Little things to pay attention to
You need to be careful with little things that can affect your relationship. Don't let them ruin the marriage that brought you happiness.
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A woman must show her respect and sincerity of her feelings.
Do something together with your husband, such as planning a family budget. There is no need to complain that you cannot buy yourself an expensive bag, because your significant other works hard every day so that you do not deny yourself anything.
As mentioned above, do not think negatively, because negativity is draining.
It is also very important that your man feels that he is your first priority. Work, parents, girlfriends should fade into the background. Of course, this will raise his self-esteem. Many marriages break up precisely for this reason; young people neglect each other’s feelings, they fade into the background for each other.
The main point in marriage is physical affection, although you should not forget about spiritual affection. Men are designed in such a way that they crave and need not only platonic love, but also physical love. But under no circumstances should you use intimacy as a tool to control your significant other. This is your personal, what binds you to each other.
Women love hints, perhaps this is genetic. But men just don't understand them. Don't waste your time making subtle hints, he won't understand them anyway. Speak frankly to each other. Be honest and open about your feelings.
How to love your husband again: advice from a systems psychologist
Do you want to love your husband again? Then we start with ourselves. After all, it is the wife who sets the tone in the relationship and builds the exact route for two on the path to their marital happiness.
It is the woman who inspires her man to take certain actions. He, in turn, inspired by her, is ready to lay the whole world at her feet. Everything he strives for and achieves in his life is done for the sake of his beloved woman. Every successful man is a fully realized person, inspired by his muse, that is, the woman he loves.
A man in love is able to make the woman who has become his muse, his inspiration, happy. In such a union there is no place for irritation or mutual claims; both enjoy the result of their joint efforts and experience real happiness from life.
What steps to take to feel like a happy woman:
1. Become desired and loved by your spouse.
You can become visually attractive: change your hairstyle, hair color, use the services of a stylist. But this is just the beginning.
The secret of true attractiveness in another is a feeling of comfort, when there is no internal tension, dissatisfaction with oneself, or fear of tomorrow. When a woman feels happy, feels joy and happiness in every moment of her life, her loved one will definitely notice this change.
Our fortunes stink. But we are not talking about conscious odors, but about unconscious ones - pheromones. When a woman feels good and pleasant inside, she smells attractive, as if she glows through this state that is attractive to other people.
2. Understand and be aware of your mental properties.
“How to understand yourself, your desires? - writes a woman from the forum. — My desire is to be in good physical shape. With great difficulty I force myself to run in the park in the morning in order to lose unnecessary 5-10 kg. So, they say, it’s easy to stay fit and lose weight. Nothing comes of it. After such a race I feel like a squeezed lemon. Dissatisfied with myself, I cook breakfast for my husband without much pleasure.”
Advice: there is no need to radically remake yourself, to change yourself to the standards of generally accepted norms. When you know your characteristics and accept them in yourself, you can choose a more suitable way to keep yourself in shape.
There are naturally fast and agile women for whom dieting and intense body training bring true pleasure. Limiting yourself in food, choosing something healthier instead of something tasty is the norm for them. They enjoy this process.
Other women, thorough and leisurely, are structured differently. They may even have more curvaceous shapes. For them, diets and heavy physical activity are a difficult test. It doesn't bring much pleasure, but they can express themselves in other aspects of life.
There are many such examples, but the essence is the same - it is important to improve yourself in what is given to you by nature. Then every effort on the path to your development, every step towards changing yourself is a pleasure.
Start with yourself
If you want to fall in love with your husband again, try giving him gifts. Remember childhood fun: write love notes to each other. Look at your lover with different eyes. You can make a list, point by point, why you once fell in love with him. Tell only good things about your husband. This will only have a positive effect on the relationship.
Start with yourself, say in front of the mirror that you love and are loved, that you have a happy marriage and a husband whom you truly love. You have overcome so many life difficulties together that you simply must be happy. Take a vacation and go on a romantic trip together. A warm country, sea or walks around the city at night will definitely bring something new to your relationship.
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How to love your husband again after being offended
1.
First, understand yourself. Do you really want to get closer to your husband again? After all, if feelings have gone out completely, then it is no longer easy to rekindle this fire.
It is impossible to fall in love with a person overnight if feelings have cooled a long time ago. But if some feelings still remain, then take the advice into account.
2.
To start, go back to the very beginning of your relationship. Remember everything, from beginning to end. Think about what brought you together at that moment, what situations made you happy.
Try to start all over again in the most literal sense of the word. For example, go to the park where you first kissed, go to the restaurant where he invited you on a date before marriage.
It would be a good idea to arrange a repeat romantic trip to where you went on your honeymoon. Maybe all the memories will revive you again and awaken the same violent feelings that you had just a few years ago.
3.
Is it possible to love your husband again? Can. Try to find a completely new person in your husband. Over a certain period of time, it is quite possible that you will feel that you have gotten to know your husband from A to Z and you are no longer interested in him. But don't jump to conclusions.
Look at your husband from the other side, try to discern new character traits or other aspects in him that you had not noticed before. After all, you just need something new to make your eyes light up again, and sometimes, even after living under the same roof for many years, we never learn the most important things about a person.
It often happens that those ridiculous habits and shortcomings in a person only become worse every year. And if earlier you smiled at the fact that, for example, he did not close the cap on his toothpaste, now, when you see an open tube in the bathroom, you are ready to simply explode with rage.
