Growth zone. How to get promoted? | Psychology of life

Three paths to personal growth

And if the question of personal growth arises at all, it means that there is no harmony in your life and some changes are needed.

You can start practicing self-development at any age, at 20, 30, 40, and 50 years old. You can always engage in self-development!

Personal growth or self-development is the process of developing some new qualities in yourself that will lead you to improvement in many areas of life.

In 1959, the famous psychologist Karl Rogers indicated that personal growth must begin if you want fundamental changes in life and he highlighted

The law of “personal growth”, which fits into one phrase: “If..., Then...”.

For example, if I don't know how to swim, then I will drown if I don't take some action.

If I learn to swim, then I will swim in any situation.

There are different methods, let's look at which ones.

From the books
Develop your own method of personal growth
With the help of a coach (the most expensive and fastest way)

And a mixed path, when you little by little try what is closer to you, how better and faster you can achieve your goals.

Personal development

The film “How to achieve results in personal growth? N.I. Kozlov"

Personal development, growth and development of the individual is the most general concept that describes all positive changes in the individual as a result of internal processes and external influences. This is all that unfolds in a person with age, what is formed under influence from the outside, what develops in joint activities with others and what develops within the person himself.

It is not always clear what happened to a person - whether it was actual growth, whether it was development, transformation or formation, but in some cases we can say: personal development has occurred. This means that there has been a strengthening of the core and an increase in the potential of the individual, a person’s ability to live internally richer and better manage his life.

“What is personal growth? If a person has more: - interests, and therefore incentives to live - meaningful fulfillment of life, - the ability to analyze - to distinguish one from another, - the ability to synthesize - to see connections between events and phenomena, - understanding people (including oneself), and along with the ability to forgive, - internal freedom and independence, - responsibility taken upon oneself voluntarily, - love for the world and people (including oneself), this means that a person grows personally. Synonyms: mentally, spiritually,” wrote V.L. Levi.

The book “Where to live. A man in the chains of freedom." Let us note that those shown which were noted by V.L. Levy, may not be a consequence of personal growth itself, but may be the result of the development and formation of personality.

The main characteristics of personal development are its stages, direction, activity, levels and scale.

Stages. One of the most important results of personality development is socialization. At the same time, as a person develops, he goes through certain natural stages: baby, child, teenager, young man, adult - with their own psychological characteristics. Which? And do they always pass? Different researchers describe these processes in their own way.

Directionality. There is an orientation of personality, and there is an orientation of personal development: these are different things. Let’s say that now a child is with all his soul directed towards computer games and other entertainment - this is the current direction of his personality. But the direction of his personal growth still goes towards growing up, and in a few years some hobbies will give way to others. The direction of personal growth is the direction of human development in accordance with his natural inclinations. However, it is always difficult to distinguish what in a person’s development is from his biological nature, and what is formed as a result of social influences, and, apparently, in most cases it is more correct to speak not narrowly about the direction of personal growth, but more broadly: about the direction of personal growth and development. There are many questions here: is the direction of personal growth and development always the same, or can they be different directions? Does personal growth and development have only a direction, or do there also be peaks of development (for example, Enlightenment)? If suddenly there are vertices, how many are there?

Activity. Personal growth and development has not only its own direction, but also its own energy, greater or lesser activity. Unlike a natural personality, whose development is based on passive personal growth, a developing personality practices active personal growth. In passive (natural) personal growth, intelligence and psychological culture grow naturally, just as the human body grows. Life goes on - the butt grows, the hair grows, the intellect slowly develops, and gradually in the process of life a psychological culture is naturally formed. In active (productive) personal growth, a person has a plan, an intention is formed, many set goals - after which the person independently engages in self-improvement or takes classes and trainings that develop the skills and abilities he needs. Active personal growth is a transitional form to the process of personality development, since it combines a natural orientation coming from within a person and the use of external means by a person to develop himself.

Level of personality development. The main indicator of the level of personal development is the development of the author’s position, the ability of a person to determine his own life, live independently and be stronger than circumstances. It is determined by the strength of the core of the personality and the development of the periphery of the personality. Specific indicators of the level of personal development are the development of intelligence, mastery of emotions and the ability to control oneself, the development of initiative and responsibility, the level of culture, the elevation of motives and much more.

