Emotions exist to be expressed. Emotions are born within us and are expressed through us. Thanks to emotions, we experience joy and happiness, anger and despondency; all the bright events of our life are always accompanied by emotions.
If a person does not express his emotions, then he suppresses them within himself. If this does not happen often, then nothing terrible will happen, but if the suppression of negative emotions becomes the norm and happens every day, then this situation can lead to irreversible processes in the form of serious diseases.
Reasons for suppressing emotions
There are enough reasons why people suppress their emotions, and these can be not only negative, but also positive emotions.
The most common reasons are:
- Fear is the most common and powerful human emotion. A person is afraid of appearing not too good in the eyes of those around him, he is afraid of condemnation from others and loss of respect.
- Lack of self-confidence does not allow a person to sincerely express even positive, bright emotions, because he cannot afford to show everyone his joy.
- Family rules very often limit the expression of emotions . There are families where children are told from childhood that they must be quiet, cannot laugh in public, cannot argue with elders, etc.
Of course, there are situations where it is even necessary to suppress emotions, for example, due to the norms of decency, but this should not happen often. In most cases, it is necessary to express your emotions, otherwise they will simply strangle a person from the inside.
Signs of emotional instability
Individuals with an unstable emotional state are characterized by the following characteristics:
- Impulsivity in actions without considering the consequences;
- Inability to realistically assess the situation and plan your actions;
- Excessive physical activity, restlessness;
- Mood instability, gloominess gives way to excitability and aggression, and then again to a depressed, withdrawn state;
- Tendency to aggression, even physical violence;
- Difficulties in communication, especially in family and work.
- Complete confidence in one’s own rightness, non-acceptance of other people’s opinions;
- The desire to lead and dominate, to subjugate others;
- Grudge and vindictiveness;
- Possible sexual promiscuity and promiscuous sex life;
- Craving for alcohol, narcotic and psychotropic substances.
This deviation is observed more often in women than in men.
Consequences of regularly suppressing emotions
Psychosomatic illnesses are a sure result of regular suppression of emotions. Sometimes a person gets so used to suppressing emotions in himself that when he needs to relax and give free rein to his emotions, he simply cannot do this, because everything inside is petrified.
Nervous breakdowns are inevitable when a person does not express his emotions for a long time, but keeps them to himself. Sooner or later the cup overflows and bursts out. This is the best option to protect yourself from diseases.
Cardiovascular diseases are very common in people who are accustomed to restraining positive emotions within themselves. There is even a theory that heart disease is caused by a lack of love, “did not love,” that is, did not express the positive emotions of love and happiness.
Chronic fatigue syndrome, one of the consequences of suppressing emotions in connection with career growth, when there is no opportunity to express a true opinion to a business partner, work colleagues, etc.
We all come into the world with love and for love, so we must learn to enjoy life and express our emotions, whatever they may be. And if there is no way to express negative emotions directly, then there are enough ways to express them in sports, through breathing exercises, shopping or sex. And the best thing is to be open, kind, attentive and sincere in order to always remain healthy and happy.
How does increased emotionality manifest itself throughout life?
The first signs of emotional instability appear in early childhood. The child does not obey, is capricious for no particular reason, is aggressive and even hostile towards his parents. In kindergarten, he treats teachers with disrespect, does not find a common language with other children, is pugnacious and restless. At school, such children show poor performance due to the fact that they cannot concentrate, maintain their attention on the subject for a long time, they are simply not interested.
In adulthood, they also find it difficult to adapt to everyday life: problems in the work team and poor relations with superiors. Frequent changes of activity, such people “rush” from one extreme to another. Their personal life is unstable: constant quarrels and scandals, screaming and broken dishes, even assault. It is simply unbearable to be around such a person, let alone conduct constructive joint activities.
Types of unstable emotional disorder:
- Impulsive type
- Border type
The first type is characterized by increased emotional and physical activity and excitability. This is a more acute form of emotional distress. People of the impulsive type are prone to hysterics, scandals, screaming, and unmotivated aggressive behavior. When contacting other people, they try to take a leading, dominant position in order to suppress and subjugate the other. This is their way of controlling what is happening. They do not know how to compromise and listen to others. This behavior leads to conflicts in professional activities and personal life.
Moreover, if nothing is done about this disorder, it will only progress and get worse over time. This is due to a chaotic lifestyle, constant conflicts at home and at work. Addiction to addictions (alcohol, drugs, sexual promiscuity). With their help, a person tries to isolate himself from real life. After all, he believes that he is completely right, and the world and other people are wrong, mistaken, and do not understand him. This is the main reason for this behavior: when a person is not understood and accepted, he begins to behave provocatively, attracting attention, and trying to prove his “I”.
Borderline emotional disorder includes people with the following characteristics:
- increased impressionability, emotionality;
- easy suggestibility on the part of other people;
- an overly developed imagination that prevents you from really perceiving and assessing what is happening;
- affective lability or increased emotional reactivity, i.e. the person reacts inappropriately and vividly to what is happening;
- high activity of cognitive (cognitive) processes.
