Children run away from home. What is the reason and what should parents do

Possible reasons

The problem of children running away is actually quite common. If you believe the statistics, it turns out that about 50% of families are faced with a child leaving home.

Parents are almost always sure that the child has no objective reasons for running away, that his friends advised him to do this, or that in this way he is trying to manipulate relatives.

Frankly speaking, it is a rare parent who is ready not to think about childhood experiences as something far-fetched and imaginary. Adults believe that if some difficulty arises, they should make an effort and solve it. However, children have a completely different approach; it is much easier for them to run away from their problem. Escaping from home in this case is a response to external stimuli.

Psychologists classify children's escapes into two types: motivated and unmotivated. The first type includes:

Violence in family. If parents do not shy away from physical or psychological violence against a child, regularly punish, shout, scold, then by their actions they turn him against themselves. The child may feel resentment, confusion and anger, and in the future he will only have one desire - to make it as painful as possible.
Overprotection. Some parents try to control every step of their child. They do not allow him to be independent, limit his communication with friends and are very critical of the choice of interlocutors. A child's attempts to escape from the suffocating care of his parents are almost always doomed to failure. As a result, one day the child simply runs out of patience and runs away.
Hypoprotection is expressed in a lack of attention from parents. If mom and dad constantly brush off the child, using the excuse of being busy, then the child begins to doubt their love. Over time, he becomes more and more convinced that his parents do not need him and decides to leave home so as not to disturb them.
Authoritarian parenting. Some parents perceive the child solely as an addition to themselves. They make plans for his future life, decide where he will study, where he should go to work. Such children, in principle, have no right to choose; their opinion does not arouse interest among adults.
Wrong company. The peers around him play a significant role in making important decisions for a child. If friends are a destructive company, then the child may succumb to prodding and persuasion and leave home. Most often, such an action is aimed at proving to others one’s importance and independence.

When it comes to unmotivated reasons, we mean a child’s attempts to manipulate adults or a simple attempt to get rid of boredom by getting involved in some kind of adventure.

The most important

The most important thing is to have documents with you. Be sure to take a passport, birth certificate, medical insurance or international passport. Absolutely all important papers must be taken with you. It must be remembered that only their owner can use such things. No one has the right to take them for themselves. If parents start hiding or taking them away, then you can try to intimidate them with the police. In any case, if you are kicked out of your home, you must take the documents with you.

You should also be sure to keep a bag or cosmetic bag ready if family circumstances become tense.

What to do if a child runs away from home?

If a child does run away from home, then the very first thing parents should do is calm down and pull themselves together. Do not commit rash and senseless actions; it is better to listen to the advice of psychologists:

Reason for escape. Before you rush out and look for your child, try to understand what exactly caused him to leave. Remember whether the child spoke about his desire to leave and, if so, in the context of what event this statement was made.
Inspection of the living area. Walk around the apartment and look carefully, perhaps your young fugitive left a note explaining his actions. In any case, it is necessary to understand what things were missing, whether he took money and valuables.
Call friends and relatives, perhaps the child decided to take refuge with one of them. If you have reached the child’s friends, then speak directly to their parents; children have a tendency to cover for their friend.
Organize a search group. Ask your family and friends to help you in your search. Gather and split into small groups, then determine where each group will look for the fugitive.
Announcements of missing persons using social networks. Publishing about a missing child on social networks and city portals can be a good help. Often, it was with the help of Internet resources that it was possible to find runaway children in the shortest possible time.
Contacting the police. If all your attempts have failed, then do not wait and contact the police. Take with you the documents for the child, his photograph, write a missing person report and put him on the wanted list.

Important

Most often, young fugitives are found within 24 hours. Children are rarely able to properly think through and prepare their escape, and as a result it turns out that they simply have nowhere to run.

Ran away. What should I do?

When children get lost, parents begin to panic. How to cope with it?

— When panic occurs, you are overwhelmed by an overwhelming feeling of fear, and at this time the body reacts to panic with stress symptoms: rapid heartbeat and breathing, semi-fainting, impaired concentration, unclear thinking, weakness, sometimes dizziness, trembling, etc. It is advisable to sit down and ask for water. Recognize the situation that has happened, although you will not completely relieve anxiety, analyze it, and mentally estimate the priority actions to solve the problem that has arisen.

Some parents, having called friends and relatives, immediately report the missing person to the police and post photos in the media and social networks. Others wait until the last minute, thinking about the consequences: friends will find out, they will look askance at school, etc. and so on. How to overcome prejudices? Everyone understands: the child is more important. But even awareness of this does not always help.

- As soon as you discover or understand that the child is lost, do not hesitate to look for the child, take action. You should never expect things to resolve themselves. Every minute a child can be exposed to great danger. Understand that the most important thing is the first day or two of the search; it is during this time that a large percentage of missing children are found. Even if the child is found, the conversations will still subside; as a rule, they are not discussed for a long time. But, God forbid, if trouble happens, it will accompany your whole life.

We have already talked to you about the fact that children do not run away just like that. In this case, do parents need to convey some kind of message through social networks and the media? For example, asking for forgiveness. Or could this be perceived negatively by the child?