Scale. Personal growth has different scales: it can be improvements within the personal norm, or it can be going beyond it. The man was sick, gradually recovered and returned to normal. In a psychological metaphor, this is not personal growth, but recovery, successful psychotherapy. A healthy person went to fitness and lost weight: in a metaphor, this is personal growth, but within the norm. He is among the best, but still not an athlete. If a person took up sports and began to stand out significantly in terms of indicators, became different from the majority, in a metaphor this is personal growth that rises above the norm.

Evaluating the effectiveness of different personal growth techniques

The book path of personal growth

Few people would think of learning to ski on their own from books. Everyone gets a coach and learns by doing.

You can learn a lot of new things from books. But even if you read it, you will forget everything very quickly. I use two very good techniques for working with a book :

I copy or copy, if this is an electronic version of the book, the main information, indicating the page where I got it from. Or I write a summary of the main material of the book and leave bookmarks on interesting places.
I will definitely use this material in practice right away. Over time, everything is forgotten, so we read it, took it and tried to do it right away.

The big drawback of the book is that there is no support group where you can evaluate, discuss or just talk about the usefulness of this information.

Videos, master classes and expert advice

The usefulness of the method is obvious. You can watch and listen, see how everything works in life. People share their experiences. But personal growth presupposes that each personality is individual. The result may be different for everyone. And there will also be no support group, and this is also a big disadvantage of this method.

Group courses, self-development trainings

A more effective method, since personal presence always helps to evaluate how a person behaves, his sincerity, his mistakes. But you should understand that the group always distracts the coach’s attention and sometimes he will not be able to identify your individual qualities, due to which personal growth can occur. The cost of courses and trainings varies.

Advice . Don’t immediately buy a long and expensive course right away, since you don’t have experience studying for a long time, and you don’t know the trainer yet. It’s worth taking short courses with different trainers or coaches or listening to their master classes. And then just evaluate the presentation of information, the perception of the coach and your personal sympathy for the coach.

Individual work with a coach

The most expensive, most effective method and less time consuming. Because in this option you will get guaranteed results and quickly.

You will have a support group in the person of a professional coach who will immediately correct mistakes and help you choose the right path, and you and he will immediately begin to implement everything.

You just have to accept for yourself that since you will pay for the final result, the coach will also require you to carry out all the methods and practices.

This is not going to a psychologist to talk about painful problems, this is a coach, and he trains your skill to obtain the final result. And you also need to be prepared for this, that they will definitely give you a “magic kick”, and the next day they won’t ask if it hurts and no one will feel sorry for you. Everything will need to be done if you are focused on results.

We know everything, but we don’t fly!

Surely many of you, reading various articles and watching videos, are convinced that you already KNOW EVERYTHING! That the topic of personal growth has been covered far and wide...

In fact, that's pretty much it.

The reason is that those people who want to grow and develop, before reading literature, turning to professionals and taking other steps, have already spent dozens of hours thinking about how to accept their weaknesses, how to turn them into dignity, how to develop talents and yourself as a person. That is why most of the information on this topic seems familiar to us, and in some cases even banal. And this, oddly enough, becomes one of the main reasons, one of the most serious barriers to self-improvement.

It seems to us that life experience will better suggest and help us make the right decision, that no book, no coach will help us as much as our own considerations. Alas, the majority of those who have already begun to take steps towards personal growth have not gotten rid of the erroneous and often destructive belief that outside help is good, but experience is still better.

The point is not to devalue the priceless. NO!

Experience is, of course, a very important mentor on the path to solving most problems, but you must admit that it often tells you what not to do, rather than what you should do, especially when it comes to a direction in which you have never gone before.

It is at this stage that many people mistake ordinary intuition for experience, which, as we know, is not always objective in its clues.

All of the above meant that before you start taking any actions regarding personal growth, you need to get rid of excess confidence in what you have not done yet and have never done before! Only after this can you count on the success of your chosen path or individual technique.

