What do you call a person who loves being alone?

I love solitude, I like to think in silence, when no one is distracting.

But loneliness can bring both moments of pleasure and mortal melancholy - it all depends on our inner state. Sometimes loneliness becomes simply unbearable, and you really want a person nearby who can understand you and with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings.

Loneliness today is a fairly common problem, around which several persistent myths have developed in modern psychology. And if these myths were true, then no one would suffer from a feeling of loneliness, but would perceive it quite naturally. The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan helps to understand the true causes of loneliness and shows when it can benefit a person and when it can cause harm.

Why is there such a need?

It’s not surprising that sometimes you have a burning desire to escape from this planet to a quiet place. But doing it is not so easy. After all, misunderstanding on the part of loved ones only worsens the situation. Having declared their desire, others perceive it as a personal reproach. They begin to press you with phrases like, you don’t love me; well, that’s it, I was offended, etc. In fact, the desire for peace and quiet is connected with deeper reasons that lie inside a person, determining his character.

Without realizing the emerging need for solitude, a person begins to suffer. Psychological disorders, headaches, and lack of joy occur. If you don't give yourself a day off, you can go crazy. Everyone has the right to personal space and solitude, regardless of social status, which is quite natural. For example, let's take new mothers who often want to be alone because they are tired of the household routine, and this does not characterize them in a bad way. On the contrary, resting alone is only beneficial.

Sweet loneliness and bitterness of tears

There is another category of people who need emotions and the opportunity to love like air. Communication with other people gives them incomparable pleasure. They, like no one else, are able to build heartfelt emotional connections in the shortest possible time. Loneliness is like torture for them. System-vector psychology reveals the visual vector in them and gives a detailed description of the categories of values ​​and abilities.

Each quality requires development. The sensuality of the visual vector in its implementation is directed towards other people. Compassion and empathy for others allows you to fully reveal the entire sensory spectrum, and loneliness will significantly slow down the progress of self-realization.

But what if, for some reason, a person did not receive the necessary conditions for the formation of his quality or received psychological trauma in the past? Then the person’s attention remains focused on himself, and he is in constant fear. Insufficient realization of already developed properties is also the cause of fears and loneliness. In both cases, a person experiences fear not for another, but for himself. He does not love his neighbor, but suffers because he is not loved.

Most phobias relate to people with a visual vector. Imaginative thinking, a rich imagination with an undeveloped sensory component results in panic attacks, causeless anxiety, acute worries about what did not happen, or eternal vegetation in imaginary worlds. This condemns a person to loneliness. When faced with reality after their dreams, such people experience suffering, since the real world differs from the imaginary one, like heaven from earth. It is impossible to build harmonious relationships and truly love in such states. Hysteria, attracting attention to oneself, scandals - all this breaks emotional ties, preventing you from delving deeper into the world of your neighbor. The feeling of loneliness from one’s uselessness leads to melancholy, from which there seems to be no way out.

The situation is even more complicated with those people who combine visual and sound vectors.

Detachment from everything earthly and the simultaneous need for strong feelings can create severe mental contradictions. The desire to have nothing in common with humanity and the craving for it cause suffering. I love solitude - such people may say, but in solitude you can experience both relief and suffering.

Vegetating within four walls, we may mistakenly feel protected from the outside world. Loneliness will not judge us and will not demand anything. Loneliness can allow us to experience genius and uniqueness, because there are no people nearby with whom we can compare our properties. And when we go out into society, we do not notice and may even begin to belittle the qualities of others, protecting those illusory crumbs of our own “greatness” that our loneliness gave us. But you can deceive yourself all your life without ever knowing what reality really is.

By revealing your characteristics and the characteristics of the people around you, you can learn to build your life not like the blind - by touch, but to see existence in all its colors with a clearly visible cause-and-effect sequence. Having such a tool, you realize that loneliness does not relieve pain and does not bring you closer to revealing the secrets of the universe.

