When was the last time you spoke out in defense of one of your cherished beliefs? How did you feel? You may have experienced a feeling of disappointment. Very often we rehearse dialogues in our heads, imagining what we will say when we meet this or that person, but when the time comes to speak, everything goes differently.
The thing is that we often stick to that part of our thinking that seems true, and simply drown out doubts about the rest. We want to be true to ourselves, but do you know what that really means?
Harmony with yourself
The whole point is the value of self-knowledge. Without knowing a person, how can you be faithful to him? By deceiving ourselves, we take a serious risk. The consequence of a lack of self-knowledge is unhappy relationships, emotional burnout, depression, poor health, rapid aging, and mental disorders.
This is not the life any of us would want for ourselves or for someone we care about. So what can we change?
Take responsibility for your happiness
Sometimes we think that we need the love of a specific person to be completely satisfied. And not just love, but his assurance that he will always be there and will never hurt us. We are willing to do whatever it takes to maintain a great relationship, but feelings at an emotional high don't last long.
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After a while, you will still want this person to be around, but at the same time, you will begin to realize that his company is not enough to make you truly happy. True happiness begins within ourselves.
A teenager from Rechitsa, born without arms, made a film about his life in a boarding school
“I live and that’s the main thing,” says Adam. A still from his film “My Story.”
Nick Vujicic told me: “Be grateful for what you have and do the best you can.”
When the legendary Nick Vujicic first came to Belarus in 2020, he specifically set aside time to meet with 12-year-old Adam Essert from the Rechitsa boarding school. The boy was also born without arms and is growing weakly. But he is as strong-willed and purposeful as Nick.
“This meeting gave me more strength and confidence that I was needed, that I could do anything,” Adam enthusiastically tells about this bright episode of his life four years later in the film “My Story,” which he presented at the “Dreams Come True” festival. If Adam follows in Nick Vujicic's footsteps and becomes a motivational speaker, then this film could be considered the first step in his career.
Nick Vujicic himself wanted to meet with a pupil of the Rechitsa boarding school. Still from the film “My Life”.
“When I was brought to the orphanage at the age of four, it was a warm summer day. But I was scared. I curled up into a ball. But kind eyes and smiling faces looked at me from all sides, gentle hands stroked my head. These were the hands of my teachers, who became like mothers to me. And I wasn’t scared at all, I wanted to snuggle and hug everyone at once. And I realized: they love me! I didn’t immediately realize that I was different from everyone else, but I understood one thing: I’m alive...
Thus begins Adam's short autobiographical film. He gratefully recalls his meeting with Nick Vujicic and his parting words:
“He told me, ‘God has plans for your life. Be grateful for what you have and do the best you can.”
Or maybe Adam is a lot of things. Considering that his actions are usual for us, this is a feat. Without hands, he confidently brushes his teeth with an electric brush, writes legibly while clenching a pen in his teeth, and works on a computer using a special mouse, which is controlled by his foot. The guy is active and athletic. He works out his abs well, plays football, and actively participates in all school events. You should see how dashingly he plays darts! Not everyone can throw darts with their hands as accurately as Adam directs them at the target with his mouth. And how cleverly he puts on his cap by throwing it up - such a spectacular trick is worth learning! And how a boy knows how to be happy with what he has.
“I have many friends, I even have a beloved girl, Dasha,” says the guy, including in his film footage of a walk with an ordinary and such a wonderful girl, Dasha.
In his free time, Adam edits his videos. It is not surprising that at the “Dreams Come True” festival he participates in the “Cinema Arts” category. Here, as in the “Original Genre” category, there are two contenders. The biggest competition in “Choreography” is 8 numbers.
Most of the numbers are in the “Choreography” category.
“We, physically healthy people, have a lot to learn from them - don’t be discouraged, don’t despair, don’t give up.”