— Expressing feelings, showing concern, making some kind of call, I think it’s still necessary in personal communication. Just as during “cold” contact, through social networks and the media, almost all emotions are lost, through this only coldness and indifference are successfully conveyed. It is not yet so well accepted and developed among us that we often express our love through cold calls; we are accustomed to personal communication in such cases.

How do children perceive their orientation on the streets and on social networks?

“I think it all depends on the perception of the child himself. Some may feel the euphoria of significance, others - fear, there is no definite answer. It all depends on the child’s personal qualities.

Children and teenagers now live on the Internet, carefully selecting photos for publication on social networks. Perhaps parents should also be responsible when choosing photos for orientation?

— First of all, the primary task in selecting a photo for orientation is the effect of visibility, so that people quickly notice and remember the necessary information and help in their search, even by accident. So that a person looking at a photo remembers and is able to voluntarily recall and recognize a photo of a wanted person that he saw earlier. It is necessary to take into account some aspects, for example, color photos, of course, look noticeable, but when printed on a black and white printer, the background with many other images merges with the image of the face, they become inconspicuous among other advertisements and it is necessary that the photo is in black and white there was no loss of catchiness. Another psychological nuance - for most people, positive emotions are remembered better than a gloomy, gloomy, sad expression on their face. Well, if a child deliberately hides from his parents, then seeing his photo with the message of positive memories of happy, warm moments spent together may contribute to a speedy return home. But here we need to consider the situation and circumstances.

Where do children usually go when they run away from home?

— Most often, children at that moment do not think where they will go. To such questions, children and adolescents simply answer “somewhere”, “wherever they look”, and do not express a clear location. Of course, if the child has not already become some kind of task or plan, when he thinks through all the details and circumstances.

How should parents behave so that their child does not want to leave home?

Even if at first glance your family is a role model, this does not mean that the child does not have problems. Maybe the child is simply afraid to tell you about his experiences, fearing that you will scold him or simply laugh at him. And such “silence” can sometimes lead to disastrous results.

If you do not want your child to think about running away sooner or later, then you should:

Build a trusting relationship with your child.
Remember that a child, despite his age, is, first of all, an individual. Respect his uniqueness and difference from others and do not try to “fit” him into your idea of what an ideal child should be.
Do not use corporal punishment on a child. It has long been proven that spanking is not an effective method of education. By training with a belt, you only show your child your weakness. Therefore, learn to negotiate and look for common ground with your child.
Control your emotions. Sometimes even the most well-bred children can drive their parents almost to the point of white heat. Be prepared to restrain your outbursts of aggression and discontent, otherwise you will simply completely ruin your relationship with your child.
Take an interest in your offspring’s personal life, praise him for his successes and help him solve problems.
Allow your child to be independent and listen to his opinion.

Important

Most often, the problem lies in improperly built relationships between parents and children. In order not to push your child to the idea of escaping, do not deprive him of your affection and care and treat him with respect.

What to watch out for?

If a person is kicked out, then he must immediately decide where he will spend these and the following nights. You should have several backup options.

You need to be wary of unfamiliar women and men who may ask to be the hostess or offer their apartment. Sometimes in critical situations you really don’t want to refuse such help, but you still don’t need to give in. Running away from parents who are oppressive in abusive relationships to potential maniacs or rapists is not the most ideal idea. If you don’t know what to do if you’ve been kicked out of your home, it’s better to go to your relatives or friends.

It is necessary to understand that working on the web, in escort services, and so on is not specifically a job. Of course, at the reception the girl will explain that the activity is as safe as possible, you can earn easy money, they even offer apartments for living. The employees of the establishment can confirm this, but you should not fall for such a temptation.

Firstly, you need to understand that it is illegal to involve minors in such a business. Secondly, it is dangerous. Moreover, we are talking not only about physical injuries, but also about sexual and psychological ones. In such an industry, women often face various diseases and drug addiction. Having run away from home, a person has already escaped from the “prison”, so there is no need to get into another one.

Danger among peers

When children do not know what to do if their parents kick them out of the house, they begin to wander around acquaintances and some apartments, from friends to friends. Therefore, in the end, there are the same minors who are engaged in illegal activities. They may steal, commit fraud, and also sell drugs.

Such individuals offer to become one of them, in return guaranteeing money or a place to live. At the same time, they can say that if a person is a minor, then he has nothing to fear. In fact, this is not true, because criminal liability begins at the age of 14. If the police learn about such fraudulent cases, they will register them.

Harm of the sun to health

There are benefits to sun exposure, but too much sun exposure is also harmful to your health. Besides the obvious sunburn, too much natural light can damage the skin's cell membranes and increase your risk of skin cancer. Therefore, doctors advise sunbathing using sunscreen.

As you know, in our country the weather conditions differ from resort ones, and in northern cities people often experience a lack of sunlight. So the best thing you can do is introduce fish into your diet and be sure to go outside, at least for 15 minutes. Walking improves your mood, nourishes the body with oxygen, and sunlight enriches it with vitamin D. Agree, it is much more pleasant to come home and engage in your favorite hobby or relax after a walk in the fresh air.