Progress is moving forward by leaps and bounds. Until recently, computers were primarily used for work or gaming. And we had no problems with communication. We spent half our lives in queues and traveling. There is only one minus - we called friends from other cities and countries once every six months. And only for five minutes, otherwise we would then receive a bill with six-figure sums.
Today, thanks to the development of technology, it has become possible to make purchases in online stores, solve a number of administrative issues and, of course, actively communicate on the Internet. And you don’t need to go outside, visit a neighbor or work colleague to exchange news. You can do this at home, sitting on your favorite chair or sofa. Convenient, isn't it?
But is everything really as good as it seems to us at first glance? If you look closely at the current situation, you might be horrified! Communication on the Internet replaces real relationships for us. Statuses “engaged”, “have a boyfriend”, “everything is complicated”, hearts under photos. But what is really going on in the soul of the person who sent us the emoticon, we may never know.
What are social networks and why are they dangerous?
Social networks are gaining more and more popularity and are becoming an important part of our lives. A page on Odnoklassniki, VKontakte or Facebook is a reflection of your Self. Through the same profiles of your friends, you learn the latest news from their lives, listen to the music they prefer. Watch movies that your colleagues or comrades have uploaded. There is a concern that communication on the Internet will completely replace real communication in the near future. Is this so, and what benefit do we have from the World Wide Web?
Many animals interact with each other, but only humans do this not for joint hunting or survival, but simply for the sake of pleasure. Only Homo Sapiens (homo sapiens) have a need for communication as such. From a psychological point of view, communicative relationships are the process of establishing and developing contacts between people. Arises from the need for collaboration and involves exchanging information as well as perceiving and influencing each other.
What are the specifics of communication on the Internet? Due to anonymity, there are no barriers to interaction based on gender, age, appearance, social status, financial status, and so on on the list. There is an opportunity to create any impression about yourself. It’s interesting that many people tend to invent a different life and image for themselves in general. This applies to so-called “virtual personalities”. These people do things that a person would never dare to do in everyday life.
So, for example, a shy representative of the fair sex can flirt with respectable and intelligent men, a harassed teenage boy will insult and criticize older people, a person offended by life will be rude and prove that she is right. Where else can you show your character without fear of receiving serious rebuff from your opponent?
An important feature of communication on the Internet is also voluntariness. You and only you determine who you will communicate with now. And if you get tired of it, you can simply switch off. (For the same reason, sometimes interruptions in communication can be misinterpreted by interlocutors as a reluctance to communicate with them). But in real life you will have to be responsible for all your actions and actions.
Communication on the Internet, just like regular communication, has two sides - exchange of information and perception. Here we get to know each other, establish contacts and establish relationships with people we like. However, in network communication (due to the lack of a common physical space), the third party is limited - interaction with each other. You will not be able to touch a person, hug him, look into his eyes. You won’t understand whether your friend is telling the truth or what your significant other is doing at that particular moment.
But this same feature makes online communication so universal and limitless. Wherever you are, all you have to do is turn on your computer and find the network. You just have to want it, and there will be a huge number of people in front of you who want to talk. In reality, it is very difficult to find a friend who would share your thoughts, ideas, and suggest how and what should be done in a given situation.
The perception of another person on the Internet is also limited. Most online communication is carried out through written language, which cannot express your intonation or facial expressions. Dialogue cannot be accompanied by any eloquent gesture. Mutual understanding often suffers from this. Tell me how you will understand that your interlocutor really likes you without hearing the trembling in his voice, a sly look and a flirting smile.
Proponents of online correspondence decided to eliminate this drawback. They tried to create a special language for Internet communication. It, like many other slangs, is distinguished by its tendency to abbreviations (for example, “comp” - computer, “inet” - Internet) and jargon (for example, “LOL” in English laughing out loud - “laughed loudly” - this is how they comment on what very funny things).
In addition to special words and expressions, the language of communication on the Internet also includes special icons - emoticons, which reflect your facial expression, gestures, actions or mood. Using them, you need to clearly understand the meaning of a particular sign, and also be sure that your interlocutor knows it. Otherwise, firstly, he may think that you are littering your speech with incomprehensible brackets and squiggles, and secondly, he may confuse the meanings and decide that what is happening to you is not at all what was meant.
