How to turn off a guy: in person or in correspondence, friend or stranger

What to do if an unfamiliar young man who you don’t like wants to meet you on the street? Or a guy you know has fallen in love and wants a serious relationship? How to politely tell a guy off so that he doesn’t get offended and understands that there is no point in persisting. In our article we have collected the most delicate, soft, beautiful, original and tough ways to say “no” to a man. You will learn how to properly refuse a young man on the street via SMS. In addition, we will talk about the most common mistakes that girls make.

How to tell a man off correctly

Ladies enjoy male attention very much, but only if the attraction is mutual. Persistent and obsessive gentlemen cause rejection and sometimes even fear. Having heard “no”, the guy begins to act even more persistently, showing pressure with the offer of acquaintance, so that on the first date he will definitely make the beauty fall in love with him.

Here you can resort to the advice of experts on how to beautifully send off a guy by correspondence without making an enemy:

SMS messages should be as clear as possible;
do not use swear words. If the annoying groom does not understand normal language, then he can proceed to drastic actions;
put the boor in an emergency situation;
do not stoop to the level of cattle: if you are insulted, ignore;
use humor;
Don't expect the young man to understand everything on his own. Continuing the conversation, the young lady gives hope for further communication;
be sure to indicate the reason why you are refusing;
be respectful of his feelings - if the admirer is not a maniac and does not have mental disorders, but has truly fallen in love, you must act tactfully and delicately.

How to gently turn off an obsessive pen pal

If you are connected by a virtual acquaintance, it is not difficult to tactfully stop communication. Write a message something like this: “It was a pleasure corresponding with you, but today I realized that it’s better to get to know each other in real life. I had a great time, but I won't be able to respond to your messages anymore. I wish you positive meetings in the virtual space!”

It is useless to prohibit writing to an annoying Internet friend. This will only increase interest. For particularly annoying and inappropriate comrades, use the options “ignore”, “black list”, “complain”, etc.

In what cases is it necessary to send a guy off?

It may be necessary to send off an annoying guy in a variety of cases. For example, a young man may be overly persistent, or simply not arouse the girl’s interest for a number of reasons. Sometimes ex-boyfriends who try with all their might to restore their previous relationships do not allow us to live in peace. And also friends who are secretly in love. In all of these situations, you need to behave differently in order to get the desired result and protect yourself from further attention from a certain guy. Moreover, action should be taken immediately to prevent more significant actions on the part of this admirer.

Say no

If a young man simply does not arouse attraction (unattractive appearance, different temperaments, unsatisfactory habits), then you simply do not need to focus on his flirting in order to increase your self-esteem. It is optimal to tell him in plain text that at present your plans do not include having a permanent partner, or you already have a person who has captured your heart, even if in reality everything is different. At the same time, you cannot even slightly notice his efforts: he will take this as a green light to continue courtship and count on continuation. Therefore, all attempts in your direction must be stopped immediately.

Refuse rudely

If a man is too intrusive, sends text messages and pesters him with calls several times a day, persistently tries to invite him to a movie or just for a walk, in this case a firm and clear refusal is necessary. It is likely that he will look somewhat rude if the gentleman does not get it the first time. At the same time, you should not hit the patient, so as not to belittle the dignity of the admirer, otherwise he may plot revenge or spread not the most pleasant gossip about you. It is important to tactfully let him know that he is not your type and you prefer a less obsessive admirer.

Tell your ex directly

It’s a different story when a woman is not left alone by her ex-man or even her husband. He wants to return to the old relationship in which he felt comfortable. And at the same time, it does not mean at all that the partner felt the same way, since she did not want to support them further. It's best to talk openly and sensitively about how you can maintain the friendship, but that's the maximum. At the same time, you should clearly state why exactly you separated and for what reasons you do not want to get back together with him, in order to prevent repetition of past mistakes.

How to beautifully blow off a man you once dated?

The most popular mistake is a sharp and rude refusal. Or, on the contrary, too calm and unsteady. An excellent solution would be to find a middle ground - a calm, cold conversation, indifference and insensitivity.

