It is not difficult to be respected and gain recognition among others; you just need to know the typical behavioral characteristics that guarantee successful activity, and use them in life.
RULES:
1. More action. Be in the center of interesting events, let the energy flow in full swing. Don't talk too much about yourself, it's better to let people be interested in you.
2. When communicating with people, listen carefully and try to understand.
3. Respect other people's opinions, do not impose your point of view.
4. Smile more often, let others see that everything is fine with you.
5. Play! Be equally real and at the same time different. Try to embody different images.
6. Don't be smart. You shouldn’t show off your knowledge in various fields too hard; your personality will be hidden behind it.
7. A sense of humor will charm anyone. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, a little self-irony is good for everyone.
8. Naturalness! You should not imagine: use pictorial gestures or a deliberately careless tone. This only amuses those around you.
9. Be more simple! You shouldn’t exaggerate and make mountains out of molehills; it’s better to just ignore minor troubles.
10. Accept and share the interests of loved ones.
11. Arrogance can only afflict insecure people. You shouldn’t look down on others, few people will appreciate it.
12. Everything secret becomes clear, don’t lie. Lying often leads to awkward situations. If they don’t openly expose you, then they will definitely not trust you in the future.
13. Never humiliate other people! This is unpleasant for anyone, but it is not permissible for you.
14. Appreciate people! Don't forget about old friends.
15. Focus everyone's attention on what interests you and you will be remembered.
16. Punctuality speaks about your ability to plan your time and your respect for others. You should not be more than five minutes late.
17. Get interested! Share everything new and interesting with others.
18. Do not be silent. Courage in expressing your position earns respect.
19. Good relationships with others are always a plus for you. It is worth learning to neutralize any explosive situation or turn it into a joke.
I can’t communicate with people: what’s the reason?
The main reason why effective communication fails is because:
Instead of focusing on the interlocutor, the person is immersed in his own thoughts and states, in doubts or fears.
This prevents you from truly being involved in the conversation. Be sincerely interested in the interlocutor, tune in to his wavelength. The head is exclusively occupied with its “mental stirrer”.
Our internal states interfere with communication:
- fear
It happens that it is not clear why, but it is still scary. What if people become bored and uninteresting with me? What if I seem funny, stupid, ugly to someone? Do you see two people whispering about something and giggling? They are talking about me, I know for sure. You should move to that dark corner over there, away from your eyes, otherwise it’s like an X-ray.
- stupor
How to talk to people if I get stunned when asked a question. It’s scary to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, to blurt out some nonsense, to appear incompetent. Because of this “paralysis,” only parasitic words come out: “This is... Well... mm... uh...”. As a result, I feel even more ashamed of myself, disgusted and disgusted.
- doubts and uncertainty
It is generally unclear what and how to communicate with people correctly. Can't find a suitable topic. It’s not really about the weather! Then what? It’s good if there is a common cause - something can be discussed about work or school. And if not?
- the feeling that you still won’t be understood
Sometimes I feel simply out of this world. Everyone is fixated on some crazy things. Money, clothes, cars, food... This is not a conversation, but some kind of meaningless background noise. You stand there and think: people, is this really important?! Doesn’t anyone care about the meaning of life, the purpose of a person? Apparently not. And how can you learn to talk to people if you have absolutely nothing to talk to them about?
Observing others through the “glasses” of our own states, we always see a distorted picture. People may seem dangerous and mocking, aggressive or narrow-minded. The secret to being able to communicate easily and be confident is simple: the ability to see people as they really are.
Yuri Burlan's training allows you to learn how to identify the hidden thoughts, motives, priorities and values of any person. Moreover, effective communication psychology is available to everyone, regardless of age or education.
To begin with, you can apply this unique knowledge to understand yourself. In your fears, doubts, inner loneliness. Get rid of everything that interferes with communication with people.
How to learn to communicate without fear
Severe fear, anxiety, phobias and even panic attacks are familiar only to those with a visual vector. These are people with a huge emotional range. Their mood can change in a short time: from euphoria of happiness to bottomless melancholy. At the root of this special emotional sensitivity is an innate fear of death.
When a person is closed in fear for himself, his safety (physical or psychological) - all thoughts revolve around this. Possessing a rich imagination, the viewer can even think of something that is not there at all. For example, that everyone is whispering about him, laughing at him.
The problem is that those around us unconsciously sense our state through pheromones. And it is impossible to consciously control this smell. No perfume will kill him - they will only strengthen him. When we “smell of fear,” we literally attract those who can humiliate or ridicule us.
For this reason, owners of the cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors, even from childhood, can become a victim upon whom hostility and aggression are directed by the entire class. Over the years, this scenario has become familiar. And with any attention addressed to you, everything inside shrinks with fear: now they will beat you. Not with fists, but with words. Humiliate and ridicule. How to talk to people correctly to get rid of this fear and feel safe? To begin with, balance your internal state.
When the owner of the visual vector manages to focus on the emotions and states of others, fear for oneself goes away. You've probably noticed that when you empathize with your loved ones or friends, your own pain and fear recede. Joy and pleasure appear. Because I managed to support another, to share his feelings with him. At such a moment, the question does not arise of how to learn to communicate easily with people. Everything turns out easily and naturally. There is a reason for this: the ability to empathy and compassion is a special talent of sensitive viewers.
When visual talent is realized - the talent of making emotional connections with people - the entire range of fear turns into great love for people. In sympathy and active help.
Our states are instantly detected by others through pheromones. By realizing his talent, a visual person no longer “smells” of fear and does not arouse in anyone the desire to cause harm. On the contrary, he himself becomes the object of universal love, attraction and admiration.
