A strong woman - what is she like?
Since ancient times, it has been believed that the position of a woman in the world is much lower than that of a man. A lot has changed since then, and modern women are trying hard to prove to everyone, and especially to men, that they are strong and independent. We began to wear trousers, drive, strive for career growth, and these are only the most obvious signs of our transformation into men.
A strong woman, first of all, is one who is confident in herself, in her loved ones and in the future, and who has millions of stars in her eyes. And it doesn’t matter where you work, what you wear, etc. Although, about what you wear, I probably exaggerated. Clothes mean a lot to a woman, especially those that make her feel authentic and desirable.
Love yourself, but don't hurt others
Many of us want to learn how to become strong, confident, and not pay attention to everything that bothers us so much. I’ll tell you a secret: it’s not that difficult, you just need desire, patience, and a little healthy egoism. Yes, yes, precisely selfishness, since it is simply vital for a woman to love herself.
It is difficult for others to love a woman who does not love herself, because she involuntarily withdraws from getting closer to people without noticing it. But this selfishness should be in moderation, there is no need to belittle others, and put yourself higher in every sense.
Love yourself, but let this love not harm the people around you, but only inspire them and make them love and respect you
Women's pride or arrogance? Signs of pride...
Every woman in the modern world is faced with the concepts of pride and arrogance...only not many can distinguish between them.
Pride means positive emotions
, associated with self-respect, self-esteem, self-esteem, self-worth, which for us women is an important component of our personality.
Pride
is
destructive emotions
associated with arrogance, arrogance, conceit and selfishness, which in turn lead to mental suffering and illness...
A woman who wants to have the “correct” feminine energy must learn to free herself from pride, but first, she must be recognized.
Let's look at the characteristic signs of pride
:
1. Manifestation of a sense of one’s own rightness and infallibility in everything (tendency to criticism, discussion, accusations, gossip).
2. Self-pity. Lack of trust in the world, constant fear, increased sense of self-importance, closedness to the outside world.
3. Attitude towards others “from high”.
4. Humiliation of others and yourself. You need to understand that the woman who has gotten rid of pride will never humiliate others and will not humiliate herself, in any situation she will remain herself.
5. The “important person” syndrome, this is where irritation arises with or without reason. If suddenly something in a woman’s life doesn’t turn out the way she wants, she can get up and leave. But this should not be done, under no circumstances, this is a manifestation of weakness. The following follows from this...
6. The importance of other people’s opinions, “the importance of what others think about me, what they say.”
7. Boasting, some women simply need to gain the approval of others in order to somehow get rid of their inferiority complex.
8. Refusal to help. A proud woman does not allow anyone to help her, thereby attracting the attention of surrounding (close) people, which makes them feel guilty and pity.
9. The desire to argue and prove that you are right. This is by no means a feminine quality, but it still happens very often; these are women who raise their voices and always want to have the last word.
10. The most important sign, in my opinion, is touchiness, inability to forgive and thank.
This manifests a reluctance to take responsibility for one’s life and a lack of understanding that everything in our lives is for a reason. Our life is the path that we must go through and life gives us what (environment, trials, etc.) that we need.
This is where trust in the world
, through which we learn
to humbly and gratefully accept everything
that happens to us in our lives.
How to get rid of pride
, you ask me? Very simple!
1. Have a desire to change
attitude towards yourself, towards your life.
2. It is necessary to re-read these points, admit to ourselves what problems we have
, and gradually
change your consciousness
on each of the points, or work through everything at once by adopting a non-judgmental and unconditional attitude towards yourself and the world around you...
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Transforming into strong women
Let's try to draw up a certain set of rules, adhering to which, any of us can become truly strong and self-confident:
- Look after yourself. Agree, when we are dressed in a beautiful dress that suits us very well, we have beautiful makeup, manicure, hairstyle, we feel very confident. So why not look like this every day? To do this, you don’t need to go to salons every day; you just need to learn how to do light makeup and hair styling.
As for clothes, stop buying things based only on their convenience, practicality, etc. Buy the clothes that make you feel attractive! There is no need to accumulate a bunch of old things in your wardrobe that have already served their purpose and lie idle - throw them in the trash, they only clog up your closet and your life
- Respect yourself. Don't let people or circumstances make you lose self-respect. Learn to calmly experience all shocks and not cry in front of strangers. Your tears should only be seen by the people closest to you, who will sympathize with you sincerely, and not rejoice at your failures
- Be indifferent to what other people say about you. Strong and confident people do not react to gossip, a truly significant opinion is the opinion of our loved ones, family, and the rest are very often just jealous!
