Why are some women more comfortable being friends with men?

Understanding how to properly communicate with men is acquired with experience and life wisdom; this is a skill that requires separate development. It is impossible to understand a man completely from the beginning based on differences in psychological specifics, methods of implementation, existing values, and other things. Indeed, the differences between the sexes are great and this manifests itself even in communication and relationships.

Knowledge of this kind can be useful in completely different situations, when the sense of novelty disappears and the relationship becomes cool, when there is interest in a particular man, when it is necessary to convey information or understand what he wants from you. All aspects of communication from intimate to business, as well as from personal to virtual, include the ability to interact and take into account the psychology of men. Naturally, each person requires an individual, unique approach, but there are also general rules that help initially build communication in a constructive manner of understanding and respect. These are the basic principles that you should try to achieve, because if a man does not respect a woman as an interlocutor and does not take into account her opinions, then other attempts to form a dialogue will be useless.

Start being yourself. When communicating, everyone lacks this, but it is especially evident in women, the desire to please and adjust oneself to the needs of others, for whom it is increased. State the facts directly, without long introductions or embellishment, speak your personal opinion, and do not confirm the words of a man - and they will start listening to you, at least because you are different from mass society, which pours marshmallow syrup on everyone in the desire to please. Men value simplicity and do not accept manipulation, therefore, if you have an image of being simple and honest, then the lion's share of successful communication will be done.

The man doesn't want to be reprimanded

It is very important what tone you take in the conversation. Even if your loved one looks like a big child, do not behave condescendingly towards him. Cute nicknames that are appropriate in bed are not suitable for a serious conversation. Moreover, he may be ashamed of his impulse towards frankness.

Remember: you should not look like a doctor addressing a patient or a teacher lecturing. Find a middle ground. Sit next to each other, look into each other's eyes. Who knows, maybe this time he'll tell you what he's thinking about right now.

What can pauses indicate?
How to use them? What additional meaning to what has been said can pauses in speech have? There are always pauses in conversations between people. They can be either accidental or specially created. What does this behavior indicate? Reasons for silence may be different:

•the interlocutor is looking for the right words to more accurately formulate the thought, thinking about the answer; •the topic of conversation is unusual for the speaker; •a way to attract the attention of listeners; •a means to restore silence; •poor vocabulary of the speaker. •desire to hide deception, uncertainty, embarrassment; •speech defects, psychological disorders.

There is a whole science that studies pauses - pausology. One of the founders of this scientific direction, American pauseologist O'Conry, argued that silence characterizes a person more than speech. A pause can reveal a lot about the person you are talking to.

There are several types of pauses:

1.Empty pauses. They hide low intelligence, lack of knowledge, and inability to formulate statements. 2. Intonation - semantic. Replace punctuation marks from written speech. (Period, comma, dash, ellipsis). 3. Pauses of hesitation, deliberation. They are used together with introductory words (perhaps it would be more accurate to say, for example) in reports, when discussing political and scientific issues.

Where are pauses used?

A pause is necessary in monologue speech, dialogue, and discussion. If words, sentences, phrases follow without stopping, the meaning of the statement is lost and the attention of the listeners is weakened. The ability to pause is an art that ancient speakers mastered well. With the help of a short silence, they achieved silence in the audience, observed the intonation structure of speech, and highlighted the main idea. A pause allows the speaker to collect his thoughts and arouse the interlocutor’s interest in his words.

Silence with subtext

In some situations, meaningful silence can say much more than eloquent arguments and arguments. It will help express disbelief, make a confession, and force listeners to think for themselves. We communicate not only with words, but also with looks, gestures and silence. Silence has many faces: it conveys our mood, state of mind. The pause expresses both unbearable pain and happiness. She can be forced and desired, calm and angry.

Terrible pause

Situations where people are terrified of a pause and try to fill it with empty words are a common phenomenon. It seems to a person that others will perceive his silence negatively. They will think that he is stupid or overly shy. Sometimes pauses indicate a fear of communicating with strangers. Words are lost, thoughts are confused, speech becomes confused and slurred. Now imagine that pausing helps your confidence and gives you an edge! By dealing with the fear of pausing, you will benefit from giving the other person the opportunity to express themselves in the conversation. Therefore, when you don’t know what to answer in a difficult conversation, calmly say: “I need to think. I will answer tomorrow."

