Who is a melancholic person?
Melancholic is one of the 4 types of temperament in modern psychology. Who is a melancholic person in three words:
- closed;
- compassionate;
- introvert.
This type of temperament is also characterized by a slow response, hence the slowness, unhurriedness, and desire to get to the heart of the matter. Melancholic children often create fictional worlds and live in them, not wanting to face the reality that frightens them. They behave distantly, which angers parents, school teachers and peers. Over the years, the melancholic person finally closes himself off, allowing only a select few into his fictional world.
What is a reason for anger and aggression for a choleric person, is the end of the world for a melancholic person. This type of temperament is susceptible to depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. In addition, constant scandals and hysterics can lead to breakdowns in the close circle of a melancholic person. Therefore, it is very important for emotional individuals to monitor their mental health and their actions in society.
Pros and cons of temperament: melancholic
Why others love melancholic people:
- high degree of compassion;
- romanticized self-sacrifice inherent in literary heroes;
- devotion;
- high creative potential.
But here are the undeniable disadvantages for which society dislikes them:
- timidity;
- indecision;
- the desire to keep everything to oneself;
- eternal complaints;
- everyone is bad - I’m good or “the world is built against me.”
Germany
The German Ministry of Health hopes that they will be able to begin vaccinating the population just before the New Year or immediately after. It will be voluntary and free for all citizens - at the expense of insurance.
In Germany, the construction of infrastructure for mass vaccination against corona is already in full swing. No later than mid-December, 400 special hospitals with high capacity should appear throughout the country, designed to install freezers that will allow storing the vaccine at a temperature of minus 75 degrees Celsius.
Work on yourself
People wonder: is it possible to change the temperament of a melancholic person? The problem is that temperament is innate. A person cannot change it at his own behest; character is another matter. It can and should be hardened.
The most important stage in the life of any unstable temperament is constant work on oneself. One training session or a brochure from a psychologist will not change you. Working on yourself, your habits and character traits is a constant struggle of the individual with his temperament, it is an analysis of “I want” and “need”, the eradication of harmful qualities and the development of potentials.
How can a melancholic person become self-confident?
It will be difficult for a melancholic person to compare in confidence with a sanguine or choleric person, but anyone can strengthen this quality. So, how can a melancholic person begin to act:
- reconsider the system of life values;
- overcome dependence on the approval of others.
Since childhood, melancholic people are timid, embarrassed to stand out, and therefore rarely receive feedback from others. This gives rise to the need for approval and praise. This type of temperament reacts sharply to criticism, reducing any remark to a personal insult.
There is no separate program for increasing self-esteem for melancholic people. Techniques for strengthening self-confidence are common to all people. Methods for increasing self-esteem can be found in a separate article. The same applies to the question of how a melancholic person can become stress-resistant.
Developing talent: transferring the drama from life to the pages of a book
Catastrophizing events can be transformed from a destructive mechanism of the psyche into an exciting hobby. If you often scroll through scary pictures in your head where you are treated poorly or unfairly, put them on paper. Come up with a story where everyone treated the hero terribly, but he surpassed everyone and reached the top.
This is what the famous writer J.K. Rowling did. When everything in her life was going wrong, she came up with the story of Harry Potter, who was treated horribly unfairly as a child.
Create your alter ego in the book world: put all the hardships of life on the shoulders of the hero, and then help him cope with them. By developing a book character, you yourself will improve.
Test for an introvert.
You have found out what an introvert is, now I suggest you take a test to find out what type of personality you have. Answer honestly, the accuracy of the result depends on this.
1. Would you enjoy skydiving?
2. Do they often tell you lies?
3. Do you have many friends?
4. Do you like lively companies?
5. Do you experience frequent ups and downs of mood?
6. Do you think that people spend too much time trying to secure their future by saving, insuring themselves and their lives?
7. Do you ever feel lethargic and tired for no reason?
8. Is it true that most foods taste the same to you?
9. Do you prefer books to meeting people?
10. Do you often feel lonely?
11. Is it true that you prefer to come to a meeting a little earlier than the appointed time?
12. Are you often bothered by feelings of guilt?
13. Do you like meeting new people?
14. When in the company of other people, are you silent more than you speak?
15. When in a large company, do you try to be in the shadows?
16. Can you say to yourself that you enjoy offending those you love?
17. Are you considered a lively and cheerful person?
18. Do you carefully lock the door at night?
19. Are you worried about your health?
20. Is it true that you prefer to think about what you are going to do beforehand?
21. Can you say to yourself that you are a person who does not mince words?
22. Is it true that sometimes you are so full of energy that everything in your hands burns, and sometimes you feel very lethargic?