Pros and cons of online communication.
About ten years ago, communication via the Internet was mainly used for entertainment purposes: chat rooms, social networks, ICQ and the like. But today, Internet communication is also a full-fledged work tool: webinars and consultations on Skype, solving group problems in a general conversation, parents discussing school problems, clarifying information when working remotely, and even online training courses. Is it good or bad? Let's figure it out.
Features of Internet communication
Online communication is a special type of communication in which people interact through gadgets and the Internet. It is worth defining what exactly is meant by communication via the Internet: email, social networks, Skype and video chats, chat rooms, online games, comments under videos or articles, forums - in general, almost everything that the Internet provides. Features of Internet communication include: • Lack of non-verbal sources of information (wherever communication is not carried out through a camera). • Time delay (the answer can be given much later than the message received). • Elimination of any barriers (local, time, language). • A familiar and comfortable place for communication, which gives a person confidence and calm. • High risk of misinformation and misconceptions, manipulation, deception (Read about online safety here). • The ability to talk on any topic and say everything about yourself. It’s strange, but true: it’s easier for people to tell something particularly shameful and tormenting their soul (and thereby free themselves) to a stranger online than to a close friend. • The opportunity to be yourself or, on the contrary, to be in some other role, image. • Practicing writing by consciously monitoring your speech. Internet communication can help improve literacy and improve the presentation of thoughts. And, for example, keeping a diary is a popular method of psychotherapy. • Deterioration of oral speech. It’s easier to express your thoughts on paper (keyboard, virtual sheet). And if you don’t pay attention to your writing, then your speech will gradually include abbreviations and slangs. Interesting fact: on the Internet, people tend to exaggerate reality, embellish their lives and their image, and show their best side. When communicating on the Internet, we learn only 3% of information about a person. Communication on Skype is close to real interaction, but still inferior to it. You can plan the time of connection, prepare for it and, if desired, embody some image.
Advantages of Internet communication
The very fact of communicating with different people, eliminating any barriers is a plus, especially when it comes to work. It is virtual communication that allows many people to work without leaving home. And for those who are energetically drained by real contacts (usually introverted people) this is a real godsend. Everything related to work and connected to the Internet is a plus. Apart from the remaining nuance in the form of a lack of non-verbal elements of communication. This can sometimes provoke misunderstandings or misconceptions about a person. But this can be solved. Let’s stop there and talk about leisure time on the Internet. Among the advantages are the following: • the opportunity for people suffering from shyness, complexes or fears to make acquaintances, find friends and life partners; • voluntary interaction; • the ability to control the semantic, content, grammatical and other aspects of information; • the ability to immediately find additional material and clarifying facts; • the ability to interrupt communication and send a person to the blacklist (a plus, but controversial); • stimulating one's own motivation, increasing self-esteem and giving self-confidence (for example, keeping a diary and communicating with “brothers in mind” when losing weight); • development of fine motor skills.
Disadvantages of Internet communication
Communicating on the Internet for entertainment seems to me to be a flawed form of communication. Yes, sometimes this is the only opportunity (kilometers separate), but in other cases I am for real contacts. And here's why: • In real communication, we see all the interlocutor's reactions according to the “here and now” principle: tone and speed of speech, gestures, facial expressions, and so on. This reduces the risks of misinterpretation of information or deception. • Real live communication. It does not allow you to delete the first thought. On the Internet, a person clearly filters what he writes. • On the Internet we receive and see what they want to show us. While in life one can discern much more, the secrets of the subconscious. You can store gigabytes of correspondence and essentially learn nothing about a person (which is a waste of time and effort), or you can get a complete picture of a person in a half-hour meeting. • No matter how much you decorate online communication with emoticons, it remains dry and emotionless. This, as I already said, is good for business relationships (although also not 100%), but bad for informal relationships. • As a rule, speech on the Internet undergoes changes: abbreviations, errors, slang. Gradually this is assimilated and moves into real life (one virtual “SPS”, which is also pronounced by some people in life, for what it’s worth). The quality of speech is an important element of personality. The Internet does not develop communication and oratorical abilities. • Illusory perception, the imaginary similarity of interests and views on the world, as a result – disappointment and a feeling of lost time. This is especially true for online dating. What do we see when it comes to printed communication? Photos, pictures, emoticons, signs and symbols - information that they want to tell us. • Interaction via the Internet leaves only communication itself as an activity, although in life it is more often an element of other activities (work, study, games), and deeds and actions are valued more than words. • Accidentally sending a letter to the wrong recipient, screenshots, recordings and other “compromising evidence”. • As long as virtual communication remains virtual, you can create and maintain any image of yourself. This is what makes some people addicted to the Internet. Escaping reality into a fictional world is an inadequate behavior strategy, not a solution to problems. People go to all sorts of tricks, they even came up with virtual sex. How can this process be virtual? Yes, there is no chance of getting pregnant or getting sick, but what is the real problem? Fear of intimacy, self-doubt, complexes, failure in life - these are the true problems. • Communication in virtual space changes a person’s consciousness, speech and ways of interacting with the world. Excessively “greenhouse” conditions are harmful to the individual in the same way as chronic stress. If a person creates his own ideal and comfortable world on the Internet, then gradually he completely learns to respond adequately to external stimuli (and in the real world there are always enough of them). The more frequent the irritation, the higher the desire to completely get bogged down in virtual communication.