If you still have sympathy for your ex-man, it will not be easy for you to forget him and break off all relationships. In this case, the best refusal is in correspondence or message.

Gap

Any arguments will help you. This will give weight to the refusal. It's worth mentioning his mistakes as to why you want to keep him. When he tries to make excuses and starts telling you that he will change, tell him that it is too late.
You should not pay attention to personalities and make critical remarks. A conflict may arise and a quarrel cannot be avoided. Come up with a plan in advance for how you will build the conversation.
Do not show nervousness or irritability in your voice. To keep your state of mind calm, do not allow cause and effect to be considered. Everything should be extremely short. We talked specifically - said goodbye and parted.

Ways to send a guy to the friend zone

Sometimes situations occur when you have to refuse a friend in an affectionate manner so as not to hurt and offend him. Here you cannot be rude and harsh, because you have been bound by strong friendship for many years. It is unlikely that after signs of attention from a friend, it will be possible to continue to be friends, so it is not advisable to pretend that you do not notice his attempts to court.
Admit that there can be nothing but friendship between you, so that he does not falsely expect more. Say that you have too many connections and you know each other too closely for a friendship to develop into a romance. After all, your novel will not have the mystery that is present at the beginning of the novel.

We reject it politely: we develop behavioral tactics

Most girls don’t even think that refusal can seriously hurt a guy, because they consider it an everyday issue. Because that's nature. Winter is followed by spring, and after the rain a rainbow appears. The guy is courting him, but the young lady refuses him. Indeed, you don’t even have to rack your brains and act like everyone else. But there is another option - to say “no” delicately.

I'm not worthy of you

If a man is not bad, he takes good care of him, makes an effort, and does household chores. He pays at the restaurant and even washes his socks himself. But there is a persistent hostility towards him. A young man who is good in all respects must be turned off gently, saying the right words and so as not to offend his pride. How to turn a guy off culturally? It's trite to say that he is too good for you. Let him know that such an exemplary guy like him deserves a much better match than you. Affirm that friendship is the best alternative. The guy will probably want to convince you with all his dedication. But you remain steadfast, because he is an ideal man who deserves a devoted, loving soulmate. And you are completely different.

The place in the heart is already taken

Another option to properly turn a guy off is to say that you already have a man who has won your heart. Say that you are madly in love with someone else. Well, you are undoubtedly an enviable bachelor. A man must be left inspired and full of self-confidence. However, there is a risk that the suitor will still not give up trying to compete for your heart and will show unimaginable activity.

How to politely refuse to meet a man without offending him

Let's simulate the following situation: a man, guided only by the most sincere and high feelings, asked a girl to date, but for some reason she was against the relationship and decided to refuse him without offending him. It doesn’t matter why and why this happened - we are only interested in further actions. In such a situation, you should understand that if a man decides to open up to you about his feelings, then his intentions for a possible relationship are very serious, and his feelings for you are deep, and simply ignoring his signs of attention will be at least disrespectful and insulting towards him. Therefore, think about what words should be spoken. For a serious conversation, personal communication will be mandatory!

Now let's talk directly about the dialogue itself. Try to avoid any negative mention of a man, direct or indirect. Present the situation as if you are the problem. For example, you have a career, a long journey, a lot of worries, serious health problems, you are not ready yet, you are painfully experiencing a breakup with your ex, and the like.

Next, be sure to appreciate the sympathy he shows. He is sweet, sensitive, kind, attentive, caring, etc. - choose his positive qualities yourself. It is important to show that you appreciated his work and attempts at a relationship with you. In addition, you will give him confidence that he is not bad and deserves his happiness, but only with another person. Let there be only a couple of such compliments, but it is best that they are sincere.

Then, maintain a purely friendly relationship with your recent admirer. If you treat him like a friend, you will accidentally give him hope for a relationship, which will greatly make him suffer and suffer. It doesn’t matter what he was like then, the main thing is that now he’s just an acquaintance, a friend – nothing more. You should never leave a man hoping for a second chance if a girl understands that she will definitely never be ready for a relationship with this man.

