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Almost everyone talks, but do you communicate? Learning the art of effective communication requires certain skills
Let's look at some top tips on how to become a more natural conversationalist and find out how to easily communicate with different people
There are people for whom communication is easy. It's like they just have a natural flair for talking.
They listen and hear well, have a sense of humor, confidence, and charm that makes them attractive to others.
First, let's figure out what personality types exist?
Paul McGee, author of the bestselling book Mastery of Communication. How to find a common language with anyone,” gives his own classification of personality types:
Type 1. "Cheerleader"
An extrovert who acts spontaneously takes on several things at once.
Type 2. "Guardian"
A sociable, conflict-free person. He will tend to give in most of the time, thereby wanting to get along with everyone.
Type 3. "Captain"
He tries to gain universal recognition. Such a person is impatient, decisive, prefers to talk rather than listen.
Type 4. “Thinker”
The same introvert who loves solitude, he likes to do statistics, analysis, planning.
The benefits of comfortable communication
First of all, by communicating, a person develops morally and socially.
Secondly, by exchanging plans and thoughts with other people, she can become inspired and motivated.
Thirdly, constructive dialogue creates positive emotions and leads to success. This is exactly what communication with like-minded people is like.
Why should you waste time and energy on those who don’t understand you? Eliminate from among your acquaintances those who irritate you and try to use you, who love only themselves and are inclined to criticize any of your actions, who are always dissatisfied with everything and bring dissonance to your state of mind. Or keep your interactions with them to a minimum.
How to learn to communicate with other people?
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Let's learn 7 simple steps to communicate effectively:
Confidence
Good people skills start with confidence. This can be seen when a confident person is in front of you. A confident person makes others feel better about themselves. Your confidence shows that you are worthy of other people's time and effort.
Show interest
Showing interest in people helps the other person feel more at ease and increases their self-confidence. It also creates a situation where the other person feels obligated to reciprocate
The Art of the Open Question
By asking a more open-ended question—one that requires a more detailed answer—you encourage the other person to develop and offer more information. It makes them feel good about themselves - and about you, because you're showing interest in what they have to say.
Listen twice, speak once
The old saying goes, “You have two ears and one mouth for a reason: so listen twice as much as you talk.” Stay focused, absorb the information you receive, and find a way to answer a question related to the topic the other person is discussing.
Knowledge is power
Effective communication begins and ends with knowledge. People who travel, read, or know about current events are a joy to connect with. The more life experience a person has, the better he can communicate with other people
Take risks
True self-esteem is synonymous with self-confidence. This means that a person does not change his sense of self-worth in the face of other people. However, some people are afraid to put themselves at risk because they are afraid of rejection. And rejection can make some people feel inferior.
In reality, rejection does not change a person's self-esteem. You are still the same person, as significant and important as you were before you entered into dialogue.
So why waste time worrying about the “what if” situation?
Take risks and don't stop trying to get what you want. The only way to learn good communication skills is through practice.
Start small
Learning to communicate well with different people requires time to develop and accumulate experience. Everyone will move forward at their own pace. Every new meeting and conversation helps increase your self-confidence and diversify your experience
Believe in yourself and your capabilities, because they are limitless.
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Also worth mentioning are two main types of communication:
Verbal communication occurs through speech or language
Nonverbal communication is communication through facial expressions and gestures, glances, body positions, touches
Dale Carnegie, the famous psychologist and writer, most clearly and clearly managed to formulate the rules for communicating with people:
Be genuinely interested in others
Let the person know that you are interested in him, and the person himself will look for points of contact with you
Smile when communicating
Show different emotions. A smile makes a person and you want to communicate with him
Address the person by name
It would seem, what’s wrong with this? By calling the name of the interlocutor, we show that we are addressing him specifically, emphasizing his individuality
Calling by name evokes pleasant emotions, resulting in a positive attitude, attention, and trust in the interlocutor
It is important to hear what the other person is saying
Not many people can boast that they know how to not only listen, but also hear what another person is saying. During the conversation, ask relevant questions, show that you are interested in the topic
It is also important to make eye contact, look into the eyes of your interlocutor more often
Thus showing interest and that you are listening only to him
How can you improve relationships with “difficult people”?
These are the types of people with whom communication can easily turn into conflict, aggression, and cause negative emotions.
