Why does a girl communicate but doesn’t want to meet?

Starting a relationship: when is it time to move to the next level?

The first dates have passed, and perhaps you have even managed to announce yourself as a couple in front of friends and relatives. But there was still no “most important” thing between you. What's the matter, why doesn't a girl want to have sex? If you ask your significant other about this directly, the answer can be anything. She may simply laugh it off, seriously report that you don’t know each other well enough, or even reproach the guy for “just wanting one thing.” In fact, all girls (and especially those in love) want sex. The reasons for refusal usually lie in psychological barriers. These are fears of appearing easily accessible or of disappointing your loved one in bed. A woman can refuse intimacy if she is not yet completely sure that she has made the right choice.

What to do if a girl does not agree to intimacy? Persuasion is not the best option, and you certainly should not lead to serious quarrels on this basis. A guy should try to earn the trust of his chosen one. But it’s better not to negotiate about first sex at all. Let everything happen in a “natural” way. Wait for the right moment to be alone. A calm romantic atmosphere, a glass of wine - and, most likely, she will not be able to say “no”.

Sequencing

1. It is necessary to determine the reason why you cannot build a relationship. We need to figure out why the girl refuses to date. Moreover, you must understand that not in all cases she herself will be able to admit these reasons. It is necessary to objectively assess the situation, look at yourself from the outside.
2. Set a goal for yourself, make a plan to achieve it. It is necessary for the girl to notice your determination and seriousness of intentions. Everyone around her should understand that you show signs of attention, look after her, and are not afraid to demonstrate your feelings.
3. You can try changing tactics. Go from an invitation to go to the cinema to singing under the window.

1. Evaluate yourself from the outside. If you notice that there are some shortcomings or suspect their presence, then it’s time to make changes in your life. Take care of yourself, maintain personal hygiene, update your wardrobe, do your hair, start going to the gym, practice diction if you have problems pronouncing words, read books on psychology to better understand female nature. It is important that your efforts lead to you becoming a restrained, organized and courageous person. Every girl dreams of seeing a man next to her who will be both responsible and cheerful. Try to surprise your chosen one, amaze the young lady every day. Give surprises, plan interesting events. It is important that the girl feels unique.
2. If a young lady has recently broken off a relationship with a young man, then you need to postpone your proposal. It is unacceptable to put pressure on her. It is worth keeping under control how she treats you, whether her attitude changes over time. If the young lady has some feelings for you, then the more time passes, the closer she will become to you. If nothing changes, the girl continues to remain cold, then most likely the reason is something else.
3. If a young lady is convinced that all men are bastards and traitors, then she needs to be shown with the right examples that happy relationships between people of the opposite sex can exist. We need to convince the girl that her family model is not iconic, that she deserves a normal, full, happy life with a man.
4. If the young lady does not have special feelings for you, then there are two ways: either resign yourself and forget, or try to change the girl’s attitude towards her person. There are cases when a guy still managed to win the favor of a young lady who did not pay attention to him at the beginning of the conversation. As a rule, this can be achieved when a beautiful lady gets to know the guy better or he disappears from her life for some time, and then appears more confident, courageous, with a new image, with a better figure, well-groomed, and appears in a completely new look. But it is worth considering the possibility that the changes will not make the right impression on the girl. Perhaps you are simply not her type or there is already an owner of her heart.
5. The more you talk about your feelings, the more desperate you will look. This behavior can scare a girl away. It is better to demonstrate your self-sufficiency and confidence.
6. Make sure that your chosen one is not one of those who likes to surround herself with fans, but does not strive for a relationship.

Most girls are romantic by nature - they like to see a sensitive, attentive and strong companion next to them. But what to do if the girl refuses all the efforts and hints from the guy?

Why doesn’t a girl want a serious relationship and what can be done to change her mind? Let's find out!