Refuse your ex

It happens that ex-boyfriends want to resume courtship or relationships. They felt sad, remembered wonderful moments, or were simply impatient. As a rule, they return very beautifully - with words of apology, a bouquet of flowers and bright plans for the future. And it was at that moment when you were finally released. If you are firmly convinced of turning off your former gentleman, then there are two options.

Gentle. An original way to refuse a guy who once trampled on your feelings is as follows: “I am very grateful to you for leaving me. Only your action helped me meet a worthy person. I’m sorry, but there’s no place for you in my life anymore.”
Rude. In a distant and cold tone, tell him that he was a worthless lover, and only by comparing did you know the difference. And you will no longer agree to anything less.

Methods and possibilities on how to turn a man off

If a persistent guy does not understand that nothing will happen to him either the first or the twentieth time, but continues his persistent courtship, it’s time to throw diplomacy and correctness into the background. Can't tell your gentleman off with funny words? Turn on complete ignore. Ignoring will penetrate even those who cannot be penetrated. Live as if he doesn't exist at all. There are not so many people who are ready to endlessly bang their heads against a concrete wall. Moreover, many are offended that their efforts were not appreciated.

Brave girl

Or try the opposite - concentrate all your attention on the annoying hahaha. Be jealous, demand, make scandals. Show your unbearable character in all its glory. Believe me, there will be no trace left of the sticky stuff. And if he continues his advances even with this behavior, then grab him and don’t give him to anyone.

Let's get married!

By the way, about the registry office. Tell your admirer that you dream of a large family. That you want to live in a three-story house with all your relatives, including grandparents. That you really want your future husband to coo sweetly with your mother in the kitchen, helping her prepare dinner. Do you think your gentleman will call you tomorrow?

Boy, walk by

How to turn off a guy who, after watching enough pickup courses, decided to charm you right on the street, in a shopping center or other place where there are a large crowd of people. The easiest method is to refer to the rush and say that you are in a hurry. If he does not stop the pursuit, say that you already have a man to whom, in fact, you are going. It has been proven that potential suitors quickly merge as soon as they sense an opponent. As a last resort, you can pretend that you are out of your mind.

Refuse a date

You can say “no” to an offer to go for a walk, citing being busy. Tell them that you need to pick up your child at kindergarten, or wash the floors for a second job. The tactic of constantly being busy works just as effectively as ignoring.

The perfect sewing formula

Finally, we have come to a formula that will help you quickly and effectively send a guy off to any girl. This universal method will help you refuse your boyfriend and not offend him. Remember: praise - refusal - praise. “You are very cool and attractive (praise). But, unfortunately, I won’t be able to meet you (refusal). I’m sure any girl would agree to go on a date with you (praise).” You need to sew it correctly, leaving the boyfriend inspired. Besides, a witty and beautiful refusal always looks impressive.

How to delicately turn off an unfamiliar boyfriend

The main difficulty of this situation is that you know nothing about the man who is pestering you. Often, impudent individuals resort to street dating, who, moreover, may end up under the influence. It is not recommended to use any initiative or rude expressions, so as not to cause an inadequate response and aggression. The refusal should be structured as delicately as possible, taking into account the peculiarities of male psychology.

Effective phrases to turn off a stranger

I'm not in the mood today.
I already have a boyfriend.
My dad is a policeman, would you like me to introduce you?
There is no free space in my schedule for dating.
I'm hopelessly married.

The last option can be successfully supported by the presence of a wedding ring or its imitation. Men with the status “actively searching” pay close attention to this attribute.

It won’t be difficult to turn off most street harassers with these simple words. Pronounce phrases confidently and strictly, without a hint of a smile or coquetry. Irritability and metal in the voice work better than long explanations. But don’t directly insult the guy, don’t give him offensive characteristics.

If the tested expressions don't work, go to plan B.

