Even the most naive girl, after her first unsuccessful relationship, understands that something went wrong and wonders how to understand that a man is manipulating. If you have thoughts in your head that men cannot manipulate, this is a purely female activity, throw it out of your head.
Absolutely every person, regardless of gender, engages in manipulation. Not everyone realizes this, but everyone does it. Some girls rush headlong into a love trap, not noticing how men deftly twist them around their fingers. But it’s still better to recognize manipulation and fight it at the very beginning, and not when a man simply used it in his entire life or even ruined the best years of your life.
Calculating the manipulator
It’s hard to resist beautiful compliments, exciting speeches and languid glances from your lover.
The guy shows concern, is constantly interested in how and with whom his beloved spent time, notices all the changes happening to his better half. A manipulative man behaves impeccably in a relationship, but alarm bells are easy to recognize. No matter how skillful he may be, taking a closer look at the gentleman's behavior, everything becomes clear. If a man is a manipulator, the signs will be obvious. A normal man never speaks badly about past relationships with women. This is beyond his dignity, because in breakups, as a rule, both are to blame. How to recognize a manipulator? A selfish vain person describes his former passion in the most negative terms and blames the fairer sex for all the troubles.
Constant control
He seems incredibly caring. Your loved one constantly asks where you were, with whom, when you returned home and asks a lot of similar questions. In fact, he wants to identify your weaknesses so that over time he can use them for manipulation.
"Remake" for yourself
As the relationship develops, the man begins to express complaints. He may say that your union is being interfered with by: your work or study, love of shopping, friends or relatives - there can be a lot of options. The guy claims that by ridding you of negative qualities, you will strengthen love. This is far from true. Male manipulation involves changing the habits and behavior of the beloved in accordance with personal interests.
Excessive jealousy
The husband is a manipulator and an egoist, who at first glance seems overly self-confident and important, but constantly nurtures fear in his soul. He is afraid of losing the victim whom he has learned to control, so he constantly makes claims to his beloved, is jealous and reproaches for any contact with the male sex.
How to manipulate a girl in a relationship? “Puppeteers” quite often show either love, then hatred, or indifference. Women feel that they are admired, but nitpicking over little things confuses them, forcing them to constantly wonder what feelings the guy they love actually experiences.
Virgo
Virgos are smart manipulators. Even if you think they're a little cold and distant, Virgos are actually very sensitive people who just never reveal their emotions quickly. They may never show it outwardly, but they can get very caught up in criticism, especially if it's something they notice about themselves. As one of the smartest signs of the zodiac, Virgos know exactly how to outwit and manipulate others they want to get back to. Their perfectionist attitude extends to manipulation - they will stage-by-stage plan an entire scenario to put you in the worst possible position without you even seeing it happen.
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The main qualities of a manipulator
As we have already said, the most common victims of manipulators are conscientious and trusting women. These wonderful human qualities turn into a real disaster for their owner when meeting with an experienced manipulator, who is able to determine who is in front of him almost immediately after meeting.
A sincere and trusting woman willingly tells him almost everything about herself, without hiding the negative aspects of her past. This is her main mistake. A manipulator man needs exactly this kind of information - in the future, at the slightest opportunity, he will begin to reproach the poor fellow for this or that offense from the past.
He constantly reminds her of what she is ashamed to remember, in order to instill a feeling of guilt in the poor fellow. And she, of course, will feel more and more guilty. And, in the end, she will begin to forgive her lover a lot, because she, compared to him, is a worthless and insignificant creature. What does he expect from her...
What should a woman do if she is, in essence, a decent and kind person? Turn into an evil bitch? Nothing like that! Manipulation of a woman, even of this kind, is entirely preventable. She just needs to add a little insight and common sense to her positive qualities and try to consider her chosen one from all sides.
Of course, for the time being, until the prey is caught in their net, they will not demonstrate these qualities. As a rule, manipulators are well aware of the psychology of seducing women, and they skillfully play the role of a romantic, responsive and understanding person who can be completely trusted.
Basics of manipulation
The psychology of a manipulator is simple: he needs to change a woman’s life by any means in accordance with his personal interests. This is done unobtrusively and hidden, as a result the young ladies think that they made all the decisions on their own. How to manipulate a woman? Gentlemen usually practice 2 methods.
Women are sensitive natures. They are ready to help all those who suffer, and will make any sacrifice for their beloved. Wanting to manipulate his beloved, a guy can put pressure on pity: pretend to be sick, pretend to be offended, come up with a reason for a bad mood. All these actions are aimed at keeping the girl close. Manipulative men and their methods are sometimes extremely cruel, because they make a woman feel guilty for actions that she did not commit.
Surrounded with care
Does your loved one tell you what dress to buy, how to dye your hair and what rearrangements need to be made in the house? At the same time, his speech begins with the phrases “You should have consulted with me” or “I’ll tell you what’s best”? Congratulations! There's a manipulator in your house.
Why does a man manipulate a woman? The egoist needs a victim who will create comfortable conditions for the gentleman’s life, forgetting about his own interests and completely submitting to his will.
