Developing a child’s communication with adults and peers

Direct communication, the implementation of which in living beings occurs with the help of organs given to them by nature, is most often visual. It is considered the very first, historical form of communicative interaction between people. Later, with the development of human civilization, other types of communication appeared. First of all, indirect communication, in which they use such means as radio, telephone, writing, even footprints in the sand drawn with a thin stick.

One of the features of human existence is the need for communication, which is its main condition.

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With the help of direct communication, the process of realizing a person’s relationship to the world around him takes place, establishing new contacts between people and developing old ones.

Differences between direct and indirect communication

Direct communication is also called direct, since its participants do not use any technical means.
Such communication is very convenient, since the person who communicated certain information is able to immediately see the reaction of his interlocutors to the words spoken to him. Any non-compliance with these conditions means only one thing - communication will be indirect. Lovers sitting at the same table in a cafe gently hold hands and look into each other's eyes. They communicate in simple short phrases, which, nevertheless, tell them a lot. Their communication, in this situation, can be called direct. After all, they are in one place and see how the person they are addressing reacts to their speech.

But if a man is sent on a business trip and the couple separates for a while, the type of their communication will change. They will constantly call their loved one and send messages. Their conversation can be called mediated or indirect, since it will take place via telephone.

In the event that there is no direct contact, for example, during television bridges, various television and radio programs, when viewers or listeners call the studio or participate in SMS voting, then communication is still indirect, despite the emotional, friendly atmosphere .

When communicating directly, the following are of great importance:

1. Various body movements and gestures that can carry a certain meaning. And be some kind of symbol or sign.
2. Facial expressions and its reflective function, corresponding to the mental and emotional state of a person. And also the look, the size of the pupil and the shine of the cornea.
3. Hand position, features of the handshake.

During direct contact, visually obtained data allows us to understand the level of interest of the interlocutor. More precisely regulate the duration of the call.

Indirect communication does not provide such opportunities; the feelings and state of the interlocutor, the speaking person is forced to check verbally.

Types and forms of communication.

Communication can be of various types, each of which has its own characteristics and rules.

There are interpersonal (direct contacts of people in small groups) and mass communication. Mass communication is a set of direct contacts of strangers (for example, a crowd), as well as communication through radio, television, newspapers, magazines, and electronic media.

There are also interpersonal (ordinary communication between people, each of whom has their own unique qualities) and role-based communication. In the case of role-based communication, a person acts as a bearer of a certain role (student - teacher, buyer - seller, son - father, etc.) and acts as his role prescribes for him.

Communication can be personal and business. In personal communication, the direct emotional relationships of people to each other are manifested, and informal information is exchanged. Business communication is the process of interaction between people performing joint responsibilities or involved in the same activity.

The previously predominant direct (immediate - “face to face”) communication is now increasingly being replaced by indirect (with the help of additional means: writing, audio and video equipment, etc.) and becoming more widespread. Direct communication itself is characterized by an increase in forced contacts between people (in transport, on the streets, in shops, etc.). Communication can be confidential and conflictual.

The diversity of communication can be characterized on other grounds. Imperative communication is an authoritarian, directive form of influencing a communication partner in order to achieve control over his behavior and force him to take certain actions or decisions. One can name a whole group of spheres of activity and situations in which the use of the imperative is justified.

For example, military regulations or work in extreme conditions, emergency circumstances. The use of the imperative is inappropriate and unethical in the areas of parent-child and pedagogical relations.

Manipulative communication is a form of interpersonal interaction in which influence on a communication partner in order to achieve one’s intentions is carried out covertly. The symbol of this type of communication in the business sphere has become the concept of communication by D. Carnegie and his many followers. Manipulation is also used in the media when the concept of “black” and “gray” propaganda is implemented. A person who has chosen this form of communication as the main one for himself, especially in the sphere of relationships with friends and parents, ultimately becomes a victim of his own manipulations. Close, trusting relationships are destroyed, and stereotypical forms of behavior are formed. As E. Shostrom, one of the critics of the Carnegian school of communication, notes, a manipulator is characterized by deceit, primitiveness of feelings, cynicism and distrust of himself and others.

Imperative and manipulative forms of communication, in fact, are varieties of monologue communication. We can say that a person who views another only as an object of his influence to achieve his own goals communicates with himself without seeing the true interlocutor.

Significantly more opportunities for mutual understanding, self-disclosure and mutual enrichment are contained in dialogical communication - equal subject-subject interaction. This form of communication is also called humanistic communication. According to the famous psychotherapist K. Rogers, it has psychotherapeutic properties and strengthens a person’s mental health.

In this sense, I liked the basic rules of dialogical (humanistic) communication:

1. Perception of a communication partner as an equal, having the right to his own opinion and decision.

2. Non-judgmental perception of the interlocutor’s personality, trust in him.

3. Taking into account in communication the feelings, desires, and physical states that those communicating are experiencing at the moment of the meeting or conversation.