Pretend that you are giving in to advances, but at the moment you are unusually busy: rushing to work, school, etc. Replace your anger with mercy, ask for his phone number and convincingly assure him that you will call him soon. If a guy insists on getting your phone number, give him a fictitious number.

Action plan to turn a guy off

If your admirer doesn’t want to hear your reluctance to start a relationship, stubbornly continues to flirt and pretends that he doesn’t see your dissatisfaction, there is a solution. But develop a line of behavior without a specific, well-established algorithm. But if you follow simple tips, you can achieve what you want.

First of all, assess the situation and try to characterize the young man. Why does he persistently continue to show signs of attention? What's stopping him? Try to answer these questions, and then you can understand his thoughts and feelings. They will also give food for thought for the future. Perhaps the young man is very lonely and is trying to get rid of loneliness by any means. Or he just wants to make another young lady jealous by courting you.
Then try to prepare the man for the subsequent conversation if he did not understand the first time without having to repeat it ten times. Try to accept that he understood by looking at the situation through different eyes. It is likely that he took the conversation too emotionally, or the day was not the best and he simply listened to what was said. Under such circumstances, the main thing is not that he listens to you, but that he is imbued with what was said. Otherwise, he will continue to develop his vigorous activity. Prepare him - give him time to think. But you must also be indestructible - refusal is as hard as a stone. You cannot hesitate, otherwise the young man will sense your uncertainty and try to convince you.
Your arguments play an equally significant role. In any situation when you need to convince someone of something, reinforced concrete arguments are required, on which the subsequent development of the event depends. Everything is similar here. Provide the guy with evidence that he will be happy without you.

Several original ways

Sometimes just saying “I’m not in the mood” isn’t enough. The easiest way out of the situation is to answer harshly and rudely. But it happens that this cannot be done. For example, you are in a good mood and don’t want to spoil it, or the environment is not suitable, people around you may misunderstand everything.

In such a situation, you can respond harshly, but at the same time you must maintain culture and politeness. You can take the guy aside and explain to him in private that you are not a couple. The main condition for politeness is a smile and a quiet tone.

If this does not help, then you can use several funny and original refusals, this way you will maintain civilized communication and send the guy away.

Family man. Tell us about your family (real or fictional). You have two, three, six children, a handsome husband and a loving family. And you can turn the new gentleman’s insistence into an insult:
“In your opinion, is it permissible for a girl not to value her family and to cheat on her husband?”
Commercialism. Go straight to the conversation about money, find out how much he earns, where he works and who he works for, whether he has an apartment and a car. At the same time, show contempt for his achievements: “Ford is nonsense, a two-room apartment is f-i-i.” As proof, demand to buy your favorite ring with emeralds.
Talkativeness. Guys don't like stupid and talkative girls. What are you talking about with your girlfriend? Talk to your boyfriend about the same topics: dresses, cosmetics, stupid guys, your beautiful mother. Take full control of the initiative and don’t let him get a word in.
Silence. Don’t look him in the eye, don’t answer his questions, or use standard formulas: “Yes,” “No,” “I don’t know.” An advanced method is to completely ignore its existence. Leave all questions unanswered; you can pick up the phone and pretend you’re talking to your mom or girlfriend. Realizing that he looks stupid talking to the wall, the annoying guy will leave on his own.

Send it off once and for all

And the most important question is how to harmlessly turn a guy off once and for all. In general, in order to get a man away from you, without rudeness and humiliation, you need to have a conversation with him in a calm intonation and dot all the i’s. It’s best to talk one-on-one so that he doesn’t decide that you want to publicly humiliate him. There is no need to make false promises that you will definitely succeed and that he will have a chance to win your heart. If you say “no,” then once and for all. Otherwise, the gentleman will decide that you are just flirting and making yourself an impregnable fortress, and with your refusal you are simply telling him that he needs to be active.

If, after explanations, the admirer does not give up trying to have an affair with you, ignore his actions. Imagine that you don’t see his signs of attention, don’t give in to his advances, and then soon he’ll just get tired of wasting his time and find another object to conquer.