All the works presented in the festival program are a lot of work and great inspiration. Many participants perform in wheelchairs - and how gracefully they move, how they get into character! Therefore, you look at them without taking your eyes off and admire the fortitude of these children. All of them are pupils of boarding schools from different places: Rechitsa, Minsk, Ivenets, Bogushevsk, Vasilishki, Cherven, Vesnovo, Gomel.
Each participant is a special dramatic story that deserves a separate story. After all, they ended up in boarding schools due to congenital diseases, with which not even all their relatives are able to get along in the same house. And for many students, for this reason, their parents disappeared from their lives once and for all. Therefore, the desire of the guys to create something beautiful and how sincerely they do it is worth a lot.
Each issue is a lot of work and a lot of inspiration. Photo mintrud.gov.by
You can view all the numbers on the website https://wwb.by/festival-mechty-sbyvayutsya/ and even vote for your favorite participants (until December 23).
The Republican Festival of Creativity for Children and Young People with Disabilities “Dreams Come True” has been held annually since 2007 with the support of the Ministry of Labor and Social Protection of the Republic of Belarus. Winners and participants receive awards and valuable prizes, and the team awarded the Grand Prix also goes to festivals abroad. But the rewards are also more valuable.
In July, we wrote about Kirill Poit, a pupil of the Gorodishche boarding school. At the maternity hospital, the mother who gave birth to twin boys was told that one of them would not live even a few days, and the family considered him dead. Until we saw on TV a report from the gala concert of the “Dreams Come True” festival, where Kirill sang. After this, the boy met with his family. One dream came true...
Gala concerts are also a dream come true for many participants. After all, they perform on the same stage - and in different years this was the Summer Amphitheater in Vitebsk, and the Republican Palace of Trade Unions, and the Mir, Lida and Nesvizh Castles - with famous artists. Traditionally, pop stars and famous people of our country take part in the festival (including as members of the jury): Dmitry Koldun, Alexander Solodukha, Uncle Vanya, Alexander Patlis, Alena Lanskaya, Alexey Khlestov, Larisa Gribaleva, Anastasia Tikhanovich, Oleg Khomenko, Vitaly Karpanov , Svetlana Borovskaya, Lyudmila Khitrova, groups “J:Mors”, “Pull-Push”, NaviBand, “Silver Wedding”, circus artists, winners of the international shows “Ukraine’s Got Talent”, “X-Factor” and many others.
Festival participants at the gala concert perform on the same stage with famous artists. Photo mintrud.gov.by
“These children, having certain physical ailments, show diligence and diligence in order to achieve something, to imagine something that will evoke some kind of emotion in those who are in the hall. And they succeed,” says singer and musician Alexander Patlis , one of the festival jury members. “For the most part, these children are very open, and we, physically healthy people, have a lot to learn from them - don’t get discouraged, don’t despair, don’t give up, believe in yourself and strive to achieve your goal.” They are all worthy of reward and respect because they are not idle. It is most important.
Help "KP"
This year, the “Dreams Come True” festival is dedicated to the 20th anniversary of one of the organizers of this event, the charitable public association “WORLD WITHOUT BORDERS,” which works with children in difficult life situations.
“In the current epidemiological conditions, it was incredibly difficult for the children and teachers themselves to organize and participate in the competition. They did it,” said Tatyana Korotkevich, representative of the NGO “World Without Borders.” — Our organization helped 8 boarding homes to be in touch with the world, thanks to sponsorship aimed at connecting Internet equipment and paying for Internet connections by the end of the year.
For children, this festival is a big event in their lives; they always prepare with pleasure and are excited in anticipation of the results. Children and young people with disabilities living in boarding homes participate in the festival. These are guys with serious illnesses that often significantly limit the quality and length of life. The festival has become practically the only opportunity for children from boarding schools to realize their talents, embody creative ideas and show them to a large audience, and expand opportunities to realize their rights.
Move away from negativity
Separate yourself from those who refuse to see your value. You are not on the same path with someone who constantly criticizes and condemns. Sometimes relationships with such people can improve after communication and mutual desire for self-improvement, but this does not happen so often.