“...Pain from inner loneliness, from corroding emptiness, from the fact that no one needs you, that no one understands you, that no one can help you. It's like someone is drilling a hole in your brain. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. Even in my sleep, my brain did not turn off. I'm tired…

...Well, who can help when you are having one-on-one conversations with God: “Lord, take me away from here! Do not want to live!"? When you wait every day for his mercy and hope not to wake up...

…During the learning process, my consciousness began to clear up. The emotional state began to change. I came out of this state of vacuum, from the state of nothing, from not wanting anything. There are no more thoughts - I’m tired, I’m tired of everything, I don’t want anything. I don't let myself get stuck in my thoughts. I introduce the principle: “If you’ve done the job, think boldly!”

...The main result is, of course, a new perception of reality! All the lacks and emptiness began to be realized. As promised at the introductory lectures, the skill and ability to spontaneously enjoy life appeared! There is one more person with a SVP smile! I'm rediscovering the world! “Amazing things happen if you notice them!”

I have hope for tomorrow! And all the positive things that will happen in life can be safely attributed to the results of the training, to the results of the acquired thinking skills, because I didn’t live before the training!..”

Svetlana B., Moscow

“...It’s hard to get the sound out, but it’s MUST! Without forgiveness and extroversion, there is no fullness of life. And now with other people instead of “call again? what if you suddenly want to fuck again?! and here you go!” - “Here, as much as you want, I’ll give you more and more” - and unlimited pleasure for everyone, both for them and for me, opening up from the inside and outside...”

Asiya V., cosmetologist, Canada

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We invite you to the free nightly online training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.

Author Evgeniy Belykh

The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”

Let's talk about personality types

There are several types of people who perceive the world around them differently. Each of them has special needs. As you know, there are introverts and extroverts. And in system-vector psychology, people can be divided into four types. Each of them has its own characteristics:

• The first category includes people who love comfort and silence, who need to think about the “high” and constantly answer questions directed at themselves. If there is no such way out, it becomes possible to either disconnect from what is happening, withdrawing, or repeat more often how you want to be alone, without implying alienation from the family, but only the desire to retire and relax for a while. Such people are called sound people.
• The second type is quite emotional. He tends to be the center of attention and loves fun. Such people are called extroverts, who belong to the visual type. And if he is faced with the first option, when the moment of “influx” occurs, then a misunderstanding arises between the parties.
• The third type does not like monotony. He needs fresh impressions. Meeting the first option complements this type. However, when the phrase “I want to be alone” appears, he suspects that the relationship is losing interest, jealousy and aggression appear instead of understanding. Such people are called tactile or “skin people.”
• The fourth type combines the characteristics of extroverts and introverts. It is most difficult for them to determine their desires. After all, thoughts are chaotic and illegible, fickle, thereby causing the need to be alone, and at the same time remain in the center of events.

Is a person who likes to be alone an introvert?

But introverts are people who prefer solitude and are interested in their mental activity, and love to speculate in their spare time. They are especially drawn to philosophy and do not try to hide from real life. By completely immersing themselves in themselves, they accumulate energy.

And although it is much more difficult for an introvert than for extroverts to establish contacts with others, since he is immersed in his own inner world. He cannot be called lazy, he is simply constantly engaged in introspection. Very often, introverts become scientists and inventors, writers or philosophers.

Experts say that pure introverts or extroverts (the opposite personality type) are quite rare. Usually, a person who loves loneliness combines two psychotypes, which are determined by heredity.

Hans Jurgen Eysenck, the author of the factor theory of personality, established that the concept of “introvert” includes several types, emotionally stable or unstable, which correspond to a phlegmatic or melancholic temperament. Their introversions manifest themselves in different ways. In the first case, detachment from the outside world prevails. In the second - unnecessary worries and extreme emotional vulnerability.

A person who loves loneliness and does not like people is called a misanthrope.

Unsociability and hatred of people who experience misanthropes is a pathological psychophysiological property of their personality. At least, this is how some researchers qualify the characteristic features of this psychotype.

Due to a heightened sense of individualism, misanthropes oppose themselves to society. They are distrustful and suspicious, and also unsociable. In rare cases, misanthropy can turn into anthropophobia - fear of people. Misanthropy is common in people with mental personality disorders. They are able to maintain good relationships with individuals, of whom there are not so many in their environment.