- Strive for excellence, develop. Even if they tell you that you are perfect and they admire you, this is not a reason to stop there. Constantly improving yourself, looking for something new and exciting - all this is necessary to move forward in life.
I want to be strong - and I will be, no matter what!
- Don't live one day at a time. Even if everything is fine with you today, no one and nothing guarantees you that tomorrow will be the same. Therefore, try to live in such a way that, if tomorrow you are left with nothing, you have reserves to survive for at least one month until you solve your problems. Firstly, this concerns the material side
- Get things done. If you start doing something, do not stop halfway, be sure to bring it to the end, this will help you gain confidence in your abilities, that you can do anything
- Practice. Sport is a very good way to forget about life’s problems, improve your health and get in shape. Even if you can't go to the gym, work out at home. Dedicate at least 15-20 minutes a day to sports, and in just a month you will see positive results that will inspire you to move forward. You can also start doing yoga, this is a very good way to get in shape and gain spiritual energy.
- Learn from others' experiences. This in no way means that you should maniacally follow all the successes and failures of all the people around you; this is absolutely forbidden. But, always notice for yourself certain circumstances that led to certain results in people’s lives, and draw conclusions for yourself
- Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Of course, failure is unpleasant. But if they weren’t there, we wouldn’t get life experience. Treat failures, first of all, as good teachers who gave you invaluable life lessons.
- And most importantly, a motto that needs to be learned by heart and repeated every time it seems that everything is bad and difficult: “I want to be strong - and I will be, no matter what!”
What prevents us from becoming strong
Becoming truly strong is not so easy, especially since there are so many circumstances around that oppose it. Let's look at the factors that are the enemies of a confident woman:
- Constant self-criticism greatly reduces a woman's self-confidence. Many girls love to look for flaws in themselves and, surprisingly, they find them, even if those around them do not notice them at all. There is no need to constantly criticize yourself and look for shortcomings and disadvantages in all your actions. If they are insignificant and do not harm the final result, you can safely forget about them, or not give them any importance at all
- Excess weight is a problem for many people in our country. Especially for the female sex, it has a detrimental effect, primarily on the psyche and self-esteem. It's rare to find a woman who is overweight and happy with her appearance. So, if you are overweight, start trying to get rid of it
- Dependence on other people's opinions. Many women are afraid to change something in their lives just because they are worried about what people will say
- Consciousness of the “victim”. There are many women who believe that someone is constantly depriving them of something and offending them, and are constantly in a negative mood. Of course, with such thoughts there is no question of gaining self-confidence and that you are loved.
Let go of such thoughts, accept the love of your loved ones for you with gratitude and reciprocity, you don’t need to assume that everyone wants harm to you
Pride or pride?
March 22, 2014
How do you understand the difference between pride and pride? Pride or pride? One is considered one of the sins, the other characterizes the idea of oneself and one’s own dignity.
In religion, pride is considered one of the great sins, and priests talk a lot about this sin. Oddly enough, pride is discussed directly in psychology very little. Let us together try to figure out what pride and arrogance are.
Pride is when a person is proud not of HIMSELF, but of his own or someone else’s achievements. When a person feels proud, he understands his merits. appreciates them, but this is not something that can elevate him above others. At the same time, a person knows his own worth, but not due to the fact that he sees those around him as less than himself. His assessment of himself does not depend on others. he simply knows his own merits without comparing himself with others. He knows his worth even if he were in the desert. If a person is proud of his beautiful figure, enjoys his sense of self and at the same time understands deep inside himself that this is not 100% his merit, it is nature that generously endowed him with beautiful forms and plus gave him the opportunity to show his qualities in order to maintain what was given. Another thing is that a person within himself considers this to be HIS great merit and within himself, deeply, condemns those who “cannot pull themselves together,” who, seeing shortcomings in others, feel higher and better than them. We prepare jam from aromatic juicy berries. The jam is amazing. If we think how wonderful and “handy” we are, we will boast and treat others in order to show our abilities and hear praise - this is pride. And if we understand that nature allowed such berries to grow, plus endowed you with the talent to cook deliciously, and you are a conductor of the will of space, God, an unknown force (who believes in what), then you are proud of YOUR ABILITIES to cook deliciously. To be proud of your abilities and achievements is pride and this quality deserves respect. But if your abilities and achievements are a way to rise above others and feel deep down - But Masha cannot do that... or - Vika has not achieved what I have achieved - this is pure pride.