Let's not forget about the possibility of anonymous communication. Unfortunately, this often results in a feeling of impunity and permissiveness. Although sometimes it is easier to speak out anonymously and feel more confident, you can exaggerate your capabilities. By the way, the influence of anonymity and its use depends on the individual personal characteristics of a person. For example, teenagers with an age-related unstable psyche and individual psychological problems (uncertainty, fears) are susceptible to the development of permissiveness and promiscuity on the Internet, which later turns into real life.
Internet communication as a way of self-expression
Of course, the entire Internet is a field for self-expression. This is what bloggers and video bloggers, magazine editors, and authors of pages and groups on social networks use. All of these are forms of online communication. The opportunity to express yourself is wonderful in itself. The question is how exactly a person decides to express himself, what he wants to convey to people and what he takes from himself. The main thing is that “loneliness on the Internet” does not arise: when there are many viewers, and there are admirers, and virtual friends, and there are enough comments, but there is no happiness in life, and there is no one to turn to for help.
Afterword
To summarize, I would like to say that I am for a combination of real and virtual communication. Technological progress must be used, but done wisely. For example, you can discuss something with a friend in the evening and agree that when you meet in person, everything will finally become clear. As is often the case, the problem of Internet communication has two sides. You can’t evaluate it based on “good/bad” criteria. It is not the fact of virtual communication itself that is important, but the essence of this communication and the parties involved. You can communicate with interesting people and realize yourself, or you can simply “kill time”, run away from yourself, creating the illusion of life and communication. Therefore, it is impossible to judge risks without knowing the specific context. In the article, I conditionally divided the facts about Internet communication into pros and cons, but, as you probably noticed, each of them has two extremes: the advantage and disadvantage of communication within the World Wide Web.
Will virtual communication replace real communication? Maybe. Is it good? No. Man is a social being, communication is an independent activity and an integral element of many types of activities. Without real, emotionally charged communication, we cannot develop and become a person, a person, an individual. Virtual communication is, to a certain extent, deprivation. On the Internet, we communicate not with people, but with their images (compiled by them or us), a repeatedly processed surrogate of personality. Real communication is more complex, there are higher risks of offense and conflict, there is not always a chance for error and the opportunity to be imperfect, yourself, but it is much more interesting and useful.
Check out a selection of the most curious and funny cases in virtual correspondence!
Source: psychologist.tips
How people communicate on the Internet
Live and direct communication includes many different types and types: business, friendly, formal, spiritual, educational, verbal, non-verbal and so on. Communication on the Internet, unlike physical communication, can be reduced to three main types:
- Business
One of the main reasons why the Internet is developing so quickly and efficiently is because it serves business goals and objectives. Fifteen years ago, all work issues were resolved by us by telephone, fax or mail. However, now even the cleaning lady has her own email address. After all, this way she can send her resume to any company, and not go there, wait for an appointment, and give a piece of paper to the recruiting manager.
