How to choose an activity to your liking from thousands of possible ones? If you are still at a crossroads and don’t know what to grab onto, then one small but practical piece of advice will help you - don’t bother.
Quick jump to article sections:
- How to choose one thing.
- Do you even need to bother with the choice?
- Work or hobby?
- So what should you choose?
- Realities of today's world.
The Find Yourself blog already has an article with a similar title - “How to find something you like.” But there is a significant difference from today’s article. There we were simply looking for something to do to our liking, and today we will try to choose something specific from a huge pile. And most importantly, we will find out whether this should be done at all.
After all, the problem of the present time is precisely unlimited choice. There is simply a sea of possibilities! And this is stressful and confusing. It's like a TV with 500 channels. It seems like there is everything, but nothing to see.
The last article suggested a method of asking the Universe (your higher self, subconscious, inner Voice, or whatever you call it) to ask what you really want. But it doesn't work for everyone. Do you know why?
It's just a matter of having too many options. Too many of them. And even if your inner voice tells you: “Grab at this!”, then literally in a day or two it will advise you something else, and then a third, and so on ad infinitum. It's easy to go crazy. Right?
Moreover, it is not at all a fact that it is your inner voice that guides and pushes you, and not advertising or social networks. But that's a different story.
How to choose just one
No way. If this question already arises, then the problem is not in choosing something specific, but in the very idea of choice.
Why did you decide that you need to choose one? Who told you this?
That's right, that's what we were taught from childhood. Like, if you don’t choose, you’ll start scattering yourself left and right, and as a result, you won’t manage to achieve anything, you won’t achieve anything, and you’ll generally go to waste and no one will remember or love you. Life is pain.
Seriously? Have you ever wondered where these directive statements come from?
If we remember the not so distant past, say 150 - 200 years ago, then such a statement made sense. And what a one! In those days, mastering a profession was equated with survival. If you don’t get a profession, you’re considered lost. And literally.
Even some 30 years ago, this statement also made sense in the territory of the former USSR. Without a profession, you can be a freeloader and a parasite, and for this you could be imprisoned.
Today there is no longer such categoricalness. You can be a nobody and still earn some money, enough to satisfy your basic needs.
How to find your own business?
You need to start looking for your calling from school.
You should develop in different areas, try yourself in creativity and practical sciences. Play sports, read books on various topics, watch films, consult with parents and other relatives.
But even in adulthood there is a chance to find yourself. The world knows individuals who, after 40-50 and even 60 years old, began to master a new field and achieved tremendous success in it!
Remember that any activity is necessary for society.
Economists, lawyers, engineers would not be able to dress beautifully and stylishly in their leisure time if there were no designers; they would not be able to admire photographs of various attractions and unusual places in their own and other countries, in the absence of talented photographers. It is difficult to imagine our life without music, cinema, and fascinating literature.
And not everyone needs a higher education. Successful businessmen and creative personalities in some cases were unable to even finish high school.
But even without doctors, politicians, and lawyers, it is impossible to imagine a normal life. They maintain order in society, they help others and promote progress.
How to find your calling?
- Career guidance. Tests will show what kind of thinking a person has, what his natural abilities are. Creative nature or more realistic - all this can be understood by leaving answers to the proposed questions.
- Wide circle of contacts. You need to interact with people of different profiles and from different fields. Be interested in their goals and achievements, open up yourself.
- You should not focus only on the financial factor when choosing a particular activity. This is unlikely to lead to a positive result, and even if you earn income from something you don’t like, there will be little happiness and joy.
- Plan your time. Lack of time is a common problem in the age of information technology. You won't be able to meet a girl too often, spend time with friends or colleagues. But this should not be a barrier for you. A loved one will understand you and provide moral support.
- Be persistent. You can't become an expert overnight. Get ready for long and painstaking work, for failure and rejection from others. Follow your dreams.
- You can look at artists and musicians and admire them and think that the fruits of their creativity are only the result of inspiration. But no - in order to translate emotions and thoughts into “life”, they had to make considerable physical efforts, sacrifice health and finances. These people also work hard, only the result of their profession is different from others.