Misanthropy can be triggered by a feeling of isolation or alienation from society, contempt for character traits that are typical of most people.

It is quite difficult to define a misanthropic character. But, in some cases, correction is possible.

Is it normal to want to be alone?

When wondering why you want to be alone, it’s worth remembering your childhood. Then, in order to limit your space from strangers, it was enough to build yourself a hut from blankets and pillows. Remember when you were alone and could indulge in your thoughts and dreams. Every person has this desire, and it is difficult to suppress. Being alone with yourself does not mean withdrawing from the world of people, becoming a hermit. It's just a necessity, like drinking water. You won't be able to endure thirst for long, will you? That's how it is in this case.

However, in adult life it is not so easy to collect your thoughts. Especially when there are problems that require immediate solutions. By giving up the desire to be alone with oneself, a person begins to suffer. He feels uncomfortable, as if there is not enough air. Therefore, you should not think that by refusing this you will make someone better. Everything will be completely different. The accumulation of negative energy will lead to an emotional explosion. You just need to explain to your loved ones that you urgently need peace.

You feel more relaxed

When we are in a relationship, we constantly analyze our behavior in certain situations because we care about our future together. We are careful not to make mistakes that could harm those close to us, and this puts additional pressure on our lives.

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Solitude significantly reduces stress and anxiety and teaches you how to better control your emotions. So, when you don't have to deal with romantic problems, you become mentally stronger and begin to feel more relaxed.

The environment you live in

The desire to be alone with oneself arises for a reason. Just think that every day you expose yourself to nervous breakdowns, which can lead to prolonged depression. You have to absorb tons of information, 80% of which simply clogs the space in your head, for example, unnecessary conversations of colleagues, gossip, etc. In addition, your comfort zone is constantly violated. If earlier people did not allow themselves to get close to a stranger, now it is considered the norm. Just one word - metro. Someone is constantly invading your space, and you tolerate it. Yes, and there is nothing to be done about it. Therefore, the desire to run away from everyone in order to collect your thoughts is normal.

Why does a person need loneliness?

Quite often people complain about loneliness, about the fact that there is no one nearby with whom they can share their lives, with whom they can talk, to whom they can open their souls. Another part of people complains about the lack of privacy, the inability to be alone, to look inside themselves. So is loneliness good or bad? Let's figure it out.

Let's start with the fact that loneliness is an absolutely normal state, characteristic not only of all people, but also of other living organisms. Even a lion (as we know, the king of beasts!) does not always recline surrounded by a harem of lionesses, but often moves away from them in order to fully enjoy his royal grandeur and... yes, loneliness. Or remember an eagle soaring in the sky - it surveys its surroundings in complete, absolute, proud solitude. Although in 50% of cases he obviously has a nest where he is welcome and where his return is eagerly awaited.

It happens that a person feels lonely after parting with loved ones, after a loved one passes away, after a break in a relationship with a loved one, after moving to another place of residence. And this is also an absolutely normal feeling. If you are worried about loneliness that has arisen for such reasons, you can safely consider the worry unnecessary. You need time to feel the loss, to grieve. You shouldn’t push your feelings deeper; now is the time for them. But you shouldn’t delay expressing them for too long. Life goes on. Take steps towards new acquaintances, open your heart to the world, do not forget to dream and wish. Everything will be alright!

However, in addition to ordinary loneliness, there is also painful loneliness, with repeating life scenarios, with fears, hopeless, hopeless. If loneliness is oppressive, if there is a feeling of emptiness around you or an abyss along the edge of which you are walking, then there is certainly some kind of problem here. It is best (and safer!) to find a way out of this situation hand in hand with a specialist, but this is a topic for a separate article.

A person needs to be alone at least sometimes in order to think about something, read an interesting book, make plans for the future, just dream and... finally understand his true desires. And believe me, to understand this, you need to look into your soul. But you cannot shout to your soul - only in solitude can a person hear its voice. To hear and feel your involvement in something greater than the usual daily bustle, to think about your path, about eternity...

