Less than a month before Germany's presidency of the European Union, Chancellor Angela Merkel refused to continue the line of strategic partnership in relations between the EU and Russia. Instead, the politician proposed limiting interaction to peaceful coexistence. How this will affect relations between Russia and the EU - in the material of Izvestia.
Common sense: against the backdrop of COVID-19, Germany called for sanctions to be lifted from Russia
The Bundestag will raise the issue of lifting restrictions to jointly fight coronavirus
Why should you be friends with his friends:
- No woman can replace a man's friends. It's a fact, just accept it;
- The opinion of a social group important to a person always influences his subconscious judgment. And it’s better that this opinion be positive;
- The desire for dominance and superiority among males is inherent in genetics. And, if his friends like you, he by default takes it for slight envy and lives with a sense of accomplishment;
- Good relationships with your man’s friends can also save you from many difficulties: finding your loved one when his phone is dead or the meeting has been delayed, helping you hint at the gift you want for the holiday, etc.
What to do to make friends:
- When meeting people, try to remember all the names, and in conversation address your friends personally by name. Be interested in their hobbies and show interest in the conversation;
- Give compliments. This affects men much more than women;
- Demonstrate a sense of humor and knowledge of the subject of conversation (if you know it, of course), but never show strong superiority;
- Don't flirt with them. You can't go too far. Otherwise, instead of respect, you will cause yourself a disdainful attitude;
- Invite them over and set the table. Firstly, you show that you let them into your territory, and, secondly, you show care by preparing dinner;
- Do not quarrel with your loved one in front of them and under no circumstances criticize your husband in his absence. After all, friends, after all, care about their friend, and, in addition, this will be perceived as duplicity: they say, if you talk about your dear one like that, what will you say about them themselves when the door closes.
- The most important thing is to let your husband go to meet his friends. Do you know what will definitely come late and drunk? But the next day he will fulfill all your whims and will be calm all week. Everyone needs a release. Shops for you, “beer with the men” for him.
Each of us wants to love and be loved, but not everyone succeeds. What's the problem? Psychologists help answer this question by compiling a list of rules that must be followed in order to maintain and improve relationships with people close to you.
1. You should know what your other half thinks about your relationship. You don't want to fall in love with someone who isn't going to be honest with you, do you?
2. Don't confuse love and sex. Often at the beginning of a relationship, sex and passion are mistaken for love.
3.You need to know what you want from the relationship and talk about it openly with your partner. Many men and women are afraid to speak openly about their desires and try to hide them. The result is a feeling of disappointment because you are not getting what you want. Relationships are not a guessing game. Intimacy is not possible without honesty.
4.You must be one team. Having different skills, abilities and capabilities, you must strive for the same goal.
5. Learn to respect your partner along with all his differences from you. No two people are the same. And life is interesting because we are all different.
6.You shouldn’t put up with your partner’s shortcomings. Ideal people do not exist, and a lot depends on how we treat the shortcomings of others: put up with them, try to correct them. If you are not satisfied with something, then speak about it openly. Let your partner explain why he is doing this. Only then can you come to an agreement.
7.Solve all problems as soon as they appear. If you put off solving problems for too long, they will turn into an avalanche that will not leave a trace of your relationship.
8. Learn to negotiate. The times when parents chose the bride are gone. Now the culture of relations between a man and a woman plays a much smaller role than before. Everything depends on you.
9.Learn to listen to your partner. Then he will have a feeling of support.
10. Work on creating a sense of intimacy. Intimacy never appears on its own. When it is not there, people become uninteresting to each other.
11.Share your plans for the future with each other. Don't look at marriage as an agreement that will ensure you spend the rest of your lives together.
12. Watch your personal hygiene. The role she plays in your relationship cannot be underestimated.
13. Don't forget about sex. This is one of the important elements of your relationship. Talking under the same blanket after good sex creates a feeling of intimacy.
14.Never go to bed if you have negative feelings. Try to get rid of them before bed.
15. Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness. Each of us makes mistakes, and the sooner you can correct them, the better.
16.You must depend on each other, but this dependence should not be in everything. Complete dependence on your partner makes both unhappy.
17. Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. It will be easier for your other half to love you if you love yourself.
18. Decorate your relationship with new interests. Try some sport that none of you have done before.
19.Collaborate with each other. Share responsibilities. The more honest your cooperation is, the closer your relationship will be.
20. Take your health seriously. Good health is the key to the success of any relationship.
Based on Psychology Today
Prepared by Alexander Timoshik
A complete collection of materials on the topic: how to improve relationships with friends? from experts in their field.