- It will be of great benefit if a person begins to try himself in different areas. In parallel with your studies at the institute, you can enroll in drawing, singing, and literary classes. This will not be superfluous, and someone will then have a second wind in life. Don't be afraid of not knowing something, everyone starts from scratch.
- If you find an accomplice with similar interests, it will be very good. He will serve as a mentor for the person, and vice versa.
Do you even need to bother with the choice?
If the basic needs are provided (more or less), then the question comes to the fore - what to do to avoid getting bored?
And boredom, friends, is no longer something that needs to be resolved without fail, and does not affect survival in any way. From the point of view of the animal part of our brain.
That is, this is not a need at all. It's just boredom. If you want, solve it somehow, but if you don’t want to, just lie under a bush and relax. From the point of view of the same part of the brain, this is even better, because no need to waste energy.
That's why we can't choose from a whole heap of possibilities. We simply don't need it to survive. And if so, then the body does not want to waste energy. To motivate him to do this, you need to somehow interest him in a different way, find suitable motivation.
And here comes to the fore - no, not the desire to show off or become king of the hill. A simple curiosity.
Yes, yes, yes, that’s the curiosity and inquisitiveness we’ve known since childhood. It is this that gives us the very motivation to do what we need not for survival, but simply because it is interesting.
Although, if you look at it, in prehistoric times this very curiosity served as the engine of development, and therefore for better survival.
It is curiosity that constantly itches in one place and does not allow you to calm down. We want to try everything at once.
This can be compared with everyday ordinary food needed to nourish the body, and all sorts of goodies that are not necessary, but without them life is boring and monotonous. Food and water are a necessity, and treats are a pleasure.
It’s the same with activities you enjoy. They can be done for fun. And work is to earn money (read - to provide basic needs).
Work or hobby?
The mistake of many is to look for that one activity that you will both enjoy and earn money at the same time. This is a very, very, very rare case. One in a million. Believe me. Anyone who claims otherwise is shamelessly lying.
Therefore, the first thing you need to do is separate the flies and cutlets. Work is just work. It shouldn’t be “wow, damn it!” and is not at all obliged to please you. This option is just for activities you like. And the job should just bring in enough money and not stress you out too much.
The rest of the time you can spend on whatever activity you choose.
And again the question arises - what to choose? But! Now you know that your basic needs are completely independent of this choice. They are satisfied with your work.
This means that you can now choose whatever you want as your favorite activity. Moreover, you can change them all the time, these activities are to your liking, and not get stuck on one thing. Great, right?
Essay “My “Matter of Love”!”
My “thing I like”
Literary reading lesson in second grade. Topic: “S.V. Mikhalkov “What do you have?” Talk about the most important things."
After a detailed analysis of the work, I ask the question: “What do you think can be considered the most important thing in the life of every person?”
Among the answers I hear: “the most important thing is family”, “for children the most important thing is their mother”, “the most important thing in a person’s life is communication with other people”, “the main thing is a favorite profession, it is very important to find something you like in life.”
I continue the conversation: “How to find something you like?” An argument broke out. And suddenly I hear: “Have you found something you like?”, “How did you decide that you would choose this particular profession?”
What to say? To simply say “yes, I found it”, “I dreamed of it since childhood” means to say nothing. My confusion was interrupted by a call. The lesson is over. The children hurried off to the next lesson, leaving me “alone with myself.”
My “thing I like”... How did I choose it?
“Human destiny sometimes seems like a mechanism that someone wound up and started up. I would like to find the “hand”, the “key” that turns you on. If the hand is kind and unhurried, the guarantee is unlimited. And if she’s angry and indifferent, there’s a lot of breakdowns,” argues E. Ilyin in his book “The Path to the Student.” My “mechanism” is wound up and running with kind hands. I was lucky: on my way there were reliable landmarks, people dear to me.
My great-grandmother. One of the first Komsomol activists to lead the then nascent pioneer movement in my hometown, she was one of the best counselors and raised seven sons. I remember her words: “The more you give yourself to people, the higher and stronger you become.” Love for people comes from her.