Compared to conventional ones, business communication via the global network is much cheaper for organizations. You provide dedicated Internet, install Skype, and your employee can answer calls from all over the world. Plus, you don’t have to wait several weeks for papers to be sent to you from, say, Canada. Two minutes - and you're done. Here you can conduct training seminars - they are also called webinars - and network conferences. The transfer of information is easy, and the costs of such events are negligible.
Thanks to the Internet, such an area of business life as freelancing is rapidly developing. Previously, it was very difficult for a young mother on maternity leave to find a job that met her needs: with a flexible schedule, interesting and well-paid. But now, thanks to various freelance exchanges and opportunities to work via the Internet, it has become real.
- Informal
The Internet, as a means of communication, functions not only in business terms, but also in personal terms. Moreover, informal contacts currently occupy the lion's share of our lives. Now, probably, there is no longer a person left who does not sit on social networks and does not flinch at the sound of ICQ running.
The Internet is one of the most common answers to the question of how to find a partner, because it is thanks to the global network that it has become possible to search for your soul mate among millions of other people. You can provide only the information you want about yourself and it will certainly be easier for you to control what you say. In doing so, you will be able to make the appropriate impression.
But the above advantages smoothly turn into disadvantages when your partner has the same capabilities. Agree, it’s disappointing when, after a long correspondence, you meet a person in person, and he turns out to be completely different from what you imagined. A tall, blue-eyed, blond man with a two-story villa can turn into a short, plump man who last went to work two years ago. And there is no magic in this. This person just wanted to please you.
But the Internet is more than capable of satisfying the need for communication - which is why it is now believed that you cannot be lonely if you have access to the Internet. But is it? Do you feel happy when you close your Facebook page and go to sleep in an empty bed?
- Gaming
This type is placed in a separate category from the informal type due to its place in human lives. Online games are a huge layer of modern culture. The nature of communication depends on the type of toy. For example, communication in role-playing games (so-called “adventure games”) is built on the principle of theater and masks. Each participant is assigned his own special role, which he plays to the end.
Sometimes characters need to unite to achieve a common goal. For example, you need to kill the main sorcerer or defeat someone else's clan. And then group correspondence takes on the character of communication, accompanied by some kind of joint activity. At the same time, the characters love each other and can even gather at gatherings of similar interests.
Communication in other games such as “shooting games” and racing is distinguished by its aggressiveness (this is not surprising, because the goal of the game is victory at any cost). Friendship usually has no place here. By the way, this is why you should limit access to such sites if you have small children.
In intellectual games (such as preference, chess, checkers), people’s conversations are more reminiscent of conversations between old friends who have gathered together. They are distinguished by a variety of topics and a unique manner of discussion. Here no one will insult, ridicule or offend you. You can only run into aggression if you are a beginner who is rude to your elders, or if you are trying to deceive your partner.
Communication is a natural human need. Virtual communication is a special world in which you can present yourself in any way you like and express your feelings. Communication on dating sites, forums and social networks makes it possible to find like-minded people - in the next building or on the other side of the world. But online communication has both positive and negative sides, and you need to be prepared for them.
“For” online communication
And the ideal me
On social networks, we present our ideal image to the world: photos from the best angles and retouching them using applications, demonstrating our achievements, travel, meetings with friends: “We went to the cinema today ,” “My new look,” “I did it: ran my first marathon in my life”, “I’m bragging: a gift from my beloved
", "I pumped up my abs." No one shows the routine of life and talks about failures. “Ideal Self” helps us to be more confident and relaxed, to easily meet and communicate with new people.
No anxiety
Online communication helps reduce anxiety. We can look whatever we want and at the same time talk with a nice interlocutor in a mode convenient for us. We can take a pause for the answer and think it over carefully: “ Sorry for the long answer)). So this is what I think about this book..."
When communicating in the virtual world, we feel calmer and more confident, which means communication becomes more comfortable and open.
Anonymity and sincerity
A virtual interlocutor learns about us only what we are willing to share, and sometimes quite intimate things. We can, without hesitation, ask for advice, speak out: “You know, my boyfriend and I are going through a difficult period right now. He thinks I'm flirting with his friend."
You will not experience a feeling of shame or embarrassment, because tomorrow, if you want, you can simply not respond to messages from yesterday’s interlocutor. Or maybe a strong friendship will begin with this sincerity.