Children with this disorder are very impressionable, they are easy to influence with the help of emotions, to win over to their side, to impose any opinion. Such people quickly and easily become attached to another person, up to several days or even hours. Very gullible and frivolous. Then they suffer disappointment and pain.
They often demonstrate their over-attachment and dependence on others. They can use suicide blackmail. However, they themselves are quite inconsistent and flighty, they cannot maintain long-term relationships with anyone, their sphere of interests is constantly changing. Due to the fact that they are very impressionable and gullible, when they fall into “bad company” they quickly degrade and become drunkards. Having fairly good intellectual abilities, they do not achieve success due to the fact that they do not finish what they start. As quickly as they become captivated by something, they also quickly lose interest.
Sadness
If sadness comes to you, old woman in black, do not drive it away. Sit her down and listen to what she has to tell you
K. G. Jung
This feeling arises when not everything is going well in a person’s life. Sadness is dangerous because it can lead to depression. At the same time, it is a great impetus for change. Sadness allows you to stop and rethink many moments in life. This interpretation of this emotion has a positive effect.
In order not to drown in sadness, you need to understand that it will not last forever. Eventually she will retreat, and then the white streak will begin. You just need to endure it and start changing something.
Protection mechanism
If we mean a defense mechanism, then we need to turn to psychoanalysis. Suppression is expressed in blocking unpleasant information by transferring it from consciousness to the unconscious area, where its activity decreases.
The traumatic event and the emotions associated with it are excluded from consciousness, but can return at any time. In this case, suppressed information can manifest itself in the form of slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue, obsessive movements and states, and its very content is forgotten.
Repression is similar to repression, but there are several important differences between the two. So, the first is a completely conscious action, but the second is the result of the work of the unconscious. Repression is a more complex, deep process, and suppression, in comparison, is simplified. When repressed, as a rule, what is forgotten is not the action itself and the emotions accompanying it, but its reason, the motive.
If suppression becomes the leading defense mechanism, then depression may develop as its extreme manifestation. Individuals who are accustomed to using this mechanism are usually obligatory, precise, and sensitive to ethical issues.
Fear
This emotion is basic. Without it, a person will commit actions that threaten life. However, at present there are not many threats to life, so fear is not always appropriate. It limits actions and does not allow development. The following steps will help you get rid of fear:
- Accepting fear. Without this, you won't be able to get rid of it.
- Answers to meta-questions. They will allow you to realize the destructiveness of this emotion.
- Action despite fear. Only by facing your phobia can you overcome it.
Basic ways to control emotions
There are three main techniques to help cope with negative emotions. They apply equally to all their types. However, these methods will require introspection and attention to your emotional processes.
Give a name
This technique is called marking. To implement it, you need to learn to notice the approach of a negative reaction. Without this, you won't be able to do everything on time.
The next step is to define the sensations that arise. You can use any words, so you don’t have to understand exactly what emotion you are experiencing.
This method works as follows. The limbic system of the brain is responsible for human emotions, and the frontal cortex is responsible for coming up with words and thinking. Between themselves, these two systems are antagonists. This means that the work of one mechanism (the frontal cortex) turns off the action of another (the limbic system). Therefore, the emotional response becomes less pronounced.
Overestimate
Reappraisal gets rid of negativity by changing a person’s attitude towards the situation. This method is deeper and therefore requires a high level of awareness and introspection. There are several types of revaluation:
- Firstly, you can reduce the negative connotation of the event. For example, if you feel fear, you can convince yourself that there is no strong threat.
- Secondly, accept your reaction as the norm. For example, being afraid in a dangerous situation is an absolutely adequate reaction of the body. Without fear, humanity would die out.
- Thirdly, look at the situation from the perspective of another person or a third party. This way the reaction becomes more thoughtful and objective.
Ask meta questions
Meta-questions help activate thought processes and find new ways to solve situations. A person asks them to himself. The mechanism is also associated with the activity of the prefrontal cortex. Here are some questions you can use:
- “What was the trigger for this emotion?”
- “What is the purpose of this experience?”
- “Can we get some use out of it?”
- “Which emotion would be more useful in this situation?”
- “How to create this new reaction?”
In addition to general ways to control emotions and get rid of them, there are also special cases. They apply to a specific experience. Therefore, it is worth considering some emotions in more detail.
Where to begin?
The first step towards the complex process of mastering one’s own feelings can be to comprehend the fact that our emotions are our problems, or rather, a reflection of our problems. We react painfully only in cases where our “sore spot” is touched. It is necessary to move from “he infuriates me (offends me, hurts me on purpose)” to understanding that “it’s me who’s nervous (yelling, getting offended, swearing, and so on).” It is important to understand why exactly these words or actions caused negative experiences. Hear yourself. Only the feeling of one’s own feelings and personal responsibility for them creates the basis for control over emotions. After all, it is impossible to defeat something if you do not know what it is and where it comes from.