How to communicate with people correctly: psychology for a perfectionist
There are people among us who would like to know the exact rules of the psychology of communication. Because it's scary to make a mistake. Say something out of place, get into trouble, disgrace yourself. It’s better to ask a psychologist for advice once again than to blush in front of people. One problem: you won’t be able to take a psychologist to every meeting (let alone a date). You need independent skills to communicate with people.
The desire to do everything perfectly, without errors or mistakes is a characteristic of people with an anal vector. These are natural perfectionists, aimed at respect and honor in society. The opinion of others is not an empty phrase for them, but an indicator of their own worth. It’s painful to even think about embarrassing yourself and looking like a fool.
An analytical mindset allows such a person to generalize and systematize information. And a phenomenal memory stores every detail and detail. When these natural talents are realized in the profession, we see an expert, a professional. Such a person is focused on finding the slightest error and does the job perfectly accurately. But when their talents fail to find social application, they become a source of big problems.
When the tendency to generalize is misused, we generalize about our bad experiences. Having experienced betrayal, we see a potential traitor in everyone. Once offended in a couple relationship, we become offended by the entire opposite sex. Phenomenal memory constantly slips in memories of the shame experienced and causes fear of a repetition of the situation. Especially if, as a child, we were constantly cut off in mid-sentence and considered a “mum.”
I want to communicate with people, but I can’t. No amount of self-improvement and psychology in exercises and meditation helps. There are such heavy weights hanging on the psyche that they do not allow one to succeed among people. Being natural homebodies, in such a situation they simply stop leaving the house.
Awareness of your mental properties and the possibility of realizing them as intended will remove a huge burden of internal dissatisfaction. Then there will be no need to perceive your interlocutors as “confirmation” of your accumulated grievances and bad experiences. Communication with other people will become an easy and natural process.
Verbal and nonverbal contact
Speech is the most important means of exchanging information with others. Psychologists call the verbal expression of thoughts “verbal.” We convey 20-40% of information through speech, but 60-80% comes from non-verbal communication. Nonverbal is communication through actions and body language, i.e. gestures, facial expressions, body movements, manners (subconsciously and wordlessly transmitted information). Body language is difficult to categorize. However, understanding body language can be learned. This will certainly help with communication. The longer people know each other, the higher their ability for “wordless” communication. It is often said about them that these people “understand each other without words.”
Active and passive communication
Discussion with the masses (for example, during public events) or the use of mass media is a less extensive area of psychology. In this case, the communication is very one-way as there is a sender and a receiver. Except in a few situations (for example, when viewers may call into the studio during a live program), one of the communicators is active and the other is passive. Therefore, reading newspapers, watching TV, listening to the radio is called passive communication. Active communication is a process during which a person himself transmits information or when the sender and recipient of information constantly change places. Internet communication is a relatively new means of communication. Friendship on the Internet is gradually replacing real friends and family, and virtual connections are being established. Internet users are threatened by information overload. But the Internet can never replace real human conversation.
Communication technology
Communication is important to communicate with people, to achieve mutual understanding.
However, not all people are able to communicate. There are people with whom it is pleasant to spend time, and there is another category of people with whom it is quite difficult to communicate. At the same time, in many cases we are forced to communicate with a difficult category of people for reasons beyond our control, for example, due to kinship, friendship, the need to interact at work, and so on. At the same time, psychologists claim that mutual understanding can be found with absolutely everyone. During communication, you need to follow a number of rules that will help you establish contact with your interlocutor:
- Be able to express your point of view. The opponent’s arguments must be presented clearly, to the point, in understandable language, and competently. Then the subject has every chance of being heard.
- Be able to listen to your interlocutor. The ability to listen allows you to avoid possible misunderstandings and conflict situations that may arise between opponents, as well as understand the true goals and motives of your interlocutor.
- Honesty. When communicating with your interlocutor, you must be as honest as possible, however, the truth should not be used as a means of offending your interlocutor. All factors and facts that are presented in the conversation must be previously verified, otherwise a conflict may arise between the interlocutors.
- Communicate as equals. Subjects should not be rude or try to suck up. It is necessary to respect everyone’s personal opinion and not try to establish who is right and who is wrong in a dispute. Subjects must be able to find a compromise without putting pressure on each other or giving orders. It is necessary to value the decision of each person and be loyal to the experience of the interlocutor.
- Be able to start a conversation. If the subject does not know exactly how to start a conversation, then it is necessary to first select a topic that is interesting for both parties, and then evaluate the point of view of your opponent. Even if the opponent’s point of view is completely different from the issue at hand, you must be able to accept it and respect the other person’s opinion. Only then will the subject be able to see you as a person.
- There is no need to generalize. When talking about any situations, it is necessary to give specific examples. Otherwise, the interlocutor may avoid answering a specific question, starting to prove that different behavior is possible in different situations.
- If one of the subjects does not agree with the arguments or behavior of the other, then he needs to prove that such a point of view does not affect others, but carries negative consequences personally for the subject himself.
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Communication means
In psychology, there are several means of communication. Below are the most important of them:
- In a narrow sense, speech (namely spoken words) is important in communicating with more than just one person. Without it, such means of communication as telephone, radio, television would not exist.
- Writing and signs arose from pictures. And today, a drawing or photograph can provide us with more information than words.
- In many cases, conventional signs (pictograms) are used. Important information is conveyed through pictograms. In addition, thanks to pictograms, the problem of the language barrier is reduced. Different countries use many identical or very similar pictograms, and everywhere they mean the same thing: for example, road signs.
- Writing is a special system of conventional signs. Mathematical, musical or traffic signs function in a similar way. Without writing there would be no newspapers, no books, etc.
- Nonverbal communication is defined by the concept of "expressing emotions", examples include laughter and crying. Each means of communication must be used based on its appropriateness.