Friends always support you in difficult times. They encourage you when everything seems lost, and they rejoice with you when your life brings a pleasant surprise. How to improve relationships with friends if suddenly a black cat runs between you? To keep your friends from leaving you, you need to constantly nourish your relationship.
Why do some couples live together and get married, while others separate?
Demographer Patrick Ishizuka of Cornell University analyzed the histories of more than five thousand couples who lived together and determined what influenced the outcome of their relationships.
Whether lovers should live together before marriage or not is one of those rare questions that divides society almost exactly in half. A February poll by VTsIOM showed that 45% of Russians do not approve of such relationships, and 46% of the country’s residents do not see anything reprehensible in this. To opponents, cohabitation seems like a decline in family foundations; to supporters, it seems like a new norm. But no matter what anyone thinks, lovers really are increasingly living under the same roof, without getting married or registering.
How money affects love.
Cohabitation is different from marriage, but what patterns there are in such unions is not really clear. This is what demographer Ishizuka decided to look into. The first thing he found out was that cohabitation does not last long. In four years together, only every fifth couple did not change anything, and the rest either got married to the delight of each other and the champions of traditional values, or separated. In each case, there would be a lot of reasons why life turned out this way and not otherwise. But Ishizuka was looking for something in common and for this, without unnecessary sentimentality, he focused on economic indicators: income, employment, property, savings, level of education of partners.
Sociologists have linked family well-being to work and money before, but in different ways. One hypothesis is that cordial unions are strengthened by economic specialization, where partners share responsibilities and do what they do best. For example, one is career-focused, the other is home-focused. In this case, in addition to specialization, the bond will be income inequality, which, in theory, permeates the relationship with feelings of devotion and duty.
Another hypothesis suggests that the outcome of a relationship depends on whether the man copes with the role of provider. A woman in the workplace has not surprised anyone for a long time, and the old stereotype that a man should provide for the family is still alive. When a man does not live up to expectations, his dignity is affected. Life does not satisfy him, he becomes nervous and often sticks out his masculinity to compensate for defeat on another front. Not every woman will be delighted with this.
The third hypothesis is based on the fact that the total income of the couple is especially important: what difference does it make who earns more if there is not enough money. And when there is little money, quarrels begin, both people experience stress - this is not good for the relationship. Finally, according to the fourth hypothesis, the “marriage bar” is important - a certain standard of living that is associated with a family: a magnificent wedding with a beautiful wedding dress, a house, a car, savings. If partners have reached this level, then they have a good chance of staying together.
What we found out about the roommates in love.
All of these hypotheses are plausible, but there are two problems with them. First, sociologists developed them in relation to marriages, not cohabitations. Secondly, when they began to check them, the results were contradictory. For example, a study in the Netherlands found that differences in income undermined relationships, but in the United States there was no relationship between these indicators at all. In Canada and the Netherlands, high family income strengthened marriage, but in the United States, on the contrary, poverty was sometimes the bond.
To check how things really stand with cohabiting couples, Ishizuka took questionnaires from the US Census Bureau for the years 1996–2013 and selected about 5.3 thousand couples. It turned out that if a woman earned more money, this was not an obstacle to marriage. But a significant difference in income - no matter in whose favor - often led to separation.
Specialization, when one partner was busy with his career and the other with his home, did not strengthen the relationship: the difference in the number of working hours for both those who separated and those who got married was approximately the same. But among married cohabitants, both spouses were more likely to work full-time. The role of the male breadwinner is becoming a thing of the past, and the stereotype cannot keep up with it.
The hypotheses about total income were confirmed. Those who got married had significantly higher total income than others, and they were more likely to own housing and financial assets. At the same time, income growth increased the chance of getting married only until they reached the “marriage bar,” that is, an amount greater than half of American families. Having exceeded this mark, income influenced the outcome of the relationship in a less clear-cut way.
Ishizuka discovered other patterns as well. Women with higher education had a greater chance of getting married, but if a girl was a full-time student at a university, her chances of getting married dropped. And for men, in order to find a spouse, it was good to at least finish school. Government benefits for the poor increased the risk of separation. Common children cemented unions, while stepsons and stepdaughters undermined them. Finally, overall, the likelihood that cohabitors will get married decreased by 28% from 1996 to 2008, but the risk of separation also fell by 16%: more and more Americans are choosing to simply live together without observing formalities.
WHAT IS IN RUSSIA?
“In Russia in recent years, the marriage rate (the process of forming married couples - TASS note) is associated with the economic situation in the country. During the crisis, the number of marriages decreased by about 10%, and as soon as the recovery began last year, this figure immediately increased.
