At the beginning of the relationship, the couple feels comfortable and at ease; the most vivid memories and the most tender attitude towards each other come from this period.
But as soon as a couple gets married and starts living together, a third person soon joins them - problems in the family.
There is not a single family that does not face problems, and most often the problems that arise are related to everyday life. On the surface, this is a trifle, a small problem, but more and more often because of this trifle, couples end up in divorce.
Family as a social institution
The family is the first step in social interaction, which is why the family is often called the unit of society. Like other social institutions (for example, the state), the family is subject to the social laws of society.
Based on the history of the development of the family institution, we see that no society could do without this social group.
Moreover, the family is currently the only social institution that provides education and preparation for the socialization of the new generation.
Why do problems arise in the family?
If a couple decides to live together, they need to learn to live not only for their own convenience. You will have to learn to take into account not only your own opinion, but also to give in.
When starting to live together, the couple is not ready to change their habits or give in to their interests. My husband has gotten into the habit of throwing his socks away throughout his life, and after starting their life together, he will not stop doing this. It is very difficult to convince a man that he is wrong if he himself does not notice it.
It’s little things like these that cause the first problems in the family. Serious tests are prepared for long and lasting relationships. Very often, everyday problems become an overwhelming task for a couple.
Everyday life creeps up unnoticed and gradually. Problems take a long time to mature and accumulate because spouses cannot tell each other about what they don’t like. At this time, negative energy accumulates, the spouses become more irritable, until the already ripe conflict explodes
Family and life, everyday relationships
Everyday relationships develop between family members in the course of daily life. Household relations are a system of non-productive connections that are aimed at satisfying primary needs (the need for housing, food and clothing).
Everyday relationships in a family should be perceived in two aspects - depending on the time that each family member spends on living together, and also depending on how responsibilities are divided between spouses and children.
One of the most important moral foundations for a favorable family life is mutual assistance in housekeeping. In many families, children are actively involved in helping with everyday issues.
According to statistics, only women are involved in solving family household issues.
Harmony in everyday relationships is no less important a component of a happy family than mutual understanding between spouses and spiritual closeness. The reason for the vast majority of divorces is disagreements between spouses in everyday relationships.
Family relationships are
Relationships in the family
Description of the material : this material can be used for holding a parent meeting at school or class Relationships in the family “You cannot teach a person to be happy, but you can raise him so that he is happy” A.S. Makarenko
Family is the most important thing that a child has!
It is difficult to raise children in a complex modern world. Problems with work pressure affect parents, and this in turn affects children. All parents raise their children to the best of their ability and understanding of life, rarely thinking about why in certain situations they act this way and not otherwise. Moreover, in every family there are moments when the behavior of a beloved child baffles an adult. And parents make mistakes from time to time. Based on how the family influences the child, we can conclude what kind of environment he grows up in: favorable, contradictory, dysfunctional. The child learns norms of behavior, the nature of relationships between people, and value orientations, first of all, in the family. If he is loved, considered, talked to, played with, then he is open to communication, energetic, inquisitive, healthy, happy, and the development of intellect, feelings, and will is actively taking place. But, unfortunately, this is not always the case, and more often than not this is not how the child’s personality is formed. In the family, children develop self-awareness and self-esteem, form an image of “I,” and learn the first social norms and rules. Family relationships are a special type of interaction between people. People interact for different reasons. These can be domestic, business, professional, personal, intimate, sexual and other interactions. In the family, they all focus on the “small space” of family relationships. Due to proximity and everyday interaction, these relationships are specific and very different from the relationships of the same nature, but inherent in strangers, that permeate our entire lives. Characterizing the relationships between family members, let us turn to psychology. In modern social psychology you can find different types of relationships between people. These are cooperation, competition, parity, antagonism, competition. The names of the relationships themselves determine their essence. Cooperation is the most productive type of family relationships. In this case, all family members are connected by moral and spiritual ties. Mutual understanding, mutual support, mutual respect - these are the main elements of interaction between its members. As a rule, all generations are connected with each other, regardless of whether they live together or separately. Moreover, this connection is primarily spiritual. It is this connection that involves assistance in raising young family members and moral and material support for elderly family members. Competition