Without ridding ourselves of this obstacle, we can spend years distorting with our personal opinions all the tested methods, and calling those who could really help us mediocre!

Those who have gone a long and successful distance on the path to personal growth were able to do so, first of all, because they approached each new barrier like a child approaches a new toy that is worth exploring, solving and moving on. They did not act like gray-bearded pseudo-sages who try to write their name in the place that is intended for a period! Everything is much simpler than we sometimes think.

Remarque

*This text, as well as the entire topic of personal growth, applies to those people who are over 16 years old, to put it mildly. There is no point in asking the question of personal growth too early; it makes no sense and can even do harm by introducing unnecessary anxiety into the thoughts of too young people.

Personal growth plan for the year

✔ First month

It’s worth sorting out your whole life. We recommend the Wheel of Balance method for developing personal growth, which will help you not only understand what doesn’t suit you in areas of life that are significant to you, but also set goals for the future.

You need to answer the following questions for yourself:

How I wish I could live
Is that what I'm doing?
Consider your strengths and weaknesses
Adjust your goals and rank them

After this, you need to make a plan to achieve your goals. To begin, choose one main goal and write down a clear plan for its implementation, what new habits need to be introduced in order to achieve it faster, set deadlines and what you need for this.

It is worth making a plan for the year for all goals, broken down by month, and a strategic plan for personal development for 3-5 years.

✔ Second month

You need to understand for yourself whether you are doing the right thing, what your purpose is, what benefit you bring to others, what your mission is.

To understand what your mission is, ask yourself two questions:

What do you enjoy doing most and what brings you pleasure?
How are you useful to people, why were you born?

✔ Third month

This is the month when you will begin a full-fledged movement towards your goal. Because I have come to full awareness of both my mission and my goals in life.

This is a period when you need to get out of your comfort zone, overcoming your doubts and fears. You need to really believe in yourself, and every day, according to your plan, move towards your goal. You shouldn’t take many goals, start with 1-3, then gradually add a few more goals.

✔ Fourth month

Manage your time rationally, study the science of “Time Management” (useful books on the RECOMMENDED page).

Schedule your time for each day and hour. And follow this schedule. Track just one day of your life by simply writing down everything you did that day.

And you yourself will understand that a lot of time is wasted: social networks, watching unnecessary and uninteresting programs on TV, unnecessary and empty conversations on the phone, etc. This is an important step in redistributing your time.

Advice. Value your time. Time is the most valuable resource.

✔ Fifth month

There is an expression among psychologists that “if you want to improve your energy, then clean the space around you.” It’s worth devoting time to this and sorting it out:

In your house, all the drawers and all the corners, all the cabinets, boxes
Sort everything unnecessary and give it away, throw it away or destroy it.
Clean your computer and phone
Disassemble all the junk, glove compartments in the car and trunk
Wash and clean everything, throw away unnecessary dishes, broken cutlery, broken cups and plates, wipe down every shelf in your apartment
The same should be done in the workplace.
After a while you will feel a surge of energy

There must be room for change, for everything new. You can also change your hairstyle and wardrobe at the same time. And this is an important step in self-development.

✔ Sixth month

It is necessary to analyze your surroundings: close and distant people with whom you communicate. The environment plays an important role in self-development. They should support you, and not put a spoke in your wheels.

You can only accept criticism from a coach, a professional in personal growth, and not from a person who has not even walked this path himself and has no idea what it is about. The fears of a person who is far from your personal growth should not become your fears.

Personal growth is always accompanied by some kind of loss, and someone from your environment may leave, do not regret it. This happens on the path of personal growth, it’s just that you are not on the same path together.

✔ Seventh month

This is the month when half of the journey and plan must be completed. And this month is worth planning a vacation. Think about your vacation, what you dreamed about, that you would like to see new things, new places and get new experiences.

Vacation is an important part of the plan, so you shouldn’t give it up. Otherwise, you can easily leave the race, simply because you “burnt out” or “exhausted” over a long distance.

✔ Eighth month

How do you relieve stress? Write your methods. We give our options:

Solitude in nature, sometimes to the sound of waves on the sea
Relaxation exercises in the gym
Swim in the pool, sauna or bathhouse
Meditative practices
Eastern practices and yoga
Relaxation with music
Relaxing breathing practices
Prayers

Someone does something with their hands, someone calms down when they cook or take a bath with aromatic oils. Everyone relieves stress differently.