23. Have you ever had to give advice on something you are not good at?
24. Do you often take on more tasks than time allows?
25. Do you often feel like you are tired of everything?
26. Have you ever intentionally said something unpleasant or offensive to someone?
27. Would you call yourself a nervous person?
28. Do you easily understand a person’s state when he shares his worries with you?
29. Do you sometimes put off until tomorrow what you have to do today?
30. Do your nerves often seem to be stretched to the limit?
31. Have you ever spoken badly about another person?
32. Do you consider yourself a cheerful person?
33. Do you sometimes have a bad mood?
34. Do you worry if you find out that you made mistakes at work?
35. Do you like the bustle and excitement around you?
36. Is it unpleasant for you to be among people who make fun of your comrades?
37. Have you ever been late for a date or work?
38. Can you say to yourself that all your habits are good?
39. Do you have any obvious enemies?
40. Can you say to yourself that you try not to be rude to people?
41. Would you call yourself a nervous person?
42. Have you ever been greedy to get more than you were entitled to?
43. Do you consider yourself a carefree person?
44. Are you able to give free rein to your feelings and have a lot of fun in a noisy company?
45. Would life without any danger seem too boring to you?
46. Do you at least sometimes feel like an unhappy person for no particular reason?
47. Do you want people to be afraid of you?
48. Would you feel sorry for an animal that fell into a trap?
49. If you got into debt, would it bother you?
50. Have you ever claimed credit for something another person actually did?
51. When meeting people, are you usually the first to take the initiative?
52. Would you try to avoid paying taxes on additional earnings if you were sure that you would never be caught doing so?
53. Do careful drivers annoy you?
54. Do you consider yourself a restless person?
55. Would you take drugs that could put you in an unusual or dangerous state (alcohol, drugs)?
56. Do you believe in the benefits of insurance?
57. Is it true that you care a lot about your appearance?
58. Are you always polite, even with those who are unpleasant to you?
59. Will you throw unnecessary paper on the floor if there is no basket at hand?
60. Do you like to tell jokes and anecdotes to your friends?
61. Do you often think that life is terribly boring?
62. Do you often worry because you have done or said something that you should not have done or said?
63. Is it true that you worry for a long time after the embarrassment that happened?
64. Do you get offended easily?
65. As a child, did you always meekly and immediately do what you were ordered?
66. Do you always apologize when you are rude to someone else?
67. Are you irritable?
68. Can you say for yourself that you have many different hobbies?
69. How much do good manners and cleanliness mean to you?
70. Have you ever taken advantage of another person's mistake for your own purposes?
71. Do you sometimes feel sorry for yourself?
72. Do you like to pull pranks and jokes that can sometimes really hurt people?
73. Are you a talkative person?
74. Are there people who try to avoid you?
75. Have you ever broken or lost someone else's thing?
76. Are there any phenomena, events, things to which you are especially sensitive?
77. Have you ever blamed someone for something that you yourself were actually guilty of?
78. Have you ever insisted on having things your way?
79. Have you ever had a desire to die?
80. Can you say to yourself that you love to talk so much that you don’t miss any opportunity to talk with a new person?
81. Do you always wash your hands before eating?
82. Do you worry about any terrible things that could have happened but didn't?
83. Do you like work that requires quick action?
84. Have you ever taken things that belonged to another person without asking, even something as small as a pin or button?
85. Do your words always match your deeds?
86. Do you like to visit someone often and be social?
87. Are you easily offended by comments concerning you personally and your work?
88. Do you easily lose friends through your own fault?
89. Have you ever been insolent to your parents as a child?
90. Is your mother a good person (was a good person)?
91. Do you like communicating with people?
92. Do you often arrive at the station at the last minute before the train leaves?
93. Are you always ready to admit your mistakes?
94. Do you sometimes like to tease animals?
95. Can you bring some life to a boring crowd?
96. Do you think marriage is old-fashioned and should be abolished?
97. Do you suffer from insomnia?
98. If you saw a child or animal suffering, would you be very upset?
99. Do you always keep your promises, even if it is very inconvenient for you?
100. Do you brag sometimes?
Professional qualities of a melancholic person
Melancholic people achieve the greatest success in professions that do not require constant contact with people. People with great creative potential and a broad mind are suitable for creative professions that require concentration on detail. Calm, leisurely work will appeal to a melancholic person most.
