What is the true meaning of the relationship between a man and a woman? You may not have even thought about it. Let's try to figure it out together.
One Medium reader, Alex Buck, once asked, “What are the reasons for being in a relationship with someone? What should be the meaning of such a relationship, and its ultimate goal? How can you answer such a question? In fact, we simply cannot give a universal answer that suits everyone, because it very much depends on who you ask and what approach to life you practice in general. Too many people entering into relationships think first and foremost about what they can get from their partner and what they are supposed to do - regardless of the circumstances.
You are with all your heart for them, and they are for you...
How often do you put your heart into a person, sincerely help, trust recklessly... but people do not appreciate good attitude towards themselves! They take it for granted! They turn their backs on you, forgetting to even say “thank you.” Ungrateful! So how can you trust people now? It can be so offensive that the next time you wonder whether the person deserves to be treated well.
In life, unpleasant incidents often happen to pleasant people. Why does this happen and what relationships with people do you need to know so that pleasant stories happen more often in life? Let's try to figure it out.
Films about the philosophy of life
Directors turn to the theme of human life in their films. Films about the philosophy of life that will make you think:
- "Tree of Life"
. Directed by Terrence Malick. This movie raises millions of rhetorical questions about the meaning of life, the problem of human identity. - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
. The film by Michel Gondry, released in 2004, is a kind of philosophical teaching about how to live your life, accept mistakes and not forget about them. - "Fountain"
. A fantastic movie from Darren Aronofsky will show new interpretations of reality.
Psychology of human relationships: you to me - I to you?
Today, for those who are interested in the issue of relationships between people, modern psychology can offer a lot of training on the formation of relationships. One of the methods taught at such trainings is the relationship between you and me. This is such a cast of commodity-money relations, only in personal life.
“You give me a new dress - I give you borscht, cutlets and clean socks. What, are you just tired today? Well, then I’m just tired too.”
It always ends very sadly, depriving you of a chance at happiness.
The main problem with personal relationship training is the belief that there is a universal magic strategy on how to be simpler in relationships and live happily. A thinking person understands that this is impossible: any behavioral strategy is good only for specific situations and specific people. For example, the idea “you give me, I give you” may be useful in business, but in close relationships it is destructive.
Books about the philosophy of life for self-development
Fiction can be an excellent source of philosophical enlightenment. It is not only scientific or popular science books written by philosophers that introduce new philosophical ideas and give impetus. Five books that present the philosophy of human life:
- "Stranger"
. Albert Camus. The book is fiction; in it the author managed to reflect the basic ideas of existentialism, even better than in philosophical treatises. - "Siddhartha"
. Hermann Hesse. This book will take your thoughts from worries about the future to thoughts about the beauty of the present. - "The Picture of Dorian Grey"
. Oscar Wilde. A great book about the dangers associated with pride and vanity, in it the reader will find a lot of self-reflection and sensory exploration. - "Thus Spoke Zarathustra"
. Friedrich Nietzsche. Nietzsche built one of the most original and radical philosophies in his entire history. His ideas continue to send shock waves through the Christian community. Most people reject Nietzsche's slogan that "God is dead", but in this work Nietzsche actually explains this statement and voices interesting ideas about life on Earth. - "Transformation"
. Franz Kafka. One day, waking up, the hero of the story discovers that he has turned into a large insect...
My attitude to life: something is always missing!
Either money, then love, or simple human gratitude! If only I could see right through a person! So that you can immediately read him like an open book: when and why he lies, what makes him angry, what makes him happy, what are the motives of his behavior.
Good news: this is possible with the knowledge of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan!
Yuri Burlan's method reveals to you how a person works, his psyche, and you can understand this already in the first minutes of meeting you. Depending on the combination and states of the vectors that determine our psyche, desires and character traits, a person manifests himself in completely different ways with other people.
By observing a person systematically, that is, through his vectors, you can understand the reasons for his actions and select the most effective way to build relationships with him. This is the answer to the question of how to become simpler in relationships: when a person is understandable and predictable for you, you feel calm and protected in any situation. You know what you can do to please him and what will greatly upset him.
Let's look at a few examples of common situations.
Irrationalism and philosophy of life
Irrationalism is based on the uniqueness of human experience, the importance of instincts and feelings, as opposed to rational knowledge. It, like romanticism in literature, became a reaction to rationalism. Reflected in the historicism and relativism of Wilhelm Dilthey. For him, all knowledge was conditioned by a personal historical perspective, so he asserted the importance of the humanities.