4. Identification and discussion of problems and unresolved issues, their comprehensive analysis.

5. Addressing the interlocutor on your own behalf, without reference to opinions and authorities

Means of communication. Any communication between people is carried out through two main channels: speech (verbal or, one might say, verbal) and non-speech (non-verbal, commonly known as “body language”).

You already know how important competent and correct oral and written speech is for fruitful interaction with other people. In communication, an important role is played not only by the accuracy of the use of words, the correct construction of phrases and pronunciation, but also by the pace of speech, rhythm, and timbre.

The most attractive is a smooth, measured manner of speech.

Nonverbal means of communication are our gestures, posture, gait, facial expressions; eye contact; the distance at which the interlocutors communicate. They can strengthen, complement or refute the meaning of what is said in words. From 60% to 70% of information (especially about attitude towards the interlocutor) is transmitted through non-verbal means. Although usually people who have not undergone special training are little aware of their nonverbal behavior - thus, even without saying anything out loud, they are overly “chatty.”

Unfortunately, quite often when people listen, they do not hear each other. It is important not only for a psychologist, but for any person to master the technique of effective listening.

Psychologists offer techniques to ensure listening skills:

1. Don't interrupt your interlocutor.

2. Show full attention to your interlocutor with your gestures and facial expressions. If possible, look at him continuously and kindly.

3. When the interlocutor has spoken, repeat the main idea in your own words to clarify whether you understood him correctly.

4. Avoid hasty conclusions; try to fully understand the other person’s train of thought.

5. Try to react as calmly as possible to the emotional behavior of your interlocutor, try to hear the main thing.

6. Don't pretend that you are listening attentively, you have to force yourself to really listen attentively.

7. Don't get distracted.

8. Remember that not all information is contained in words. Look for the true meaning of the interlocutor’s words, taking into account non-verbal information.

9. Don't monopolize the conversation

Organizational aspect of communication

The communication process has become an object of study for psychologists, sociologists, cultural scientists, linguists and other specialists.
At the present stage of research, there are several classifications of forms of communication. The most successful, according to scientists, attempt to systematize types of communication is based on the organizational aspect of interaction. The main forms of communication, according to this classification, are:

• Individual conversations
• Group conversations
• Telephone communication
• Conducting negotiations, meetings, meetings, conferences
• Discussions, disputes, etc.

According to leading experts, the most common form of communication between people is conversation .
The main goal of this type of communication is the transmission of a verbal message, as well as the exchange of thoughts, emotions, etc. Depending on the purpose, conversations are divided into:

• Ritual
  : when the communication process accompanies some ritual or other action. During a conversation, participants in communication must adhere to special rules of speech etiquette
• Personal
  : communication between relatives, friends, etc., aimed at establishing emotional and psychological contact between the subjects of communication
• Business
  : exchange of information between partners, work colleagues, etc.

Two people take part in an individual conversation, and an unlimited number in a group conversation. Many researchers believe that a conversation is a creative process, so it makes no sense to interfere with it from the outside, correct the participants or give any recommendations. However, during the study of this aspect, many rules and tips were created on how to make the communication process more effective, although they mainly relate to business conversations.

Situational and personal communication with an adult and its role in the development of an infant

1. First half of life
2. Situational-personal communication

The first half of life is a completely unique period in the life of both a child and an adult. This age can be called the period of emotional communication between the child and the mother.

At this time, their communication is not yet mediated by anything: there are no objects and no contents between them. Therefore, such communication is called direct. The only content of this communication is the expression of attitude towards another. Moreover, this attitude is absolutely positive and selfless. Although caring for a child is associated with numerous difficulties and worries, this everyday side is not included in the relationship between the child and the mother: he rejoices at her not because she is caring for him, but completely disinterestedly . An equally unselfish and open attitude during this period, as a rule, is observed on the part of the mother: she still does not demand anything from him, does not evaluate his abilities, does not teach anything and rejoices at the very fact of his existence. And even though caring for a baby brings a lot of hassle and troubles - sleepless nights, endless dirty things, screams for unknown reasons - a normal mother would not think of condemning, scolding, much less punishing her baby . Love, which can be defined as the feeling “it’s good that you exist in the world” and in which the affirmation of human existence occurs, is realized here in its purest form. The child still needs nothing from an adult except presence and attention. The only thing he protests against is his “undetected™.” He strives with all his might to attract attention to himself, to evoke and express an attitude, which he expresses through facial expressions, vocalizations, movements, that is, means of the revitalization complex (he does not yet have any others).

During this period, the baby does not yet respond to the content of adults’ requests. In the first half of the year, babies do not yet distinguish between the positive and negative influences of adults: they respond to all their words and intonations (even angry and rude ones) with bright positive emotions. The main need at this age is the need for adult attention.

It is very important that the child needs an adult on his own, regardless of his subject attributes, his competence or social. The baby is not at all interested in the appearance of an adult, the presence of objects in his hands, his financial or social situation - all these things simply do not exist for him. He highlights, first of all, the holistic personality of an adult, addressed to him and not reducible to any partial, objective properties. It is personal motives that encourage him to communicate. Therefore, this form of communication is called situational-personal.