There are 2 categories of such people:
Active conflictants
These are aggressive types who like to mock, gossip, act with pressure and rage. People who are convinced of their superiority are often unyielding, demanding that others satisfy their own desires.
Passive conflictants
Whiners, blaming their fate and the circumstances around them, always looking for reasons, reasons for irritation.
Pessimists who see only failure.
Silent people who, with their “silence,” make other people confused and bewildered.
Good girls who always say “yes” and support. However, at that very moment I can deviate from my promises.
If “active conflictants” come your way, you should be a confident, strong person. Show calm and reasonable restraint, and, if necessary, go into battle.
If “passive conflictants” come your way, it would be wise to show patience and flexibility to bring them out of the shell of the incident. Try to identify the “cause” of the difficulty.
Try to understand whether he is always difficult or only when communicating with you? And then maybe there is some kind of mistake on your part that should be understood and eliminated.
It is useful to know which people you should not try to establish contact with:
o The person who is using you
o Eternal critics
o People are whiners who constantly complain about life
o Obvious liars
o A person who treats you with disrespect
o People around whom you feel “suffering”
o A person you keep in touch with out of “pity”
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And always remember the golden rule: treat others the way you would like to be treated.
GuruTest
Techniques based on psychology have been tested not only by time, but also by many thousands of people. These techniques help to gain respect, mitigate conflict situations, and turn a controversial matter or task in your favor.
Psychological techniques of location
1. When going for an interview, remember that information is best received by a person at the beginning and end of the day, so try to be the first or last candidate on the list. When talking with a future employer, look into his eyes, but not in a challenging manner, but in a friendly manner, moving your gaze to the bridge of your nose. This will show your interest and willingness to have a detailed conversation.
2. In conflict situations with your boss, when you feel aggression, try to sit as close to him as possible. This will avoid a barrage of negative emotions and reduce unpleasant conversations to a minimum. The closeness is stunning, and the impulse to “quarrel” quickly fades away. Turn your entire body towards your opponent and point the toes of your shoes in his direction. Thus, you will show your maximum affection and participation in the conversation.
3. During a difficult conversation, when you want to find out the truth, but your colleague is in no hurry to tell the details, take a break. At the same time, continue to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. This so-called psychological pressure, an artificially created awkward moment, will force him to feel discomfort and fill the pause.
4. Another effective psychological technique is an artificially created desire to trust and care. Ask for small feasible favors from the person from whom you want to gain sympathy and goodwill. Instinctively, in the subconscious, he will develop sympathy for you. After all, we value those whom we took care of at least once.
5. It's quite easy to win over your interlocutor. It is important to remember his name when you first meet. This technique will give your opponent confidence that you have singled him out. Use the mirroring method when communicating - repeat some of the interlocutor’s body movements, for example, straighten your hair, or touch your ear, just don’t go too far. This method of trusting relationships works flawlessly and encourages people to have frank conversations.
6. In an awkward situation where you have to walk through a crowd of people, don't waste time trying to shout to everyone. Look into the gaps that have formed between people. This technique will force them to make way for you without further explanation.
7. You can win over the person you like with the help of strong emotions or shock. Find out what the object of your adoration prefers, and be there when the adrenaline rushes. This could be a trip at high speed, watching a horror movie, flying on an airplane, or attractions. An emotional greeting will also help you get closer. A slightly more relaxed and joyful meeting will make your partner enjoy you just as much the next time you meet.
8. Do not use hackneyed phrases “I think” or “it seems to me” in your speech. On a psychological level, this alienates your interlocutor from you. If you work with clients, simply place a mirror behind you. This will reduce arrogance and rudeness to a minimum, because no one wants to see their gloomy reflection in the mirror. This way you can win the trust of even the most demanding visitor.
9. Psychological disposition occurs where caring begins. Learn new things and share your knowledge with others. If your colleague asks for help, don't refuse him, but don't embarrass him by boasting about the knowledge he lacks.
10. Watch your interlocutors carefully and try to understand how they want to appear in the eyes of others. This will allow you to see not the mask, but the person's true desire to convey to you the message of what he is about. Learn to see between the lines, and pay attention to the timbre of your voice. People often highlight key phrases that carry double meanings.
