It was Carl Gustav Jung who explained one of the most famous theories about the psychosexual development of girls: the Electra complex. The Swiss psychologist was inspired by the history and symbolism of the Greek myth of Electra.
Electra was the daughter of the king of Mycenae. Together with her brother Orestes, she devised an elaborate plan to avenge her father's death. This included the murder of her own mother and her mother's lover.
The pendulum of the mind alternates between meaning and nonsense, and not between good and evil.
Carl Gustav Jung
Development of the complex
As already mentioned, many experts today do not distinguish between a similar complex in boys and girls, but the pathology still has different causes.
In most cases, the child initially experiences the same attitude towards mother and father, the turning point usually occurs at the age of 4-6 years.
This is due to the awareness of the absence of male sexual characteristics, which leads to a certain shock that can provoke corresponding deviations in the psyche.
This leads to the development of feelings of envy towards the owners of the male genital organ and a feeling of its lack in oneself.
At the initial stage, the Electra complex awakens interest in the genital organs of representatives of the opposite sex, their structure and peculiarities of functioning. If there are discussions about this issue with other children, parents should be vigilant, as this indicates the beginning of the development of a deviation.
If this point is left without due attention, over time it can lead to the complete suppression of the feminine essence and the development of a number of complexes based on the feeling of imperfection of one’s own body. It is for this reason that a girl with the complex in question is inclined to idealize her own father, since he is the owner of the penis she is missing.
During puberty, this can lead to a certain sexual desire. At this stage, a negative attitude towards the mother usually arises, since she is seen as the main competitor with similar anatomical features. Accusations often arise that she was born without a penis, and this leads to a desire for revenge and physical disposal of her rival.
The inability to realize one’s experiences and lack of understanding on the part of others contributes to the growth of psychosis and the development of suicidal thoughts. However, even in the absence of such manifestations of the complex, it is capable of causing irreparable damage, negatively affecting the formation of a character in which feminine traits will be absent. Most girls are unable to completely get rid of pathology, which contributes to the development of more serious deviations that are psychopathic in nature.
Electra woman
In the psychology of women, the Electra complex is considered one of the normal stages of psycho-emotional development. But if for one reason or another it was not possible to cope with it in childhood, it can have a serious negative impact on a woman’s adult life.
A girl or woman with an Electra complex seems to have remained in adolescence, and it does not matter how old she really is. Due to unresolved problems with her father, she cannot build normal relationships with men and is often unable to find her place in life. At the same time, Electra blames her mother for all her problems and subconsciously expects a miraculous salvation. Women with a complex look quite confident in themselves, love to compete with men and often even choose male professions. But behind this confidence lies a little girl who is waiting for someone like her dad to come and deal with all the troubles for her.
The role of parents in the development of the complex
Parental divorce is one of the main factors that can contribute to the occurrence of this deviation. This happens especially often when a man leaves the family, when the child receives only female upbringing.
The lack of funds to fully support the family can also lead to irritability of the mother and a change in her attitude towards her own child. Until adolescence, this usually does not have noticeable consequences, but a growing girl can very often show an aggressive response. At the same time, she will increasingly take her father’s side and seek his protection and understanding.
Minimizing contact between the father and the girl after a divorce leads to a worsening of the current situation and accelerated progression of the disease. Their meetings in most cases are positive in nature and make up for the lack of emotions, but if they occur contrary to the wishes of the mother, then this strengthens the negative attitude towards her.
Lack of attention and education from the mother also provokes the accelerated development of the Electra complex, as the girl loses the last vestiges of respect. Without experiencing positive emotions from such communication, the girl gradually begins to see not her mother, but only a servant or competitor.
In a number of cases, a negative impact of the father on the process of forming a woman’s character is noted, most often this occurs due to too paranoid care.
Prohibitions on using cosmetics, buying bright clothes, or communicating with young people in most cases are the result of fears that strangers may see the same qualities in the girl and feel the same attraction as him. Such care only entails negative consequences, which are expressed in the development of various complexes and loss of natural femininity.