What to do for a melancholic person: top 10 professions
So, who can a melancholic person work for:
- research scientist;
- university teacher, researcher;
- programmer-developer;
- System Administrator;
- accountant;
- Graphic Designer;
- architect;
- musician, performer;
- jeweler;
- librarian, archivist.
Where melancholic people cannot work calmly
A melancholic person will not be able to build a career in areas with constant conflicts and frequent stressful situations. Melancholic people also feel bad in areas where it is necessary to make their way to the goal through persuasion and new acquaintances. Namely:
- advertiser;
- policeman, fireman;
- businessman;
- leader, director, manager;
- work in the service sector.
Peculiarities of raising melancholic children - Mistakes and methods of interaction
The most common mistakes in parenting:
- Punish for poor performance at school. It is necessary to take into account that for a child with this type of temperament, studying in a comprehensive school, with a large crowd of people, is already stressful. Especially in elementary school, parents should not set their child the task of being an excellent student, because for him this is not a primary goal. The main thing for such children is adaptation to new living conditions. To people and the situation in general.
- Scolding a child in front of strangers and comparing him with other children. Such methods of education lead to the fact that a melancholic child can completely withdraw into himself.
It is necessary to be especially attentive and careful about the temperamental characteristics of a child prone to melancholy. It is worth paying attention to the following aspects of education:
1) protect from negative information and prevent the emergence of internal fears;
2) balance the child’s mental balance, preventing him from getting stuck on negative emotions;
3) together with the child, develop methods to combat anxiety and negative thoughts.
4) set simple tasks for the child.
Explain to your son or daughter what exactly is required of him to do and do not expect instant execution. Give him time to think and plan his actions.
Such a child needs more time to implement his plans than children of other temperaments.
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Raising melancholic children implies a very careful attitude to their psyche. Understanding the child’s increased anxiety, it is necessary to limit the flow of negative information from the outside. Talk to him carefully, show kindness, interest in his thoughts, do not frighten him with scary stories that can push the child’s rich imagination to form dark images. You should be careful when choosing books and films that have negative connotations. At an early age, the responsibility for creating a friendly atmosphere around children lies entirely with the parents. Later, with the constant support of loved ones, the teenager will learn to cope with this on his own.
Having the ability to take on the negative emotions of other people, and being prone to suspiciousness, a child with such a temperament often gets stuck in a state of stress, negative thoughts and fears circulate in his head, taking on bizarre forms. Parents can help with this by instilling optimism, giving examples from their own lives, talking not only about successes, but also failures, but with a positive connotation. The child should know that it is not scary to make mistakes, no one is perfect.
Pessimism often poisons the life of a melancholic child, suppresses his energy, and his performance at school suffers significantly from this. Parents can help by expanding his social circle. This will distract you from bad thoughts and make you feel needed among your peers. Introducing to art also releases the child’s positive energy, relieves anxiety, and relaxes. Constant internal tension will weaken, the feeling of fear of retreating, and a positive outlook on the world around you will form.
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Knowing all the risk factors in your child’s temperament and learning to maintain the balance of his emotional state, you can fully reveal the potential of his personality.
Melancholic in relationships
The personality of a melancholic person is multifaceted and difficult for superficial perception. So, what a melancholic person in communication.
People with this type of temperament are closed, it is difficult to extract information from them if they do not like you. A melancholic person is a person who will be selflessly devoted to his friends and soulmate, because it is difficult for him to find new acquaintances.
A partner with this type of temperament is very loyal and reliable. If a melancholic person opens up to you, you are very lucky and he undoubtedly likes you.
Melancholic: who is it suitable for?
A sanguine partner ideally complements the romantic nature of a melancholic person, charging him with positivity at a difficult moment. The melancholic person, in turn, balances the unbridled joy of the sanguine person.
Relationships with choleric and phlegmatic people will not be so successful. With a calm and “don’t care” partner, a melancholic person will experience a lack of love and will not feel desired. A choleric person is able to literally “crush” a melancholic person with his emotional outbursts. A melancholic person will close himself off and hide his feelings.
Where and how to find a melancholic girl
Since introverts find it easier to communicate online, it’s worth starting your acquaintance with thematic sites. You can look into VK city groups dedicated to dating. To get started, establish friendships online and go on a couple of dates.
Don't despair if you couldn't find your soul mate right away. For some, this process takes years, depending on your luck.
How does a melancholic person behave when he lies?