Big world
Online communication opens up the Big World - our interlocutor can be a person living in another part of the world. There are no restrictions - you can communicate in any language with the help of a translator, learn first-hand about what they read, watch, and enjoy in any country in the world.
Against online communication
Nei perfect other
Pros on the one hand can turn into cons on the other. A virtual interlocutor, like most people, demonstrates only part of his personality on social networks and, of course, the best. He may have an interesting hobby, play sports, be cheerful and sociable, and we complete everything that he is silent about in our heads. When meeting in person, it may turn out that the person is far from our idea of him - short, stooped and not smiling.
Wasting time
Virtual relationships, due to their apparent ideality, can replace real communication with family and real friends. “ He ’s so attentive , he always asks if I’m wearing a scarf, sends me pictures with flowers and a bunch of emoticons
" Know that if most of your life is occupied by online interlocutors, it means that in the real world there is a lack of friends and hobbies, and you are hiding from boring everyday life in a parallel world. And then online communication does not expand opportunities, but robs, replacing real feelings and relationships with the illusion of necessity and importance. If an online relationship does not lead to meetings or personal communication on the phone, then it is most likely a fake, and you should not attach serious importance to it, expect reciprocity and miracles.
Internet - bullying
Anonymity and impunity on the Internet sometimes bring out the darkest sides in people. This is how Internet bullying or Internet bullying appeared - systematic deliberate insults, threats, intimidation, ridicule of the chosen victim. The main reason for online bullying is often a person’s appearance, his “avatar,” personal photographs, videos: “You’re fat,” “Who’s going to look at you, you’re ugly!”, “Are you wearing clothes second-hand?”
Requests to be left alone further provoke the aggression of the attackers; these can be threats of blackmail and extortion of money, up to persecution and threats in real life.
What can be done in the event of an attack?
- Ignore messages.
- Collect evidence in the form of screenshots of the dangerous user’s profile and correspondence with him.
- On social networks, file a complaint against accounts from which they write unpleasant messages in order to block them.
- Ask adults for help: parents, class teacher, school psychologist.
- On VKontakte.ru there is a group “Anti-Cybermobbing” - where you can get advice in real time.
You can always call us on the children's helpline 8 800 2000 122, and together we will build an algorithm of actions - how to protect yourself and stop being hostage to a dangerous situation.
Photo: https://blog.tutor.com/
Why is communication via the Internet dangerous?
Like any other phenomenon in our lives, online communication has its drawbacks. Therefore, before you plunge headlong into the World Wide Web and forget about the real world, think about whether you need it. Weigh the pros and cons, assess the danger and future prospects.
The good thing is that you can contact anyone in just a couple of seconds. At the same time, you won’t have to pay fabulous sums for communications and communication. Negative aspects include abuse of anonymity, frequent deception, as well as Internet addiction.
Abuse of anonymity or who is who
Quite often, when meeting people on the Internet, people, instead of being themselves, invent a new personality for themselves and play it. Therefore, lying becomes a rather serious problem in online communication. And if people do not tell the truth about themselves, then establishing trusting contacts becomes impossible. When dating online, there is no responsibility or obligation, and without them no serious relationship is possible. Research by psychologists shows that representatives of the fair sex most often suffer from fantasies and inventing a new “I”.
Deception: scammers are allowed entry
During online communication, you can easily deceive another person. As mentioned above, due to anonymity, you do not have true information about the gender, age, social status, or work of your interlocutor. What he says is often very difficult or almost impossible to verify. That is why you must be especially careful when communicating over the Internet. Often, maniacs lure the victim to them in this way. Would you be suspicious if a person with whom you have developed a trusting relationship invites you for a cup of coffee after a date?
It is enough just to be skeptical about what is said and not to trust everything that is said to you at the initial stage of acquaintance. You'll be smart to be wary of what people tell you about themselves. It is especially difficult when your relationship is still in its infancy. It is also worth talking carefully and carefully about your life. Fraudsters usually use the data to find out passwords, codes and other information that will help them get rich.
Therefore, pay attention to the fact that self-disclosure should only be mutual. In any case, take your time and first talk about abstract topics, and then about personal ones. Anonymity and deception become especially dangerous when children communicate online. That is why you should pay special attention to how and with whom your child corresponds or calls on the Internet.