Thus, the first form of communication between a child and an adult is “situational-personal” or “direct-emotional”, which is characterized by the need for the attention of an adult, personal motives for communication and expressive-facial means.

Despite its apparent vacuity and primitiveness, the first form of communication plays an extremely important and even key role for the further development of the child. During this period, the most fundamental, deep foundations of personality are laid. One of them is the isolation of oneself as the initial form of self-awareness.

This primary form of self-awareness consists of separating oneself from the surrounding world and is manifested in the infant's desire and ability to perceive and relate to the environment. It is an emotional, interested attitude towards the people and objects around him that indicates that the baby distinguishes himself from the outside world, that he perceives this world as something different that does not coincide with himself. The baby’s positive emotional self-awareness, which means his normal mental development, is reflected in bright positive emotions, in the desire to attract an adult, in his general activity.

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However, the infant's sense of self depends on the quality of the adult's communication. The more sensitively and attentively an adult treats a child, the earlier and more clearly he identifies himself and the more actively he acts. Looking at the mother and highlighting her actions addressed to him, the baby begins to highlight and feel himself. He feels like the most beloved and unique creature with whom adults communicate and turn. His presence in this world becomes obvious through the appeal of a loved one to him. He feels like what an adult’s gaze, smile, and words are directed at. Therefore, his sense of self is inextricably linked with the adult and his attitude. His sense of self reflects the attitude of an adult. The adult is the mirror in which the baby first sees and recognizes himself. This becomes possible due to the fact that the adult treats the child as an absolutely valuable and unique personality and responds to every manifestation of the baby: his cry, his movements, his facial expressions.

One of the most important psychological developments of this age is the emergence of attachment to a close adult . This new formation is called affective-personal connections, which help the baby develop a sense of self-confidence and an active position towards the world around him and towards himself.

Situational and personal communication also has a decisive influence on the formation of the infant’s cognitive activity and on his attitude to the objective world. This fact was proven in a study by M. I. Lisina. The objective of the work was to establish what shifts in the infant’s cognitive activity occur as a result of emotional communication. The experiments were carried out with children from an orphanage, who, as is known, experience a lack of individual, emotional communication with adults.

Infants of two and four months were divided into two groups - experimental and control. Individual “lessons” were held with the children of the experimental group, during which an adult carried out situational and personal communication. He seemed to give them an “extra portion” of attention and positive emotional attitude. Children in the control group did not receive this “supplement.”

Before and after the “classes”, measurements of the infants’ cognitive activity were taken: the number and emotional intensity of examining toys, participation in the examination of the eyes and hands, the number of emotional manifestations in response to the toy, the total duration of interest in the toy, etc.

It turned out that after classes, all these indicators in the children of the experimental group were sharply ahead of similar manifestations in the children of the control group.

The main conclusion from this study is that systematic emotional communication causes a significant increase in cognitive activity in children in the first six months of life. Moreover, this influence turns out to be much greater if “classes” begin as early as 2.5 months. With age, the developmental influence of emotional communication decreases somewhat.

Situational and personal communication between an infant and an adult in the first half of the year has a decisive influence on the appearance of grasping movements and objective actions of the child. At 4-5 months, most children experience the first purposeful grasping movements - the act of grasping. These movements are initially organized by an adult and are born as a joint activity of a child with an adult, although the adults themselves usually do not notice this.

The results of the work given above convincingly show that the infant’s objective actions arise and develop under the direct influence of situational and personal communication with an adult: the “addition” of such communication leads to a significant increase in interest in objects and to an increase in the cognitive and motor activity of children aimed at the object . The lack of emotional, personal communication, which is usually observed among infants in an orphanage, on the contrary, causes general passivity of children and a lack of cognitive interests.

Business conversation: making a plan

Experts recommend that before starting communication, be sure to sketch out a plan that should contain information about what will be said and for what purpose. That is why business conversations rarely proceed in any form. What points you need to pay attention to:

• Goal : what results do you want to achieve?
• Means : using what methods, techniques, etc. you can achieve the task
• Communicative activity : selection of appropriate means of influencing the interlocutor’s behavior

In addition, it is worth planning the conversation in such a way that it is not too drawn out.
Keep in mind that when participants in communication are tired, they will not be able to focus on serious moments. Also think about the flow of the conversation: important topics are best addressed at the beginning or in the middle of the dialogue (or polylogue). · Mar 27, 2014

SocioDone

Table 1. Typology of communication (communication)

It should be explained why the imperative and manipulation are combined under the general heading of “monologue communication”. A person, considering another as an object of his influence, essentially communicates with himself. He is passionate about his goals and objectives, he does not see the true interlocutor, he ignores him. He projects his views, prejudices, attitudes onto them, i.e. sees himself. A person conducts a monologue with himself, looking at the people around him as reflections of his shortcomings, desires, needs, and feelings.

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