in the family under moral conditions is an excellent type of relationship, since it activates, first of all, the younger generation to master the knowledge and skills necessary for life. Expecting the results of activities, comparing them, done in a friendly manner, develops the potential of all family members mastering new types of activities. Competition can also have a positive connotation if its main goal is benevolent rivalry. A person with ambitions, brought up in the moral and spiritual world of the family, cannot turn competition into “survival of the fittest.” But if family members want to dominate, regardless of whether they have the necessary potential for this dominance, such competition leads to the suppression of one family member by another. Antagonism is seen as a sharp contradiction between family members. As a rule, it leads to misunderstanding and conflicts. Of course, family members forced to live together “resign themselves” to the proposed circumstances. But this is only for a while. At any opportunity, the contradiction escalates, and the family moves to a new round of intra-family conflicts. It is characteristic that there are families in which one or another type of relationship is clearly and distinctly manifested. In other families these types may be on the transition side. For example, cooperation can include elements of healthy competitiveness and competition. And parity easily turns into antagonism. Of course, the most favorable type for family development is the “cooperation” type, but also L.N. Tolstoy, in his famous novel Anna Karenina, said that “all happy families are alike, but unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.” Without attempting to argue with the classic, however, I would like to note that the circumstances that shape both happiness and misfortune are different. This means that we can say with complete confidence that there are no similar families. Every family has its own skeleton in the closet, but the difference is that some are able to overcome adversity and resist destructive forces, while others fail to do so. Parents can give the world a happy, successful and healthy person, capable of learning, creating, and acting. Or they can ruin you, limit you and not give you even a small chance to somehow try and prove yourself. Raising a child, perhaps, can be considered a unique philosophy of an individual family. Methods and principles of education have the most significant impact on the formation of a little person’s personality, and therefore on his health and social success in the present and especially in the future. At A.Ya. Varga, V.V. Stolin understands parental attitude as a system of various feelings towards the child, behavioral stereotypes practiced in communicating with him, the peculiarities of perception and understanding of the child’s character and personality, and his actions. Their classification consists of five scales. Acceptance-rejection. The scale reflects the integral emotional attitude towards the child. The content of this pole of the scale: the parent likes the child for who he is. The parent respects the child’s individuality and sympathizes with him. The parent strives to spend a lot of time with the child, approves of his interests and plans. At the other pole of the scale: the parent perceives his child as bad, unadapted, unsuccessful. It seems to him that the child will not succeed in life due to low abilities, mental limitations, and bad inclinations. For the most part, the parent feels anger, annoyance, irritation, and resentment towards the child. He doesn't trust or respect the child. Cooperation . Socially desirable image of parental attitude. In terms of content, this scale is revealed as follows: the parent is interested in the child’s affairs and plans, tries to help him in everything, sympathizes with him. The parent highly appreciates the child’s intellectual and creative abilities and feels a sense of pride in him. He encourages the child’s initiative and independence and tries to be on an equal footing with him. The parent trusts the child and tries to take his point of view on controversial issues. Symbiosis. The scale reflects the interpersonal distance in communication with the child. With high scores on this scale, we can assume that the parent is striving for a symbiotic relationship with the child. In essence, this tendency is described as follows: the parent feels like a single whole with the child, strives to satisfy all the needs of the child, to protect him from the difficulties and troubles of life. The parent constantly feels worried about the child; the child seems small and defenseless to him. The parent’s anxiety increases when the child begins to become autonomous due to circumstances, since the parent never gives the child independence of his own free will. Authoritarian hypersocialization. Reflects the form and direction of control of the child’s behavior. With a high score on this scale, authoritarianism is clearly visible in the parental attitude of this parent. The parent demands unconditional obedience and discipline from the child. He tries to impose his will on the child in everything, unable to take his point of view. A child is severely punished for showing self-will. The parent closely monitors the child’s social achievements, his individual characteristics, habits, thoughts, and feelings. Little loser . Reflects the characteristics of the child’s perception and understanding by parents. With high values for this school, in the parental attitude of this parent there are tendencies to infantilize the child, to attribute to him personal and social failure. The parent sees the child as younger than his actual age. The interests, hobbies, thoughts and feelings of the child seem childish and frivolous to the parent. The child appears to him to be unadapted, unsuccessful, and open to bad influences. The parent does not trust his child and is annoyed at his slowness and ineptitude. In this regard, the parent tries to protect the child from the difficulties