Internet addiction or say no to real life
The delights of online communication can cause the deterioration of “ordinary” human relationships. In particular, there are cases where families broke up due to the fact that one of the spouses spent too much time communicating on social networks with members of the opposite sex. In addition, communication on the Internet is characterized by permissiveness, relaxation, and lack of shyness.
It’s easier to meet people online and find like-minded people on any issue. And a person, having become accustomed to such ease and the lack of effort in communication, begins to plunge deeper and deeper into the abyss of online communications. And then the Internet turns from good to evil. To determine if you have an Internet addiction, try answering the questions below honestly.
Virtual addiction test:
- When you're offline, do you feel depressed, in a bad mood, and irritated?
- Can you spend the last of your money on the Internet and online entertainment?
- Are you at risk of losing your family, job or relationships with friends because you spend too much time online?
- Do you think about the Internet without being online?
- Do you need to spend more time on the Internet to increase your comfort?
- Do you sometimes feel like you can't live without the Internet?
- When you go online, do you spend much more time there than you planned?
- Do you use the Internet to escape from real problems and cope with anxiety, depression or guilt?
- Do you occasionally lie to your family and friends, downplaying the amount of time you spend online?
If you answered yes to at least three questions, then you should consider whether using the Internet is causing too much harm to your life. Remember that, despite all the advantages that communication on the global network has, it also has serious limitations and cannot completely replace relationships in the real world.
People who have an addiction find it quite difficult to get rid of it. In the twenty-first century it is considered a serious disease. In this case, you will need the help of a specialist who will understand the problems that led to this disease. He will also set the patient in the right mood.
Pros and cons of on-line communication article
Pros and cons of on-line communication
The desire for broad communication, which cannot happen in reality for many reasons, is increasingly beginning to become widespread in adolescence. The Internet environment does not have its clear limitations. With its help, a teenager’s boundaries of communication are not only greatly expanded, but also practically disappear completely. Modern youth are captivated by social networks and can sit here for hours in search of like-minded people, classmates or simply interesting people. Many of them communicate on forums, using ICQ or Skype. But the main merit is that the Internet allows you to easily communicate with people, no matter where they are in the world.
The relevance of this topic is manifested in the spread of virtual communication among teenagers. With the development of network communication tools, social interaction is expanding, and in some cases it is replacing real, direct communication. Heart-to-heart conversations have become rare among teenagers in reality. But we should not forget that virtual communication is unlikely to replace live informal communication. The role of communication is not only to talk and listen, but also to feel each other, feel, touch. And live communication will never be inferior to virtual communication in these indicators. At the moment, the share of virtual communication among teenagers dominates over real ones. Communication has become computerized. This affects people's behavior. Many young people began to experience difficulties communicating in real life situations. This is especially true for graduates of modern schools, who are so absorbed by the computer and communication on social networks that in ordinary situations they are simply lost.
We can identify some motives that push him to replace real communication with virtual communication. Firstly, it is anonymity. In the Internet environment, a teenager can enter data about himself that differs from the real one. He can show greater freedom of expression and convey false information. This gives him a feeling of irresponsibility and impunity. Internet communication helps a teenager create an impression of himself according to his choice, and does not limit the opportunity to become who he wants to be. Voluntariness can be considered a prerequisite for anonymity. The teenager himself voluntarily makes contacts or avoids them, or can interrupt them, which can lead to significant differences between the constructed virtual and real personalities and the emergence of deviant behavior. Based on these results, we can conclude that teenagers use Internet resources for various purposes: to study, obtain information, play, and also to communicate with their peers. But it should be noted that in older adolescence and early adolescence, real communication becomes the dominant one. Today, communication is beginning to become computerized and has an impact on people’s behavior. Many teenagers began to experience difficulties in communicating in real life situations due to underdevelopment of real communication skills with people. Virtual communication is just an illusion. After all, you don’t have real interlocutors there, they are all impersonal, and it’s difficult to say what is hidden behind the masks. On the Internet you can come up with any story about yourself, give yourself any “expression” on your face, dream up anything you want. Another thing is real communication, when we see and feel the emotions and mood of the interlocutor, and we can hardly make a mistake here, since we focus on our feelings, and not on emoticons or symbols on a computer monitor. Thus, we can highlight the following pros and cons of on-line communication.
