- Forced love
- Infatuation or love?
- How to distinguish these two wonderful feelings?
- How does passion develop into love?
- Bottom line
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It's so easy to get caught up in your own feelings. Even men sometimes may not understand how they treat women. You might think that a girl is attractive only sexually, but then you remember about her for a long time after breaking up. You may think that you have fallen in love with a girl, although in fact you just feel passionate and sexual attraction to her. Emotions often intertwine with each other, filling a man’s head with unnecessary thoughts. That's why the men's magazine masculino.ru suggests looking at the differences between passion and love.
In order not to become a victim of your own deception, it is better to understand how you feel about the girl. If you think that you love, you will suffer for a long time because of the girl if she suddenly leaves you or starts using you. If you think that a girl is only attracted to you sexually, then you can lose her with your boorish and indifferent behavior.
First, decide on your feelings so as not to become a victim not only of your deception, but also of your partner.
Forced love
Cinema, advertising, fashion and consumerism introduce ideas into the human unconscious that shape needs, including sexual ones. Advertising for tights, lipstick, mascara, clothing, and shoes often uses the image of a sensual woman. At the same time, her pose is usually provocative; her clothes emphasize the features of her anatomical structure. This superwoman is unusually attractive thanks to the art of advertising. All women immediately begin to imitate her, use advertised products, trying to increase their attractiveness in the eyes of men. Certain types of tights, types of skirts, brands of lipstick have become synonymous with sexual attractiveness. The problem is not so much the abuse and manipulation of male hormones to subordinate them to certain stimuli, but that all this display heats the cauldron of sexual passions, creating over time a false psychological sexual appetite that is not biological.
Loving does not mean going with the flow, giving in to passions, since love cannot be passive. On the contrary, the essence of true love is activity and willpower. A person must create and nourish love himself, and not rely on tired, erroneous and useless generally accepted schemes. Love is not a passive imitation, but an act of creation.
Unfortunately, many men are looking for the ideal woman, that is, a woman on whom they would project their fantasy. But as soon as a man gets to know a woman better, he loses interest in her and thinks that he was mistaken. And he transfers his sweet but destructive fantasy to the next woman, and this can be repeated endlessly.
The same thing happens with a woman. From an early age, she dreams of an ideal man or a fairy-tale prince. The sources of her fantasies are romance novels, cinema, television, and magazines. In search of a fairy-tale prince, a woman wastes her life, and giving herself to one or another man in pursuit of her fantasy, she can even become a prostitute. As soon as she feels attracted, she is sure that she has found the ideal man, but she soon becomes disappointed in him and, thinking that she was mistaken, resumes her search. After some time, a new man appears who captivates her, but also not for long. Perhaps in old age she will understand that it was a fruitless pursuit of mirages that did not allow her to have a real partner.
Infatuation or love?
Love or infatuation? How to distinguish these concepts? Out of ignorance, many people think that love has gone away, although in reality there was love, or that they are in love, but in reality they are experiencing love. How to distinguish one from the other? Where is love and where is infatuation?
- Love doesn't make you suffer. A person during love is calm, happy, and peaceful, which cannot be said about falling in love, which is often sung in modern songs. It leads to various kinds of disorders: loss of appetite, sleep, increased heart rate, concentration of thoughts on only one person, etc.
- They say love is blind. This is the mistake of people who confuse it with falling in love. In fact, this love is blind, because it forces you to create an image of your loved one and experience feelings for him. But when the image begins to dissipate, then falling in love passes with all the feelings. Love, on the contrary, is sighted, since it is able to look soberly at another person and love what it sees.
- Falling in love flares up quickly and fades just as quickly. Love burns slowly and almost never goes out.
- Falling in love always requires attention, big salaries, good looks, restaurants, a lot of sex, etc. The joy of love lies in giving. Love gives because this is the only way it can manifest itself, without losing anything, but increasing and developing.
- Falling in love can arise even in someone who does not love the closest person - himself. Over time, it only develops into love addiction, since the beloved partner is a source that can give him drink and fill the void of dislike. That is why a person demands more and more without giving anything in return - he himself is empty. Love, on the contrary, can only arise from someone who loves, respects and values himself. He, as a self-sufficient source, can nourish himself and his partner, which is why he does not need obligatory return. A loving person both knows how to give and is able to receive with gratitude.
- Falling in love is the threshold of love. The mission of falling in love is to connect two people, interest them and give them the opportunity to get to know each other. Euphoric feelings are given to partners to cement the union. But if they don’t love each other, they will separate just as quickly as they came together. With the passing of love, many people have a feeling of leaving love. In fact, love had not yet appeared while the man and woman were absorbed in their own illusions.
Despite the availability of information, more and more people do not understand the difference between falling in love and love. Some people begin to fear falling in love when they realize that this is a short-lived feeling, while others immediately interpret their feelings as love. But because everyone creates illusions, pretending to love, a warm feeling will not appear. Therefore, it is necessary to look soberly at the real state of affairs and simply know what falling in love and love are.
How to distinguish these two wonderful feelings?
- Falling in love comes quickly, but love comes gradually.
- Falling in love is short-term, explosive, changeable, love requires growth.
- Falling in love suddenly falls on your head, love comes with time.
- To fall in love, you just need to let everything take its course. To fall in love, personal growth of the person himself is necessary.
- The image of a loved one in a state of love becomes an obsession, and life becomes meaningless. In a state of love, the image of your loved one is constant and real, you live both next to him and in his absence.