Sometimes a father may realize that he is wrong and suddenly change his tactics, pushing his daughter away from him and giving her complete freedom and independence. This is a very common mistake, since sudden changes lead to a certain amount of stress and the inability to correctly determine one’s own response order. Many girls become fixated on this, making numerous attempts to understand and explain their father’s behavior, while they try to find the main reason in themselves. This leads to the fact that, in parallel with the complex, they begin to develop a feeling of their own inferiority.
The Myth of Electra
According to ancient Greek mythology, the beautiful young maiden Electra adored her father named Agamemnon. When Agamemnon passed away, the daughter was never able to come to terms with this event. And the heroine decided to take revenge: together with her brother, she planned and carried out the murder of her own mother and her lover, whom she considered guilty of the death of her parent.
It was this myth that was taken as a basis by Sigmund Freud’s student, psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung, when describing the female version of the Oedipus complex. True, it is worth noting that Freud himself protested against the introduction of this name and believed that the term “Oedipus complex”, which he had already created, was quite sufficient.
Complex in adult girls
At a certain point, mature girls may develop an idea of the correctness of building relationships with the opposite sex, which has nothing to do with reality.
This usually occurs immediately after puberty or sexual experience. This leads to the development of the Electra complex in adulthood, while the girl will give the impression of independence and having a strong character, which is a false external manifestation.
She usually needs increased attention from the opposite sex, while all her men in the vast majority of cases have certain similarities with their father. Attempts to achieve a chosen one who does not provide mutual attention can gradually develop into mania.
There is a pattern that in most situations their chosen ones are strong and independent men who are not really ready for a serious relationship and cannot appreciate their femininity. Adult girls and women most often choose male professions, both during the learning process and subsequent career building.
Very often they choose an occupation that is close to the field in which their father works. This is due to a violation of the formation of female character and the predominance of male-type thinking. For the same reason, their social circle consists mostly of male representatives.
Adult women with such a deviation in most cases get married after 30 years or do not do so at all. At the same time, there is a pattern that their chosen one is actually always much older, and is also distinguished by financial well-being or occupies influential positions.
Electra complex in adult girls
Who is Electra and where does she get her complex?
In psychology they like to identify all discovered phenomena with something mystical and call them after the heroes of ancient Greek myths. This could not be avoided here either.
Once upon a time there lived a girl named Electra in the family of the hero of the Iliad, King Agamemnon, in her father’s love and affection, she idolized her parent and did not know troubles until he went to the Trojan War. The princess's carefree life ended there. A ten-year separation from her beloved parent left a mark on her soul and further idealized the male image, and the death of her father at the hands of her own mother became the starting point when a mature teenager decides to take revenge.
She persuades her brother to kill her guilty mother, but her father’s death forever cemented the image of an ideal man, irreparable in reality - that same loving native protector.
The complex came from myth and took root in modern psychology thanks to Freud’s student (oh, that Freud!) Carl Jung, who spoke about the female phenomenon in 1913. Like the boyish Oedipus complex we discussed not long ago, the Electro complex owes its strong attachment to the parent of the opposite sex.
How to get rid of the Electra complex?
Today, there are many methods for getting rid of the Electra complex; their choice is made depending on the age of the girl with this deviation. Usually, just a few sessions with a psychotherapist or psychoanalyst are enough, who is able to convey to the patient the essence of her problem and give general recommendations.
However, many girls independently feel the existing problem and want to get rid of it; to do this, you can use the following recommendations:
- Initially, you need to come to terms with and realize the impossibility of being near your father. At the same time, you should not make this a secret from the people around you; you need to discuss your feelings and experiences without hiding your emotions.
- You need to realize that the father is not an ideal, he is an ordinary person who has positive and negative character traits, and there are also issues in which he is wrong.
