Psychological techniques for influencing a partner
Psychological influence
- this is an influence on the state, thoughts, feelings and actions of another person using exclusively psychological means, with giving him the right and time to respond to this influence. A characteristic feature of psychological influence is that the partner who is influenced has the opportunity to respond to it using psychological means.
Resistance to other people's influence
is resistance to the influence of another person using psychological means. The number of types of influence and resistance to influence may not be the same, because Each type of influence can be opposed by different types of opposition, and the same type of opposition can be used in relation to different types of influence.
Ways partners influence each other
The content of communication includes certain ways in which partners influence each other. The main ones are: infection, suggestion, persuasion and imitation.
Infection
. In its most general form, it can be defined as an unconscious, involuntary susceptibility of a person to certain mental states. It manifests itself through the transmission of a certain emotional state or, in the words of the famous psychologist B.D. Parygin, mental attitude. Since this emotional state occurs in a mass of people, a mechanism of multiple mutual reinforcement of the emotional effects of communicating people operates. For example, applause at the performance of a popular actor can act as an impulse, after which the situation will develop according to the laws of “contagion.”
It has been experimentally established that the higher the level of personality development, the more critical is its attitude to the impact and thus the weaker the effect of the “contagion” mechanism.
Taking into account the psychological mechanisms of infection is very important, for example, for employees of internal affairs bodies when eliminating the consequences of mass riots, when ensuring the protection of public order during mass cultural, entertainment and sporting events.
Suggestion
- this is a method of communicative influence, designed for the uncritical perception of messages in which something is affirmed or denied without evidence. This is a purposeful, unreasoned influence of one person on another. With suggestion (suggestion), the process of transmitting information is carried out based on its uncritical perception. The phenomenon of resistance to suggestive influence is called counter-suggestion.
At the current level of development of knowledge about this psychological phenomenon, they usually proceed from the position that “suggestion is based on confidence formed without logical evidence and is transferred, or, more precisely, automatically spreads from individual to individual, from the collective to the individual and vice versa.” Unwittingly succumbing to the suggestive influence, a person begins to unconsciously act and act under its influence.
The effect of suggestion depends on various factors. For example, depending on age - children are more suggestible than adults. Tired, physically weakened people are more suggestible. In addition, it has been experimentally proven that the decisive condition for effective suggestion is the authority of the suggestor.
Belief
- this is an influence on the consciousness, feelings and will of people through communication, explanation and proof of the correctness of a particular position, view, action, or their inadmissibility with the aim of changing existing views, attitudes, positions, relationships and assessments.
Persuasion is the main, most universal method of communicative influence. The mechanism of persuasion is based on the activation of a person’s mental activity, on his conscious choice of ways and means to achieve a goal. To convince someone of something means to achieve a state where the person being convinced, through logical reasoning and inference, agrees with a certain point of view and is ready to defend it or act in accordance with it.
Persuasion is based on using logical justification to achieve consent from the person receiving the information. Persuasion is an intellectual influence on the consciousness of a person through an appeal to his own critical judgment.
Imitation
- conscious or unconscious copying of a sample. It allows you to develop identical methods of behavior for people who make up a group or team.
Its specificity, in contrast to infection and suggestion, is that it involves not simply accepting the external features of another person’s behavior, but reproducing the features and images of the demonstrated behavior. Since we are talking about the assimilation of proposed models of behavior, there are two plans for imitation: either a specific person, or the norms of behavior developed by the group.
In addition to the above, there are the following types of psychological influence.
Self-feeding
- declaring one’s goals and presenting evidence of one’s competence and qualifications in order to be appreciated and thanks to this, for example, to gain advantages in elections, when appointed to a position, etc.
Building Favor
- attracting the involuntary attention of a partner by the initiator demonstrating his own originality and attractiveness, expressing favorable judgments about the partner, imitating him or providing him with a service.
Request
— an appeal to the partner to satisfy the needs or desires of the initiator of the influence.
Compulsion
- the threat by the initiator to use his controlling capabilities in order to achieve the required behavior from the partner. Controlling capabilities are the powers to deprive the recipient of any benefits or to change the conditions of his life and work. The most severe forms of coercion may involve threats of physical harm. Subjectively, coercion is experienced as pressure: by the initiator - as his own pressure, by the partner - as pressure on him from the initiator or “circumstances”.
Destructive criticism
- expressing disparaging or offensive judgments about a person’s personality and/or gross aggressive condemnation, slander or ridicule of his deeds and actions. The destructiveness of such criticism is that it does not allow a person to “save face”, diverts his energy to fight the negative emotions that have arisen, and takes away his faith in himself.