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Don't blame yourself if someone treats you badly. It is possible that after some time this person will be able to see your strengths, but for now, confidently protect your mind and heart from negative attacks.
Where can I find a way out of the deadlock?
Understand that “good” and “bad” situations are just labels. And these labels were invented by the man himself. When trying to understand how to get out of an impasse, it is worth taking a closer look at the impasse itself. And then notice that perhaps what you see in front of you is not a wall at all, but a new turn leading to new exciting places. Stop running in circles, “chewing” your problems and discussing the impasse that has arisen in life. If necessary, take a step back, sometimes this is a great opportunity to turn onto another road.
True self
You don't have to fit into a mold that other people think is "cute" if that image doesn't fit your idea of who you are as a person. You don't have to be like someone else or behave the way someone else likes. The value of each person is individual, so it does not depend on what other people think.
Make room for the things you love. Respect your need for self-care and privacy. Nobody has the right to know everything about you. You are responsible for the choices you make, so you don't need anyone else's approval.
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Write your life story
Make your life more meaningful by writing down your life story. Emily Esfahani Smith, mentioned above, explains that sharing your life provides clarity.
It offers a framework that goes beyond everyday life and allows you to see how different events in your life contribute to the whole. This will help you understand yourself and your life.
Additionally, creating your life story will give you the opportunity to retell your stories in a more positive way. Obviously, you're limited by the facts, but you can edit your stories and revise them so you can start telling a better story about your life.
Three good themes for your life story: redemption, love, and growth.
Choose authenticity over popularity.
You'll meet a lot of people who have their own ideas about what it means to be "cool." And most of these ideas are expressed only in words, and not supported by deeds and actions. Remember the feeling when you did something bad, but at the same time received approval from others? It can be compared to what war criminals experience when they “just follow orders” - this is how they defend their actions, sometimes inhumane. Deep down, you know that you have a responsibility to be authentic, to be true to your inner self.
Life dead end is synonymous with depression
Depression is a scary term. As a rule, long-term stress leads to it. Often not even that noticeable. They accumulate inside, creating tension in the nervous system, and after a while they spill out - causing a nervous breakdown.
Despite the fact that the word “stress” itself is perceived in a negative way, this concept is not exclusively negative. Stress is well known to evolution, and over many thousands of years it has learned to use it for the benefit of the human body.
In a stressful situation, the work of the brain and muscles is activated. The process of mental activity proceeds more easily, and the body is ready to demonstrate unprecedented physical results.
Stress is a natural defense against a frightening factor. This state can trigger mechanisms in the body that are ready to save life at a crucial moment. But when he becomes a person’s constant companion, this is fraught with bad consequences. Such an effect on the body only destroys it. And now you are sitting at the computer, ready to abandon everyone and everything, and you feel the approach of a juice-sucking depression. But if you have the strength to enter into a search engine the phrase “dead end in life, what should you do?” - that means not all is lost.
To find a way out of the impasse and break the circle of worries and constant lack of strength to fight these same experiences, you need to look at familiar things from a slightly different angle. How?
Know how to say: “No!”
Trying to please people won't get you anywhere good. Learn to refuse if the fulfillment of a particular request goes against your principles and rules. At first glance, it may seem that saying “no” is more difficult for you than saying “yes,” and sometimes the right answer lies somewhere between “yes” and “no.”
For example, “now is not the time for this,” or “we’ll come back to this conversation later.” If the answer you are willing to give does not satisfy the other person, you are not obligated to ignore the truth and please him.
Think about your legacy
At the end of your life, you will be pleased to know that you are leaving behind a meaningful legacy. Sit down and ask yourself what your legacy will be when you leave.
If you're unhappy with what your legacy will be if you die tomorrow, start creating a meaningful legacy now. Make your life more meaningful by working on your legacy.
Final Thoughts You can start enjoying all the benefits of living a fulfilling life by implementing the 8 tips above. Live your best life, making it a life full of meaning.
- How to find the meaning of life and your true purpose