How to understand that a man is manipulating you? This is indicated by a number of signs:
- constantly complains about health;
- avoids disputes;
- makes decisions for you;
- showers with reproaches, sometimes completely groundless;
- compares with ex-partner;
- scares me of leaving;
- confesses his love too often.
Scorpion
Although Scorpio may be small, be careful of its bite! These are some of the most mysterious people, but everyone should know how much they manipulate others. Scorpios channel their emotions into other water signs in different ways - they are very passionate and driven people who will stop at nothing. Their resourceful and jealous nature means they will make the most of every one of your weaknesses. Sometimes they end up going too far, but their sense of self-importance usually prevents them from seeing it until it's too late.
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Types of male manipulation
Men's manipulations are designed for the emotionality of women. They have a very popular technique - significant pauses in conversation, which are accompanied by a searching and soulful look. A woman waiting for the dialogue to continue usually cannot stand such a pause and tries to fill it. If she is naive, she may even unexpectedly begin to make excuses or agree with things that she should not agree with.
Another favorite technique of manipulators who are experts in the psychology of seducing women is prolonging the wait indefinitely. For example, feeling that a woman will be very happy to meet again, they may disappear from her life for a while, not call or appear. And after she, exhausted by waiting, loses her last hope, the manipulator suddenly appears, explaining his absence by urgent matters, illness, business trip, etc. And she willingly believes any legend, not wanting to lose him and relive the painful uncertainty and loneliness.
This technique is explained quite simply. If a man returns to a woman quickly, she still has the strength to part with him forever. But then, when the wait completely exhausts her, there is simply no such strength left to resist. The unexpectedly returned manipulator seems to the yearning lady to be a gift from fate that can no longer be refused.
A woman, considering such a man to be businesslike and tactful, willingly agrees to wait for him for several hours at a time. Without knowing it, she begins to learn patience, the lesson of which he, in fact, teaches her. And the more she waits for the next meeting with him, the more she falls in love. And thus becomes ready to accept all his further antics.
Rules of female behavior
How to behave with a manipulator so as not to become a puppet in his skillful hands? First of all, you need to think carefully about whether such a relationship is needed where the girl is assigned the modest role of a victim without personal interests and life prospects. If such a life does not suit you, feel free to say goodbye to your selfish gentleman. Manipulators have difficulty parting with their other half; they often promise to change and promise mountains of gold, but rarely keep their promises.
How men manipulate women in psychology is described in detail. The strong half of humanity has many tricks to hook a woman’s heart. How to communicate with a manipulator so as not to become his next victim:
- do not let into personal space;
- forget about feelings of guilt;
- do not lose composure;
- do not express aggression;
- become unpredictable;
- do not make far-reaching plans;
- learn to defend your own interests.
How to deal with a manipulative man
When you write about women’s lot, sooner or later you come across the fact that people start coming to you with their problems. Therefore, the source of inspiration never ends, because each story is unique, even if there are some common features. Leo Tolstoy said it right - only happy couples are similar to each other. And troubles are numerous, varied and different.
So this weekend began with the fact that my neighbor Nadya came “for salt” at half past nine in the morning, when I was just starting to think about whether it was time for me to wake up. Her appearance freed me from internal conflict. And over a cup of morning coffee, I listened to another life story as presented by Nadya, who probably expected that I could help her.
You - for me, I - for you
Her husband is an ordinary average citizen with his own set of positive and negative qualities. He works “for his uncle” and earns average money. He is dissatisfied with his work, considers himself an unfulfilled person and unfairly deprived of fate. Which, in fact, is what Nadyusha tirelessly reminds of. The fact is that they got married while they were students, “on the fly.”
Nadya endures and agrees. Moreover, now she is again on maternity leave with Marishka, her one-year-old daughter. And the father of the family takes full advantage of Nadya’s dependent position, constantly putting forward conditions for any reason. Need money to run a household? No money left. But he can give the latter. Only he still needs to buy a new processor for his computer.
After all, this is the computer that feeds them. Because who else will feed? “Oh, should I also buy a jacket for my son? Do you remember when I told him not to be friends with Vaska from the third entrance? So, did my son do as I asked? So why should I buy him a jacket?” And so on, in the same spirit.
In a word, every action, every event goes through heated debates in which the husband puts forward his conditions. At the same time, he clearly indicates that if the conditions are not met, then he will not give money, will not take you to the dacha, and will not buy new clothes. Nadya’s family life came to an end during an endless training in diplomacy, because a wave of manipulation covered everyone, and only little Marishka’s dad does not impose any conditions. Bye. But he uses it with all his might as a means of manipulation.
Well, what can I say? The first piece of advice that comes to mind is to become financially independent. Of course, if Nadya had her own source of existence, it would be easier. But on maternity leave, she works harder than any man, because two children - one first-grader and a six-month-old baby - can create a load that even asphalt pavers have never dreamed of. Therefore, the advice is good, but it’s not suitable for everyone.
Meanwhile, it would not hurt to understand what is happening. A man is a manipulator, a person who either compensates for an unrealized desire for power over others, or is accustomed to power in business, at work, and automatically drags such a stereotype of behavior into the family. The most disgusting thing is that he always knows how to hook you, he feels pressure points.