Johann Georg Hamann, a German philosopher, rejected the process of reflection and sought truth in feeling and faith. Personal confidence is the final criterion of truth. His colleague in the literary group Sturm und Drang, Friedrich Jacobi, exalted the certainty and clarity of faith at the expense of intellectual knowledge.
Friedrich Schelling and Henri Bergson, concerned with the uniqueness of human experience, turned to intuitionism, which “sees things invisible to science.” Reason itself was not annulled, it lost its leading role. - the engine underlying existence. Pragmatism, existentialism, irrationalism are a philosophy of life that has expanded the understanding of human life and thought.
Human ingratitude
Why do people sometimes not remember kindness and do not want to repay the same? In the “ungrateful” section, people with the anal vector include skin people - people with the skin vector. For a person with an anal vector, recognition of his merits is very important, so a simple human “thank you” not said on time hurts them deeply. People with the skin vector, on the contrary, are deeply rational, so it is often easier for them to offer money than to thank them from the heart. And this is not out of malice - it’s just that the skin vector has other priorities.
His task is to run, to strive forward, to obtain more and more benefits, to conquer new heights; without him there would be no progress and no business. Technology is what people with the skin vector do for all of us, including the computer on which you are now reading this article.
But sometimes they forget to say thank you or congratulate a loved one on their birthday. Their psyche is structured differently, they have different desires, their own strengths and weaknesses. But that’s why we are different, so that we can complement each other!
Relationships with people are the most important thing in our lives.
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Without them we are nothing. In the absence of what is outside of us, we do not exist. Only in contact with the World do we become aware of ourselves, and in interaction with our own kind we gain the greatest experience, and a person becomes a person.
There is nothing accidental, and it is not for nothing that people were shown several examples of children raised by animals - they were never able to become people, even when they returned to human society. In the first 5 years, a child gains 85% of all information, everything necessary for life, therefore, if he is deprived of relationships with people at this time, he will no longer be able to catch up with his development.
All forms of relationships existing in life: interpersonal, sexual, family, industrial, social, economic, political, all serve for one thing - for human development!
This is what everything is created for! Many are under the misconception that they work, do some things to achieve some goals, “just communicate,” “accidentally” find themselves in the same team, “accidentally” fall in love, but in fact, all life combinations line up in first of all, for the main thing - to build relationships, and through them - for the development of man, for the revelation of divine qualities in him.
A person comes naked and leaves naked, the soul takes nothing from what has been achieved on Earth, except for one thing - the experience of relationships. This is the main wealth - for this reason a person is on Earth. There is no more important task for man on Earth!
Some people believe that the main thing is to gain knowledge, and they strive to obtain it all their lives. But the knowledge that a person acquires on Earth is small crumbs of the limitless amount of information that exists in the Universe, on other planes. And it’s not these crumbs that a person comes here for.
Moreover, there is no need to put material achievements at the forefront - many now understand that this is even more perishable. But, nevertheless, most people continue to consider material values as the main things in their lives. Today, this indicates a very low state of consciousness, and such people experience more and more problems in life, they increasingly die “for no reason.” The Earth becomes different, the mental space of humanity becomes more conscious and those who do not change their worldview will be forced to leave.
It's time to realize that the main wealth on Earth, in this divided world, is the experience of building relationships with all the people you meet.
Earthly relations are also interesting because here the maximum division of matter occurs and there is a division not only into individuals, but also into two halves of a person - male and female.
In such conditions, the experiment is the most interesting and effective, and the experience is the largest and deepest. That is why souls strive to get here so much.
It is very important to come face to face with another. This is the apotheosis of relationships on Earth - to separate so much that you see the other and see yourself in the other! This is where the richest experience is gained - this is where it is most difficult to realize your divinity.
As important as the topic of relationships is, it is also complex. Most of all there is “stuff”: misconceptions, complexes, problems in people’s relationships with each other. From interpersonal and intra-family to interstate – relationships play a major role everywhere. Therefore, having built harmonious relationships among themselves, people thus solve most of all the tasks facing them, including the main one - to demonstrate their divinity.
This is the level to which relationships need to be taken – to the divine. And there is no need to be afraid of these words. Many people, having lived their lives on Earth, never know true love, do not see another, do not recognize God in him, and therefore cannot see themselves and discover God in themselves. Often God is taken outside of oneself, and then the need
in him. They stop developing at the need for another - for God, for another person. This is selfishness.