of life and strictly controls his actions. A special relationship develops between parents and children literally from day one. And they will never be like any other relationship. A child is always emotionally dependent on his parents, especially on his mother, which means he is always “under”, while the parents are “above”. Such a situation of subordination is natural. Perhaps this is the most natural and logical of all possible hierarchies. But the formation of the child’s personality and his physical and psychological health depend on the quality of these relationships, on how comfortable it is for the baby and parents to be together. Families are different, well, at least because they are formed by people with their own unique habits, views and experiences. All family relationships can be divided into several types. Parents in relationships of the first type easily and naturally adapt to the needs of the child. They are aware of them and give a certain freedom in the development and knowledge of the world around them. Simply put, moms and dads allow more than they prohibit, limiting the freedom of their own child only by the criteria of safety, appropriateness and morality. Children in such families have a wonderful life, you know. They typically develop faster, displaying good cognitive abilities and mature behavioral skills. Such kids are brave, active, inquisitive, because they are provided with all the conditions for development. They are not blamed by their parents in vain and literally from the cradle they know how to build trusting and emotionally warm relationships. Such children are usually called “beloved”, but at the same time such love does not spoil or spoil. Parents in family relationships of the second type also easily adapt to the needs of the child, however, due to their own tension and hyper-responsibility, they tend to limit the child’s freedom wherever the opportunity presents itself. In such families, parents are not against supporting the initiative and independence of the child, but at the same time, they do not miss the opportunity to demonstrate their own superiority and experience. “Listen to mom, mom won’t give bad advice!” - dominant and sometimes suppressive upbringing becomes the principle of relationships in such a family. As for children, they also easily get used to this policy. Actually, they have no other way. They are also open, cheerful and proactive, but mom and dad play a major role in their “independent” behavior. The last word rarely goes to the little one, and he is well aware of this. The third type of family relationships is dictated by the hypertrophied sense of duty of parents to the child. In other words, it is important for mom to act as if according to instructions. I'm supposed to feed him three times a day - I'll feed him three times a day. High in calories, tasty and right on time. I'm supposed to read a bedtime story - I'll read it. However, in such seemingly “correct” relationships with a child, coldness attracts attention. Lack of vivid emotions, a true desire to do something from the heart, and not because it is necessary. Needless to say, the baby feels everything. He tries his best to fit in to be loved. The baby is nervous and emotionally dependent. The main educational technique in such families is strict control. Love? Yes, it most often exists, but it is so suppressed by all sorts of “shoulds” and “it’s right” that sometimes there is neither time nor energy left for warm manifestations. Finally, the fourth type of family relationships shows the saddest picture. The immature attitude of immature and infantile parents towards a child is dictated by everything except common sense: mood, advice from friends, a five-minute snippet from a TV show or communication on a forum on the Internet... Parents, and especially mother, behave inconsistently, as if they do not understand the essence of their own actions and words. The parenting style can change literally every day, moving from absolute connivance and hysterical love to strict total control and prohibitions. Of course, in such a family the most unfavorable situation develops for the child and, of course, he cannot be calm, successful and “childishly” happy. As you can see, family relationships are very diverse. Upbringing and the climate within the family influence not only the formation of the child’s personality, but also his health. When someone is sick, the attitude towards this person changes. They feel sorry for him, protect him, and try to help him. And the degree of this help directly depends on the severity of the disease. Accordingly, when a child is sick, it cannot leave his loved ones indifferent. All parents worry and are nervous about even a simple runny nose in their beloved child. Conclusion: In conclusion, I would like to remind everyone of the parable: “Once upon a time there was a family. She was not simple. There were more than 100 people in this family. The family was special - peace and harmony reigned in that family. No quarrels, no swearing, no, God forbid, fights and strife. Rumors about this family reached the very ruler of the country. And he decided to check whether people were telling the truth. He arrived in the village, and his soul rejoiced: all around was purity, beauty, prosperity and peace. Good for children, calm for old people. The lord was surprised. I decided to find out how the villagers achieved such harmony, came to the head of the family and asked: “Tell me, how do you achieve such harmony and peace in your family?” The head of the family took a piece of paper and began to write something. Having finished writing, he handed the sheet to the bishop. He took the paper and began to sort out the old man’s scribbles. I took it apart with difficulty and was surprised. Three words were written on the paper: “LOVE, FORGIVENESS, PATIENCE.” And at the end of the sheet: “A hundred times LOVE, a hundred times FORGIVENESS, a hundred times PATIENCE.” The bishop read it, scratched his ear, as usual, and asked: “And that’s all?” “Yes,” answered the old man, “this is the basis of the life of every good family,” and, after thinking, he added, “and the world too.” To all parents, we wish you love, forgiveness, patience and peace! Appendix No. 1. Tips for parents 1. Love your child, and let him never doubt it. 2. The main goal of education is a happy person. 