Due to their emotionality, melancholic people are poor at hiding lies. It is quite easy to discern untruths: chaotic movements, darting eyes, confusion of thoughts. Due to their temperamental characteristics, melancholic people lie quite rarely.
Behavior of a melancholic child and its characteristics
Table of main characteristics of temperament
Outwardly, a melancholic child does not show strong emotions, is restrained and reasonable. But his inner world is full of worries and doubts; impressionability and lack of self-confidence give numerous reasons for anxiety and tightness. Such children are not prone to conflicts, are afraid of open aggression from others, and do not provoke disputes or showdowns. Often they cannot stand up for themselves, and can openly defend themselves only in a critical situation. It is necessary to take into account the susceptibility of such children, their tendency to accumulate internal negativity, and their susceptibility to stress and depression. They are frightened by everything new and unusual, for example, joining a new class, visiting a clinic, communicating with strangers, riding a bus. To get used to something new, a melancholic child spends a lot of strength and energy, of which he has little, so fatigue is high, and it takes a lot of time to gain strength.
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A melancholic child feels strength and confidence only in a well-known environment, where he is confident of safety, and only with those people with whom he does not feel awkward and embarrassed. It is not difficult for parents to interact with such a child, he listens to arguments and makes concessions, his behavior is quite manageable, but childhood periods of crises usually pass calmly.
Many people think that a melancholic child does not like to talk, but this is not so. He can talk for hours on different topics, but there is one thing - these topics are interesting to him. Otherwise, you won’t get a word out of him.
Low resistance to external stimuli and self-absorption are compensated by the internal work of the child’s soul, an extremely rich inner world. Its strength lies in the depth of thoughts and feelings, their stability and constant development. Looking inward develops intuition and a sense of empathy. As these children grow up, they find their interests in art and literature. Their spiritual subtlety, attention to the feelings of other people, and the habit of analyzing can greatly influence their choice of profession in the future.
Usually, people of this temperament choose creative professions.
BRIEFLY ABOUT THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF MELANCHOLICS
How to survive if you are melancholic
As soon as you take a temperament test and see a disappointing result, panic begins in your head. The question arises: “what should I do if I’m melancholic?” Contrary to stereotypes, a melancholic person is not the worst temperament. It is important for vulnerable individuals to learn stress tolerance and apply this skill in everyday life.
Where does a melancholic person get energy from?
What's special about them
Among representatives of this personality type there are most talented musicians, philosophers, poets and artists. Aristotle believed that only melancholic people were geniuses. An excellent feature is that everything that melancholic people undertake can be brought to perfection, even if it takes years of hard work. The ideal creations of melancholic people differ from the fruits of the creativity of sanguine people either in their ideal form and execution. Melancholic people always prefer quality to quantity.
With strange persistence, sophisticated melancholics choose as partners people with opposite qualities - frivolous optimists. In such unions, dramas often play out, but at the same time melancholic people gain new creative impulse.
Melancholics and chaos are incompatible - only systematicity, order and organization in thoughts, relationships, emotions and in the surrounding space. They are always neat and well-groomed, they have good manners, clear eyes and clean nails. Even if a melancholic person was born in a family where good upbringing was not highly valued, he will certainly acquire the missing knowledge himself and master the rules of behavior in society. For them, there are no trifles - everything is important, especially shades and nuances. Melancholic people are very caring, compassionate and attentive to others.
They do not have leadership qualities and do not try to be visible, but they still do not remain unnoticed due to their extraordinary abilities. A typical melancholic person is a spectator, not an active performer, so they make good psychologists who delve deeply into the problem.
A person of this type often builds a picture of his own life and then systematically searches for his ideal or tries to create it. They exist in a world they have created themselves, where there is no place for rudeness and primitive relationships. The rhythm of life of a melancholic person is very slow, they do not need a wide circle of friends, a few loyal friends and a loved one are enough for them. They are selective in their friendships and personal relationships, but if you have the honor of being the friend of a person of this temperament, you can be sure of support for many years to come. In love, melancholic people are even more demanding; they prefer to remain alone until they find an object that best matches their ideal.
Melancholic people are deep and thoughtful, they look at the world with sober prudence and therefore are not prone to excessive optimism and enthusiasm for external features - they penetrate to the essence of things. If choleric people spend their energy on talking, choleric people spend it on impulsive actions, on contemplation, then melancholic people know how to plan, think and create. If necessary, they agree to repeat the action many times until they achieve the desired result.
