There are situations when a young man shows sympathy for a representative of the fairer sex, he would like to be with her, but for her he is only a friend, nothing more. He doesn't understand what's happening. What are these relationships called and why do they arise? In this case, foreign psychologists determine the position of the young man in the girl’s friend zone.
Friend zone psychologist as he defines it
What is the friend zone for girls?
At first glance, it may seem that any two people who are friends are in the friend zone. But that's not true. The friend zone for girls is a special type of relationship that arises between her and a young man. In this relationship, the young man is in love, and she uses romantic feelings for selfish purposes.
Being in a girl’s friend zone, the lover suffers: he feels a consumerist attitude towards himself from his partner, but tender feelings for her do not allow him to put an end to the relationship. As a result, even in separation from her, he is unhappy, he looks forward to meeting her, and, having waited for the meeting, he also suffers, not receiving the desired response to his feelings.
Important! The friend zone is a special category of relationships for which the terms “friendship” and “love” do not apply. Rather, it is a parasitic type of relationship in which one partner uses the other.
Main features
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What is the friend zone for men? To do this, it is enough to look at the relationship from the outside.
She friendzonizes him
For men
- The main sign is the lady’s response to manifestations of tenderness and declaration of love: “Let’s remain friends.”
- The tendency of a dater to discuss feminine topics with a guy.
- A girl discusses her exes with her boyfriend, telling details of past relationships. The conversation smoothly turns to a discussion of the couple's mutual friends who she likes. She can touch on such topics on purpose (if she wants to get rid of her boyfriend, but cannot just send him away) or unintentionally (if the girl considers him her friend). The guy's indignation and dissatisfaction with such topics is incomprehensible to her. “We are friends!” she is surprised.
- Sudden cancellations of dates.
- The girl leaves the guy’s calls unanswered and when they meet, she doesn’t explain why she didn’t answer, instead she changes the subject.
- Relaxed communication in the virtual world with a guy is more pleasant for a girl than meeting in real time.
- A girl's avoidance of one-on-one dates. She prefers to take her friend to meet the guy or asks him to bring his friend.
- She avoids the topic of sex. According to the fairer sex, it’s still too early for sex.
Sex is taboo for her
For girls
What is the friend zone for women? A partner can recognize her unpromising attitude towards herself as a significant other by the following signs:
- The guy discusses his love affairs with the girl and expresses sympathy for her friends. Most often, the purpose of this behavior is to let the girl know that their romance will not work out. It is difficult for a young man to say directly about his lack of feelings, so he does everything to ensure that the girl leaves him.
- A constant reminder from the guy about his friendly relationship with the girl.
- Lack of gifts and congratulations on small dates that most couples celebrate.
- Offers to spend time with friends instead of a one-on-one date.
- The guy's positive attitude towards relationships without commitment.
What is the friend zone in men? This is a relationship in which the lady feels unwanted and suffers from lack of attention. Such relationships hurt a lot and give rise to many complexes.
He doesn't need her
Is it possible for a guy to get out of the friend zone?
By and large, there is a chance to get out of the friend zone. However, this will be very difficult to do. This will require a lot of time and patience.
Moreover, the longer the friendship with the girl lasted, the more difficult it will be to change the girl’s attitude towards this friendship.
When you have already established a warm, friendly relationship, the young lady begins to perceive you as a brother or girlfriend, so for her, even theoretically, to consider you as her boyfriend is unnatural. However, you shouldn’t be discouraged and give up because of this. It is important to understand for yourself that in reality you are not her brother at all, and certainly not her friend. You are, first of all, a man with whom pleasant romantic and passionate sexual relationships are possible. As soon as you begin to think correctly and determine your position, you will automatically formulate a plan to win the girl’s heart.
Reasons for getting into this position
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There are several reasons for falling into the “friend, but no more” category:
- The most common reason is the lack of physiological attraction to a partner, which arises as a result of a lack of flirting on the part of the young man. Perhaps the guy is modest by nature and doesn’t know how to flirt, but girls regard this as a lack of true interest in her as a lover.