My aunts are my father's sisters. They devoted their entire lives to the teaching profession. From the first minute of their lives they go hand in hand, the inseparable twin sisters have been working in the same school as teachers of Russian language and literature for many years. From early childhood I admired their professional activities, sitting at the last desk, watching them teach lessons and imagining myself in their place... The love for the profession comes from them.
My first teacher. She was the ideal of kindness, justice, wisdom. I wanted to be like her. It was very sad to leave when our family moved to a new place of residence in a new building. And then I, a third grade student, had a meeting with a new teacher. Our school was completely new and opened its doors to students for the first time that year. I remember that festive line - everyone was happy, with beautiful bouquets in anticipation of meeting a new teacher, who should become protection, support, the closest person at school... But unfortunately, I, like all my classmates, was disappointed. Little schoolchildren went to school every day with reluctance. The teacher was unprofessional and cruel towards children. I will never forget the endless ridicule of the children and even insults for the wrong answer, the torn notebook of a classmate who made many mistakes when writing a dictation, the pointer that broke on the shoulder of her desk neighbor... She did not like children, it seemed that she was completely unhappy because she has to meet with students every day. Of course, such behavior is unacceptable in the work of a teacher, especially in relation to children who have just crossed the threshold of school. Fortunately, the school administration was able to cope with this problem, and currently this teacher has not worked with children for a long time. Oddly enough, this experience in my life played an important role in choosing a specialty. As a high school student, I realized that I would be a primary school teacher, and that if I became a teacher, then there would be one less place in school for “bad” teachers.
And for ten years now I have been walking this difficult but interesting path. The path of a teacher is a path of constant discovery. There were many joyful, happy moments there: new meetings, victories of students.
In front of me are mini-essays by students “A Matter of Love.” Thirty-eight people – thirty-eight opinions. Everyone thought about their own path. I thought about it - it means that the work reached the heart of the student and did not leave him indifferent. Isn't this the main thing in the lesson? You can use various methods and techniques in the lesson, but if the work does not excite you and remains aside, the lesson was wasted. I note for myself: the lesson took place. This means that my “thing I like” was chosen correctly. And tomorrow I go to school again with great joy...
So what should you choose?
I foresee your objections like: “But how can this be? After all, this is profanation! If you constantly jump from one thing to another, you won’t really learn anything.”
Do you need it? If yes, then for what? To do what? To achieve what? Become a pro in some activity? Why do you need to be a pro? To feel the thrill of skillful actions or to wipe everyone's nose?
When you think carefully about these questions, you will not only be able to choose an activity to your liking, but also better understand what you really want.
Perhaps what you are really driven by is simple curiosity. And then there is nothing wrong with trying one thing, then another, then a third, etc. Your thrill here will be in the “trying”.
And this is wonderful and great in its own way! You may not achieve high levels. Your goal is not them. Trying different things is what's important. It's like trying different types of ice cream. If you eat one variety, you will quickly get bored with it. And if it’s different all the time, then how much fun there will be!
Or maybe you really want to rub someone’s nose in your face, to be respected, noticed, admired, envied, set as an example, or finally praised. Then it’s not a matter of choosing an activity you like, but something else. Right? Think about it.
Why is having something you love important?
The benefits of having a job or activity you love are obvious:
- The right choice of profession allows you to feel comfortable eight hours a day, 5 days a week. We spend most of our lives at work - choosing something “not to our liking” leads to rapid emotional burnout, decreased efficiency and depression.
- Bright leisure. People prefer to spend their time outside of work on recreation. It can be spent sadly on the couch. And better - in the process of changing activities, creativity, communication, sports. During these periods a person truly rests. It’s not for nothing that they say: “the best rest is a change of activity.” Time wasted waiting for the next difficult day will be hard to bear.
- Expanding your horizons. People have very little time - work, family, everyday and household chores are distracting - life turns into a monotonous pastime. Thinking and worldview become narrow, “ossified.” A favorite activity allows you to “break away” from monotonous worries and become a little more different, a little better than yesterday.
- By doing something that brings pleasure, a person feels confident and comfortable. He is interested in talking about his activities with someone, discussing some points, in this way he receives social support and benefits from communication.
- You can only reach your full potential by doing what you love! Fatigue, irritation, and negativity reduce performance by 7 percent. Efficiency drops just as much.