With the help of these simple techniques, as well as your observation and friendliness, you can win over the people you want. Resolve conflicts competently, and you will be able to make your life successful.
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08.05.2017 23:34
How to easily communicate with different people in business?
There are also a couple of lifehacks here:
A Chinese proverb says:
“A person who cannot smile should not engage in trade”
Fact: In stores where salespeople smile all the time, sales are 20-30% higher than in stores with dissatisfied salespeople
Which once again proves the importance of a smile and a good mood when communicating with a client
An experiment was once conducted to increase the amount of tips for waiters. It was suggested to start customer service with positive comments
The waiter wished you good morning, talked about the weather, asked how you were doing, how you were feeling, how was your mood.
The result was unexpectedly positive.
Tips increased by 27%!
When communicating with clients, it is recommended to use the mirroring technique. It has been proven that people trust people with similar behavior. Therefore, this technique is used to establish contact
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When selling over the phone, you can repeat the client’s phrases:
“I want...”, “Do you want...”.
“I understand...”, “You mean that...”.
A study was conducted in which salespeople imitated the buyer's gestures, speech rate, and tone of voice. As a result, it was possible to build more trusting relationships and sales increased by an average 30%
Show empathy in your communications. Make friends with the client. When communicating with a client, it is important to hear and understand what he wants
For example, when advising girls in choosing clothes, it is important to give her a compliment and emphasize the advantages of her figure and appearance. For example, say that this color or style suits her very well
State the expected result of the purchase
“In this dress, all male faces will definitely pay attention to you,” “You will be very comfortable in this dress. You will definitely enjoy the evening and relax with pleasure"
Research (https://www.emarketer.com/Article/How-Helpful-Live-Chat/1007235) has proven that the presence of online chats in an online store makes 38% of sales
62% customers who chatted with an operator said they would shop more efficiently if stores used online consultants
For the user, an online consultant is a free opportunity to communicate during a purchase, during which you can find out advice, recommendations, and opinions.
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Success in life has a lot to do with how well we build relationships with people around us, how we present ourselves and listen to other people. Therefore, it is worth developing the skill of communicating with people.
Etiquette for communicating with people
For those who want to learn how to speak correctly and beautifully, there are certain rules of etiquette. They are based on the use of verbal and nonverbal communication.
Verbal means
Verbal means are the entire set of words that are used in the process of constructing a dialogue.
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Here it is important to pay attention to the fact that the speaker’s speech should be correct, concise, and clean. Sentences must be constructed according to the rules, tautologies and inversions must be avoided.
Also, do not overuse rarely used words; the interlocutor may not understand them.
Nonverbal means
Nonverbal means of communication include facial expressions and gestures. Thus, only by your behavior can you push your interlocutor towards an active dialogue or create an insurmountable gap. This takes place in ordinary conversation, in public speaking.
There are certain rules of etiquette
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Signs of an Extra Person in your life or how to rid your life of the vampirism of others
My mother told me: “Remove unnecessary people from your life, they suck your energy...”. From her point of view, these were completely useless people for me, but I had incredible “usefulness” for them, like a Duracell battery, charging their sluggish bodies and souls with my indestructible energy... Then they didn’t talk or write about energy vampires, there was no Internet yet it was, and my mother intuitively said everything that can be read today by typing “energy vampires” in the search bar... As I already said, today a lot of interesting things have been written about these “energy suckers”, but also frankly stupid ones. Stupid texts about energy vampires talk about evil intent. He's gone. Also, there is nothing mystical here. And we can be at the same time a donor, in relation to someone, and the same vampire. It's only good when there is an equal exchange. This is harmony. It's bad when you are openly sucked. Sometimes for years. Why bad? Let's not talk about loss of energy and other dregs. We are wasting time, and this is the main thing. So, the signs that distinguish a Superfluous Person: 1. He always calls you himself . You have a friend with whom the conversation begins with the phrase: “I just wanted to call you, and you call!” Eat? Be sure that you have an equal exchange with this person, this is your full life partner. This is not an extra person. The Extra Man calls himself and you almost never call him. It’s surprising that, as a rule, the person “sucking” you always calls at the wrong time. You either have soap on your hands, or you are watching a movie or parking... In a word, you are doing some of your business, and then a call comes. As a result, you end up wasting time. 2. He always makes himself wait , or almost always. Often he keeps himself waiting even in a telephone conversation. “Oh, now wait, I have a second line here... I’ll call you back...” And you look longingly at the phone and understand that they will call you back now, but you don’t really want to... He makes himself wait when he comes to you. He is incredibly unpunctual towards you. Even upon arrival, the Extra Man finds something to do, if he is at your home, this could be an urgent and for some reason obligatory trip to the shower... Or a long telephone conversation with someone about work or for some other reason... And you You look longingly at the clock and with your whole being you begin to feel the loss of time. Yes! As a result, you end up wasting time. 3. He always has problems. The most common problems of an Extra Person, if it is a woman, are health problems. And it doesn't matter what gender you are. Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are a psychological donor, you will be aware of the health problems of the Extra Man. And they are monstrous, almost fatal... (in his words) All your attempts to advise simply solving the problem - go to a good doctor - will be nipped in the bud. No, they will listen to you, and you will even, God forbid, organize a consultation with a good and very classy specialist, but this will not end in anything. The result is a waste of your time and that of a great specialist. The Extra Man, of course, has problems at work. All this has been retold to you for months and years. And everyone is to blame - from the stupid boss to the freight forwarders. All your attempts to console the unfortunate person (unfortunate) and encourage him (her) to enjoy a good salary and other excellent conditions are also nipped in the bud. The Extra Person must suffer before your eyes. He (she) does it great. And the result is a loss of time. 4. It is very difficult to ask him for something. Sometimes it happens that the Extra Man needs to be asked for something. Given the opportunity, the request seems trivial. And you are surprised to realize that it is extremely difficult for you to do this. For some reason. Later, when the request or requests are voiced, you feel some kind of stupor that arises in your counterpart, and you immediately understand your reluctance to ask. He, the Extra Man, doesn’t seem to want to help. He goes for it, he will do it for you, but he is so busy. He has such problems... And you lose the desire to ask him for something... You do it yourself, and as a result - a waste of time. 5. He always needs you The extra person entangles you with his “love”. He constantly lets you know how much he needs you. He lives under your care and sometimes cannot do even the simplest actions without you. Sometimes it makes you surprised, sometimes it makes you angry. The Extra Man makes the face of the Cat from Shrek and says: “Well, please...”. He asks for something all the time. And you gradually get used to the idea that he cannot do anything without you. But when, when a serious problem arises, he instantly mobilizes and does everything efficiently and as quickly as possible, you are amazed at such agility and again realize that you are wasting time... 6. He is an incredibly uninteresting person And finally, the most important sign of a Superfluous Person in your life. He's stunningly uninteresting. At least for you. He is a bad storyteller, he is not enchanting, he is not connected with you by any hobbies, in fact, he has no hobbies. This is an incredibly boring creature, really sluggish and boring. In other words, you are not at all interested in him. As a rule, the presence of a Superfluous Person in your everyday life is explained by connections that have little dependence on you today. This is either a neighbor who is difficult to get rid of, or a relative, or a so-called childhood friend with whom for some reason you are forced to contact. Sometimes these are employees at work and even husbands and wives. Yes! They, too, can be vampires of their partners, and they, too, take away time. Summary If you find that an Extra Person is constantly hovering around you and this is not an annoying friend, “brought” from a Turkish voyage, with whom you can simply gradually stop communicating, but a more serious connection; try the following. Start appreciating and EVALUATING your time spent with this person. This applies to telephone conversations, personal communication, and even correspondence. And finally start telling the truth. “Yes, dear (dear)! I remember that you wanted (wanted) to stop by, but I have such a complex project now, I’m giving it all my time.” The answer will most likely be: “Well, please, I’ll just be a second...”. If you give up, then you will again sign the sentence of your time, which will again be devoured by this Longolier. A categorical “no” will save your imaginary project and real time. I don’t think you will lie at this moment. The people that the Extras cling to are, for the most part, always busy with something... And projects too. Phone call? “Oh, sorry, I can’t talk, let’s do it later”... That would be a lie. And we agreed to tell the Extra Man the truth. But the truth will be that you ask: “Do you have something urgent? I don't have much time right now. “It is unlikely that the Extra Man will tell you that he has just witnessed the landing of aliens... He will have to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing urgent in his call. Don’t begrudge your time, it’s the only thing that money can’t buy later. Good luck! Author: Evgenia Vasilenko
Top 7 uncomfortable
So, what personalities should you not communicate with? In this list we have included seven personality types that are not recommended for friendship and close contact:
- First on the list are manipulators. These are people who are able to influence the feelings, thoughts and actions of others for their own benefit. Possessing the gift of recognizing the pain points and weaknesses of the interlocutor, they can realize their goals, passing them off as the goals of the interlocutor. All the manipulators’ acquaintances “work for their benefit,” sometimes without even realizing it, because an individual approach has been found to each of them. For some it is a sense of duty, for others it is pity, for others it is guilt. A manipulator can lower self-esteem by imposing his opinion and cast doubt on a person’s values and moral qualities. And he is also able to skillfully coordinate your actions and actions, with benefit for him personally. With manipulators, you can lose your self and commit actions that you will later regret.