In this case, try to have a heart-to-heart talk with your man and tell him that such a trifle spoils the relationship between you even more. Surely, at first he will not understand the complaints, because you have been silent for so many years, and maybe you even laughed together at your bad habits, and now this is a bone of contention. But if your husband loves you, then he is ready to reconsider all your requests.
If you feel like your love for your husband has disappeared, try leaving for a while. Vacations from each other do not always distance spouses. Sometimes this is the best medicine to renew a relationship. After a few days, if you still have any feelings, you will begin to miss him and you will be able to fall in love with your husband again.
Perhaps during this time you will rethink your relationship and find a solution to many of your problems. Having returned home, you can already say with confidence that you have done everything in order to somehow return that spark that burned in you at the dawn of the relationship.
As you already understand, there are many options on how to love your husband. The main thing is to reconsider your attitude towards him. But if you still understand that, apart from negative emotions, your husband gives you nothing else, then do not waste your and his time.
If you fail to love your husband, part as good friends and start a new life, because family life should only bring happiness and positive emotions.
How to love your husband? Not for the first time...
Don't be surprised by the name! After reading a couple of articles, eloquent letters in which the authors are trying to get advice on how to love your husband , and discussions on a women's forum on a related topic, it becomes creepy. Why?
Women are strongly recommended to:
- give birth to a child and transfer feelings to him
- have an affair
- become sexier and...
- love yourself.
There is some truth in the last point, but here it is necessary to clarify what kind of love we are talking about.
But I would like to start by debunking the myth that love cools down. A lot of girls naively believe that they really had love and now it’s all over.
It turns out that when experiencing strong passion under the influence of a narcotic substance called “falling in love,” it seems that this is real LOVE. It should be like this all the time.
And if it’s not so, DOES IT MEAN THAT LOVE IS GONE AND SHOULD PARK UP? Don't waste time while you're young? Will she still be able to meet that same prince on a white horse?
This is how women ruin their destinies. Because they won't meet the prince. Once again they will be deceived and will think that men are all equally bad.
There are no bad men! There are women who do not know male psychology.
And in general, you shouldn’t sign your name when you’re in love. It’s better to wait until the moment when the chemistry of love ends and you can soberly assess the situation. It’s even less worth talking about civil marriage. This is not a relationship, but its illusion. It’s not clear how girls can agree to them, infringing on their women’s rights.
On the other hand, an unloving wife drives herself into a dead end. She deprives herself of happiness with her own hands! Because she doesn’t want to learn love herself. Therefore, life will teach her every now and then, slipping in some situations in which she will still have to learn this lesson.
Marriage is given in order to learn love! And the better a woman understands her task and copes with it, the faster she will be happy! And to learn love, you should start with yourself. And give up selfishness that ruins life. Selfishness lies in the fact that self-love is confused with self-indulgence.
For example, buying another trinket is not a manifestation of self-love, just like the habit of eating too much at night. “And just let my husband try to hint to me that I’m overweight”... Hence there are many complaints about the partner, they say, he interferes with enjoying life.
Self-love will be greater the more you take care of your development as a person, as a wife and as a mother.
Yes, indeed, as R. Narushevich subtly noted, “marriage is a magnifying glass - what you put under it, you will get enlarged.”
If a girl, when getting married, expects a carefree existence, what will she put under a magnifying glass? Probably selfishness.
What will she get?
1. Selfishness will manifest itself in pride, which will be reflected as in a mirror by relatives, especially children. Do you want selfish children?
2. Selfishness is also the desire to exploit the feelings of a partner. I don't want to work on relationships. I would like them to somehow develop organically. I want to receive love, I want love to flow out of itself from what is simply good (consider it under the influence of a drug).
3 . Selfishness is also the inability to accept love and, as a result, reproduce . Often they try to love their husband with wives who roll like cheese in butter, but they, you see, lack the feelings to love their husband! Love yourself first...
Here it is important to shift the emphasis of self-love, to make it unconditional:
- Because I am God's creation
- Because I can give warmth and cordiality
- Because I can make my loved ones happy
- Because I'm a woman!
But you cannot love your husband the same way as when you were in love. Attempts to return yourself during this period will result in disappointment. But it is very important to use your experience of this interesting period.
Falling in love was given to us so that we would see in the best light the person with whom we would connect our destiny. And in the future we must remember these moments constantly. That is, you need to look at your husband the same way as the first time you fell in love with him.
But sometimes memory erases happy moments with new claims, but if you remove them, you can increase your space of love, in which first of all you will be comfortable, then your husband and children, relatives and friends (see how to learn love).
Exercise Make a list of your husband's positive qualities in the first column.
Write as much as possible, it cannot be that there are less than 15 of them. In the second column, write what you don’t like. This column carries a free load to the qualities that you wrote in the first column. There are probably significantly fewer of them, right?
There are no perfect spouses. Each of them has both pros and cons. A wise wife will be grateful for the advantages, but the disadvantages are something that remains to be accepted. Accept your husband.
By focusing on the good qualities of our husband, we develop them even more. And vice versa: if we constantly think about his shortcomings, they will irritate him even more (What kind of love is there?).
And since the more good there is in a husband, the less room there is for bad, it is important to take care of his strengths and then the disadvantages will lose weight. This is the easiest way to love your husband.
- How to make your husband happy
Thus, by developing tolerance, while simultaneously increasing your feminine all-encompassing love, and also studying the psychology of marriage, your family relationships will improve.
Lyudmila Ponomarenko