If we consider from a psychological point of view where pride comes from, then the beginning of this seed falls when a child feels that he is “not good enough” in comparison with another. At first, a child begins to compare himself when he becomes interested in a parent of the opposite sex. These early comparisons are implicated in jealousy of the other parent, “why does dad pay more attention to mom?” It is here that the first real jealousy and the first comparison of oneself with “OTHER” is born.
Why do little girls love to wear their mother’s clothes and use her cosmetics? She wants to be like her mom and be just as attractive to her dad. I write about girls because, due to conducting trainings for women, my focus has shifted a little to the female half. As the men guessed (they have the same thing, but with their mother).
Having younger siblings also promotes jealousy and comparing oneself to OTHERS. When more attention is paid to a younger child or someone else, the child begins to think: “Why is the other better than him?” And he is already sure that the “other” is better, because he gets more attention. And this – “BEING the best” becomes his great desire. The “matryoshka effect” comes into play; a small, nondescript nesting doll must be hidden far, far away under other nesting dolls. The larger the nesting doll is outside, the more difficult it is to reach and see the small one... So a person, trying to hide his “lack of goodness”, and sometimes inferiority, strives to succeed in life and become better than others. You lose contact with yourself, putting on one mask after another, which are compensations for completely different qualities and feelings. Growing up, we all continue to feel the desire to be the best, to be better in front of ourselves, loved ones, friends, at work. Over time, achieving results, many of us begin to be proud of OURSELVES, not of the results, but of OURSELVES, considering everything they have to be their merit and completely forget that we are only part of this world. An unknown force controls us and the universe, and life gives us opportunities, and an invisible hand guides us to these opportunities. We feel it, act and get results, or we don’t hear or feel it, and we fail. Of course, a certain amount of hard work and many other qualities are our merit, but only a merit, but not ourselves... Achieving certain results and achievements, self-confidence appears and hence the desire to command and control. There is a feeling that if you don’t intervene and control, it won’t be done as it should. Because only “I” can do everything well, no one else has such abilities. If something doesn't go as we planned, it causes irritation and anger.
Pride is the desire to excel others, hence the inability to accept help from others. Acceptance means admitting to others your weakness, which equates to humiliation. People stop hearing themselves, lose touch with their “I”, stop hearing and feeling other people, a wall grows between them and others and a person feels deep loneliness within himself, although he may be among people. It becomes like a lonely castle standing high in the mountains, overlooking a huge abyss and a vast ocean. This wall arises between who we “want to be and seem to be” and that part that we have to keep away all the time, a wall between people and ourselves, not to let close to ourselves, to our heart, because there is a danger that another will see what which is carefully hidden inside.
Pride is a deep confidence in one’s superiority and the other side of the coin is a deep feeling of one’s insignificance. Symptoms of pride:
- focusing on the opinions and attention of others, - thirst for praise, - an evaluative position in everything, - it is difficult to ask for forgiveness, - condemnation of others, - not accepting the shortcomings of other people and your own, - verbosity. When a person talks a lot, at that moment he revels and enjoys himself. The more success a person achieves, the more pride manifests itself. The path to healing. Recognize that you have pride and begin to monitor every day how and when your pride manifests itself. The only cure for pride is tolerance and patience with others and yourself. Only patience is not from the category of “stupid patience”, but conscious, which is born from love and acceptance of oneself and, accordingly, another person. How to recognize pride in yourself? To the question: “How to recognize pride in yourself?” — Jacob, Archbishop of Nizhny Novgorod, writes the following:
“To understand and feel it, notice how you feel when those around you do something not your way, against your will. If what is born in you first of all is not the thought of meekly correcting a mistake made by others, but displeasure and anger, then know that you are proud and deeply proud. If even the slightest failures in your affairs sadden you and cause boredom and burden, etc. and the thought of God’s Providence participating in our affairs does not amuse you, then know that you are proud and deeply proud. If you are hot to your own needs and cold to the needs of others, then know that you are proud and deeply proud. If, at the sight of the troubles of others, even your enemies, you feel happy, and at the sight of the unexpected happiness of your neighbors you feel sad, then know that you are proud and deeply proud. If modest remarks about your shortcomings are offensive to you, and praise about your unprecedented merits is pleasant and delightful for you, then know that you are proud and deeply proud.” What else can you add to these signs to recognize pride in yourself? Is it just that if a person is attacked by fear, then this is also a sign of pride. Saint John Climacus writes about it this way: “A proud soul is a slave of fear; trusting in herself, she is afraid of the faint sound of creatures, and the shadows themselves.” And he also writes: “The image of extreme pride is that a person, for the sake of glory, hypocritically shows virtues that he does not have.”