Trivial secrets of bad dates

In the life of each of the men, there were unexpected refusals of intimacy. We are talking about situations when a girl demonstrates in every possible way her sympathy and consent to continue a pleasant evening, but at the last moment does not agree to sex. Due to inexperience, many guys are often unable to understand what happened, and sometimes begin to seriously doubt their abilities. Why doesn’t a young girl want sex if she agreed to kiss and communicate with a man?

Very often the explanation for this behavior sounds funny. Many girls try to avoid intimacy during menstrual periods or experiencing some temporary complexes about their own appearance. Especially when it comes to a new partner or the very beginning of a love affair. If the refusal is one-time, the most likely reasons why a girl does not want sex are what she thinks are ugly underwear or unshaven legs. There is no point in being persistent or pestering with questions in such a situation; it is better to postpone intimacy until a more appropriate time.

Errors and how to fix them

I'm ugly

If you have the idea that it's all about appearance, then this is a false problem. You have been exposed to influences that have created the belief that you are unattractive. There are a lot of young people who are naturally beautiful, but at the same time have complexes. Even if you actually have an appearance that does not correspond to stereotypes, and you consider this the reason for your lack of success with women, you are mistaken.

If you are sure of your ugliness, then my words cause strong protest. I want to exclaim - “Look, I’m a natural freak, I’ll never have a girlfriend!” I see myself in the mirror every day!” I still won’t believe it, since in my practice there have been a lot of cases when a person overcame complexes about his appearance and easily met girls he liked. This is a problem of low self-esteem and the influence of stereotypes about male beauty.

Self-esteem is easy to correct; you just need to get rid of the negative attitude and accept yourself as you are. Effective methods for identifying and changing negative attitudes were developed decades ago; you just need to use them.

Regarding the fact that you supposedly “objectively” consider yourself ugly, there is an article here. There is correspondence with your like-minded person. At the end, the reason for the emergence of such “objectivity” is described. If you don’t want to re-read, I’ll quote the main idea:

Every person has a homosexual ideal - this is a person’s idea of ​​the beauty of people of the same sex. Your appearance most likely differs from this ideal of beauty. You mistakenly attribute your ideas about male attractiveness to all the women around you, especially the ones you like. You think that they certainly have exactly the same opinion. And since you yourself do not live up to your homosexual ideal, you think that no one can please you. Here is a mechanism for you to justify your ugliness.

You just need to realize that women have different tastes - women like different men. You definitely fit someone's ideal of beauty. There are definitely women around you who like you externally. You simply don’t notice them and don’t see the signals they give.

This is how consciousness works. If you have confidence in something, some kind of “one hundred percent” knowledge, then you will tend to notice only that information that confirms your existing beliefs. The thought “I’m ugly” is a negative attitude. You always find confirmation for her. Information that does not support this attitude is rejected and forgotten over time. After all, you’ve heard more than once that for most women, a man’s appearance is not the main thing. Other qualities are important, for example, the sensations she gets from communication, from sexual contact. There are many studies of women's preferences that have shown that when choosing a partner, the man's beauty is not put in the first place. You missed all this, the information did not inspire confidence, or, if you believed it, it flew out of your head over time.

I hope that after such a piece of information you will not forget that your beliefs are false and, accordingly, are harmful to you. You already experience the consequences regularly.

Diffidence

The second reason that holds us back from active action is lack of self-confidence and lack of confidence in communication. These are the very reasons that create constraint when communicating with girls. With your behavior you will scare off the girl, even if at first she began to like you.

In pickup training, out of ignorance, they suggest doing a large number of approaches, as if this will make stiffness disappear and learning will occur with the number of repetitions. It’s as if a reflex is developed, like Pavlov’s dog. This doesn't actually happen. With each new acquaintance, the pick-up artist experiences the same range of feelings; he turns out to be internally not ready for contact. He learns a little to overcome his fear, but stiffness and posturing are always very well felt by people. One pickup artist assured me, “What are you talking about! It helped me! I learned!" And at the same time he looked nervous and confused. This is not something to strive for.

