How to be positive: basic personality traits, advice from psychologists: Labuda.blog

02/01/2019 Zoryan Freidovich Psychology

It is impossible to be a successful, sought-after person or become a magnet for good, positive events if you start every day with negative thoughts and allow yourself to be carried away by life's difficulties. Not everyone is born with the ability to think positively in all situations, but even an inveterate pessimist can develop an optimistic attitude. You just need to tune in to a long process and learn to enjoy each new victory over your old, dull self.

Why is it important to be cheerful?

A positive person, first of all, is a free, independent person. She is motivated to achieve and has a plan for moving towards her goal. Positive people rarely get sick and, having the same 24 hours in a day as other people, manage to put much more meaning into each day they live than others do into their somehow drawn-out month.

Everyone has noticed that next to a person whose life spirit always sounds on high notes, there are never embittered, gloomy friends or soul mates. The fact is that pessimists, whose deformed energy field is inactive, cannot withstand the strongest energy of positive people and prefer to keep their distance. Therefore, optimists are often surrounded by acquaintances who share their views on life and together form a close-knit team of like-minded people.

How to understand your capabilities

How to be positive? People cannot live at the same pace, but often they themselves do not know at what speed they can move forward. This results in inflated demands on oneself or, conversely, an underestimation of the volume of tasks to the level of “like that guy.” To catch his own dynamics of growth, a person needs to temporarily let go of control over his life - stop taking an active part in all events at once.

For a week or two, you should carry out your normal duties at work and at home, but without focusing on responsibility for what is not within the scope of necessary manipulations. After a while, the body itself will make it clear about the degree of activity deficiency and the pace can be increased - and so on until it develops its own norm, which is no longer recommended to be crossed.

How does toxic positivity manifest itself and where does it come from?

You can recognize her by the following phrases:

Downplaying the scale of troubles: “Well, big deal, they fired me! There’s no need to hang your nose, I’ll quickly find a new job!”
Simplifying the situation: “Just don’t worry!”, “Relax and think about good things!”
Denial of responsibility for everything bad that happens: “I am very capable, but I didn’t pass the exam because the teacher didn’t like me.”
Shifting the solution to problems onto some abstract forces: “Everything will work out somehow, you’ll see!”, “Just believe in the good, and everything will come by itself!”
Shifting full responsibility for what is happening onto the person: “Everything is in your hands!”, “You just need to try and work hard, then everything will work out.”

We behave this way because of a defense mechanism of the psyche: we instinctively want to isolate ourselves from bad events, hide from negative emotions. We also simply don’t know how to support either ourselves or others and don’t think too much about whether there is something behind the words spoken.

Live in the present

How to be positive? Give up long excursions into the past and try to guess less often about tomorrow. What happened yesterday cannot be changed, and future events are determined precisely by the current moment that is happening at this minute. Therefore, you should focus all your attention on the present and solve, first of all, current problems, and not those that are in the distant future.

A person should always pay attention to the feelings that occupy him at the moment. If you are sad now, then you need to figure out why, and be sure to devote at least a few minutes to your feeling to the detriment of other matters. By putting aside his immediate needs (even if it’s just the need to talk, cry, drink tea), a person learns to push himself into the background.

Take responsibility for your life

Positive development is impossible without taking responsibility for your choice, because in the case when the decision comes from another person, the feeling of satisfaction from the execution of this decision also has to be divided in two. A person needs to recognize that what happens in his life is the result of his own filter. And then he won’t have to waste time and mental energy looking for those to blame if something went wrong, or jealously hide his success from other participants in a successful choice.

True, there is one serious nuance. Yes, a person has the right to choose what to do, but he is not responsible for someone else’s choice that influenced his life, or force majeure events that mixed up all the optimistic plans. Therefore, you should clearly separate the concepts of responsibility for your decisions and responsibility for correcting errors that arose as a result of third-party factors. In the second case, the situation is considered and decided from the point of view of “I do what I can, what I can’t, I don’t do.” And feelings of guilt should not arise.