You can also pretend to be a bore so that he loses interest in you. In particular, if he has already indicated which girls he does not like, then such a chance cannot be missed. Isn't he attracted to gray mice who pore over books in the library all day long? Great, during every conversation, try to insert how you dug up a masterpiece of scientific research in the reading room. He will quickly get bored with this, and he will want to retreat.

Cases when you need to scare a guy away

Men can be extremely persistent, especially in inappropriate situations. They show sympathy in an intrusive, rude manner, interfering with the performance of work or a favorite activity. A woman in this position may doubt the need to refuse an inappropriate young man to the last drop of patience. Due to her upbringing and the stereotype that a girl cannot answer sharply, she has to endure disrespectful attitude from her gentleman for a certain period of time.

However, you can certainly identify situations when the refusal should sound as quickly and sharply as possible.

No mutual sympathy

A man constantly shows attention to a girl, does it beautifully, but does not evoke reciprocal emotions in her heart. In this situation, when you don’t want to offend, choose soft phrases that won’t sound offensive. There is a diagram that will help you build recognition correctly. In a monologue, the girl must first compliment the boy, then say the reason why the union is impossible, and then compliment him again. This will soften the bitterness and create the impression that the suitor is not rejected, but has made a choice in favor of an unworthy woman.

READ

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Frank womanizer

A man who chases women is unlikely to be faithful once the relationship begins. If such a person shows attention to a girl, we can say with 100% confidence that she is his next peak, which he decided to conquer. In this situation, first use non-verbal signals - do not react to glances, smiles, winks.

If this does not help, and he decisively closes the distance, notify the guy by saying that you do not intend to continue your acquaintance. Then, if the intimacy continues, physically separate yourself from him - put a chair, bag or package between you.

All you need is sex

Often this type of man is found on social networks. The young man actively shows signs of attention to the girl, is interested in her work schedule, classes, free time, and hints at a personal meeting. If a woman does not have casual sex with this young man in her plans, there is a need to get rid of him gracefully on VK.

To do this, use the following techniques:

Ignoring. Do not react to messages, do not read or open them, then he will soon get tired of writing to you.
Exploiting weaknesses. If a girl’s vocabulary includes many specific terms, overload each sentence with them so that it becomes impossible to read the text.
Accept the offer to meet, but do not show up at the appointed time. A long wait will offend the obsessive fan, and he will fall behind.

READ

How to leave a guy so that there are no mutual grievances and reasons for revenge

Uses as a vest

Some guys constantly write, show attention, but actually use the girl as a pillow for tears and complaints. If a woman knows about all the problems of a young man, from physiological to psychological, then just such a situation is likely. The way to effectively shave off a bore so that he doesn't get offended is mirror behavior. Conduct a dialogue in the same vein, constantly ask for advice, invent problems, exaggerate, and most importantly, ignore his complaints, focusing on yourself. Soon this attitude will get boring, and the admirer will stop writing.

Pretending to be a friend

Sometimes the young man behaves with dignity. He is a good and attentive conversationalist, constantly aware of the girl’s affairs, but at the first opportunity he uses trust for his own purposes - he tries to kiss, hug. If such behavior does not suit you, then there are ways to get rid of it via SMS. Write that you value him as a friend, but are not ready to move to a new level of relationship, even if it’s just sex without commitment.

READ

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Love is gone

Some boys show attention to girls who previously had mutual feelings for them. However, over time or under the influence of circumstances, this sympathy has passed, and the woman does not know how to get rid of him. To do this, use the opportunity to retire, since a personal conversation in this case is more effective. First, remember the pleasant impressions caused by the young man, and then tell him that you cannot continue this relationship. Mention the prospects for building relationships in the future, but not with this young man.

It's not time yet

Young men, especially in adolescence, sometimes show excessive assertiveness. In this case, you need to delicately tell them that it’s too early to act in this way, you need time to get closer. Say openly and directly that you are also not indifferent, but are not yet ready for decisive changes in life. Don’t set a specific deadline, but don’t delay the moment either. Assess in advance what period will be comfortable for getting to know each other, and name this number of days, weeks, months.