Complex Science

The art of pausing is a complex science, but useful for humans. I was in a hurry: I made a mistake or offended with a careless word. He was silent longer than expected: he lost interested listeners. He fell silent for a long time before an important phrase: he caused distrust in his competence in the issue under discussion. You are slow to answer in a discussion: there are no weighty arguments and evidence.

When intentionally using a pause in a conversation, it is important not to cross a fine line. To do this, you need not only to have oratory skills, but also to know your interlocutor well and feel the audience. Having mastered this skill, you will always be able to attract the attention of people you are interested in, convincingly prove your point of view, and cope with embarrassment and uncertainty. Take a break and have fun.

Maria Nosova

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Ethical features of business relations between men and women

In a broad sense, ethics is a code, a set of rules for human communication, developed over many generations. There is also such a thing as industrial relations ethics - rules and norms, and sometimes traditions, that should be adhered to when meeting with colleagues at work every day and spending a lot of time together.

The ethics of business relations between a man and a woman are not just a set of boring rules and norms of behavior that are inherent to representatives of the business elite. Ethics is the collected wisdom of the best representatives of business, which allows you to avoid stepping on the same rake that entire generations of successful entrepreneurs have gone through [1].

Ethical rules imply not so much exclusive political correctness as knowledge of the main problems that arise between different groups of people.

Business ethics requires a minimum knowledge of business psychology, and the ability to behave in accordance with this knowledge.

Of course, mastering a delicate manner of communication requires special knowledge of ethics and etiquette in general, and management in particular. But the main thing is the practical ability to be delicate. The increase in the moral factor in business and management is a regularity of a civilized economy, as convincingly evidenced by the experience of developed countries of the world [2; 3].

The relationship between a man and a woman in an official setting is a special area, very difficult for the formation of any principles for establishing these relationships. It is known that the main thing in business subordination and coordination is position, belonging to a higher or some other official level, however, belonging to one or another gender plays a significant role in building business relationships, in moving up the career ladder, in career behavior and specific actions [4; 5].

How do these features manifest themselves in everyday work activities, and what ethical mistakes should a man and woman avoid in the process of business communication!?

Psychologists and physiologists argue that women have more refined taste than men; they more clearly see differences in materials, colors, shapes, and appearance of structures. Therefore, you should not argue with a female employee on these issues; it is better to trust her judgment.

Despite the fact that men have a lower level of adaptability, they react faster to changes in the situation, new methods of work and ways of influencing the team. Therefore, you should not rush a woman to quickly express her opinion or show an attitude towards something, as this will only provoke a contradiction, conflict or other unethical situation [6].

Another reason for differences in business relationships: men have better developed spatial imagination than women. That is why among the great artists and talented designers there are no representatives of the fair sex.

This should be taken into account and situations should not be created that would provoke ethical violations.

There is another feature of the stronger sex that can be a reason for ethical violations. The fact is that one of the characteristics of a man’s character is the desire for fame and popularity, which can be present in a distorted form, i.e. in the form of vanity. Quite often, vanity leads to the fact that a man wants to “waste money”, which, in turn, unfortunately, results in the desire to have more money and get it by any means: moral or immoral - it makes no difference [7; 8].

It makes sense to remember that some employees in an organization may be prone to some unseemly, immoral acts in relation to money, and such employees are more likely to be among the “strong” sex than among the “weak but beautiful.”

There are a number of recommendations in business etiquette that are a result of the fact that in some cases preference is given to women:

• the woman is the first to extend her hand for a handshake;
• a woman is presented with a man, and not vice versa;
• in a company car, a woman takes a more honorable place and is the first to get into the car;
• in office premises, a woman has the right to accept the help of a man (taking into account his greater physical strength) if necessary, to move or carry furniture or any heavy equipment;
• the man gives way to the woman.

Thus, belonging to one or the other gender imposes additional responsibilities on employees of the organization to comply with the norms of business etiquette [9; 13].