- Sex plays a decisive role during falling in love; in love it does not play a major role.
Falling in love is the beginning of love. In the beginning, falling in love flares up, and only with time can you feel love. This is normal, natural. Therefore, do not be afraid of your feelings at the beginning of a relationship, because after that you have a chance to experience love.
Falling in love comes on its own, it is an uncontrollable feeling. However, not all couples find love. Very often, partners cool down along with their love, anticipating the inevitability of the collapse of the relationship. They take some measures, begin to do something, most often criticizing and blaming each other for something. In such relationships, only one thing is missing - the maturity of both partners. The inner personal growth of the lovers themselves can lead to love between them. No changes in appearance, quarrels and scandals, romantic evenings or frequent lovemaking will preserve the union if the partners themselves have not grown so much that they are able to radiate love.
As for love itself, what it is and how it manifests itself, you can read in other articles. However, the whole difficulty is not how correctly people will understand the essence of love, but whether they are ready to love. In reality, love requires effort primarily from the person himself. If he only demands a warm feeling from his partner, then not only will he not be able to love himself, but he will not even feel love from his loved one.
There is a big gap between infatuation and love, but one feeling smoothly passes into another, depending on the readiness of the people themselves. Both feelings are wonderful and not something to be afraid of. Therefore, it is up to you to decide what you can experience with your loved one.
Why is it good that this is not forever?
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And it seems it will always be like this. But it won’t “always” be there. And this is generally good. Because the state of “passion” for the body is, in fact, serious stress, in which a serious burden falls on the hormonal system. The period of “peak” passions is usually several months, perhaps a year. Gradually everything returns to normal and returns to a controlled framework of behavior.
Think about the fact that if your relationship can have serious prospects, then you will need more than a hut to be happy
It is often said that a person is “sick” with love. And, this is generally true. In addition to physiological stress, accompanying psychological processes and phenomena also do not always contribute to rational behavior and often provoke situations that we may later regret.
In this state, people can make unexpected expenditures of money, perform unusual, often unusual actions, even very dangerous ones. For example, romantic climbing on balconies is typical, as a rule, of drunk people, lovers and people who have forgotten their keys. Or, for example, attempts to escape with loved ones “to the ends of the world.”
Against the backdrop of intense passion, you can seriously complicate your relationships with those around you. Imagine that your parents, who may continue to have a significant influence on you and on whom you may depend, turn out to be categorically against your “spring”. In such a situation, instead of calmly and balancedly communicating with them, explaining your position in terms of rational behavior, you can start freaking out, being insolent, threatening to leave, starting to quarrel with them and, ultimately, seriously spoiling your relationship with them.
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Complications in relationships with loved ones are only part of the problems you may encounter. After all, there is still work and training. Remember how many stories we hear and read about how students were unable to complete their studies because they had children. And, at a minimum, a very significant part of such children are the product of this very passion that clouds the mind and instills the false belief that such happiness will now always exist and children are a sign of a happy family. And this, as we know, often turns out to be not entirely true.
What might happen at work? At first, colleagues may be condescending and understanding about your head in the clouds and loss of attention to important matters. But then, rest assured, someone will present you with a bill. Maybe out of envy, maybe out of innate disgust, maybe out of a desire to take your place, or for some other reason.
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In general, while you indulge in unbridled happiness, the rest of your life concerns you only insofar as it fits into the new paradigm of your behavior. Everything else seems insignificant. That is, you, in a sense, “launch” the rest of your life, which you shouldn’t do, because it will remind you of itself with no less strong experiences than you have now, but hardly as pleasant.
How does passion develop into love?
When a man and a woman meet, passion arises between them. This is the love at first sight that many people sing about. Passion is based on sexual desire: a man and a woman attract each other on a physiological level.
If partners are interested in each other not only physically, but also intellectually, emotionally, psychologically, that is, the man and woman have a desire to continue the relationship, then falling in love arises. People are interesting to each other on a human level, perhaps because of their interests, their outlook on life, their habits, etc. Partners also arouse interest because of their human qualities, which are rare, unusual, incompatible with each other, or simply pleasant and useful.
Passion and love arise naturally. To get aroused, you just need to see the person you are sexually attracted to. To fall in love, your partner just needs to tell you something interesting, unusual, kind, and exciting about yourself. But when does infatuation develop into love?
This, unfortunately, happens quite rarely, since love begins when a person begins to take responsibility for everything that happens to him and his partner. Responsibility is what determines the presence of love in the union of a man and a woman. When partners understand that they want not just to date, but also to build a future together, then they take responsibility for everything that will happen to them (including how their loved one will feel in this relationship). A person is responsible not only for himself, but also for his partner. A person is responsible for how relationships will develop in the future, where they will live, what their contacts will be, etc.
When does infatuation turn into love? When partners take responsibility for their loved one and for the relationship they build.
So it all starts with passion. If there is one.
As a rule, relationships that are not planned in advance, such as arranged marriages or customary marriages, begin with a period that can be called a period of passion. This is when you feel that all your thoughts, the whole meaning of your life is directed only towards your partner. The sensations can be so strong that you practically “lose” your head. Interestingly, physiologically this manifests itself in such a way that your mood improves, you get the feeling that you are “flying”, fears, dissatisfaction with life, irritation with the world around you go away. You feel like you're on fire, or at least sparkling. Obviously, the period of passion is an evolutionary mechanism designed to ensure the prolongation of the genus and the survival of the species, so its impact is very strong. Remember the cartoon about Mowgli, when in the spring he felt this impact to the fullest.