Selfishness is the unwillingness to see God in oneself and in others.
You can often hear complaints about the inability to love yourself. And here is the answer - you need to recognize your divinity! This is the highest manifestation of self-love and... the highest manifestation of responsibility!
Awareness of one's divinity and the realization of the divine state in life is the highest form of relationship to oneself and to the World. By demonstrating his divinity, a person treats other people in the same way - as gods. When you look at yourself and the world around you through the eyes of God, everything becomes different, many things open up in a new light. Taking on the responsibility of being God is the highest state of awareness. “You are gods,” said Christ, and these words are repeated throughout the centuries by initiates, prophets, teachers...
This is the story that Anatoly from America told me, who in his youth met with Anthony of Sourozh, the bishop of the Russian Orthodox Church Abroad. Just after graduating from school, Anatoly met with Anthony, who was on a visit to Russia. Anatoly asked for an audience, and since the visit was tense and time was short, Anthony was able to schedule a meeting with the young man only for two o'clock in the morning. But he didn’t refuse, despite his busy schedule! Moreover, when he was delayed by 15 minutes, he warned in advance, and actually arrived at the hotel at 2:15! Anthony said goodbye to the people accompanying him and invited the young man to his room. They sat down and he asked:
- Well, what did you want to talk to me about?
Imagine the picture: it’s three o’clock in the morning, a bishop who came from England is sitting, and the boy says:
– I don’t believe in God!
Anatoly remembered this meeting in great detail, for the rest of his life. Anthony was not surprised and did not show an ounce of displeasure, he paused and said:
– You are not the only one in your delusion. Do you want to see God?
- Is this possible?
- Of course available!
- Want!
- Then, let's go.
He led the boy out into the corridor. Night, darkened long corridor. They walked to the end of it, and Anthony asked:
- Well, have you seen God?
- No, I didn’t see it.
- Let's go back.
They walked again through the entire corridor. Anatoly tried to look carefully around, but again saw nothing. Anthony asks him:
– Have you seen God now?
- No, I didn’t see it.
- What are you... Let's go again.
The third time we walked through the corridor from end to end, but Anatoly again saw nothing. Then Anthony takes the young man by the hand and leads him to the mirror.
- What do you see?
- Myself.
- So you are God! Remember this - you are God! Think, speak, act and live like God!
A wonderful example! It is from these positions, lofty but real, that we realize all the relationships between people.
There are no “just people”, no “just men” and “just women”, but there are gods and goddesses! The only way! It's time to realize this and live like this.
Only many Gods wear masks, and they often look completely “un-divine,” but you need to remember the words of the Creator: “I always send you angels, and it is you who dress them in different clothes.”
It is time for man to become aware and see God in himself and others. And all relationships should always be viewed from such positions. Seeing God in yourself and in others, and helping everyone around you to realize this is today’s task. It's time to be so aware.
The main goal of Life is evolution. The fastest evolution occurs through relationship with another person. As God tells Walsh, “A sacred relationship exists where your inner world intersects with the other person’s outer world, and their inner world intersects with your outer world. And in the best moments, your outer worlds melt away from the heat of the inner worlds, allowing these inner worlds to meet and awaken to the consciousness that they are Identical and One - and to feel this unity through experience.
This is how what you call Love manifests itself in life.”
MARRIAGE IS DEAD...
Then love leaves
when there is no understanding
!
I am often asked: “You talk a lot about finding a Couple, about starting a family, but reality shows the opposite trend. Interest in the family is steadily declining. Why are you trying to revive a dying form of relationship?”
Indeed, in almost all countries where relevant statistical studies are conducted, it is noted that the number of people officially married is constantly decreasing. For example, in the countries of the European Union, the issuance of marriage certificates has halved since 1980, and continues to fall. Now in these countries, every third child is born out of wedlock. What about divorces? In Russia, for every 1000 marriages, there are more than 600 divorces. In the USA - 550. Even in Japan, rich in deep family traditions, there are now 250 divorces per thousand marriages. Many, especially older people, are frightened by these figures, and they correlate this trend “with the decline of morals among young people” and the loss of its status by the institution of marriage.
Is this trend really so scary? Where are we going? What will love, marriage, family be like in our century? Is it even worth looking for your soul mate? Why all this torment if soon there will be no family at all?