Manipulation
- hidden encouragement of a partner to experience certain states, make decisions and/or perform actions necessary for the initiator to achieve his own goals
The following types of psychological resistance to influence can be considered.
1. Counterargumentation
- a conscious, reasoned response to an attempt to persuade, refuting or challenging the arguments of the initiator of influence.
2. Constructive criticism
— a fact-based discussion of the goals, means or actions of the initiator of influence and justification for their inconsistency with the goals, conditions and requirements of the addressee.
3. Energy mobilization
- resistance of the addressee to attempts to instill or convey to him a certain state, attitude, intention or method of action.
4. Information dialogue -
clarifying the partner’s position and one’s own position through the exchange of questions and answers, messages and suggestions.
5. Creation
- the creation of a new thing, neglecting the influence of a model, example or fashion, or overcoming it.
6. Evasion
— the desire to avoid any forms of interaction with the initiator of influence, including random personal meetings and collisions.
7. Psychological self-defense
- the use of speech formulas and intonation means to maintain presence of mind and gain time to think about further steps in a situation of destructive criticism, manipulation or coercion.
8. Ignoring
- actions indicating that the addressee deliberately does not notice or does not take into account the words, actions or feelings expressed by the addressee.
9. Confrontation
- open and consistent opposition by the addressee of his position and his demands to the initiator of the influence.
10. Refusal
— expression by the addressee of his disagreement to fulfill the request of the initiator of the influence.
Trick No. 1 - if you want to “split” your interlocutor, look at him point-blank
If you are trying to find out some important information from your interlocutor, but you feel that he is being dishonest with you, trying to avoid answering, then hold direct eye contact with him until he reveals all his cards.
Staring is a subtle psychological trick that is a veiled form of attack. Peering into a person's eyes during a conversation, you seem to challenge him. At the same time, he subconsciously experiences fear and understands that in order to overcome it he needs to tell the truth.
Important clarification! If you want to get all the answers from the person you look straight into the eyes, don't utter a sound. Your face should look serious.
Trick #6 - Observe the group to determine how members relate to each other
Sociologists say that in moments of joy and general rejoicing, we look at those people with whom we really sympathize. Therefore, if you want to find out how close certain individuals are to each other, infiltrate their group and tell a funny incident or anecdote, and then determine who will look at whom at the moment of laughter.
Another interesting information is that we subconsciously strive to touch the person we sympathize with. Therefore, if you notice that people in a group are standing closer to each other than to others, you know that there is a strong emotional connection between them.
Trick #4 – Listen carefully to the person if you want him to trust you
Psychologists have proven the importance of a modern person having such a quality as the ability to listen. People like it when others understand and appreciate them. Therefore, if you want your interlocutor to sympathize and trust you, always pretend to be interested in his story.
A few simple tips:
- look carefully at the speaker;
- nod in agreement with him;
- take him by the hand if he is alarmed at the time of speech (appropriate only in some cases);
- mirror his pose;
- don't interrupt.
Following these rules will allow you to be on the same page with your interlocutor. At the same time, he will definitely trust you.
Trick #3 - Offer your friends a treat if they're having an argument.
This psychological trick is one of the classic ones. You may not know, but food, especially fatty and sweet foods, has a calming effect on the psyche. Moreover, almost all products and dishes from this category emit a strong smell, which will certainly distract those in conflict from each other.
So, to ease the tension between your friends (during an awkward acquaintance or quarrel), invite them to eat pizza, pasta, ice cream or another product that can be placed in the center of the table. A joint meal will bring your comrades closer together, and without noticing it themselves, they will begin to communicate, abstracting from the initial negativity.
Trick #5 – Identify Signs of Lying by Talking to Different People
There is a whole scientific direction in which questions of analysis of truth and lies are raised. It's called the “psychology of lying.”
How to understand that your interlocutor is lying? The first and most obvious sign of a dishonest person is that he will avoid direct eye contact with you.
Important! Psychologists have noticed that people who lie are afraid to look others in the eyes, as they assume that this will give them away.
Another clear sign of lying is a detailed description. When people try to hide something important, they begin to give bright colors to the little things in their story, thus masking the main thing.
Trick #8 – Hug a Sad Person
Psychologists have long proven that physical contact has a beneficial effect on a person’s mood. At the moment of a hug, our body produces a large amount of the hormone oxytocin, which has a positive effect on our mood; we feel more protected and joyful.
Therefore, if you want to console a loved one, just hug him. The slight bewilderment on his face, caused by surprise, will quickly give way to joy. He will smile and feel relieved.
When you hug, try to be sincere. But, if the interlocutor openly avoids you, you should not impose yourself on him. Be sensitive.