In our country people get married mainly to have children. That’s why the crisis has had such an impact: people assume that it is better to give birth to a child in quiet times. If one of the partners has lost their job or is afraid that they will soon lose it, then the couple will probably not decide to have children. This can be seen from the birth rate statistics, which dropped noticeably last year (the birth rate changes with a delay relative to the marriage rate).
In the West, especially in Scandinavia, there is no such strict connection between marriage and having children: more couples postpone this matter until later or give birth outside of marriage. We also have quite a lot of such families, but not so many. And America, it seems to me, is somewhere in the middle between liberal European countries and Russia” - Andrey Korotaev, leading researcher at the Laboratory of Political Demography at the Higher School of Economics.
Why do people live without registering?
Ishizuka showed that behind cohabitation there is something more than just desire, much less promiscuity. Perhaps the views of people who decide to move in together are less traditional, they value equality between men and women - this is also indicated in other studies. Relationships between cohabitants are built not on bargaining, as in the days of powerless housewives, but on cooperation. And the younger people are, the more often they share the ideals of equality.
But Ishizuka also discovered another, unsightly side of cohabitation. Marriage is gradually becoming the privilege of wealthy people, while the poor can only rent a corner. The less educated you are and the less you earn, the less likely you are to exchange rings with someone and the higher the risk of losing your loved one. When people simply live under the same roof, they are less dependent on each other economically than in marriage. Only in conditions of growing wealth stratification does this not necessarily make them freer and happier.
Source
How to improve relationships with friends
Take the first step towards a friend. There is no point in walking around with your head down because everyone has forgotten about you. Perhaps the core of the problem is that you cannot take the initiative.
Analyze your relationships with friends, who usually calls first and organizes meetings. To improve relationships with friends, do not wait until a friend asks you to go somewhere or talk, such a moment may not come. The less initiative you take, the greater the likelihood that your relationship with your friend will deteriorate.
Make some traditional appointments. Let's say that in your student days you had a fun company, but now it has broken up. You can set a traditional date when you can meet.
For example, it could be the last Saturday of the month or the first day of the season. It all depends on your desire and capabilities.
Another sure way to improve relationships with friends is to start making friends with families. The most common reason why friends move away is the new family life of each of them. Work, marriage, children - all this naturally changes the attitude towards oneself and towards friends.
Call your girlfriend or boyfriend and invite them to go somewhere with their families. At your next meeting, you will have an excellent opportunity for discussion. After some time, you will completely forget how you could have spent your free weekends differently.
Also consider the financial situation of your friends. There is no need to invite them to a fancy and expensive restaurant if you know for sure that your friends are having financial difficulties. This can upset them and cause unpleasant emotions. They will begin to communicate with you less often, and then completely disappear from your life.
If you see that the reason for your separation was serious, do not accumulate all the negativity in yourself and do not put it off until tomorrow. Understand for yourself what exactly you expect from a newfound relationship, what you could give in order to re-establish relationships with friends, and what your friend should understand.
Always remember - vindictiveness does not lead to anything good. Remembering conflicts will not result in reconciliation. If relationships are important to you, sincerely show your friends that you really need them. Have a heart-to-heart chat with your best friend or girlfriend, tell them that you really miss your former friendship.
Just friends
It is believed that sexual attractiveness excludes friendship (for both homosexuals and heterosexuals). This is the basis of the famous movie When Harry Met Sally, and it is also reinforced, at least from a male point of view, by the results of a 2001 study conducted by April Bleske-Reczek of the University of Wisconsin.
It turns out that men are physically and sexually attracted to their female friends, and they tend to overestimate how they treat them. Many have friends of the opposite sex, and all of them are ready to swear that there is no attraction. Well, even if there is a little bit, what’s wrong with that? Such situations seem harmless, but it is still worth setting and re-evaluating some boundaries, especially if the sympathy is not mutual.
Make a list of all the friends you can meet. Plan to spend time with them and don't change your plans.
Imagine yourself at a party in the company of the object of unrequited love. Turn away from it, look at the potential opportunities around you, try not to miss them.
There's probably a reason you're in love. If intimacy with the object of passion holds you back from a real relationship, then think about what you are afraid of. If necessary, discuss this in detail with a therapist.
Many people experienced something similar in childhood, falling in love with a pop star - it was the safest way to experience feelings of affection. But in adult life it is better to get rid of this.
How to strengthen friendship
How often can you hear: “He is my friend!” Friend. Sometimes there is no such person closer. A relationship with him is a friendship. She, like friends, can be different. Friendships start by chance, but can last a lifetime if you know how to strengthen the friendship.