Those who have read my books have noticed that I apply the word “marriage” to the relationship between a man and a woman only in cases where these relationships are really bad - marriage. There is nothing random in this World. Just as in the fact that the concept of marriage is something bad and worthless, it also coincides with the form of designating the cohabitation of a man and a woman. Therefore, I do not use this word even where the family is really close to marriage, so as not to additionally burden it with the stamp of marriage.
What explains why a marriage is dying? Here is one of the reasons: patriarchy has shown its failure, and now processes of emancipation
women.
“Just a woman” - just a housewife, just a mother, just a wife - leaves the stage. More and more women are realizing their importance, true equality with men and are starting to live like that!
True, they often go to the other extreme - they stand above men. This has already happened, there was matriarchy in history, and that also did not end very well. Consequently, a new form of relations is needed, in which one of the most important conditions should be equality between men and women. Any form of inequality is an obstacle to the evolutionary path of humanity. Therefore, now people are trying to look for the most convenient forms of relationships.
For example, there are so-called guest marriages - this is when everyone lives in their own space and only from time to time, by mutual desire, they meet. There are attempts to implement various options for polygamous relationships. And many do not want to formalize their relationship in any way and “just live together.”
Yes, there are various forms of family relationships in the world now. And there is nothing surprising about this. Only ignorant people continue to condemn relationships that exist in other cultures. Look what is in nature? There you can find swan fidelity and various forms of polygamy. And there is no need to have a negative attitude towards the diversity of forms; there is no need to condemn attempts to find the most acceptable form.
Everyone has the right to live in accordance with their ideas. No one has the right to violate the free will of any person!
And society needs to perceive what is happening wisely and strive to provide the greatest freedom for all people,
so that no one's rights are violated.
Many continue to cling to form, creating many problems for themselves and those around them. Trying to keep in shape without engaging in maintenance, people lose their health and happiness themselves, deprive others of the health and happiness, and create problems for children and society. A huge misconception is the understanding that maintaining the form of a relationship brings happiness to children, and many women actually sacrifice the happiness of their children in order to preserve their marriage.
The happiness of children depends on the quality of the parents' relationships, on the manifestation of divinity in each of them!
Children need happy parents, not care. Many, very many deceive themselves and others, trying to preserve the marriage (form) in the absence of the necessary content (love and respect).
And very often it is the form of marriage preserved for many years that is considered an ideal family. Look around and you will see many examples of how behind an outwardly decent form of relationship lies a far from happy life. It often comes as a surprise (not only to others, but also to the family itself) when a “decent” family breaks up. It turns out that there was only a form, and they tried to strengthen it. But internal stresses, if not removed, will certainly break any form. What we see around us is that marriages are breaking up more and more every year.
Indeed, a paradoxical picture emerges - evolution is taking place in everything, but not in family relationships - there are more and more marriages. In fact, there is no paradox.
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Why is there so little love?
“Everything is so gray and boring! Where are the emotions, the joy, where is the love?”
This is a common problem in relationships among representatives of the visual vector. The nature of the visual vector contains a wide range of emotions - from chilling fear to the highest manifestations of love. Such a person needs vivid emotions and expression of feelings. If this desire does not find application in a profession, hobby and in relationships, a person tries to “get” emotions from his relationships with loved ones: he torments him with hysterics, bursts into tears, considering others dry and heartless, who do not understand his subtle nature.
The carrier of the visual vector can level out such states by learning more about the nature of his emotions and finding a more worthy use for them, which will please both himself and his loved ones.
Philosophy of life and death
The problem of life and death in philosophy is one of the key ones. Death as a result of the process of life. Man, like any biological organism, is mortal, but unlike other animals, he is aware of his mortality. This pushes him to think about the meaning of life and death. All philosophical teachings can be divided into two types:
- There is no life after death
. After death there is no existence; along with a person’s body, his soul and his consciousness perish. - There is life after death
. A religious-idealistic approach, life on earth is a preparation for or reincarnation.
I'm offended
So, it seems like you want to treat a person well, but you can’t - past experience of communicating with him interferes, internal accusation does not allow you to treat him normally.
This is an insult. Small grievances tend to unite and accumulate into one big, life-poisoning grievance. Resentment is a manifestation of people with an anal vector.
Resentments stop arising and tormenting if you learn to understand people and not expect from them what they cannot give you. Over time, this becomes a habit when you know in advance who to help and from whom to expect gratitude, with whom to talk about business, with whom about friendship, and with whom about love. Not being offended is a very important property in building any relationship. It is important that after training in system-vector psychology, old grievances against parents and other people who hurt us a long time ago go away, and this pain still does not go away.