- The second position is occupied by pessimists. Oh, these are eternal whiners who can ruin the mood of even a seasoned optimist! They will definitely point out all the shortcomings, note all the disadvantages and remind you of their unfortunate fate. Initially they evoke empathy, but over time everyone begins to understand that this is a way of life... Communication with them becomes a burden, especially at times when support and a positive attitude are needed. With pessimists, mental strength and time are wasted. Under a certain set of circumstances (and optimists have sad days), they are able to infect with their worldview.
- Remember the mythical Narcissus? So, narcissistic individuals are in third place. Next to them, everyone will consider themselves a “free application”. All events, feelings and actions will be subordinated only to them. It is difficult to realize yourself next to a narcissist, because he will also try to manipulate the environment, extolling his virtues. A narcissistic egoist will irritate a person who adequately perceives himself and his talents. With narcissists, you will waste precious time and faith in your uniqueness. After all, selfish people don’t care about your interests and merits, or even about loyalty and friendship.
- The fourth place in the list is given to critics who consider their opinion to be the only correct one. They will furiously prove for hours that the interlocutor is mistaken, loudly and categorically. By entering into a dialogue with them, everyone risks receiving a charge of negative energy, because critics conduct disputes “with taste,” driving the opponent to despair and anger. Your opinion will always differ from the critic's. Of course, there is a polarity of views for a sober assessment of something, but in an acceptable quantity. Constructive communication with critics is impossible. And who needs these nerves and negativity?
- In fifth position are hypocrites. These are potential traitors, seemingly harmless and cowardly. Their words and actions cause cognitive dissonance among others. The ability of hypocrites to instantly change their views to radically opposite ones is simply amazing. With hypocrites you will always be at risk. By believing in compliments and assurances of sincere devotion, you can be left without support in a difficult situation. Such superficial relationships take years of life, ending in negative emotions.
- Sixth in the top were people whose communication destroys our dreams. These are self-confident individuals, reminiscent of pessimists in terms of disbelief in the strengths and abilities of their opponent. They will never support other people's initiatives. Moreover, they will fiercely prove the impossibility of their implementation. With “dream killers” there is no self-confidence, no inspiration and no development. Because every idea proposed by others will be ridiculed and questioned. Why listen to such “well-wishers”?
- Last on the list are ignorant people, of whom there are plenty around. The shamelessness, illiteracy and tactlessness of such people can harm your peace of mind and even your image. After all, finding yourself with them in the company of decent people, you will have to blush for the unceremonious behavior of your companion. These are people who don't think before they speak. They don't care about other people's feelings. Moreover, having a good intellectual level, these individuals manage to make inappropriate and offensive remarks. Do not communicate with ignoramuses who do not know the rules of decency. Otherwise, you may be suspected of belonging to this type. Do you need it?
We often try to fit ourselves into the framework accepted in society. For example, it is inconvenient for us to refuse communication to a person who obsessively strives to contact us, completely unattractive to us. At the same time, we experience negative emotions - irritation, anger, etc., and even try to correct it. We suffer, in short.
But the manipulator, the ignorant, the hypocrite, the critic don’t care! You shouldn't waste time on people with whom your heart doesn't beat in unison. Let only those with whom you feel spiritually and comfortably be around. Theodore Roosevelt said, “The most important formula for success is knowing how to communicate with people.”