- No touching of a woman's body. It happens that a guy is so sensitive to his girlfriend that he is afraid of offending her by touching his chest or kissing her neck. Hugging and stroking in the presence of other people can be regarded by a guy as dissolute behavior and lust, so he does not allow himself to do this. However, the weaker sex understands from a man’s touch on his body that it is sexually attractive to him. It is also important for a woman that a guy hugs and kisses her in the presence of his friends - for her this is confirmation of his serious intentions.
- Henpecked position. As soon as a lady begins to feel that she is the main one in the relationship, that the guy indulges her whims, and she can command him, she becomes not interested in him as a life partner. Women admire strong men. They like to feel in control. This does not mean that a man should ignore a woman’s opinion, but it is also impossible to recklessly fulfill a girl’s every whim.
Types of friend zone
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Many people have a boyfriend. Depending on the girls’ arguments, there are different options for a man to get into this humiliating position.
Just a friendship
Fallback option
Sometimes a woman may be in a relationship with a young man, but notice that this relationship is gradually fading away. If she breaks up, she will start an affair with one of the guys she keeps in the friend zone.
This scenario gives her the opportunity to be advantageous in the eyes of her previous partner, who abandoned her. The lady believes that if she sees her with someone else, her ex will be sorry that he broke up with her.
Moral benefit
The realization that someone is in love with a girl pleases her vanity. A man looks after her, shows her signs of attention, and she takes advantage of this, increasing her self-esteem.
Girls like to see that she is desired by a man. If she does not experience mutual feelings for him, then the relationship will not go beyond courtship: attempts to get closer will be rejected under the pretext of chastity. This is how she elevates herself in the eyes of a man.
Material benefit
Stereotypes of public consciousness prescribe a man to take on the financial side of organizing dates and meaningful leisure time with a girl.
Girls love to have fun: cinema, theaters, cafes, concerts. Having a boyfriend, she has fun at his expense, has a good time, and does not spend a penny from her budget. A guy in such a relationship is twice at a disadvantage: firstly, every date takes a toll on him, and secondly, in gratitude for the meaningful leisure time, he does not receive the desired intimate end to the date.
What is meant by a friend zone and why does it happen?
The friend zone is a situation in which one person has a crush on another, but the other person treats him just like a good friend. Such cases occur very often. They are tragic for a guy in love, since his feelings turn out to be unrequited, and it becomes unbearable to endure the constant status of a friend.
What provokes such a phenomenon in relationships as the friend zone? Why does a girl include a guy in her friends list and not consider him as a possible soul mate?
Lack of attraction to a guy
This is the most banal and common reason why a woman signs a man up as a friend. For the development of relationships, it is important that feelings for the opposite sex arise, namely falling in love, sexual attraction, passion.
She does not feel such emotions towards men with whom a woman is simply friends. They are shown respect, trust, friendly sympathy, but nothing more. However, you cannot build a romantic relationship with such baggage.
Fear of being rejected
Another reason for the occurrence of the friend zone is the usual fear of new connections with the opposite sex. Perhaps the girl had an unsuccessful personal experience in the past, so she cannot cope with her emotions and constantly keeps the guy in love at a distance, although in fact she is not against an alliance with him.
Self-doubt, shyness, and indecisiveness can also play a big role. If a woman has such qualities, it is difficult for her to step over herself and show her feelings for her partner. So she keeps him in the friend zone, postponing the relationship.
Friendship priority
If a girl feels good with a guy in a friendly relationship, she may simply be afraid of ruining everything. After all, friendship and love relationships are completely different things, and people reveal themselves in them differently. Often, people who were great friends, but over time decided to move to the next level, collapsed.
If a woman values a friend, she may neglect a romantic relationship with him, keeping him in the friend zone.
Fallback option
This is also a fairly common case. If it is clear that a man is in love, but at the moment there are other, better options, the girl may not push him away, but include him in her list of friends. Understanding perfectly the value of a comrade, she continues communication so that if something happens she does not remain completely alone.
Representatives of the fairer sex always strive to have a choice. And they enjoy attention and courtship from men; who would refuse them? It's rare for women to push away guys who show interest in them, because it greatly improves their self-esteem. Every young lady wants to be loved and desired.