Master any of these practices, and ask your coach if he can give you some advice. This is an important part of personal growth - the ability to relax.

✔ Ninth month

In nine months, a new little person appears, but he is fragile and small and requires a lot of self-care. So it is here. Therefore, don’t give up anything that doesn’t work out or is difficult, but look with a coach for ways out of this situation or some options for solving your problems on the way to your goal.

This is the period of formation of your character, and in these failures it is simply tempered. There will always be difficulties, and even more so in such a new business as personal growth.

✔ Tenth month

It is always necessary to learn communication skills; many issues have to be resolved. People who are close to you can have a very negative attitude towards your self-development; they can slow down this process in every possible way. Learn to forgive and let people go.

Don’t hold a grudge against them, people are not always and not everyone is able to learn, many simply do not want to develop, they live like that, and they are fine as is. Take it easy on yourself. Go and do what you need to do yourself. There will always be enough critics.

✔ Eleventh month

You are practically reaching the finish line. You need to constantly learn something. For some reason, the financial component leaves much to be desired, they learn everything, sewing, embroidery, cooking. And few people learn how to handle money. And this is an important skill! Knowing how to handle money leads to financial freedom.

Basic rules for handling money:

Earn more than you spend
Save 10% for an airbag
Learn to invest money
Constantly acquire new money handling skills
Set a goal to increase income in numbers

✔ Twelfth month

Here we are summing up the results, and we recommend doing the “Wheel of Balance” practice again. This practice will show what worked and what didn’t. It will show the degree of satisfaction in every area of life that is important to you. And it will be possible to set further goals.

It’s worth looking at and assessing your personal growth: what goals have been achieved, how your income has grown, what new skills have appeared, what changes in appearance have occurred. All this should be done in writing for clarity.

Advice . We recommend that during your “personal growth” you keep a diary where you write down every day:

5 successful things, even the smallest ones
5 thanks to someone who was there that day and helped in some way
Next on the list are your planned tasks and checkboxes next to completion

This will be your diary of self-control and joy. He will be your assistant on your most “unsuccessful” days! It will help you move on and not dwell on failures.

Experiments

At the beginning of the article, the emphasis was placed on the importance of understanding that your knowledge about personal growth at the beginning of your journey, despite how much you were interested in it, is not at a sufficient level to make important decisions. If you are at the readiness stage, but have not yet tried to delve into the details and nuances of the techniques. If you have not yet consulted with a trainer or at least with those who have already begun to study the topic, then any creative solutions or mixing and modification of methods will not only not bring results, but will also hinder your future progress. It's like learning a foreign language without a teacher and not having any opportunity to check the correctness of the material you have mastered. Trying to learn letters and individual words, we still won’t be able to figure out for ourselves exactly how to pronounce them all, how and where they can be used. It is much easier to learn than to relearn! This truth is perfectly suited to the topic of personal growth! The right start is perhaps the most important thing in the process of learning and further using techniques.

Another thing is if you have already gone some distance, if you have already been able to find a suitable method or several methods for developing personal growth, and you see that with small corrections the result obtained can be higher than before, then feel free to act! This is a completely different case. Here you already know what is good for you and what is bad, and what needs to be done so that the technique you need brings results. In part, the very fact of such experiments will be one of the indicators that you are on the right track! It's doubly good if the adjustments you make can be discussed with a coach or person with goals similar to your own.

Experimenting with personal growth techniques is not just an option, it is something that you will inevitably come to on your path to self-improvement. Ready-made models of action will be good only at the initial levels of cognition. When you already feel confident in your actions, feel that you have become stronger, then it’s time for you to build your own model for further growth.

Levels of Personal Growth

Your inner world should change a lot, and this will all be reflected in your appearance, and you will also get rid of the feeling of guilt if you consciously engage in personal growth.