Friendship does not tolerate insincerity. Be sincere with those you are friends with. Try never to say something you don't mean. And if you have already said or promised, then keep your word. If you can't do something, say so honestly and directly.
Make time for friends. Take a moment to strengthen your friendship: call and ask how you are doing, ask about your health. Write a letter if someone is far away. Be interested in their lives, the lives of their loved ones. Don't forget to wish happy holidays. Make it clear that they and their friendship are important to you.
Don't betray! If they trust you, then let all information remain confidential. If they tell you about their problems, it means they trust you and value your opinion. Once you lose trust, it is impossible to get it back.
Make a decision to love.
Attraction usually adds spark to a love relationship. Then the excitement wanes and the warm feelings diminish unless both partners make a meaningful effort to renew their feelings.
- Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love for each other will maintain and enhance feelings for both partners.
- On the other hand, not expressing love sometimes harms your relationship.
- If you want a long-lasting, successful relationship, you must take care of your partner's emotional health, even if it's not easy. This means sharing your feelings with him, in joy and difficulty, when it is most needed and when least expected.
Be romantic.
Romance is very important, at least some of the time. Candles, dim lighting, compliments, stargazing, watching a sunset or sunrise, watching fireworks, a romantic bubble bath, shower, romantic dinner are good ideas. Add a little romance to what you do or some of the places you go.
- You should have a certain song, movie or phrase that is “only yours”, that you share only with your partner. This will not only bring you together, but will also create intimacy.
- Do the unexpected. Plan your dates in every way. But on special occasions, surprise your partner. Surprises require thoughtfulness. They will show your lover that you care about him.
- Show your love.
Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle with your partner, put your arm around their shoulders or waist. Get really close, you should be comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (heart, thoughts, soul) with your partner, not just your body.
- Look your partner in the eyes. When you talk or are simply together, create a connection with his soul through your eyes.
- Give a little praise every now and then. Don't make it a necessity, but praise your partner's accomplishments and let others know how much you appreciate their accomplishments.
Don't be afraid to show your feelings in public. Hold your partner's hand, kiss him on the cheek; don't worry about what others think as long as you know your lover feels your appreciation.
Ask for forgiveness, forgive and make peace. If you threaten to break up after another fight, you will never truly solve the problem. Stop thinking about breaking up. Talk about disagreements until the problem is resolved and you both feel comfortable to continue the relationship.
- Don't generalize when arguing. Words like "always" and "all the time" can make your partner feel like they're always doing something wrong. Talk about specific cases and try not to exaggerate their size.
Talk about the good as well as the bad. Start with how you love your partner and how you strive to do everything to maintain the relationship. Then say what you don't like, if there is one. This will not make your partner become defensive.
When your partner shares or trusts you with something (emotionally or physically), especially if it involves another person, resist the urge to discuss details with anyone without permission. You should treat this as something special, personal, private between you, out of respect for your partner. Relationships are built between two people - you and your partner, and no one else. Do not involve others in personal details, no matter how close they may be to you.
Remember that feelings may weaken and change over time.
There may be times when you are less aware of your love and more aware of your own interests, perhaps even too selfishly. In times like these, you have to remember how many wonderful things you have done together and still want to do.
- It's normal if your feelings for your partner change as the relationship progresses. In a couple of years, passion will give way to trust and devotion. This does not mean that you are no longer in love, it means that your love has become more mature.
Develop trust
- Develop trust at all levels.
Mutual trust is based on respect and loyalty of partners to each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and define your perspectives in terms of your differences and try to understand everyone's point of view.
- In some cases, it is better to simply accept differences of opinion or different ways of doing things. We are all different, and that's okay. You don't want to go on dates with yourself, right?
Forcing your partner to do anything they don't want, disrespecting or abusing you (emotionally, verbally, physically) damages your ability to trust and rely on each other.
Make sure you do things that grow your relationship. Really getting to know each other and building a relationship requires strength and patience. Talk on the phone daily and try to see each other at least 2-4 times a week.
Spend time apart sometimes.
Devote your time to a hobby. Just make sure that no other relationship or pastime is pushing your partner out of the top priority.
- Focus on loving yourself. If you love yourself, your partner will love you even more. Do things for yourself that show self-respect.
Don't neglect your friends. Many people get into a relationship and then reject their friends and feel lonely when/if the relationship ends. Don't reject your friends, they will help you find yourself or keep you grounded while you are in a relationship.
Be there when it's good, bad, sad, when you're happy - at any moment. Be emotionally open when your partner needs it. We go through a lot of turmoil and difficulty in everyday life, and knowing that you are loved helps you feel more comfortable, more confident, inspiring and helps you accept things more easily.