Success among girls is actually ensured not by external data - facial beauty and not a mountain of muscles, not flashy, fashionable clothes - but by the ability to communicate with girls, the ability to cause sexual arousal. On the Internet you can find many revelations when a guy is tall, athletic, with a pretty face, but still is not popular with girls. Such people attract women with their appearance, but until they open their mouth. Success with girls is always guaranteed for those guys who know how to communicate.

The ability to communicate does not mean a set and sequence of correct phrases or some kind of tricks and manipulations. The ability to communicate means that you feel at ease and at ease when communicating with girls. You can openly express your feelings - both joy and sadness - the whole gamut of feelings. The ability to communicate is when you are not ashamed of yourself and your thoughts, say what you think, and are not afraid to show your girl your sexual interest. All this makes up your personal charm. This is a unique charm that is unique to you. Nothing depends on the number of words. It's not what or how much you say that matters, it's how you say it that matters.

Unnaturalness

All people are very subtle receivers, we all feel each other very well, so it is impossible to portray lightness and ease. If you pretend to be yourself, everyone will see it. It’s just that not everyone will openly tell you this. You will be left with the impression of being fake. If you are a quiet person, don't try to pretend to be a talker, you won't do well. Now there is a fashion for a certain mental state - this is the state of “eternal positivity”, such a person with a motor in one place. This condition is attributed to all successful people, including guys who are popular with girls. According to this fashion, this way of behavior is imposed on everyone. Many people, who are not naturally inclined to such behavior, portray positivity and the “life of the party,” which looks very funny and sometimes causes irritation.

It makes much more sense to be natural. Use what is given to you by nature and you will get the maximum benefit. Nature has rewarded you with a certain set of qualities and predispositions, and they need to be updated - this is the path of a healthy, successful person. To communicate easily, you need to gradually loosen your instincts. Communication with girls is a manifestation of sexual instinct. Confident communication is achieved by the ability to openly express your feelings.

BONUS:

As a bonus, I bring to your attention the most natural and human method of meeting and seducing girls. You don’t need techniques to succeed; you need to change your attitudes and get rid of dependence on other people’s opinions. So, instructions:

1. Think about yourself. You need to get the thought out of your head: “Will you like me?” Focus entirely on your feelings - “Do I like her or not?”, “Should I even ask her on a date?” This is the main thing. There should be no doubt that you will be liked. If there is any doubt, you are unwell. You need to read all articles on this site 3 times.
2. Think about yourself. You need to be relaxed. Relaxation comes when you don't try to please and impress. Focus on your goals. Whatever you need, move the conversation there. Create situations that bring you closer to your goal.
3. Think about yourself. Be interested in the girl. Find out only what is truly interesting. Speak sincerely about your interests. If you realize that there is no interest, don’t pretend to be. Stop communication.
4. Think about yourself. Don't be afraid to offend. In the eyes of other people, you are a fleeting impression. You are forgotten as quickly as you forgot about everyone you saw today. No one cares about you, everyone thinks about their problems, so you can think about yourself. Someone manages to be afraid of offending a girl, because he may lose interest or because he is going to run away. No need.
5. Think about yourself. They communicate and care for pleasure. That is, think about how you will get pleasure first. If a girl doesn't like your ways of getting pleasure, then she's not the guy for you. Don't torture and don't suffer.
6. Think about yourself. Give yourself permission to touch girls. If you are relaxed and calm, then you will always like it. If you are tense, it will be felt and transmitted. Think about how to be relaxed and allow yourself more.
7. Think about yourself. People have sex primarily for themselves. The main thing is that you enjoy it. If you receive, your partner will also receive. When you try to impress, everything gets blurry and no one enjoys it.
8. Think about yourself. The ability to communicate comes with experience. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself immediately for mistakes. Analyze mistakes, draw conclusions and immediately forget them as if they never happened.