Modern life is such that some of the most valuable moments are moments of silence. We are used to constantly hearing something, and this “something” often has a technocratic connotation: the muttering of televisions, the beeping of telephone buttons, SMS spam, endless “o_o” and “clack-clack” notifications of social networks, Skype, instant messengers... I I’m already silent about the fact that we live with headphones stuck in our ears. And note that this category of sounds haunts us not only in cities, but also in the countryside, in nature, at sea, and in some places even on a kayaking trip.

In cities, the symphony of electronic sounds is supplemented by the screech of the neighbor’s drill, the click of the neighbor’s heels, the rattling of the elevator doors, and what a cacophony our kind household helpers emit in everyday life: the spin of the washing machine, the clanking of the microwave, the hiss of electric coffee makers and kettles, the hum of vacuum cleaners... If Add to all this the voices of janitors talking to each other from neighboring courtyards, or the cheerful working meeting of plumbers of the housing office and others like them, then it becomes somehow scary. After all, we are never in silence at all! Constant background noise does not have the best effect on our mental state, and we don’t even think about why we are haunted by constant lack of sleep and lack of strength.

How can you hear the quiet voice of your soul, if even the singing of birds has become almost indistinguishable in the surrounding noise...

But life is full of bustle, irritation accumulates at loved ones who wander around the house and pester with their problems. There is constant mental chewing gum in my head: what you need to remember for the coming days, what you need to answer to whom if you ask again, urgent matters at work that you need to think about at home, and a thousand other little things, annoying, but seemingly important. You have to think about everything at the same time, and this is a very energy-consuming process! And it often turns out that they forgot to do something...

If you want to be healthy, calm and successful, be sure to include Loneliness in your daily routine. At least five to ten minutes, but be alone with yourself.

Difficult? Need to! Try it, you will like it, I'm sure! Wake up early, while everyone in the house is sleeping, and listen. Can you hear the silence? And in the silence - can you hear your family snoring in their sleep? And from this the soul is filled with love, and not at all with irritation. Open the curtains, the window, let the sunshine in - even if the sun is hidden behind the clouds, but it is there! Close your eyes and imagine that the sun's rays are piercing right through you, and you become glowing and light.

Listen to what's happening outside the window, maybe you'll be lucky enough to hear the morning birds chirping! Breathe in the fresh morning air, not yet poisoned by exhaust fumes. Inhale it not only through your nose, but throughout your entire skin, soak in the feeling of peace and purity of the morning world. Feel yourself alone with the Universe, feel your unity with the Universe. Think about the fact that the words “single” and “alone” mean the same thing: you are part of a huge world, and the world is a part of you, you are one, you are one whole. Let in the power of peace, let in as much energy as you need for the day ahead, let in love and joy. Think about your desires and plans. Now that you feel omnipotent, you may come to understand the best way to get what you want or achieve your plan. Imagine that everything has already happened, and how happy you will be when it all actually happens. Remember this state and remember it sometimes during the day. The time has come to act. Thank the Universe for its generous gifts and open your eyes.

Do you feel a spark of happiness within yourself? It's time to wake up your family and give your happiness to others. Now you are an accumulator of happiness and goodness for everyone who is in your life, congratulations to you! Logic dictates that you can start a chain reaction of happiness - from one to many, from each to all. (Remember Stalker from the Strugatskys? “Happiness for everyone, for free, and let no one leave offended!!!”) And it all begins only with a small short-term loneliness...

If you don't already practice meditation, then think about the fact that maybe it's time to start. After all, immersion in yourself, a quiet conversation with your “I”, the mood for the coming day - this is a kind of meditation. Start the day with silence and solitude, and you will see how much easier and calmer it will be, how much happier you and the people around you will be.

You can choose a time for “light solitude” at any time of the day, when it is more convenient for you. It is very useful to be alone while on the go. An evening walk in the park or from the metro to home, even ten to fifteen minutes long, will not only “clear your brain” after a hard day, but will also enrich you with new fresh ideas! These can be either ideas for solving some problems that are facing you, or creative insights. And to create without being in a state of loneliness is practically impossible.