- Listen. Sometimes all we need is someone who can listen to problems or someone attentive enough to listen to a whole tirade. It's simple but wise.
If your partner pushes away your attempts to reassure him/her and doesn't want to talk about it, leave the conversation until he/she is in a better mood to revisit the issue.
This is a kind of insult. If your partner speaks to you, respond with empathy. Never remain silent or avoid him.
- Make sure you are able to recognize manipulation in a relationship. If you find this type of behavior in your relationship, think seriously about whether you can overcome it and how destructive it is to your relationship. Unfortunately, most of these relationships remain that way. Here are some signs to look out for: You feel guilty
when confronted with his/her behavior. Does he/she reject criticism by saying that you are not loving/doing/helping enough?
You are being shamed
or
bullied
by your partner to get what they want. Does your partner then try to turn the offensive remarks into a joke, criticizing you for taking them seriously?
their bad behavior with excuses that are somewhat inappropriate. Your partner apologizes more than he takes action.
. Your partner is unable to admit a mistake by denying their existence.
Your wants and needs are just as important as your partner's. If you don't give anything in return, you get nothing. Ask yourself when making minor or major decisions:
- Is this solution suitable for both of you and
your relationship? A decision that suits you but has a negative impact on your relationship will obviously not make things any easier.
Your solution is suitable for the short term, but not for the long term. You may want immediate returns from the relationship, but if that doesn't bring anything positive to your relationship, consider other options.
Relationships with your in-laws or your parents' parents may not be the easiest, but if you want to maintain a relationship with your spouse/partner, you need to maintain a relationship with them too.
- Don't try to look for mistakes. We tend to ignore the shortcomings of our own parents, but find them in our partner's parents. Try to break this chain. Before judging, give parents on both sides the benefit of the doubt.
Try to go with the flow. Resist the need for constant monitoring from your partner's relatives. Try to do as they say. Adapt. Bend in the wind, but don't break!
Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other relatives, not friends, not co-workers, not couples whose relationship seems perfect. Each couple has its own laws of love, agreements, habits, routines, etc. Just focus on you as a couple and improving your relationship.
Communicate Effectively
- Chat on absolutely any topic.
Discuss everything thoroughly and meaningfully from time to time. Discuss what's going on in your life now: social life, studies or relationships with family, learn about each other's past and childhood.
- Celebrate achievements, encourage goals and aspirations, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, desires, hopes and dreams. Explore each other's inner and outer worlds.
Ask questions. Ask your partner about his/her life, past, life. There is nothing more endearing than being sincerely interested in your partner’s life, and nothing more strengthens a relationship.
- Share even simple things. Sometimes it's good to say what you're thinking, as long as you don't do it all the time. This can help your partner feel closer to you and in the know.
- Make constant efforts in maintaining your relationship.
Work on them. Work hard to keep them positive, uplifting, healthy, and the best they can be.
- Discuss with your partner what aspects of your relationship you can change for the better. Improve the areas you both agree on.
Try to do at least one nice thing for your partner every day. It could be a simple message, some kind of errand, smiles or a kiss.
- Don't yell at each other.
Yelling won't solve anything. This will only increase tension between you and will probably create more problems than it solves.
- Everything works better if everyone has a say. This means that you listen to what your partner is saying and respond when he/she listens.
If your partner yells at you, calmly let him know that yelling won't help and ask him to listen to your point of view.
- Be honest with each other.
True, emotionally intimate relationships require honest communication. Having secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be intimidating, but if you want your relationship to work, you both have to believe in it.
- Never cheat or betray. Whatever you do behind your partner's back, imagine that he/she can do the same to you. Treat your partner the way you want him/her to treat you.
Tell your partner if something is bothering you. Ask your partner to speak up if something is bothering him/her. Expect honesty from your partner, assuming that he/she expects the same in return.
- Love yourself.
- There are always places to go and things to do together on a date, so be creative and look around for ideas.
- Typically, attraction lasts a total of 2 years. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship lasts 2 years or more, there is a chance that things are serious.
- Always be yourself and be willing to compromise in order to help your relationship grow together.
- Be open with each other and tell your partner if you are offended by what was said.
- Always be creative in bed.
- Listen to your feelings, but don't forget about your mind.
- Make it a tradition to have a date on Saturday or Friday (basically weekly dates). This always works: at university, in college and beyond.
- Use a variety of resources to help your relationship: books, relationship therapists, counselors, psychologists.
- Remember that if you are in a relationship, everything you do and every place you go together is essentially a date. Have fun and bond with each other.