- It is necessary to realize your own femininity and its positive sides.
- Reconsider the history of your relationship with your mother and understand that you have much more in common with her than with your father.
- It is recommended that you read examples and stories of other women who have been able to suppress and completely get rid of the Electra complex, as this has a tremendous motivating effect.
To summarize, we can give the following recommendations that will prevent the formation of an Electra complex in a girl in early childhood:
- A father is obliged to pay attention to his daughter and participate in her upbringing.
- The family should have a favorable microclimate, and there should be no scandals, especially related to the issue of raising children.
- The girl should completely lack feelings of envy towards the relationships between the parents of her peers.
- The father must show attention to his wife and daughter, excluding any rudeness, and the mother must maintain her femininity. It is necessary to pay attention to the fact that the daughter loves and respects her father, but does not idealize him.
What is the “good girl” complex?
Most psychological problems have their beginning in early childhood, at a time when a person himself is not aware of them. Painful experiences, memories, events, it would seem, were safely forgotten. But in the future, most of them will appear and will definitely remind you of themselves: anxiety, suspiciousness, low self-esteem, problems with communication, etc. Naturally, this does not mean that every adult has problems. But almost all people have their own “psychological” skeletons in the closet.
The “good girl” (boy) complex or syndrome is no exception. It follows many of us throughout our lives. This is an internal state of eternal readiness to act according to the expectations and demands of others, sometimes contrary to one’s own goals and desires. It is instilled by the closest people, those who represent the greatest authority for the child. By building an image to strive for, parents set a direction for movement. They create frames and boundaries that cannot be crossed. By following the rules and recommendations, the child receives praise, care, and love in return. And the idea is becoming more and more established that if they try to leave all this and take up personal plans, mom and dad will be disappointed. This means they will stop loving.
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Nancy Kater “The Electra Complex in the Psychology of Women” (LENAND, 2014).
A girl who lost her father at an early age and for many years unwittingly idealizes him. A daughter who continues to rebel against her mother even after her youth is over. A teenage girl who is more attracted to dreams of boys than to actual relationships. A woman who cannot realize herself in the profession...
Many of those girls and women who are close to such styles of behavior live out the myth of Electra in their lives, says Jungian psychologist Nancy Kater, author of the study “The Electra Complex in the Psychology of Women” *. What archetypal situations, recognizable in modern families, does this myth describe?
Psychological incest with father
The legends about Electra have different interpretations - most notably, the tragedies of Aeschylus, Euripides and Seneca. The essence of the conflict can be represented in this way: first, Clytemnestra - the mother of Electra and Orestes - in alliance with her lover Aegisthus, kills Agamemnon, her husband. Years pass, Orestes and Electra grow up and decide to avenge their father: Orestes, led by his sister, kills his mother and Aegisthus.
Taking a closer look at this story, let us pay attention to the story of a girl who is acutely experiencing the loss of her beloved father.
Until about the age of six, Electra lived as a princess in a palace in Mycenae with her father Agamemnon, a powerful king. She grew up as a “daddy’s girl,” a favorite. It can be assumed that little Electra already idolized her father. Later, during the ten-year absence of her father, who went to the Trojan War, her desire for idealization intensifies. And the death of Agamemnon at the hands of Clytemnestra forces Electra to forever fix the ideal image of a courageous, loving, protective father - an image that can no longer be corrected in reality.
“If at first a positive fantasy about a father helps a woman, giving her a sense of hope,” explains Nancy Cater, “then over time it becomes destructive because it does not allow her to move on with her life. A woman lives only in her imagination, without having a real relationship. She has no energy left to follow her own destiny.”
Broken mother image
The “Electra complex” is precisely a complex of feelings, internal conflicts and experiences that cannot be reduced only to the idealization of the father. Another facet of it is a broken relationship with one’s body and one’s own sexuality, the reason for which is Electra’s difficult relationship with her domineering mother, Clytemnestra. The mother does not share the grief of her daughter who has lost her father; moreover, she devalues her loss in every way.