To achieve harmony and happiness, changes must affect:

Physical level
Social level
Intellectual level
Spiritual level

The physical level affects everything that concerns the body: healthy lifestyle, proper nutrition, feasible physical activity, breathing practices, communication with nature to improve the health of the body, relaxation, sex life, etc.

Social level : these are relationships with loved ones and relationships at a professional level, other communication connections in society, adjusting all of your connections with the outside world, assessing your purpose, material security and improving life in general in society.

Intellectual level : correct setting of your goals, searching for the main goal in life, conscious understanding of the nature of your feelings, both positive and negative, working on your emotions.

Spiritual level of personal development : affects personal qualities and spiritual qualities, such as selfless help, acceptance of people with all their vices, non-judgment, the ability to forgive. Gaining knowledge not only about life around, but also accepting one’s destiny.

Professional growth is an area of work whose main task is the development of a person in the professional field, through the acquisition of the necessary knowledge and experience, the development of relevant practical skills, patterns of thinking and behavior, qualities and personality characteristics, which, in turn, form certain competencies of a specialist , as a professional in his field, and influence his career growth .

Professional growth includes:

1. Professional guidance. Career guidance is the foundation of professional success! Initially, it is very important to make the right choice of future activity in the professional world, i.e. clearly see and understand what I want from my future profession. And then decide where I am going to study or work (I can develop my own), what I will do, why and why I need it. Unfortunately, in modern society there is a huge problem - the aimless enrollment of young people in one or another educational institution. As a result, the two most important resources for achieving success are wasted, which, by the way, absolutely every person has - time, as a non-renewable resource, and information. More precisely, this is the precious time that we spend acquiring unnecessary information and not entirely clear experience. From the practice of reorientation of adults and youth, the main mistakes of choice can be identified (see page: career guidance for schoolchildren). It is better to develop an individual plan for professional development in the short and long term, which will allow you to make an informed, targeted decision with reliable significance, i.e. qualitatively produce professional self-determination.

2. Receiving high-quality (practice-oriented) professional education. And here we are also faced with a serious problem - this is a widespread erroneous opinion (attitude, attitude) - if I go to a prestigious university, they will give me a good education. Not so, in fact, no one needs you there until you take responsibility for your education yourself, until you begin to qualitatively “gnaw the granite of science”, until you declare yourself so that people know about you, etc. . Remember that an educational institution provides the opportunity to receive an education, and a lot depends on how you receive it. Everything is in your hands and primarily depends on you and the strength of your motivation to achieve results.

3. Successful employment is when you get the desired job in the company that you chose for yourself after studying the labor market. This is when you go to work with pleasure, without stress... People want to work at a job they love and say: I want an interesting job or I want to go to work as if it were a holiday, etc. But here again we run into an even larger problem. The fact is that many people don’t know what they want, so they change from one job to another, like crazy. Example 1. A survey of senior students showed that the overwhelming majority of students work part-time anywhere, but not in their specialty. Again, this is a pointless waste of time to gain unnecessary experience. And only a few purposefully undergo practice where they need it, i.e. They independently choose the company they want to work for. And sometimes they work part-time in their specialty not for money, but for practical experience. It’s no wonder that employers snap up such guys like hotcakes, offer them jobs and hire them when they are still in their 4th or 5th year. These young professionals do not know the problems of employment at the beginning of their career growth. Example 2. How do adults get jobs? For the most part, they compile a resume on job sites and send it to those vacant positions offered by the Internet and wait for a response. And everything seems to be okay. Yes, I am actively looking for a job... But this is not entirely true, this type of job search is passive, because everything is controlled by the situation, not by you, but by external offers. We propose to consider another concept of actively searching for future work and successful employment. First, you need to clearly understand who and where you want to work. Then study the labor market and select at least five of the best companies in which you would like to work, as well as several companies to practice your self-presentation. The next stage is to study the companies you will go to. Next, we draw up a resume, ideally a professional portfolio (you can always create a portfolio, even if it seems like there’s nothing), and prepare a self-presentation. Each employer has its own resume (how to write a resume correctly). A specialist can help you understand who and where to work, create a resume, portfolio and prepare a self-presentation. Now that everything is ready, we go to less significant companies and practice self-presentation. We gain experience in interviewing and confidence in our abilities. At the end we provide successful employment.