How to become a positive and cheerful woman

To become a positive and cheerful woman, you need to gradually change your thinking.
This is best dealt with by affirmations or otherwise positive daily attitudes. This method best copes with negative thoughts by influencing the subconscious level. Positive daily focus allows you to focus your thoughts and energy with a plus sign. It is necessary to set yourself up every day only for positive emotions using the following settings:

I am proud of myself and my achievements!
I am a successful woman/girl! - For
I'm getting stronger day by day!
Today everything will be fine for me!
Joy and happiness overwhelm me!
I'm beautiful and slim!
Love, kindness and a positive attitude haunt me!
I am a unique person and every action I take is correct!
The past is left behind, I have only a bright future ahead of me!
I love my life and radiate extremely positive emotions!

Meditation practice also involves a relaxed state.
Words and phrases must be spoken consciously, slowly and clearly, so that they penetrate deep into the subconscious. If this is a morning ritual, then it is better to say the attitude towards beauty and confidence out loud in front of the mirror in order to notice and see how beautiful, slim and charming you are. Consider every feature, convince yourself, see how ideal and unique nature has created you. If you program your consciousness using affirmations in the evening, it is better to do it lying down with your eyes closed. A woman can independently construct affirmation phrases as she needs. The main morning message should contain all the positive beliefs, all the power of love for yourself and your actions. A woman must strive for everything that is bright, kind and pure, and let go of negative energy.

Due to positive attitudes, a girl can transform her life, because... our attitude to the situation shapes consciousness. Find the positive in any circumstance. After all, what seems like a bad streak now will turn out to be a springboard to happiness and peace of mind in the future.

Create thoughts on your own to lift your mood, do training, improve your affirmations. Every time a woman begins to think positively, her subconscious attitude towards the world around her changes, and you become a little happier.

If we talk about a woman with a child, then such attitudes become an even more important moment in life. After all, in order to make children happy, you need to share your love, but how to do this if the mother lacks self-love. It is important to constantly remind yourself that you are unique and unrepeatable, that everything that happens in life is for the better.

Get out of your comfort zone

Among the most frequently encountered positive advice, the formula “leave your comfort zone” is in first place. What does it mean? Some psychologists consider leaving a state of comfort as a series of steps beyond the limits of yesterday’s self, however, in order to develop a positive attitude, it is not at all necessary and even dangerous to step over your “I don’t want to.”

A person should consider any action that is not included in his algorithm of daily movement in a circle from two positions: “I’m interested in this” or “I’m not interested in this.” And even if everyone jumps with a parachute, but he alone is not at all excited about it, there will be little benefit from such self-overcoming. But for something that arouses interest and a sea of positive emotions, even at the mere thought of trying, learning, experiencing, you don’t need to spare any resources. Such motivation will be useful for the formation of positive thinking for a long time and will leave a desire to lift the canopy of the unknown from time to time.

What is Toxic Positivity?

The call to think positively is often misunderstood and the whole idea is reduced to template slogans: “Nothing terrible happened”, “You need to be happy, because there are so many reasons to be happy in your life!”, “Negative thoughts attract negative events, and you send the right signal to the Universe !”
Psychologists call this approach Toxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright SideToxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright Side toxic positivity, and it doesn't lead to anything good. At the same time, real positive thinking really brings benefits, for example, it reduces The power of positive thinking: Pathological worry is reduced by thought replacement in Generalized Anxiety Disorder, helps to believe in oneself and learn new skills, reduces The Power of Positive Thinking the risk of developing cardiovascular disease diseases. Therefore, it is worth distinguishing one type of positivity from another.

Change behavior tactics

Another important point in thinking about how to be positive relates to what psychologists call repetitive life situations. This is when a person seems to be haunted throughout life by the same failures that arise in the interpretation of different events and persons. You can influence this state of affairs only by changing your own strategy of behavior in an area that will certainly lead to disappointment.

An unfinished situation, abandoned in the form in which it still represents a problem, is sure to return, such is the law of the Universe. For example, if a young person drops out of school every time he fails an exam the first time, he will invariably face this problem again and again and never receive an education. What is the way out of this? To end a painful situation, to take one step further than was possible before, or even to go in the wrong direction instead of the other - this depends on the circumstances.

What is positivity - definitions and meanings

Let's look at what positivity means? Because when we get the definition, it becomes easier for us to understand the meaning.

Positive and negative directions are directions that lead to different results. Which direction will you choose?

Positivity is everywhere

Definition and meaning of positivity

Positivity means thinking optimistically, finding solutions, expecting good results and success, and being focused and committed to making life happier. It is a happy and carefree state of mind that looks on the bright side of life.