Psychological subtleties

Most girls have their own principles and stereotypes regarding sex. Women strive to enter into an intimate relationship only with a man they like if they have a high degree of trust in him. According to the majority of representatives of the fair sex, a certain amount of time must pass between acquaintance or the beginning of a relationship and the first sexual contact with a partner. Some girls have high morals. Even in our century, you can still meet young ladies who believe that sex can only be done after a wedding or official engagement. At the same time, many girls are not against intimacy in relationships, but are afraid of being abandoned after that. If this has already happened to a particular representative of the fair sex, there is a high probability that she will be afraid of getting burned again.

Problems with libido can also occur in individual special cases. A categorical dislike of sex may be a consequence of experienced sexual violence or moral trauma. What should a guy do in all these cases, and how to understand a particular girl? If your relationship with her means a lot to you, it makes sense to forget about sex for a while and, above all, become a true friend to her. Subsequently, she will most likely tell you about all her fears.

Where does passion go from a relationship?

Why doesn’t a girl want sex if the relationship lasts for some time and there were no problems with intimate life at the beginning? A gradual decrease in passion and mutual sexual desire is normal for most couples who have been dating for a long time. When a partner becomes well known and completely “one of our own,” interest in him decreases somewhat. New experiences will help correct the situation. Go on vacation together or rent a hotel room for the weekend. Separation will also help rekindle fading passion. Pleasant emotions greatly increase female libido. Amaze your loved one with an unexpected gift or arrange some kind of surprise for her. In a relationship that lasts for years, all this needs to be repeated from time to time.

Or maybe your chosen one is tired of sex as such? In this case, it will be useful to learn new techniques and poses, as well as visit a store for adults. If the gradual fading of passion can be explained by the routine of a long-term relationship, then what to think in the case when a girl suddenly no longer wants sex? Just a week ago, everything was fine in terms of intimacy, but now the beloved does nothing but refuse sex. This situation will surprise and alarm any man. What reasons are most likely in this case?

Moral and psychological fatigue

Sexual desire awakens very rarely in people who are exposed to significant physical activity every day. Sometimes men underestimate women's housework or child care. But believe me, in fact, tired representatives of the fair sex are always easy to spot in the crowd if you are a little more attentive. If your chosen one tries to passively spend her free time and strives to get enough sleep whenever possible, most likely she feels tired. At the same time, not only physical, but also mental strength can be depleted. Increased intellectual stress and stress negatively affect the well-being of any person.

Systematic overload on the mental and/or physical level is one of the reasons why a girl does not want sex. You can solve the problem by partially “unloading” your significant other. Try to help your loved one around the house more often and not bother her with additional requests and instructions. Organize a quality holiday together on the weekend - and very soon you will notice positive changes.

When the guy is the reason

When a man asks why I can’t find a girl, psychologists first of all advise to understand myself. When the situation reaches a dead end, all friends and acquaintances have long ago found their soul mates, and there is a complete crisis in your own personal life, it is important to objectively analyze yourself and your lifestyle. The reasons behind a guy may relate not only to his external data, but also to his character, degree of maturity and prospects.

Inability to take care of yourself

Many men, first of all, when it comes to why they can’t find a girl, blame their appearance. Psychologists say that such complexes lie in imposed stereotypes and patterns from society. Practice shows that most attractive men have complexes about their appearance. In fact, women look at several indicators of external male beauty:

• neatness and neatness;
• cleanliness and personal hygiene;
• nice smell;
• stylish outfits;
• well-groomed haircut and facial hair.

Each woman has her own individual concepts of male beauty; most women choose men based on the sexual sensations they experience next to them. A man just needs to follow the rules of hygiene, dress according to fashion trends, use perfume, and promptly tidy up the condition of his hair and nails.