In pride there is no comparison with others. Pride knows about its own virtues without others. Pride is always a conscious, and sometimes unconscious, comparison of oneself with others. And always compare in favor of yourself. A high self-image comes from comparing yourself to others and understanding that others are worse. Against the background of belittling the merits of other people, your own merits increase in size.
Irina Gavrilova Dempsey
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Category: Psychology of relationships
Finishing touches
My dear women! This article of mine is a call to all of you to stop worrying about trifles and become self-confident, strong and courageous. Remember that we have one life, and we need to live it in such a way that in old age there is something to remember, and for this, first of all, self-confidence is necessary.
I really hope that after reading my article, you will be inspired to achieve things and want to change something in your life, of course, for the better.
If you want to study this topic in more depth, I offer you an excellent guide, which I myself read in one sitting, a book that many women around the world were waiting for. This is the book “Money is good for women” by Bodo Schäfer and Carola Ferstl. It describes how financial independence affects a woman and how it can be achieved.
If you remember, in the article I already noted that material wealth is one of the most important factors that provides a woman with self-confidence
And finally
Summing up the results of my work, I want to once again urge everyone: strive to be strong, believe me, it’s great! Having become much more confident in yourself, you understand that life is completely different, interesting, fascinating and mysterious. You just need to be open to her, don’t be afraid to show yourself as real, strong and confident.
By following my advice, after a while you will notice how your life changes for the better and takes on bright colors.
I will be incredibly happy if my article helps at least a few girls and women change their lives for the better. Therefore, my dears, I am waiting for your comments on whether my advice helped you and what they helped change in your life.
Read my works, rate, comment, share on social networks with your friends and acquaintances. Let more people know how to make a breakthrough in their own lives.
Good luck to you in all your endeavors, don’t be afraid to take risks, because the ability to take risks is already a huge step towards gaining self-confidence. Be happy!
Male pride
There are probably men in the world who know how to admit their mistakes to women. However, most representatives of the stronger sex are too proud to say the cherished “Sorry, I was wrong.” Is it really that difficult? Will the heavens fall to earth because of this?
The readiness to fight with the woman you love is sometimes simply amazing in its scale. For a man to take the first step to use it is a sign of weakness. Like, look, I didn’t run, I didn’t humiliate myself!
In fact, guys, this is how you humiliate your wives, girlfriends, and girlfriends. These words are important to us. They are like an elixir that helps heal wounds in the soul. Your indifference is destructive. A small crack in the soul creates a huge hole. We worry, suffer, think and cry. When all these stages end, indifference sets in. Because the realization comes that you are not needed and not important to this man if he is proud enough to hug you and say a simple “sorry.”
This one word, spoken at the right time, has so much healing power. You guys have no idea. Then they will no longer be needed. While you are hesitating, your beloved has already gone through sooo much in her thoughts that it will be difficult for you to even imagine. Although there is no way to recognize it externally.
Detachment, silence, does not look into the eyes. It's almost the edge. She's about to slam the door. She has made a decision, she is waiting for now. She is waiting for this step from you, which will prove that she is needed and loved. After all, stepping over your pride for her sake is not so difficult if SHE is really important in your life.
Do not say “thank you”, believing that she should and is obliged to do what she does. Cleaning, cooking, children, in general - housekeeping. I'm not saying that you should kiss your woman's feet (although in some cases it wouldn't hurt). A woman expects a response in kind and warm words. She needs it, it's her fuel. Don't downplay the importance of her work. It doesn’t seem to be noticeable in appearance, what she did all day, and then she was so tired. Try it yourself, it’s easy in words only.
It’s easy to discuss and condemn a woman’s behavior without seeing any sins behind her. Almost every “offended” man is sure that he is a good woman, this woman is so-and-so.
So what? Just think, clean up, iron, cook, run after the children, but at the same time be beautiful and nod with a satisfied look. Be happy that you, my dear, got such a male. Otherwise, he will leave! He will find someone better than you, because he is proud.
In general, guys, guys, men, men! Love your girls, wives, women. They need you so much! Sometimes you can put your pride on the shelf and take off the mask of indifference to show her, your beloved, that you are not a stone.
We women are very emotional creatures. We need care and a feeling of security and support. And if you fight with us, stick to your line, you will not encounter anything except insults and aggression. Remember that tender feelings are not born from anger. And with your arrogance you are unlikely to improve the relationship. Love, forgive, negotiate.
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