4. Improvement of qualifications by obtaining additional education or a second higher education, conducting scientific and research work, participating in thematic seminars, trainings that develop professionally important qualities and practical skills.

5. Career growth . It is important to understand where to grow, where and how. Career guidance will help here. Traditionally, we distinguish three areas of career growth: vertical, horizontal and “two-in-one” growth. Vertical growth is the path to a leader, administrator, organizer as a hired manager, or as someone who has his own business that organizes the activities of other people. Horizontal growth is the path of the performer. And “two in one” growth is its own master, when a person, both as a leader and as an executive, works for himself, developing his project.

Professional consulting:

Professional growth. Career growth.
Career consultant / Career planning and development.
Career guidance: schoolchildren, adults, the problem of testing.
Employment consulting / Where and how to look for work?
Self-presentation when applying for a job / How to write a resume correctly?
Trainings that develop professionally important qualities and practical skills.
Individual training “A man in his place” / Personal effectiveness training “M.51”.

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Helpers in self-development - mobile applications

Convenient mobile apps on your phone make it easier and better to track the changes you want to make in your personal growth program and help you develop individual skills. You can download and install them in the AppStore and Google Play.

Mobile applications for self-development:

IQ pro - tests for IQ level
Lumosity - improves thinking abilities
Unstuck - replaces a trip to a psychologist
Momentum – the journey – application for motivation
Daily curiosity - helps expand your horizons
Words - learn English or German in a playful way
Blinkist - thousands of book summaries collected
Weekly is a program for accustoming yourself to a certain action
Forest - for those who want to stop being distracted
Quest - motivate a person to do specific things
Headspace - immersion in a meditative state
Moodnotes - an application for those who have internal problems
Black rhetoric - sharp phrases for all occasions
Quick talker - an assistant in training diction and expressiveness of speech
Body language - will teach you to “read” people by their movements
Knowledge base - hundreds of fascinating articles on a variety of topics
Memorizing numbers. Mnemonics. - simple exercises to train your memory
Speed reading - learning to read quickly
Socionics - a reliable description of personality (tests)
Word of the day - expand your vocabulary

Test yourself with our set of online appearance calculators.

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Stages of internal growth of a person as an individual

For those who are moving along the path of developing themselves and the world around them.

Those who study and understand the inner psychological nature of man and the world around him.

For those who follow the path of awareness, the path of personal growth.

First stage of personal growth

At first, a person simply lives and experiences this external world. How it works, what controls it, and how to find your place in it. He collects facts, analyzes based on what he sees and hears about the world around him.

And if troubles happen, the person blames either the situation or people. Bad people or bad situations are to blame. Everything is fine - it means the people were good or the situation was successful.

A person lives trying to satisfy his needs. Acts according to generally accepted norms and rules of behavior, without giving much thought. Sometimes he observes them, sometimes he violates them.

Even superficially he understands that the world is not perfect and people are not perfect. But he doesn’t think much about himself, about his inner world, about the inner world of other people.

Second stage of personal growth

Then comes the next stage. When the understanding comes that not everything is so simple in this world. Here Man begins to discover not only the external, but also the internal world.

He begins to know himself, to study himself. An understanding comes that a person attracts certain events and certain people with his inner state. And the words “as is inside, so outside” become clear.

A person begins to observe his feelings, thoughts and the events that happen to him. And it turns out that it’s not she/he who treats me badly—it’s me who gets angry and thinks badly about her/him.

As a rule, such awareness occurs after a person is overcome by a wave of suffering. And then a person begins to be less interested in the outside world, plunging into the inner world. He begins to think about this inner world, analyze, and look for answers to his questions.