And this is the work of the brain. This is how his thinking works. He experiments with logic for selfish purposes and enjoys it. After all, as a result, he wins with his mind. It seems so to him. And he is pleased with himself.
A manipulator firmly believes in the infallibility of his mental constructs, and in the infallibility of his rights to dictate his terms to others. The words “justice” and “truth”, or at least synonyms of these words, are frequent guests in his vocabulary. Through manipulation, he seeks justice in the form that is convenient for him. And this already looks like a certain worldview, which is difficult to fight.
But this does not mean at all that you cannot fight, you cannot resist. You can and should fight, because a natural consequence of the manipulator’s “work” will be a “valuable” acquisition - an inferiority complex among people close to him, as well as a constant feeling that you owe this person, owe literally everything.
This is how insecure, obligated and dependent Nadya sat in front of me when we tried to understand what motivates her husband. And the most important thing is how to deal with it. Because, in principle, Igor is not a bad person, Nadya loves him, and he has never been seen as indifferent. And therefore, the tendency to manipulate is not a reason for divorce in this case.
Nadya tried to resist. And I even tried to use the same methods. As a result, relations became tense to the limit. It looked something like this. He told her: “Do this, otherwise you won’t get it.” And she told him: “Okay, I’ll do this if you do that.” Word after word, and they found themselves in such a jungle that Nadya no longer remembered where, in fact, it all began.
And this is quite understandable. Nadya tried to fight him with his own weapons. But he is a master at this. And she’s like, “teapot.” His victory was predetermined. Therefore, it is absolutely obvious that we must fight using methods that are unexpected for the enemy. The main task is to ensure that manipulations do not achieve their goal.
Difficult? What can you do? And this skill will come in handy in life at every step. After all, he still, one way or another, gives money for the household. And he still takes the children to clubs. And he doesn’t deny you the things you need. This means that the whole process is not that important if you still get something in the end. So just don't keep up the manipulative conversation. Let his questions hang in the air and remain rhetorical.
It would be nice for us, smart women, to remember that it is impossible to change another person, especially if he himself does not want it. Therefore, let’s not waste time - we’d better adapt to the situation. If an open attempt at manipulation as a means of struggle is not suitable, then hidden manipulation is quite suitable. What does it look like? It all comes down to the fact that we can’t change our husband’s love for manipulation, but we can reconfigure it in a useful way.
If you ignore his manipulations, then an unfulfilled need will begin to speak in him, and sooner or later he will rebel. Therefore, create a field for him yourself where he could manipulate to his heart’s content. Didn't they give him the opportunity to discuss fairness in food costs? Let him look for justice in another place that is safe for you.
This is a lightning rod, and laying straw, and a secret guerrilla war. Just take it as fun. He plays logic games, and so should you. But do not act openly, but wage a guerrilla war. Let him be the smartest and the fairest. Are you sorry? After all, as a result, you will get what the whole family needs.
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Many people think that it is almost always only women who manipulate men, throwing tantrums and shedding tears, but this is not so. Men can also be trained in the intricacies of psychological pressure. The stronger sex can take advantage of women's weaknesses in the same way that women can take advantage of men's weaknesses.
Oddly enough, but women love manipulators unlimitedly, despite the suffering they bring. They are ready to follow such a lover to the ends of the earth, completely abandoning their own benefits. The phenomenon of such love and devotion is explained simply: manipulators know how to play on contrasting feelings, either slipping away or appearing again.
They are almost never easy prey, so they do not become boring, maintaining constant interest in themselves. In reality, this interest is not justified in any way: manipulators are simply slippery and unprincipled types who live only for their own good. They are extremely unreliable and can betray at any moment without much doubt.
If we have managed to fall into the network of a manipulator, we should remember that it is impossible to change it. These pragmatic and cruel people, even if they constantly talk about their seemingly sincere feelings, are simply not capable of unconditional love. And in order not to completely fall into ruin by submitting to the influence of such men, you need to do something to counteract their consumerist attitude towards yourself.
In principle, a woman who has good willpower and is able to consciously approach what is happening to her can very well make a manipulator her psychological trainer. To do this, you need to learn to look at relationships from the outside and never accept your partner with all your heart. And this is a good way to develop self-control and learn to control your own feelings.
However, not every one of us is capable of this. Manipulative men, as a rule, are unusually charming, and it is very difficult to resist their internal and external charm. Therefore, those women who were unable to avoid the harmful influence of such a man, if they intend to prolong their relationship with him, must know his weak points.
Usually the most vulnerable of them, self-love, requires constant satisfaction. Once a woman turns into a silent, adoring slave, that’s it, the manipulator is satisfied. If not, and she intends to maintain the relationship as equals, she will have to constantly develop herself as a person and learn to control her chosen one.
Twins
Geminis know how to get what they want. Another sign often associated with deception makes our top three, as Gemini is another expert at manipulating people. Their communication skills lull people into a false sense of security that makes them feel like they can relax their boundaries. Revealing the whole truth to a Gemini can be a risky move, as you never know which version you're getting each day. Their highly volatile nature means that they may suddenly decide on a whim to use your secrets as leverage.
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