3. Education without respect is suppression. 4. Accept your child for who he is, with all his strengths and weaknesses. 5. Rely on the best in the child, believe in his capabilities. 6. Strive to understand your child, put yourself in his place. 7. Create conditions for the child’s success, give him the opportunity to feel strong, skillful, and lucky. 8. Do not try to realize your unfulfilled dreams and desires in your child. 9. Don’t look for a magic wand: education should be systematic. 10. Remember that it is not words that educate, but personal example. 11. Do not compare your child with other children, especially do not use them as an example. 12.Remember that every child is unique and unique. 13. Treasure your child’s trust, protect his secrets, never betray your child. 14. Children should be better than us, and they should live better. 15. Remember that YOU are responsible for raising your child. ***** Do not show your child ostentatious politeness and sensitivity. Very soon he will begin to imitate you and do the same, first of all, towards you. Don't be rude or use foul language yourself. Your habit will become your child's habit. Don't speak badly or disrespectfully about strangers. If you set an example for your child in this, expect that very soon he will say the same about you. Be considerate towards other people. This is a lesson to your child about kindness and humanity. Don't be afraid to apologize to someone in front of your child. At this moment, you do not lose anything, you only gain the respect of your child. Remember that behavior is a mirror that reflects the true appearance of everyone! ***** Parental authority, combined with love, sets certain boundaries that help the child make the right decision and make an independent choice. Love. Tenderness and affection give children confidence that they are loved. Attention. By making time for your children, you show them that you need them. Responsibility. By your example, you teach children to be responsible, disciplined, and to control themselves. Admiration for girls and pride in boys develops a sense of self-worth. Unconditional love develops self-confidence and gives a feeling of security. ***** From the first days of life, every child goes through his first, and therefore most important school: the school of the family. And you are the first, most important and fateful teachers. Don't miss the time when your children believe that their parents know and can do everything. Don't betray their trust! Help the child, who he is, whose he is, where he comes from, how he was born, what he should be like as a rational being. Instill in your child by word, show by example: not to do evil, not to commit a bad deed is quite simple if you live by the principle: do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. By word and example, help make sure that everyone is able to perform a miracle - to make the life of someone in their environment a little bit brighter, warmer, more comfortable. Train your child in sympathy, in complicity, and encourage your child to good deeds by your example. Help me understand and love my home, its way of life, its routines and traditions. Help your child fall in love with the land on which his home stands, on which his ancestors walked and left it to us as an inheritance. Dear parents! It is difficult to overestimate the role of the family and especially the maternal school in the upbringing of a person. Remember : whoever is blind at home will not see anything outside its walls.
Presentation on the topic: Family relationships
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Family in modern society
The public has a huge impact on the life of a family. At different historical times, the institution of family experienced different qualitative transformations.
In modern society, the family is also going through some changes. They are mainly associated with processes such as urbanization and industrialization. The advent of the information age is also of no small importance in the life of a modern family: all the innovations that come to society are reflected in the traditions and nature of intrafamily interaction.
Recently, we can also observe dramatic changes in the social roles of family members.
So, if at the beginning of the 20th century only men managed the family budget, today, the family budget is predominantly under female control, which indicates a gradual transformation of the traditional patriarchal family model.
How to fight everyday life
- Don't create problems.
Making a mountain out of a mountain will only add problems, and not for someone else, but for yourself. It is better to discuss the problem with your partner and tell him your experiences. This is much more beneficial for relationships than if you accumulate negative emotions within yourself. - Learn to talk about your desires.
If you need help, you need to tell your significant other. Most often, this problem is inherent in women who believe that the spouse himself should understand what is expected of him. Men are not psychics - they have not yet learned to read minds. - Positivism.
Learning to manage energy is very useful, especially if there have been more negative emotions lately. If you turn unpleasant situations into a joke and laugh more with your partner, the relationship will only benefit from this. - Patience.
In order to overcome any conflict, it will be useful to you, as well as respect for your spouse.
Who will win - everyday life or tender relationships depends on your tactics. If you choose to accumulate anger and other negative experiences, they will simply eat you up from the inside. But if you learn to communicate with your soul mate, then you won’t have any problems.