A person’s activity in the external world begins to decline, and he devotes more and more time to the inner world. He begins to ask questions about the meaning of life, about the purpose of human existence, about how his own inner world works... how people work. What motivates people, what are their goals, their desires. And here a person can:

Get angry at the whole world and people, because a person begins to see and understand the shortcomings of people, the shortcomings of the world. Here he can concentrate on the dark side and see only it, everywhere and in everything. Then he begins to tell everyone about what he sees and understands. Communication with such a person becomes unpleasant, as he grumbles all the time and is dissatisfied with everything. The person himself may not notice that others are unpleasant about his constant negative statements. He thinks he's opening people's eyes, showing them a reality they don't see. I am completely convinced that he brings enlightenment to people and provides useful information.
He may see his own imperfections and become angry with himself. Turning your pupils with your eyes into your soul, you understand that He himself is not white and fluffy, moreover, he is never ideal or perfect. This realization can make a person very upset and angry with himself. Moreover, strong aggression directed inward can lead to a number of psychosomatic diseases.
Accept your own imperfection and the imperfection of this world. In this case, a person can choose:

continue to live as you lived, trying to drown out internal pain and suffering;
start improving: yourself and the whole world;
change for the better oneself and what is ready to change around him. Because he understands that the green fruit should not be picked, it must ripen. Everything has its place and time.

Of all the options, the most prosperous is to change yourself and change what is ready to change.

Because, angry at the whole world and people, a person can decide to leave this life. Like, that's it, stop - I'm leaving you. And he can really say goodbye to his life. There are different ways of leaving.

If a person continues to live as he lived, putting up with his own imperfection and the imperfection of the external world, then internal psychological pain as a signal for change is constantly muffled. There are different ways to relieve pain. For example, a person can become such a sweet, wise alcoholic, with deep sadness in his eyes.

Attempts to change the whole world lead a person to be carried away by various ideological teachings. He begins to actively chase everyone with a stick towards happiness. Those who try to resist are severely punished.

Moreover, such a person knows exactly where this happiness is located. And he knows exactly what will suit absolutely everyone, we just don’t understand it, fools. When you get there, you’ll understand and say thank you. It is difficult to bring a person out of this narrowness of consciousness, because he is sincerely convinced that he is doing everything right.

He is driven by the noble idea of saving and improving all people and the world in this particular way. There are different methods: from religious and political movements to the idea of one specific person. And here we are faced with the most powerful virus that a person can be infected with - a thought or an idea.

I once consulted on the personal relationships of a man who obsessively made comments to all the people who came into his field of vision. Even just passers-by on the street.

To a simple question - why are you doing this? - came the answer: “Well, look how bad he behaves.” Smiled. I even wanted to tell him that if you don’t tell people what they need to do, you won’t know where you need to go.

But she said nothing. I understood that everything was much deeper than simple bad manners. As a result of the consultation, it turned out that in this way he changes people for the better. “I point out their shortcomings, because they don’t see themselves. And if I don’t tell them, they will remain in the dark. I have to tell them, so at least they will think about it, and they will have a chance to change for the better.”

It turns out that he decided that since he was given the ability to see the inner world of people, then he should tell people what he sees. Because people do not see themselves. Something like this.

However, I have long understood that when you conduct consultations and come across a person walking the path of internal self-improvement... sometimes their behavior looks strange to others, and their thoughts seem very unusual.

The third stage of personal growth

A person is faced with the understanding that work on personal self-development is a constant thing.

Periods of immersion and ascent initially occur frequently and not very deeply. Moreover, the period of immersion in one’s own world can be accompanied by a depressed state, mood, and the appearance of sad thoughts. But the periods of ascent into the external world and being on the surface of the external world are accompanied by extraordinary lightness and fullness of vital energy.

This comes from the fact that a person, immersed in the inner world, found a dark piece of himself in it. Then, having accepted and realized this part of himself, the person himself, as it were, brings his dark unconscious part to the level of the conscious. And she no longer has the same power over a person. Now the person himself can control her, and not she, hiding in the bushes of the unconscious.

It's like finding and removing a drift that has been constantly causing you pain. That's it, you are free from it. Now you can live peacefully until it’s time to get the next one.

The fourth stage of personal growth

The period of stay on the surface, at the external level, becomes longer and filled with good mood and positive energy. A person even begins to think that this is all, he is awakened, he has received his sight, everything is over. Alas... it has just begun.

The development of a deeper inner layer of your personality will begin. Diving into your inner world will now happen more slowly and deeper. Exactly as much as you are ready for this meeting with yourself.