Diffidence

Many men, in search of answers to the question of what to do if you can’t find a girl, do not notice that there are girls around who are showing interest and signs of attention. The reason lies in banal self-doubt, which slows down and does not allow a man to take active actions. And even if the girl herself takes the initiative, the man will only push her away with his constraint, uncertain and confused speech.

There are several ways to overcome self-doubt:

• training;
• finding new hobbies and interests;
• sports and active recreation;
• reading books and gaining new knowledge;
• development of communication skills through constant communication with different people.

Psychology also considers a radical way to eliminate fears and complexes - overcoming them. If a man is terribly afraid of something, he needs to look fear in the eye, doing similar things over and over again. This will show the man the unlimited nature of his abilities.

Insolvency

For any girl, when choosing a partner, his personality maturity and wealth are important. This is not about financial well-being, but about the capabilities, goals and achievements of a man. In the eyes of a woman, an ideal partner is a man who is absolutely independent and clearly understands his life for years to come, who is able to solve not only his own problems, but is also ready to take on any difficulties in a woman’s life.

A wealthy man is defined in several areas of his life - in work, intellectual development, moral stability, sexually and financially. To become close to such an ideal, a man must clearly understand what he is moving towards and striving for, what ways he will achieve his goals, what he wants from life, what he can give to his woman and family.

Expert opinion

Elena Druzhnikova

Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.

Often the main reason why a man can’t find a girlfriend is his fear due to failures in past relationships. Because of this, on a subconscious level, a man himself isolates himself from women and the prospect of relationships.

Is everything okay in your relationship?

Sex for a woman is one of the facets of a relationship with a man. Reluctance to be intimate may be caused by problems with your partner. A girl may be offended by something and pretend that “everything is fine,” or still not forget the last quarrel, after which a truce was concluded. One of the reasons why a girl doesn't want sex is her dissatisfaction with the relationship. Having complaints against her partner, any woman would rather think about breaking up with him than going to bed. If your relationship isn't perfect, it makes sense to work on it. And you need to start with a frank heart-to-heart conversation.

Loss of interest in a particular man

A popular reason for women losing interest in sex is disappointment in a particular man. In this case, there is a possibility that the partner does not satisfy the fair sex in terms of relationships or exclusively in bed. The problem is that not all girls are ready to talk honestly about this with their chosen one. Sometimes the reason for coldness in a relationship is the appearance of another man in a woman’s life. Interestingly, falling in love can be exclusively platonic. But at the same time, romantic feelings can turn out to be so strong that the person with whom the woman is in a relationship will almost completely cease to interest her.

Why does a woman communicate but say she doesn’t want to date?

The phrases are painfully familiar, aren’t they? If your crush constantly says them, and you suppress the nagging feeling of resentment in your chest, this is the friend zone.

You can be the closest person to a girl, understand her perfectly, have jokes that only you two understand, but have no chance of mutual feelings.

Most often, the culprit is indecision. Perhaps the moment was missed when it was worth confessing your love and now the girl cannot perceive you differently. To make matters worse, your friend may be in love with another guy and discuss their relationship with you.

Is the girl in a relationship but still flirts with you and isn’t shy about asking for favors? Perhaps even jealous when you begin to show sympathy for other representatives of the fair sex?

• Quite cynical, but very common behavior of young ladies who prefer to think through the outcome of any relationship in advance.
• Your mistake is endlessly waiting for her current relationship to end sooner or later, and then her beloved will become yours.
• Think about what can await you in this union? Won't your chosen one treat another naive guy in the same way, making him her backup option?

The bitter experience of previous relationships makes a girl more careful and selective towards men. The chosen one may refuse you, even if she experiences similar warm feelings, only because she is afraid of getting burned again, being deceived or abandoned.

In this case, you just need to be patient and show maximum attention and care so that your beloved thaws out and understands that she has nothing to fear with you.