“For” online communication
Ideal “I” On social networks we present our ideal image to the world: photos from the best angles and retouching them using applications, demonstrating our achievements, travel, meetings with friends: “We went to the cinema today”, “My new look”, “I I did it: I ran my first marathon in my life,” “I’m bragging: a gift from my loved one,” “I pumped up my abs.” No one shows the routine of life and talks about failures. “Ideal Self” helps us to be more confident and relaxed, to easily meet and communicate with new people.
No anxiety Online communication helps reduce anxiety. We can look whatever we want and at the same time talk with a nice interlocutor in a mode convenient for us. We can take a pause for the answer and think it over carefully: “Sorry for the long answer)). So this is what I think about this book...” When communicating in the virtual world, we feel calmer and more confident, which means that communication becomes more comfortable and open.
Anonymity and sincerity A virtual interlocutor learns about us only what we are ready to share, and sometimes quite secret things. We can, without hesitation, ask for advice, speak out: “You know, my boyfriend and I are going through a difficult period right now. He thinks I'm flirting with his friend." You will not experience a feeling of shame or embarrassment, because tomorrow, if you want, you can simply not respond to messages from yesterday’s interlocutor. Or maybe a strong friendship will begin with this sincerity.
Big World Online communication opens up the Big World - our interlocutor can be a person living in another part of the world. There are no restrictions - you can communicate in any language with the help of a translator, learn first-hand about what they read, watch, and enjoy in any country in the world. Against online communication
The imperfect other. Pros on the one hand can turn into cons on the other. A virtual interlocutor, like most people, demonstrates only part of his personality on social networks and, of course, the best. He may have an interesting hobby, play sports, be cheerful and sociable, and we complete everything that he is silent about in our heads. When meeting in person, it may turn out that the person is far from our idea of him - short, stooped and not smiling.
Waste of time Virtual relationships, due to their apparent ideality, can replace real communication with family and real friends. “He’s so attentive, he always asks if I’m wearing a scarf, sends me pictures of flowers and a bunch of emoticons.” Know that if most of your life is occupied by online interlocutors, it means that in the real world there is a lack of friends and hobbies, and you are hiding from boring everyday life in a parallel world. And then online communication does not expand opportunities, but robs, replacing real feelings and relationships with the illusion of necessity and importance. If an online relationship does not lead to meetings or personal communication on the phone, then it is most likely a fake, and you should not attach serious importance to it, expect reciprocity and miracles.
Internet bullying Anonymity and impunity on the Internet sometimes bring out the darkest sides in people. This is how Internet bullying or Internet bullying appeared - systematic deliberate insults, threats, intimidation, ridicule of the chosen victim. The main reason for online bullying is often a person’s appearance, his “avatar,” personal photographs, videos: “You’re fat,” “Who’s going to look at you, you’re ugly!”, “Are you wearing clothes second-hand?” Requests to be left alone further provoke the aggression of the attackers; these can be threats of blackmail and extortion of money, up to persecution and threats in real life.
How to communicate on the Internet
Follow the same rules of communication online as you do in real life. Don't be rude or insult other people. Many of them react just as sharply to sharp attacks as usual. Therefore, comply with moral and social norms, despite the lack of possible punishment. Then online communication will really bring you joy.
When you visit various forums and sites, do not forget to familiarize yourself with the specific rules of communication on them. Read what other users write. Remember the saying: “Don’t take your charter into someone else’s monastery.” If you don't like something on a particular forum, it's easier to try to find another one rather than redo this one (unless you're its owner, of course).
Respect your interlocutors. Do not neglect the norms of the Russian language and grammar. The “padonkaff language”, which once became widespread, mostly causes rejection and reluctance in cultured people to carry on a conversation. Watch your speech in all aspects. For example, overusing quotes can cause hostility. Believe me, the phrases “I am a woman, which means I am an actress. I have a hundred faces and a thousand roles…” are already in the minds of most users. Write something smart and not hackneyed in your status. And people will be drawn to you.
Listen to other participants and share your knowledge with them. Many people turn to the Internet for help, including you. Therefore, if you know the answer to a question asked in the chat, do not be lazy to write a couple of lines. Share all the information you have with the person asking.