All girls have a fear of being alone; this primarily explains the desire to keep a valuable person in reserve. And it doesn’t even matter at all whether he likes it or not.
How can a man get out of the friend zone?
It is difficult to take the relationship to a new level by achieving the girl’s favor while being in the position of a friend, but it is possible. To do this you need:
- It is necessary to show the girl sexual interest in her. Verbal arguments will be rejected, so you need to act through the body: an “accidental” touch on the thigh, touching the neck when you fasten her supposedly unfastened earring. Sensations in the body can make a woman’s brain work differently - if she is not frigid, then such “accidental” touches will awaken sexual desire in her.
Wants sex
- Any woman wants to see a strong man as her lover. Demonstrating self-confidence and his authority, the young man in the eyes of a woman turns from a guy-friend into a brutal man, and her interest in an affair with such a profitable partner increases.
- The sudden disappearance of a man will make a woman worry, because it is beneficial for her to have a guy as a friend. If he disappears from her life without warning, she begins to look for him herself: write on social networks, send SMS and call. This will play into the hands of a man who wants to achieve the role of a soul mate. When answering calls and messages, it is important for him to show that he is having a good time, while hinting that a woman has a chance to become his companion in the weekend entertainment program.
No lady will miss the opportunity to have fun on the weekend. When meeting a man, you need to follow the first two points.
Important! It is difficult to get out of the humiliating position of “just a friend.” Therefore, it is better not to get into it at all. If in a relationship a man positions himself as an alpha male, shows his sexual interest in a woman and awakens her reciprocal sexual desire, then he will not face the friend zone.
Love
Signs of the friend zone
She calls you "friend"
You can spend every day together, but the way she introduces you to her parents or friends is an important indicator of your status.
If you hear something like “This is Petya, my good friend,” you should be wary.
Although it was better than being introduced by her brother anyway.
She avoids being seen in public with you
You communicate with her so much during the day, but in the evening she doesn't have a free minute for you.
In addition, a girl is always busy and in a hurry to get somewhere if you meet her in a shopping center and offer to have a snack together.
At the same time, when the next day comes, you notice that she is still the same sweet and smiling friend.
She tells you about other guys
Perhaps this is the worst fate of prisoners of the friend zone - listening to her heart-warming stories about other men who attract her attention, and you have nothing to do with this caste.
Threesome date
You invited a girl in hopes of going on a date, but she brings a friend or another friend with her?
If this happened once, maybe an accident intervened, but if the situation repeats itself, there is no doubt: the friend zone is your everything.
An invitation to a movie or a coffee shop that turns into a group event without your knowledge is one of the female tactics to tell a guy, “I'm not interested in you as a man,” without saying a word.
No interest even under the influence of alcohol
Finally, you resorted to a vile trick, getting the girl drunk on strong cocktails, but she still doesn’t want to have anything serious with you.
It’s a bad sign, and it’s a waste of money...
There is no physical contact between you
It should be added that we are not talking about hugs. If you hug a girl every time you see her, this does not at all signal the presence of sexual attraction.
She doesn't try to look better around you
When you meet, is she always in faded jeans, without makeup or earrings? Not very promising behavior on her part.
Joint shopping
If you're invited to give advice on purchasing underwear, that's one thing.
But if a girl needs you as a slave who follows her like a dog on a leash throughout the shopping center, carrying shopping bags in his courageous hands, your prospects are very, very gloomy.
Cute nicknames
What could be worse than allowing the object of your affection to call you names in the presence of others, “This is my familiar cuckoo”?
She needs your advice
She asks for advice on what is most important for a man in a woman. And it’s unlikely that this man means you.
She is clearly interested in another guy and is wondering how to attract him.
Co-sleeping and nothing more
If you managed to share a bed with a girl, but there was no hint of tactile exercises, then “a faithful friend” is about you.
You are her faithful shoulder
Do you console a girl every time life trips her up?
Are you really the person she sits next to on the couch and cries convulsively, constantly wondering why everything went wrong?
