Social networks, computer games, interactive chats and a variety of instant messengers that allow people to communicate simply by clicking on the sensors of their gadgets - just a few decades ago, all this might have seemed like science fiction. But today this is our reality, and such things will no longer surprise anyone. Undoubtedly, the development of technology significantly and many times improves human life, making it more comfortable, convenient, and simpler. But at the same time, this medal also has a downside.
All our acquaintances, friends and colleagues can easily be placed in a small contact window, dialogues, business and intimate conversations take the form of chats, and emotions are expressed with colorful emoticons. And at the same time, for us, and especially for the younger generation, the problem of socialization is becoming increasingly relevant, and more specifically, the problem of developing communication skills, i.e. developing communication skills - real interaction with other people.
The importance of communication skills and features of their development
Even though it may seem trivial to talk about the importance of communication skills, we still want to pay some attention to it. This will contribute to a better understanding of the need to interact competently with others in the real world and will help to better understand what influences the development of communication abilities.
Communication skills are extremely important for forming a social circle, meeting people, making friends and negotiating, purchasing goods and services, concluding contracts and doing business, building productive relationships, resolving conflicts and finding mutual understanding with others. And if a person does not know how to communicate, on his way he will encounter many problems and difficulties, both in his personal life and in the professional sphere.
Simply put, communication skills constitute a special behavioral complex that allows each of us to:
- establish contacts;
- interest the interlocutor;
- maintain communication;
- maintain relationships;
- argue your thoughts;
- defend your interests;
- resolve conflicts;
- use nonverbal means of communication;
- protect yourself from manipulation;
- understand others, the motives of their actions and reactions.
And here is what the famous writer and business coach Itzhak Pintosevich says about the importance of the ability to communicate in life (by the way, from this video you can take note of several tips on developing communication skills).
More practical recommendations are waiting for you below, but for now let's continue the conversation. As you know, there are several types of communication skills:
- information and communication ability, responsible for starting, maintaining and ending a conversation, as well as attracting the attention of the interlocutor and the use of verbal and non-verbal means of communication;
- affective-communicative ability, which helps to notice the emotional state of the interlocutor and respond competently to it, as well as show responsiveness and respect towards the partner;
- regulatory and communicative ability, which allows you to help your interlocutor during communication and use optimal ways to resolve conflict situations; this same ability allows a person to accept help from others.
As for the structure of communication abilities, it includes many components, including:
- social perception (related to the perception, understanding and evaluation of oneself, other people and social groups);
- gnostic skills and reflection (related to awareness, systematization and transfer of information);
- cognitive skills (related to the characteristics of memory, thinking and attention);
- interactional skills (related to “presenting yourself” and the ability to “tune in” to your interlocutor);
- strong-willed qualities;
- perception and interpretation of verbal and non-verbal signals;
- ability to understand subtext and context;
- ability to use sign systems to solve various communication problems, etc.
You can determine how developed a person’s social and communication skills are by how actively, intensively and continuously he maintains contact with other people, how wide his circle of contacts is, how effectively he solves communication problems and some other indicators.
The development of communication skills begins in childhood and is influenced by many factors, such as the characteristics of upbringing, the microclimate in the family, lifestyle and other important things. In the case when a person does not receive certain communicative experience, in adulthood he may be withdrawn and insecure.
But even for people with communication problems, there is always a way out of the situation, because the development of social and communication skills is available at any age. And here is the time to talk about what means of developing communication skills are available.
Below we will offer several methods for developing communication skills. For the most part, they relate, of course, to adults, but we will also definitely talk about what is needed to develop communication skills in children (preschoolers, schoolchildren, etc.).
Reasons for isolation
Closed people or introverts are primarily focused on their inner world, their fantasies and do not care about the world around them. It has been noticed that people with this type of character most often have certain external signs. They are often of a thin build, with an elongated face shape and pointed features.
Read more: Is swearing bad?
They are not distinguished by the plasticity of their movements, but they do very well work that requires precision in small actions. For example, such abilities go well with the professions of a surgeon, jeweler, and watchmaker.
The social circle of closed people is limited to family members and a few friends. Being surrounded by a large number of people, they stay away from noisy companies and are not talkative. They prefer not to talk about themselves and do not share their experiences with others. They experience discomfort when communicating.
The external detachment of introverts does not exclude deep internal experiences when situations affect the values of their inner world. At the same time, they are unable to independently determine by their voice intonation and actions that the other person is excited by the events taking place and is experiencing them emotionally. But this does not mean an inability to sympathize; introverts simply need to be informed about the state of the people around them.
The inner life of closed people is ordered. And they expect the same from the outside world; the tendency to act according to established rules for others seems to be a manifestation of formalism.
Closed people behave as if there is danger from others. There are differences between being withdrawn and shy. People of the first type themselves avoid communication. And the latter want to participate in public life. But they don’t know how to establish communication with others.