Contain strong emotions. There is such a phenomenon - “trolling” - when one person writes something solely in order to cause a violent reaction in other people and pit them against each other. Don’t give him such pleasure, be moderately calm and restrained. The same goes for you. Do not ask provocative questions that could irritate all forum participants.
Be tolerant of your and others' rights to privacy. Don't try to hack your boyfriend's email to read the correspondence. It's just as ugly as in real life. If, for example, you turned on the computer and your partner’s or friend’s page loaded in the browser, exit it.
How to please your interlocutor on the Internet
Many people, as mentioned above, use communication on the Internet to make new friends. In this regard, the network provides almost limitless possibilities. But in reality it turns out to be not so simple. In order to attract other people in cyberspace, try to properly use the advantages of the Internet and negate its disadvantages.
As stated earlier, no one will appreciate your appearance on the Internet. And this can be both a plus and a minus. If you are accustomed to the idea that beauty is your trump card, prompting people to start getting to know you, then you may feel out of place in online communication. You may feel like no one is paying attention to you. But if there are any shortcomings in your appearance that in everyday life scare away other people, then the Internet can serve you well. It is here that your inner world will become your main trump card, with which men will fall in love.
By the way, about the soul and your thoughts. This is what determines how others will perceive you. Therefore, as many people train their figure and pump up their abs, “pump up” your inner world! Read books, watch films, take an interest in the latest news and events happening in the world.
If you want to meet a man on the Internet, try to develop in the direction of purely masculine topics. Of course, sports, weapons, cars, fishing and similar hobbies are not as interesting as shopping, but you can get involved in it over time. Be sure to visit forums dedicated to similar topics. There are usually much fewer representatives of the fair sex than on other sites. You will be a unique woman who shares the interests of a man, and they are very attracted to this!
But in no case do not forget about your individuality. Since looks don't matter on the Internet, it becomes especially noticeable how similar some girls are to each other. The same interests (such as “expensive clothes, beautiful cars, sexy men”), the same statuses (classics of the genre - “I’m hard to find, easy to lose and impossible to forget”), the same pictures on avatars. All this causes a sad smile in smart and interesting men (and that’s exactly what we need?). Don't try to stand out too much. Just don't be banal.
When communicating, try to be natural. Even if your partner does not see your face and gestures, he can still sense deception and falsehood. Therefore, do not try to maintain a conversation on the topic “cognitive dissonance as a factor in the formation of negative emotions” while constantly using a search engine and Wikipedia. It’s better to honestly admit that you don’t understand anything about this, but you’ll be happy to learn something new. And then your interlocutor (especially a man) will be happy to tell you about it.
At the same time, there is no need to deliberately pretend to be a fool, as many representatives of the fair sex like to do. Of course, some men like this image, but not all. A real man will be interested in communicating with an equal partner. There are no mediocre and unsuccessful people in everything. Most likely, you have a penchant for something, and you may even be an expert in something. And don’t think that your hobby or hobby is not interesting to anyone - this is not true at all. Try going to a forum of people interested in your topic. And you will see how many people you have something to share with.
To make it easier and more pleasant to communicate with you, post a couple of your photos. But only those where you are depicted in a favorable light. Thanks to this, the interlocutor, when talking to you, will imagine you mentally. And this will only improve the relationship and make your contact direct. In addition, some things or events can be conversation starters. For example: “What, you were also in Goa? I love this place! What did you like most?” etc. ... Gradually, such a conversation can lead to a discussion of plans for a joint vacation. Just don’t need to specifically look for topics that can be discussed.
When corresponding on the Internet, watch the manner of your communication - fortunately, the delay in responses allows you to do this. For example, if in life you are scolded for speaking too complexly or for using too many filler words, then online you can control this. And gradually this useful habit can move from conversations on the Internet into real life. And then the benefits of social networks and communication forums will become obvious.
Communication on the Internet on various topics is generally a useful and safe platform for practicing new behavior options. For example, you always wanted to be bold and relaxed when communicating with men. And there is nothing better than trying it on the Internet! The worst that can happen is that you cut off contact and never see these partners again. And if you like it, you can transfer the acquired style into everyday life with relative ease.