If such conditions are acceptable for the young man, he will say so. Otherwise, you can forget about a potential partner.

Married or boss

A man in a leadership position can provide protection in building a career, but such a romance is not always pleasant. If there is no such thing in your plans, you need to refuse in such a way as not to offend. To do this, use soft words, a gentle tone of voice without any hint of the possibility of changing the decision, and a good reason - a young man with whom the girl has been living for a long time, but is not yet committed. Refusal to a married person follows the same pattern.

How to avoid mistakes

One of the most common mistakes women make is the inability to tell themselves to stop in time. If you have said that you do not want to start a relationship, then you don’t need to say anything more. By continuing the conversation in which you are trying to gently persuade the young man to give up his advances, you are giving him hope without even knowing it.

When a woman continues a dialogue out of a feeling of pity or a desire to protect herself from accusations, the stronger sex perceives this as an opportunity to have an affair. The male brain understands negotiation as a chance to reach consensus. Therefore, saying “no”, you just need to shut up. Reluctance to continue the conversation will make it clear that there will be no continuation.

Young ladies often make another mistake when it is impossible to completely stop any contact. Out of habit, or out of a desire to make sure that the guy continues to feel sympathy, women continue to show nonverbal signs of attention. This is absolutely impossible to do. It is undesirable to look him in the eyes in this situation. And to the best of your ability, do not ask your boyfriend for help. Every action on the part of the girl that involves communication gives hope for romance.

These were the main methods on how to properly turn a guy off and not start a relationship with him.

Having resorted to them, the girl does not have to worry about the annoying gentleman, because she can always say “no”.

How to gently tell a guy off so he doesn't get offended

Since all guys are, to varying degrees, masters at hiding emotions, parting with a girl will be to some extent painful for them. No matter how softly and subtly the last words are said, the main essence will not become softer. Any guy has a very hard and offensive time when a girl rejects him. The only way you can help in this difficult matter is to suppress the guy’s resentment as much as possible. But you need to act as carefully as possible so as not to receive in response unpleasant rumors about yourself or even a desire on the part of the guy to take revenge on you.

Today, there are 3 main scenarios for the development of events (namely at the moment when the girl rejects the guy). In some cases, it is better to use communication devices to avoid awkward glances and silence. In other cases, a personal meeting will be appropriate and honest.

You can ward off a suitor by correspondence on social networks

A distinctive feature of this method is that with the help of remote communication you can avoid all the awkwardness, silence and attempts to shift the conversation to a casual topic. Correspondence on social networks not only does not limit your time in conversation, but also helps to gently hint at a breakup (change your details on your personal page, write a huge message). And with all this diversity, you will be sure that he will recognize and read it. This is convenient and practical, but slightly disrespectful towards the guy, since the choice was made towards remote communication rather than a personal meeting.

Throw away an obsessive fan by talking on the phone or via SMS

An old, time-tested and nerve-tested method, literally. To be fair, it is worth noting that remote communication is also a convenient thing, but the functionality of your conversation is sharply narrowed. Now you can only make a call or write an SMS to turn the person off. Moreover, the guy may be busy, and such an important phone call will simply unsettle him. The best solution is to avoid such conversation over the phone or via SMS. Take it into service only when no other opportunity presents itself. It’s worth turning a person off over the phone only when you are communicating at a distance or you are afraid that you won’t find the courage to carefully turn the guy off when you meet and not break under his pressure and persuasion to try to give him another chance.

Make it clear that you are not a couple when meeting in person

The most courageous and serious act, although very responsible. Enormous freedom in communication, the ability to adapt to the mood of the interlocutor, personal presence and direct contact. Not everyone will decide to take such a step, but it can bring much more benefits than others and minimize the pain of parting. When meeting, the easiest way is to turn the guy off as gently as possible, to explain to him that it’s not about him, but about third-party reasons or your personal beliefs. After such a separation, the young man will only have a good impression of you as an honest and brave girl.