According to office etiquette, the woman’s priority takes a back seat to the boss’s priority and even reverses its sign. For example, according to etiquette, the man greets the “lady” first, but the woman extends her hand for a handshake. At work, a female subordinate is the first to greet the manager, but only he can initiate the handshake. Dating etiquette requires that the man be introduced to the woman. But the subordinate is introduced to the manager. Male bosses and co-workers may not get up to greet you (and this is an important sign of etiquette!) when a secretary or another employee enters the office or workroom to deal with current affairs. Higher etiquette officials have the right to leave the room before their female subordinates, etc.

Here are some other points about work relations between men and women that you need to know:

• The door is opened by the one closest to it.
• The person closest to the door enters or exits the elevator.
• Both men and women rise from their chairs to greet a client or visitor, regardless of gender.
• Both men and women shake hands at the service.

If all employees in the office share a common kettle, both men and women take turns heating the tea and washing the kettle. The idea that the prerogative of making tea is exclusively a woman’s task is one of the most typical prejudices, and women are involved in “housekeeping” at work on an equal basis with men. But this does not apply to the functional responsibilities of the assistant secretary for servicing the manager, his meetings and negotiations [10; eleven].

So, to prevent the possible occurrence of situations fraught with ethical violations, psychological characteristics characteristic of representatives of the sexes should be taken into account. Such features exist, and they cannot be allowed to serve as a basis for trampling on morality - neither to a large extent nor to a small extent. Both men and women in a complex system of business relations strive for the same goals - operational efficiency, adherence to moral principles, etc., and in order to create an ethical atmosphere conducive to achieving these goals, it is reasonable to take into account the psychological characteristics of representatives of different sexes [12 ].

Trust is based on confidentiality

In order for your husband to want to consult with you, he must be sure that you will not discuss what you heard with your friends or relatives. Confidentiality is at the core of trust. This seems obvious, but...

According to men, women cannot keep secrets. The husband may say: “I know that you and your friends like to discuss family matters and the behavior of your husbands. I wouldn't want to be the subject of your gossip."

So, if you gave your word that you will not betray or betray, no matter what he tells you, keep it.

The husband must be sure that you will not judge him (of course, if his revelations do not concern the affair with your best friend). After all, he turns to you to ease his soul, and not to receive a portion of criticism.

You want to chat with a guy you met on VKontakte

Well, it happens. It's easier to communicate on the Internet.

If usually, when you see a cool guy, you blush, turn pale, drop your glasses and mumble something unintelligible, but now no one sees this. And by the time you meet in person, you will have gotten used to it and will not react so sharply.

If you're not already texting, find out what he's interested in and ask for his advice. And then how it will be. If he doesn’t want to communicate with you, well, bad luck. Maybe he’s only so cute on his page, but he’s just a monster.

And if he answered, give me another topic for conversation. Maybe you will start texting, and the question of how to communicate with this guy will be resolved by itself.

• Check if your photos are good. Maybe some need to be removed?
• Maybe add something interesting? A link to a funny video? Your romantic poems?
• Now that you are texting, you can try to find out something about the guy.
  Invite him to answer one or two questions about himself (the question: “How much money do you make?” is not good).
• You shouldn't ask the guy to meet you first. Unless you came up with some cunning move. For example, you need a book, but he has it. “Oh, maybe you can give it to me for a couple of weeks? I will return you safe and sound, don’t worry!” - not very great, but still an option.

Be a friend!

In order not to run into rudeness, do not follow your husband around, pestering you with the question: “What happened to you?” Do not show with all your appearance that you crave his confession. It's intimidating.

Make it clear that you are on his side. If he answers all questions that nothing happened, you should not sarcastically say: “Oh, who do you take me for! I see that something is wrong. Let's put it out there!"

You will achieve more if, instead of a frontal attack, you approach the goal in a roundabout way: “Perhaps I have upset you in some way?” or “I don’t like your mood.” Such formulations will most likely not go unanswered.

After he has dared to open his soul to you, do not rush to immediately come with ready-made recipes and advice.