There are few theaters in the world whose repertoire is complete without plays by the famous British playwright Bernard Shaw, a great expert on human souls. He appreciated the opportunity to be alone and said: “To be able to endure solitude and enjoy it is a great gift.” Appreciate your minutes or hours of solitude, it is from them that you can grow your ability to enjoy solitude. And having fun makes you happier, right?

January 2015

Tatyana Artemyeva

Such a different kind of loneliness

Sometimes people are mistaken in the correct formulation of their desires, saying that they need time to be alone. Relatives are offended without realizing it.

It is important to correctly explain what exactly you need in order to be understood. For example, your job involves constant communication. It’s understandable that when you get home you want to be silent. Just sit in silence or look out the window. And those close to you want to talk, spend time with you, etc. Don’t think that your desire to distance yourself from your loved ones is some kind of pathology or problem. Just try to explain clearly that you are tired and want to relax in silence. You will see for yourself that after a moral reboot, strength and spiritual harmony will return to you.

Sometimes a person consciously tries on the mask of a loner, suffering from it. This role has few advantages. When you isolate yourself from people, you create the impression of uselessness. When in reality everything is completely different. But the person does not see this and withdraws into himself. This condition is dangerous for psychological health.

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Why Loneliness is Necessary Author: Elena Maxi

Loneliness should be perceived as one of the very important stages in personality development.

Every soul goes through this state, otherwise it is impossible to understand and realize the fullness of life. It is loneliness that is given to a person in order to understand himself more deeply and wish for a different state. How long this stage lasts depends on many reasons, but always on the person himself. There is no need to drag out this stage and, especially, extend it throughout your life. No soul comes to Earth to live life alone.

There is no need to be afraid of this condition. Fear is the worst adviser in any situation, and especially in matters of love, building relationships between men and women. Realize the stupidity of the situation when, out of fear of being left alone, a girl gets married, that is, she will try to build love on fear. One can easily imagine that this marriage will obviously be a “marriage.”

Most often, when the conversation turns to loneliness, it means the absence of a permanent man or woman.

But this is a fairly common reason for starting a family: “Most of my classmates have already gotten married, even given birth to children, but I’m still single...” And the “panic of hopelessness” begins - every individual of the opposite sex is looked at as a potential partner, and a feverish search ensues. The psyche is at its limit, emotions are overwhelming, thoughts are running wild, you must agree that in such a situation it is impossible to make the right decision.

Here are some common self-defeating thoughts:

• I will never meet a person I love as much
• I never want to get close to a man again
• I will never get married or become a mother
• I'm too (fat, skinny, tall, short, etc.)
• It's not interesting to be with me
• I'm not very lucky
• I'm too old
• I'm too unreliable
• I'm not very smart

Understand that these urges and thoughts have put you into a period of insecurity, causing you to feel unattractive and to do things that you find unacceptable. This happens to everyone. It would be a mistake to think that this can go on forever.

Take a stand - you are who you are and if anyone reacts

at you in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself - that's his problem,

not yours. Feel anger, understand its motives, but do not humiliate yourself, do not become depressed.

Loneliness is the lack of sufficient love.

Therefore, the topic of loneliness applies to the overwhelming number of people, since majority , having lived their lives, have not revealed their greatest love. So they go through life, flowing and not showing love, occupying themselves with work, family, children, various hobbies, but being, in fact, alone. But only love truly unites, only it gives a feeling of unity.

Look how many people are trying to solve their inner loneliness by purchasing animals or going into spiritual teachings.

No self-love means no energy of attraction. After all, love is the strongest magnet. And men who devoted themselves to work, creativity, science, also stop “sounding” and become uninteresting. But it’s easier for men - there are fewer of them, so they are “dismantled” in any condition, especially if they also have money. When there is no love, money becomes the first indicator - everything else is forgiven, even the lack of sexual potency, and even more so, deep love.

Many women live with men only because they provide for them. But the problem is that they do not try to reveal their love. This is, let’s call a spade a spade, a type of prostitution, that is, selling oneself. But as life shows, money is a very unreliable magnet. And you can’t get away from loneliness with the help of money.