Development of communication skills
The proposed methods are excellent means of developing communication skills. In fact, if used together, they can serve as real communication mastery training. With its help, you can, without the help of specialists, independently eliminate the gaps that you have in the area of interpersonal interaction.
Take the initiative
The first rule of a sociable person is to overcome the fear of communication. There is no need to be shy about making contact first. If you want communication, just start it. But do not forget that there are situations when a potential interlocutor does not want to communicate, so you should not put pressure on him or force him. In other cases, you need to learn to step over your complexes and insecurities.
Be open
In many situations, people are withdrawn and insecure because they think too much about the appropriateness of their emotions and feelings. But the direct path to communication is openness. No one forbids you to laugh, be sad, confess your love, express your fears, share your observations and ideas. Although not everyone can understand you, but with the help of openness and sincerity you are more likely to find like-minded people and friends. In addition, openness helps increase self-esteem and develop a positive outlook on the world.
Listen without interrupting
The ability to listen is one of the best ways to hear, understand and win over your interlocutor. By listening without interrupting, you will not only give your partner space to express his thoughts, but you will also receive a lot of information about him, and you will also be able to see what mistakes in communication he makes so as not to repeat them in your own communication. Also, in the process of active listening, you will be able to track your reactions to a person’s behavior, which means you will learn to see yourself from the outside.
Determine the general and the individual
In any situation where you have to talk to someone, pay attention to what unites you and what makes you different from each other. This technique helps to find a common language and common ground, accept and respect someone else’s position, avoid and eliminate conflicts in the bud. By the way, one of the key points in the art of communication is to be able to accept someone else’s point of view. It is not always necessary to tell another person that he is wrong. It is enough to simply say that you have an opinion on a controversial issue.
Be confident in yourself
Developing communication skills is also about developing self-confidence. Fear of speaking out, fear of seeming funny, lack of confidence in your thoughts, words and beliefs - these and other similar things always repel others. And on the contrary, a person with adequate self-esteem, who knows his strengths and values himself, attracts others to him. Confidence is felt, evokes respect and makes people themselves come into contact with such a person.
Think about your interlocutor
One of the worst communication mistakes is to forget about the interlocutor. Imagine that a person is telling you something, but you are not interested at all, or you yourself want to talk, but the interlocutor continues to talk about his own. Surely this situation is familiar to you, and, most likely, not very pleasant. It’s the same with other people - no one likes people who are busy only with their own interests and forget about everything else. When communicating, constantly monitor your partner’s condition: is he tired, is he interested, does he want to listen to you, etc. The more attentive you are to others, the higher your communication level will become, the easier it will become for you to find a common language with people, the more pleasant it will be to communicate with you.
read books
Reading books broadens a person's horizons, increases his vocabulary, helps memorize new terms and develops the ability to construct grammatically correct sentences. Having such a communicative arsenal, you can always find something to talk about with another person, maintain the conversation or take it in a direction that is more comfortable for you. Here's a good exercise: read an interesting book and briefly retell it while recording yourself on a voice recorder. When you listen to the recording, pay attention to the shortcomings in your speech: interruptions in breathing, incorrect pauses, filler words; evaluate the overall quality of your speech. Note your mistakes and remember them so you don't make them in the future.
Attend cultural events
Attending exhibitions, museums and interesting holidays is useful not only for general development, but also for gaining communication skills. In such places one rarely gets along without making acquaintances and talking, even if it is a three-minute chat about nothing or an expression of emotions from what one sees. The main thing is to gain communicative experience. In addition, contact with creativity raises self-esteem and increases interest in life, reveals inner potential and gives inspiration.
Communicate in body language
In some situations, nonverbal communication can convey up to 90% of information about a person’s state, his mood and attitude to what is happening. If you want to become a master communicator, learn to recognize postures, gestures and other nonverbal manifestations of the interlocutor, and also be sure to pay attention to your own nonverbal cues. Once you learn to do this, you will be able to convey whatever you want to other people without saying a single word, and you will understand them better.
Focus on the positive
Always try to look for the positive in any conversation, even a bad one. An unpleasant aftertaste from a conversation, awkward moments, unsuccessful phrases - all this is part of communication, and you need to be prepared for this. However, you need to focus on the advantages of communication, so in the process, concentrate on obtaining information, trying to find a common language and understand the interlocutor, and feedback. If something suddenly goes wrong, do not attach any importance to it, but look for a clever way out of the situation.
Exercise
As with developing any important skill, practice plays a key role in developing communication skills. It is advisable to constantly be in the process of communication. Remember that one-time “forays” and attempts at initiative will not allow you to get rid of tightness, stiffness or any other problems with communication. You need to constantly strive to communicate: meet people, call your friends and family, study alone, etc. Only in this case, communication with others will become a full-fledged part of life and will no longer cause uncertainty and timidity.