Where do rumors about Putin’s personal life and illness come from, an FSB colonel said
It became known who and why is leaking secrets about Vladimir Putin’s children, women and diagnoses.
The current president of Russia is one of the most closed politicians in the world. But recently, investigations into the personal life and news about Vladimir Putin’s alleged illness began to appear in the press with enviable frequency. Although this information, as political scientist Stanislav Belkovsky recently stated in an interview with Sobesednik.ru, constitutes a particularly guarded secret.
What Peskov says about Putin's children and wives
The other day, presidential press secretary Dmitry Peskov said that the Kremlin knows who is spreading rumors about people allegedly from the entourage of Russian President Vladimir Putin and about himself: “We know more or less who is the organizer of this activity, and we know that this work will continue,” the Kremlin spokesman said. – All this is a fitting of various rumors, which often have nothing to do with reality. Such efforts to discredit – sometimes skillful, sometimes less skillful – do not achieve their goal, and we treat them accordingly.”
So who and why is spreading rumors about what Putin is sick with and about how many wives and daughters he has? And most importantly, can this information be trusted? Sobesednik.ru asked politician, ex-State Duma deputy, retired FSB colonel Gennady Gudkov to answer these questions.
Gennady Gudkov
- The yacht of “Putin’s friend” Svetlana Krivonogikh sails with a Navy escort
“Rumors about Putin are spread in the same way as rumors about any other person,” Gudkov explains. – For example, someone is close to Putin. He lives in his own world, but he has friends, family, relatives, some kind of connections. Naturally, these people share information. Because when something happens to a leader, something changes in his behavior, the algorithm of life, this is all very heatedly discussed in all the corridors of power . People close to Putin depend on his condition, this is understandable.
They fight for proximity to the body and monitor what happens to this body. And of course, they discuss all this information and rumors in their circle. It is from this second circle that information leaks into the media and society.
But what it really is like (does Putin have mistresses and illegitimate children? – Note Sobesednik.ru), we don’t know and will never know, because the personal life and information about the leader’s health are protected more tightly than any Poseidon project. , any hypersonic weapon.
- Even Peskov did not know about Putin’s “third daughter” and his alleged ex-lover
– Peskov, commenting on rumors about the personal life and health of the president, apparently had in mind people who deliberately stir up these topics in order to weaken Vladimir Putin.
- Stop it!
Putin sneezed three times in a row - half the Kremlin is already discussing this: how is the breadwinner, nothing happened to him, should we pack our bags already? People from the president’s circle are the main carriers of this information.
Because they are most afraid that something will happen to him: for them it is a matter of life and death, poverty and prosperity.
- Why Putin does not get vaccinated against coronavirus, explained political scientist Belkovsky
“Political scientist Stanislav Belkovsky told us that if the Kremlin identifies these gossipers among its own, they will “envy Ulyukaev’s fate.”
– I am sure that there is not one source of information, but there is a collective Kremlin - tens and hundreds of people. Therefore, it is impossible to stop this .
This is our country. Biden can fall asleep and the US will work. And Putin can’t sleep because Russia is governed manually. And Peskov understands this. And he says this only to scare those who say “wrong.”
- Kabaeva, daughter: Valery Solovey revealed sensational details of Vladimir Putin’s personal life
Relationships with family
Understanding the nature of another person helps not only to understand how to improve relationships with friends and colleagues, but also how to harmoniously build relationships with family and children. This will allow you to transform your home from a battlefield, where everyone pulls the blanket, into a unified system where everyone feels good and comfortable. Listen to how relationships change after training in system-vector psychology:
For example, regarding the most important relationship in everyone’s life - the relationship with the mother - psychology used to throw up its hands: too many omissions, grievances, memories accumulate over the course of living together - how to figure it out? Today, system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains in detail how relationships with parents are built depending on what vectors are present in parents and children.
Universal advice: no matter what difficult moments you experience in your relationship with your mother, the first thing you need to do is shift the focus of your attention from yourself to her. Try to understand her, her desires, the motives for her actions, and your irritation will noticeably decrease, and your mother will feel your understanding - her mood will also change. How to understand it? After getting acquainted with the features of different vectors at Yuri Burlan’s training, this task will be up to you. The next step is to understand the deep meanings of the relationship between children and parents. This can completely change your life for the better.