To solve this problem, the first thing that is necessary is not to perceive the absence of a partner nearby as loneliness - it is simply the absence of a man (or woman). We must focus on love - whether it exists or not. And perceive the lack of love as a task, the key to solving which may not be an object of the opposite sex or the creation of a couple, but first of all self-love.

Or, on the contrary, the task is that a person needs to spend some time in solitude in order to get his soul mate, and not waste energy, not force the situation, trying to be sure to find someone.

Fantasies born in solitude create an ideal. And this ideal becomes the criterion: “This is not my type of man (woman).” And for some reason the World sends the wrong person in such situations.

Often, especially now, you can meet men and women who do not want to create a couple and a family. Social and other conditions allow them to exist without each other. They already like it, and they do not want to introduce new factors into their living space that could disrupt their stability. You can understand them - they are free people and have the right to live the way they want.

Loneliness is a form of solitude. This World creates special conditions for a person to begin to communicate with himself.

Elena Maxi

Source of the article: https://www.rusarticles.com/rasstavaniya-statya/zachem-nuzhno-odinochestvo-5339878.html

About the author Elena Maxi is a philologist by training, a journalist and writer by vocation. She worked on television, hosted her own entertainment program for some time, and wrote articles on economic topics for several business publications. I am raising a charming daughter. On the site you can read my articles-reflections on the topic of gender relations and leave your comments. You can also send me suggestions and questions by email or visit my personal website lenamax.at.ua Always yours, Elena Maxi

Pros of loneliness

Whatever one may say, it also has positive sides. Although it seems at first glance that this is not so. Let's look at the benefits of being single:

• Availability of free time to reboot. When you go home from work, you can manage your time as you wish.
• If you want to be alone, it is easier to understand what you want from life. At such moments, insight can occur.
• Loneliness makes a person more focused and productive. No one will distract you, you can completely immerse yourself in your atmosphere.
• Learn to make your own decisions. You will become more confident.
• And another important advantage of loneliness is the acquisition of new values. You will learn to understand who is really needed and important in this life. Indeed, in a routine environment this is much more difficult to determine.

You save your energy

Maintaining relationships with some people can be very tiring. So, if you feel like your partner is literally draining your energy, it could be a sign that you are incompatible and it is better to be alone than to sacrifice your life.

The most important thing is to understand that there is nothing wrong with being alone. In contrast, when we avoid unnecessary individuals, we make choices and create space to attract better people into our lives. Meanwhile, you can channel your free time and energy into areas that truly interest you and simply enjoy life.

Expert advice

Psychologists believe that every person should retire for at least one hour a day. This will allow you to put your thoughts in order. If a woman wants to be alone, then she needs to correctly convey the information to her partner. Substantiate this need with facts, let’s say you’re tired of work, your colleagues are annoying you, your children have been bothering you at home all day. It is important for a man to understand that you will not be taking a break from him, but for the benefit of the whole family. And also, don’t go crazy if your lover declares the need for privacy. Give yourself the opportunity to be alone. Don't question whether he loves you, etc. Just be understanding. After all, he is the same person as you. For harmony in relationships, it is important to maintain peace of mind. Be happy in any life situation!

You don't have to sacrifice your comfort

After a hard day at work, you probably don't want to cook a delicious dinner or fight for the blanket before bed. You definitely don't like wearing the casual, tight-fitting silk lingerie that your boyfriend loves so much. Single people are protected from all these little troubles, and this helps them feel more comfortable.

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In fact, some studies have already proven that solitude is the best way to ensure a good night's rest. And, as you probably know, those who sleep well tend to have stronger immune systems, healthier hearts, and a lower risk of stroke or diabetes.

Afterword

Probably, it was precisely these character traits that shaped my range of interests (or vice versa?). Mountain hiking, love of nature, solo travel, literature, psychology. All this for me is like the work of a geologist who, thanks to his research, goes deep into the depths and finally discovers the much-desired gold.

Instead of a period and a traditional farewell, I’ll ask a question. I'm wondering if there are any of my readers who feel the same way? Please write in the comments?

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