“Clytemnestra combines the negative aspects of the maternal archetype in Electra,” says Nancy Cater. – An absorbing mother does not allow her daughter to grow, develop personally, or experience joy, creativity, or freedom. More fundamentally, she denies her daughter’s uniqueness and individuality.” It is especially important that a negative maternal image disrupts Electra’s connection with her feminine “I”, with her sexuality.
Electra complex
The term “Electra complex” was coined by Carl Gustav Jung. In The Theory of Psychoanalysis (1913), he proposed that it be used to describe the oedipal stage of development in girls—the stage in which a 3- to 6-year-old daughter “develops a special attachment to her father with a corresponding jealousy toward her mother.”
Portrait of a modern Electra
A portrait of Electra from Nancy Cater's point of view is as follows. This woman is psychologically stuck in adolescence due to her unresolved relationship with her father. She continues to grieve for him many years later and cannot find her place in the outside world. She identifies with the role of the victim, blaming her mother for all her problems. She projects her power onto men (primarily her father and brother, Orestes) and is unable to act: she simply waits for her brother to come and save her. At the same time, she unconsciously has an inflated opinion of herself as a princess.
The myth of Electra is lived by many women and girls today. The loss of a father is not only about death, but about the departure of a father, divorce, is a common occurrence in our world. It becomes traumatizing for both mother and daughter. A mother who cannot cope with the loss (is angry at her ex-husband, blames him, or suppresses her love for him) will have difficulty tolerating the behavior of her daughter, who continues to demonstrate her love for her father. As a result, the mother becomes closed to her feelings. Their mutual misunderstanding strengthens the mother's new marriage (which the daughter may perceive as a betrayal towards her father and towards her).
Feeling isolated, a girl may retreat into a fantasy world populated by heroic male figures. She will dream that one day one of these heroes, like her father, will come and save her from life with her mother. In the future, such a psychologically incestuous relationship with an ideal father can complicate her sexual relationships with men. Having matured, modern Electra may also experience difficulties in finding her own professional path. And not only because of depression and reluctance to act. If her domineering mother is successful in her career, the daughter may refuse to realize herself in the profession in order to avoid comparison with her mother.
Find your way out
Young women who recognize themselves in this story should not be trapped in myth, insists Nancy Cater. She formulates tasks, the solution of which will help to go beyond the myth and become freer. Here are some of them:
- Say goodbye to your father. In order to complete the grieving process, the modern Electra must get in touch with her anger at her father for abandoning her. Anger plays an important role in the grieving process, and refusing to acknowledge it only prolongs the process. Once she can openly express the feelings of anger and abandonment that are suppressed by the idealized image of her father, she will be able to accept her loss and move on.
- Separate the real father from the ideal image. Electra may become aware of her father's shadowy, negative traits after he leaves relatives, family friends, or other people. However, there is a possibility that she will still be attached to the idealized image of her father. Therefore, the modern Electra can work through this issue indirectly through her subsequent relationships with men.
- Restore your relationship with your animus. Electra women project their animus (the male part of the female psyche) onto men. It is important to determine what these traits are (for example, the ability to set goals, make decisions, take actions) and develop them in yourself. Once these projections are returned, psychic energy is released and the woman can become stronger, more responsible, and ready to find her own path in life.
- Discover your femininity. Modern Electra will have to reconsider her relationship with her mother, admit that she and she are in many ways similar to each other, try to see positive traits in her and restore the connection. What to do if the relationship is irretrievably broken? Fortunately, the positive mother archetype exists within our psyche. The Electra woman can reconnect with him in various ways. Positive mother figures may appear in her dreams, and she may also interact with him through her relationships with other women - teachers and friends.
Nancy Kater is convinced that recognizing a myth allows us not only to better understand our own experiences, but also to take the first steps towards liberation from its unconscious power.