By the way, about practicing alone - here we can recommend you an interesting exercise to develop social and communication skills. It is very simple to do and does not require much time.
Exercise “Transformation”
The essence of the exercise is this: think about a person who commands your respect and whom you would like to be like. This could be, for example, the hero of a film. Imagine in as much detail as possible all those qualities that attract you and describe them. Then try on all these qualities, trying to enter into the image of this person. “Take” his gait, posture, manner of holding and speaking, gaze, timbre of voice and pace of speech. After being in this role for a while, remember once again all the sensations that you were able to feel and write them down on a piece of paper. In the future, when communicating with other people, reincarnate again to communicate the way you want. The more often you practice this exercise, the more relaxed you will become, and the easier and more pleasant it will be for you to communicate.
It is easy to see that developing communication skills does not require Herculean efforts or any specific abilities. Any mentally healthy person can learn to communicate independently. You just need to apply the above recommendations. However, the means of developing communication skills are not limited to them. Today you can even find special master classes and trainings where communication masters teach people how to interact with each other. So if you want to level up to the fullest, you can look for such events.
Now we want to pay a little attention to another issue regarding the development of communication skills - the development of communication skills in children. Perhaps this information will also be useful to you.
What role does communication play in society?
All living beings in nature communicate with each other through various sounds. And ancient man, unable to get by on his own, began to involve other people in joint activities. What organized them into communities.
The main difference between animal sounds and human speech is the awareness of spoken words, which triggers thinking processes.
Communication is necessary to transfer experience from older generations to younger ones. That is, communication is a mandatory component in education, science and art.
In the process of communication, a society was created, which is part of the material world. Society is a collection of people interacting with each other through communications.
Communication functions:
- informative, that is, activities related to the transfer and exchange of information;
- social, there is an organization of people to carry out joint actions;
- psychological, a person who understands the processes that take place around him feels psychologically more comfortable. What is an individual deprived of the opportunity to receive online information about ongoing events;
- developmental, to transfer knowledge and skills it is not enough to show what needs to be done, it is important to explain why. For example, any scientific knowledge is, first of all, a thinking process of more than one generation of scientists. And the transfer of this knowledge to the next generation allows the thought to continue. And also, based on modern achievements, make new discoveries.
Communication is the key to successful socialization. Thus, children who, due to life circumstances, were deprived of human communication and were raised in packs of animals, will never be able to return to human form. The lack of communication led to a restructuring of the psyche to the level of the animal world.
Development of communication skills in children
Developing communication skills in children is one of the most important tasks facing parents. Communication is the main condition and way of a person’s life in society, and with the help of it a person can understand himself and find his place in the world. Children's communicative development requires close attention, and today, when children have begun to interact much less both with adults and with each other, this topic is becoming even more relevant.
If a child communicates little with the people around him, he simply will not learn to organize communication in the future. And this can cause a feeling of vulnerability and rejection, lead to aggressiveness, anxiety, isolation, low self-esteem and other manifestations of emotional distress. To avoid such problems, parents should provide all possible assistance to their children in social adaptation.
In our articles, we have already said more than once that the best form of teaching children anything at all is through play, and the formation of communication skills also obeys this rule. Of course, in order to study in detail all the features of the development of communication skills in children, it is better to turn to the works of recognized experts in this field, such as I. A. Kumova, L. V. Chernetskaya, M. G. Elagina, G. M. Andreeva, I. I. Ivanets and others. We want to give only a few tips and point in the right direction to those who are concerned with the topic under consideration.
The development of communication skills in children, as we said, is best done in a playful way. Games for the development of communication skills are distinguished by the fact that they offer the child the opportunity to develop and interact with other people and the world around him in general. At the same time, there is no competitive element in them, which creates an atmosphere of closeness and unity with peers, and this has the best effect on the development of the ability to communicate and build interpersonal relationships.
Games to develop communication skills can vary in focus. So, there are:
- games to establish contact;
- games for communication without words;
- games for expressive speech;
- games for behavior in conflict situations;
- games for empathic behavior and others.
These games often use the most effective teaching methods and techniques:
- practical exercises;
- games with words;
- conversations and discussions;
- modeling situations;
- sports tasks;
- playing up emotional states;
- reading works of fiction;
- performances, dances, round dances;
- holidays and evenings of relaxation.
Most often, educational events for children are organized by professional specialists. Not only the children and teachers themselves are involved in activities to develop children's communication skills, but also parents - children learn to communicate, and parents improve their ability to find a common language with them, receive invaluable teaching experience from professionals and answers to all sorts of questions about education.
The services of teachers are perhaps the best option, because these people have the appropriate knowledge, skills and tools. If parents themselves decide to teach their children to communicate, they have an even greater responsibility for developing a healthy personality in their child, ready for life in society. In this case, in any case, it will be necessary to turn to specialized sources, such as books, manuals or videos. By the way, here is an example of a good training video:
