“Delicate conversation” methodological development on the topic
How to talk to your child about sensitive topics.
Very often, teachers and parents do not know how to start a conversation with a child on topics such as drugs, sex, violence, divorce or death. Children grow up and, one way or another, face these problems.
Conversations on sensitive topics require a sensitive approach. Before starting a conversation, you need to think carefully about everything, find a convenient moment, and prepare the necessary information. The effectiveness of the conversation depends on the relationship between the teacher and the teenager. If there is no trust and mutual understanding between them, the conversation is unlikely to take place at all.
The personality of the teacher is especially important here. He must have a good knowledge of developmental psychology, have developed communication skills, show empathy, tolerance, respect for teenagers, and possess self-regulation skills.
Good contact with parents, knowledge of the characteristics of the family contributes to a favorable conduct of a delicate conversation. Having secured the support of parents, the teacher can achieve the desired result with their help. Most often, it is the parents who are able to establish a trusting relationship with the child; first of all, they should know about everything that is happening to him.
At what age should you communicate with your child? Some believe that you need to communicate with a child, be interested in what he feels, what worries him, from the age of three. Psychologists believe that a conversation on a similar topic helps a child to form, to understand his feelings and himself in this world. By communicating, the child learns to trust you and express his emotions and feelings.
Create an appropriate atmosphere Never start with phrases like: “Stop right away,” “don’t do this,” “shame on you.” Such phrases only evoke negative emotions in both of you, and the child simply does not want, and perhaps is afraid, to tell you about something. As a result, children simply withdraw into themselves. Therefore, start any conversation with your child with the good, tell him about his positive traits, and then only talk about what worries you.
Choose the most appropriate time for conversation. The most appropriate time is when the child feels relaxed and does not experience any pressure from the outside. For example, you can talk to your child while playing, in the car, before bed, while watching cartoons. Every parent knows the best time to talk to their child.
How to answer sensitive questions Sometimes children themselves begin to ask us questions: “What does the word “prostitution” mean and how is it spelled? Often adults answer that it is too early for their children to know about this, and simply try to shift the conversation to another topic. However, in this case it is better to try to explain to the child in simple and accessible language what this or that concept means. After all, if we don’t answer children’s questions, they will simply stop trusting us with their emotions and experiences.
Allow children to solve some questions or problems on their own For example, start with simple things: allow your child to dress himself, wash the dishes and clean his room. Teach your children to be independent. Independent actions will only help strengthen the child as an individual, develop self-confidence, and develop leadership qualities.
Choose the right tone for your answers. Remember that tone of voice is related to the meaning of your words. Choose the right tone and do not answer peremptorily or sarcasticly. Children may perceive this as a disregard for their personality.
Bad habits.
Children can hear about drugs very early, and it is up to their parents to explain to them what it is, and that, firstly, it will damage their health and threaten their lives, and secondly, it is illegal. This will allow the child to understand the essence of the problem even at an early stage. As part of the same conversation, you can talk about the dangers of alcohol and smoking, about what addiction can lead to
Children of all ages are willing to talk to parents who can teach them about alcohol, tobacco and drugs. This requires a certain type of parental art: the ability to give advice and push to choose the right decision, as well as answer questions posed without blocking confidential communication. Listening is a more effective tactic than prohibiting.
Sometimes non-drinking and non-smoking parents mistakenly consider it unnecessary or unimportant to explain their principles to their children. These parents should remember that they are raising their children not only by their own example.
Lessons. You should not talk to your child about his lessons as if they were hard labor. It is best to choose a convenient time and help him do his homework using play methods. Children love to learn through play, and learning in this case is much more effective. Don’t be afraid to talk to your teacher about this topic - he can advise you on how best to prepare assignments with your child.
Disappointments in love
All ages are subject to love, and even if your child is only 10 years old, he may also be very worried about this. This suffering may vary in depth and duration, however, the only thing parents can do in this case is to show their understanding and sympathy, but in no case be indifferent.
Sex When it comes to the need to talk about sex, many parents begin to blush. You just have to understand that at a certain age, children are simply not able to feel embarrassment about this, so embarrassment is only a parental problem. Children's questions are spontaneous but predictable, so it's worth thinking through your answers in advance so as not to be caught off guard. If a question is asked about sex life, it is worth warning in advance about the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases and birth control.
Overweight
It is difficult for parents to talk about the problem of their child’s excess weight, and this is understandable - he can be offended and deeply hurt. In this case, it is not worth talking about something general, for example, about obesity as a big problem in society. It is better to ask whether he is bullied at school, whether he himself experiences complexes, for example, when he has to buy large-sized clothes. And only then should we talk about the need for physical activity and proper nutrition. Try to let your child understand that in this way you can change his life for the better.
Extortion
Often, with the help of blackmail or even without its use, children are subjected to “raids” by teenagers or even peers who take money from them for pocket money, breakfast, etc. Children are silent because they are afraid, but the sooner parents notice this, the faster and easier the problem will be solved. It is necessary to explain to children that there is nothing shameful in them talking about this, since such actions are simply illegal. Children should be taught to ask adults for help rather than solve or experience serious problems on their own.
Talk to your child and listen to him! Support his desire to be understood and heard by you when he talks about kindergarten or school, so that you can stay in contact with him all the time. Praise rather than punish more often! An emotionally stable and optimistic atmosphere in the family will preserve the child’s trust in the world, strengthen his self-esteem and self-confidence.
Speech intonations are faster and more truthful than words
03/19/201810/25/2019 Elena LitvinenkoPosted in Oratory
Why are intonations necessary in speech? Because they draw attention to the speaker:
- to the narrator;
- speaker;
- trainer;
- teacher;
Intonated speech is more attractive to the listener. So the viewer is more attracted to the video than a static picture. Intonation does not depend on the meaning of the text, but directly depends on feelings, mood, emotions. In other words, intonations are a consequence of what we feel and experience. This is the outer, vocal expression of our emotions.
What are the most common intonations:
- consents and objections;
- surprise and anxiety;
- indignation and exclamation (appeal);
This is a basic limited set of intonations. Maybe that’s why situations arise so often when people don’t understand each other? Let's say that the speaker uses only a couple of intonations. In addition, he has an inexpressive voice. Therefore, the listener begins to get bored and his attention becomes dull. And the saddest thing is that the monotony of speech literally puts you to sleep. In the same way, speech, colored with intonations, awakens interest much faster than we have time to delve into its content. Why is this happening?
Why are intonations faster and more truthful?
Research by psychologists claims that the human subconscious perceives information sent by a person’s voice more quickly and to a greater extent than the content of speech. In the case where there is a contradiction between words and feelings, the listener trusts the intonations more. Therefore, it is quite possible that he will not be able to explain what his impression is based on. It can be assumed that this is based on intuition. But in reality, a person on a subconscious level believes the emotion encrypted in your intonation.
Since intonations themselves are derived from feelings, it is natural that they evoke emotions not indirectly through consciousness, comprehension, but directly. In other words, there are situations when words are unnecessary; it is enough to use intonation-colored interjections. For example, when a child pinches his finger, we hear indignantly - an appealing ah-ah-ah! And when mom comes running, she first expresses concern, using oh-oh-oh, and then begins to console and calm by saying well, well, well... And such a drama without words, a vivid example of the investigative chain in life: feeling - intonation.
How do we use speech intonation?
It’s good when the intonation really expresses the emotion being felt. But this does not always happen. For example, people want to hide their true attitude towards something or someone. They use the tactic of dispassionate speech. The calculation is clear: if there are no intonations, you won’t understand what feelings a person is actually experiencing. And there are provocative, conflicting intonations that do not correspond to completely peaceful words. For example, the words “what a blessing that you came” may well be heard as: “he finally appeared!” And with such intonation it is quite possible to offend or hurt.
People are offended not by the meaning, but by the intonation, because the intonation reveals another meaning, hidden and main. (Yu. Trifonov)
An offended child runs away after being praised by a teacher or teacher. The girl begins to cry at the guy’s words, “You and I are fine, of course.” The best employee of the department writes a letter of resignation after the boss’s report summing up the results. Why does this happen, do you already understand? Because it is difficult to correctly understand people who do not control their intonation. They are the ones who most often use the phrase “I was misunderstood, I didn’t want to say THAT.” And, if you happen to claim that you are confident (happy, sad, regretful...), but your intonation indicated the opposite, then hardly anyone believed your words. This is the power of correctly intonated speech.
And, if you still use a very modest set of means of expressive speech, then I advise you to expand your knowledge in this area and get useful recommendations on how to make your speech more interesting and varied.
This may be useful to you too:
Oratory - history, techniques and little secrets
Speak beautifully: exercises for developing diction and articulation in adults
Exercises to speed up and slow down your speech rate for public speaking
Speech Exercises to Manage Energy During a Speech