Positivity means having a positive attitude of mind.

With this frame of mind, you don't take everything too personally.
You are enjoying the present moment.
You are not worried about the future.
You focus on doing and achieving rather than thinking about the past and future and difficulties.
It means the state of being happy, tolerant and good-natured.

Ozhegov's dictionary defines the word positive as a synonym for the word positive, which means “agreement, approval, approval.”

Positivity and your emotions

Positivity within us
Emotions associated with positivity are joy, love and inspiration. A person with this state of mind chooses constructive and good feelings and emotions and also tries to avoid negative and unhappy feelings.

It may not be easy at first, but with a little practice it becomes possible.

Positivity and your thoughts

Positivity is far away
Thoughts associated with positivity are thoughts of success, self-esteem and confidence.

The mind of such a person prefers to think in phrases “I can”, “it is possible”, “I am doing everything possible to improve myself and my life.”

How to increase positivity in your life

Positivity with us
You need to make an effort to increase positivity in your life to counteract the negativity. A little more optimism, love and happy thoughts will help you in this regard. Do something positive every day to improve your life and the lives of others. All of this will undoubtedly contribute to a steady increase in positivity in your life.

Every evening, sit down and think, what thoughts and emotions did you experience that day? Were there more positive or negative thoughts and emotions? Think about what you can do tomorrow to increase positivity in your life.

When you fill your day with more constructive, optimistic, and happy thoughts and emotions, and take positive actions every day to make your life better, you will immediately understand what positivity is and how to increase it in your life.

Are you able to maintain positivity in your life? If yes, then how? Share your observations with us.

Let's look for the Benefit in everything and make the world a happier place.

Both the world and we deserve it.

Find yourself

To follow this positive advice from psychologists, a person must first decide what makes him happy now and whether it is possible to project his desire to do what he loves for the rest of his life. Does it generate income? Will this still be relevant in 5, 10 years?

You can conduct such a test - imagine yourself 5-7 years from now and describe the image that arises in a few precise phrases. As a rule, people see themselves as a successful, fashionably dressed person in an interesting profession, a leadership position, or working for themselves. Then the subject needs to answer the question: how much does the resulting picture correspond to the direction in which he is currently working? Is it possible, for example, from a postman without great ambitions to turn into the head of a pharmaceutical company?

You should discard the illusion that your whole life is still ahead: you need to start immediately, as soon as you become aware of your future self. There is no need to cut yourself some slack - wait until the desired vacancy finds its hero or the spouse, who is dragging you down with his pessimism, suddenly withdraws. You need to leave a bad job, remove people who hinder you from moving forward from your life without regret.

Decision is action, that’s the whole formula of the turning mechanism, which is capable of moving mountains on the path to success.

What does toxic positivity lead to?

You forbid yourself to experience emotions

With such phrases you block your real feelings. You push pain, anger, resentment, melancholy and disappointment deeper and replace them with cardboard positivity. This does not go away without a trace: ignoring real emotions makes us feel unhappy and leads Stress generation, avoidance coping, and depressive symptoms: a 10‑year model to depression.

You devalue other people's feelings and problems

If a person complains about something, he wants to be heard, his emotions recognized and sympathized with. Template phrases like “Don’t think about the bad”, “Everything will definitely work out” will not truly console him. They will only force him to believe that his own experiences and difficulties do not matter, that no one understands him and that in general he is somehow wrong for having such strong feelings about such a trivial matter.

You avoid solving the problem

Let's imagine a situation: a person passed an interview, but was not hired. He can analyze why this happened, improve the skills he lacks, and go study. Or he might wave his hand and say: “Everything is for the better! I’m wonderful, but my employer is just a fool.”

There is a possibility that the candidate is truly an excellent specialist, and his potential boss did not act very wisely. But it cannot be ruled out that a person has room to grow, but because of such an attitude towards the problem, he will not do this.

You may get stuck in an unhealthy relationship.

“This is not out of malice, he is a good person, you need to forgive him,” “She has the best intentions, she’s just a complex character, it’s better not to hold a grudge and make peace.” If you are repeatedly hurt, being positive about the situation (i.e. ignoring it) can be costly. You will constantly forgive offenders, meet them halfway, convince yourself that everything is fine, and you will be stuck in an unhappy relationship that will undermine your self-esteem and mental health.