How to correct the situation if the girl has not yet recovered from the bitter experience of past relationships is described in the video:

The girl behaves coldly and arrogantly and makes herself known only when she needs something:

• Are you her faithful driver, household assistant, or maybe even a financial sponsor, but in return you receive nothing but flirtation and ghostly hints of a relationship?
• Or maybe even the girl is not shy about belittling your dignity and causing you an imposed feeling of guilt? We have bad news for you - this is abuse.

Important! Abuse is a person’s tendency to hurt others and feel power over them. If an abusive girl understands that her partner is fighting to lose her and therefore cannot repay her in kind, this fuels her fuse even more.

All you need to do in this situation is to gain self-esteem and end this painful relationship.

Now is no longer the time when a woman’s only dream is a successful marriage, motherhood and waiting for her husband to get home from work in the evenings.

Modern girls, like boys, care about self-realization and a career. In this whirlwind between study, work, fitness and hobbies, there is not always time for a serious love relationship.

Such girls, as a rule, are interested in equally ambitious young men who know how to set goals and achieve results. And it is also important that the chosen one does not devalue her aspirations and does not impose his value system.

Important! If your chosen one is like this, show her that you can become a support and support for her.

An attractive and interesting young lady may have more than one contender for her heart. It is quite natural that a young lady may doubt which of the men to choose.

Here the outcome may depend on her personal preferences and the assertiveness of the young man.

What to do if a girl doesn't want sex?

We have examined the most common reasons for the fair sex’s refusal to have sex. If this problem is observed in your relationship, it makes sense to try to determine its cause. Not all men understand why girls don't want sex every day. In fact, for most women, intimate intimacy with a loved one every other day, or even a couple of times a week, is enough. But if problems with regular sex began suddenly, the problem needs to be solved. Romantic evenings with interesting continuations and frank conversations work equally well in such situations. What to do in a particular case is up to you to decide, since it’s unlikely that anyone else knows your beloved woman better.

And don’t even ask why a girl doesn’t want sex after orgasm. Usually at this moment a woman experiences the highest pleasure and satisfaction. Representatives of the fair sex often want to chat or just lie in bed with their loved one, but not to repeat everything from the very beginning.

What to answer if a girl refuses to date?

“Die bastard!” – You shouldn’t answer in that spirit. If you are very offended or angry, then just get wet. Let her think and try to understand how you feel.

There is also no need to repent, apologize or beg. All these paths lead to the friend zone, from which there is simply no way out. Be firm and you might get another chance.

You can answer her neutrally, “I understand,” “It’s okay,” “Okay, let’s be friends,” and so on. But after refusing, you shouldn’t immediately start communicating closely with her. Otherwise, you'll end up in the friend zone again.

You can answer her with humor. But don't overdo it. Otherwise, she will think that you are just a joker, and then there will be no talk of a romantic relationship.

And there is no need to ask for a reason for refusal or a promise to think about it. This is not buying a vacuum cleaner. Love cannot be sold with the help of good advertising.

Why do girls refuse guys relationships?

If a girl refuses to meet you, then she doesn’t like you. Other reasons are (in most cases) simple excuses. To fix the situation, you need:

1. Change your image;
2. Start behaving differently;
3. Play sports or be creative;
4. For a while, leave the lady alone;
5. Understand what she wants;
6. Try to become better.

Girls love serious guys who can solve problems and show emotions in moderation. But there are also small deviations from the course. After all, each case is individual.

Change yourself qualitatively and gradually. Then all reasons will fade before her feelings. If a girl loves, then she dates despite everything.

Sometimes (!) ladies don’t want a relationship due to the fact that they don’t know the guy well or are simply capricious. If she communicates with you normally and does not ignore you, but does not want intimacy, perhaps this is such a case. Here you can start being friends with her, but only with the clear goal of turning friendship into love.

And if she doesn’t want to be with you, but is “stirring up” with others, then she doesn’t like you. Here you just have to work on yourself. Nothing else is given.